Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Rad: A Club With Guns But Not A Gun Club

"So you're not coming with us?"

The donkey guards and their leader, Lucid, all made different yet unanimous gestures of 'I really don't want to answer this questions but no.' Which begged Dan to ask the follow-up question.

"Why?"

"Well," Lucid looked around nervously, "It's not that we think you're going to lead us into certain death... wait, uh, yes it is. That's exactly it."

"Oh, like certain death is that big a deal. We just faced certain death defending your wall," Dan argued.

"You BROKE the wall. A monument to my peoples' building prowess, resolve, technical might, literally the FIRST thing people from the north see when coming to visit my country, a structure that has withstood the test of time and YOU broke it," Lucid said, sparing none of the frustration in his voice.

"Withstood the test of time, check. Withstood the test of Dan, un-check," Phoenix said. (Probably a bad idea if he ever visits Stonehenge for that reason.)

Dan threw his arms out defensively. "And we survived. Seriously, what more do you guys want from me? It's not like I'm going to use you all as meat shields while storming the prison!"

Again, Dan was met with uncomfortable silence and shifty, avoiding eyes. "I'm not ACTUALLY going to use you as meat shields. Okay, who thinks I would use the donkeys as meat shields?"

Everyone raised their hands, hooves and other appendages. It was unanimous.

"Alright, fine. So..." Dan said, looking around. He trailed off intentionally.

"So?"

"Where is it? The prison? Which way?"

Lucid sighed. "I'll draw you a map. C'mon."

The group took a few minutes to load up on supplies and prepare. It didn't take long; there weren't very many things left in New Troy to loot. A few random interlopers- raiders and the like, did pass through but didn't bother them. After seeing Dan repel an army and the lack of valuables in the city, no one was in the mood to fight, not even the crazy and bloodthirsty random denizens. A pair of ostriches ran through the town and Dan briefly thought of hunting one down to eat it, but then decided he was too effing tired to do that.

They found a local bar at the end of town to rest before heading out. While Dan was gathering supplies, and trying to decide whether or not he was going to try to eat one of the foodimals they kept following them, Phoenix had some questions for Lucid. The donkey was still drawing up the map while Dan made noise in the bar's back rooms.

"So," Phoenix took a seat, "we've been told Donquestria might have a way to reach the moon. We need it."

"So you've told me. And so you've heard from others," Lucid said, not looking up.

Phoenix leaned closer. "I understand if it's a national secret. But believe me, we would not be asking if it wasn't urgent."

"There's the launching site in All's Well but that's been blasted off the face of your country. Apart from that, I don't know of any other rocket launching facilities," Lucid said. He was trying to hide the information, but not quite enough for Phoenix's magatama to go off. He wouldn't need that much convincing.

Phoenix pressed further. "Equestria and Donquestria have been allies forever. Rice is a threat to all of us, the whole planet, multiple planets. If we get to the moon and free Celestia and Luna, we might be able to stop him."

Lucid put down his marker and looked over to him. "There was a project a long time ago. Princess Luna..." he trailed off, lost in thought for a moment. "She shut it down. Told us to bury it all. That the moon was strictly her responsibility."

The lawyer nodded. "I've heard the stories. The donkeys wanted to reach the moon."

"It was our nation's dream. We've had more than a few civil wars but a major project like that, testament to what we can do, it would have opened up new trading partners. To see us do something like that, the other nations would be impressed. It would also have united us together, gave us something we could all rally behind," Lucid said. Oddly, he didn't seem bitter. "Anyway, it's in the past."

"What happened to it? The project, I mean?"

"Look, if you're really interested, the gun club lodge a couple streets over might have more information, if it hasn't been destroyed," Lucid said. "It's the New Troy branch of the Baltimare Gun Club. Look for the sign, can't miss it."

Phoenix got up. "Right. Thank you, Lucid. And uh..." he reached into his pocket, "if you were actually serious about needing a lawyer... I kind-of am one."

The yellow donkey smiled. "I wasn't actually serious," he pushed the kind gesture away. "But thanks."

"No, no, keep it. It might come in handy."

"Alright, thanks." Phoenix left after that and Dan took his place, barely giving the donkey a moment to get back to drawing the map.

"You done yet?" Dan asked, sitting down in the same exact seat as Phoenix.

"Almost aanddd... finished," he said. Lucid then held up the map. "You're going to follow the Green Line to the Maize Mesa. Just don't go to the Mesa Maze- it's a maze, you'll probably get lost there. So remember: Maize Mesa, not Mesa Maze. Got it?"

Dan nodded. "Mesa Maze, not Maze Mesa."

"NO," Lucid said, putting the map down. "MAIZE Mesa. As in corn. Maize Mesa Valley is where Donquestria grows most of our corn, maize and other crops. But the Mesa Maze is a giant corn maze- stalks taller than towers. You don't want to go there."

"Alright alright, Maize Mesa. I got it," Dan said. He studied the map thoroughly. Lucid had not actually had to DRAW Dan a map but rather, they found a railroad map and Lucid made some adjustments to it.

"You'll know it when you see the Mesa topped with gold," Lucid added.

Dan looked at the map again. Unbeknownst to them except in legend, Donquestria had also been designed by the Fausticorn herself. As the entire world had been built to be a cartoon world to teach young kids, primarily young girls, Donquestria was built to teach the fundamentals of math and calculation. New Troy was themed around Ancient Greece; with its architecture, structure and layout, it was designed to teach geometry and arithmetic.

All of Equestria's nations had been designed with education in mind. The kingdom of Equestria taught relationships, conflict resolution and cooperation. The Griffon Kingdom taught world history, the Zebra Kingdom taught language skills, english and naturally, poetry while the Crystal Empire taught science. The Saddle Arabians had astronomy and the Buffalo League has culture, Yak Yakistan taught the basics of economics like trade. Even if she hadn't built it with her own hooves, the Faust had ordained that this would happen, because it was the world she created.

But it wasn't her world anymore. It hadn't been her world for a long time, and while it did still gravitate towards her core design, Equestria was shaped by those that lived in it now.

Dan didn't know this looking at the map, but he did see that Maize Mesa looked like a giant piece of cornbread. And that was intentional.

"So we follow the green railroad until we see the giant piece of cornbread?"

"Yes," Lucid said, sighing. "From there, the Bursavis complex appears to the south."

"I don't see it on the map," Dan remarked.

Lucid nodded. "That's right; you won't. It APPEARS to the south, but the complex itself is hidden in a storm."

Dan looked up at him. "So how do we get to it?"

Lucid pointed at the map. "There's a marker here, and you're going to-" An explosion cut them off. Not nearby but somewhere in the town. It was followed by another low, rumbling blast.

"EVERYBODY, get outside," Dan announced. The donkeys, ponies, dinosaur and other humans followed him out the door.

Smoke was trailing from the western corner of town.

"That must be the power plant," Lucid said.

"I'll go check it out- the two guys you sent might still be there," Dan said.

"No," Lucid stopped him. "Me and my guys will take care of it."

Dan turned around. The donkeys all were still equipped soldiers, if not the best-equipped Donquestria could provide. It was still a risk, though, but Dan and the others understood.

"Alright. For what it's worth, we... appreciate the help. Good luck with your town," Dan said. Which was almost a genuine expression of gratitude. Until he added, "And if you're going to shoot anyone who approaches, GET A SIGN. Seriously, you have THAT big a freaking wall and you don't want visitors, I get it. Believe me, I understand. But something THAT freaking huge, people are going to come up to it naturally so take five minutes and write 'NO SOLICITORS' on the outside."

"Feh. Wouldn't you and your friends count as solicitors right now?"

"No," Dan said, pulling his shirt out. "Technically right now, we're foreign aid."

"How touching."

"I can be very touching. In ways you don't want to imagine," Dan stated. He got right in the yellow donkey's face when he said it.

"Have fun in prison!" Lucid suddenly burst out. And left immediately for the eastern part of town.

"Genius, the power plant is THAT way," Dan pointed.

"But the fire department's this way!" He yelled back over his shoulder. His donkeys ran after him.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Important distracting explosion at critical exposition moment is distracting. At least Dan has a reasonable chance of still heading for Corn Cob Mountain by climbing the beanstalk?

If the Fixed Surface sites have been lost, what sort of facilities remain.

Intresting. The next step up from teh nuclear Orion Drive, the Fusion pulse Deadalus drive, could be mistakenly called the Dead A Lase system, especially, like in Footfall, the pulses are being used to Pump Gamma Ray Lasers?

[LadyLeomon]

A new chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*

Dan has, for the time being at least, gained the help of the Donkeys (maybe I’m just paranoid but I just don’t trust anyone named *Lucid* to be on Team Dan and it not be ironic) and soon it’ll be one small step for Dan and one giant punch for Team Dan! Now though you just know that cos I’m missing Luna there’s gonna be a few annoyances along the way first ah well ... but as Adan said way back in an earlier chapter:

”Revenge is a dish best served immediately!”

... Serious question: what do you think would happen if Dan put on The Mask? Ya know from that one “so bad it’s good looking back on it now” Jim Carrey Movie? I’ve been catching up on old childhood movies and stuff and apparently The Mask won’t work if someone is ... crazy on the outside? It was kinda iffy reading the details there :p it’d either be really fun or really bad!

Thanks for lifting my spirits as always and I’ll eagerly await the next.

Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan

[Barrobroadcaster]

9979733
That would be interesting, although maybe he would turn into Fluttershy or Tree Hugger. Honestly, I think the Mask would leap off of him. Also... reading what else you read, I think you have good instincts.

At any rate, time to continue writing! Great to see you as always and I hope you're enjoying the holiday season!

9978517
He hasn't had much luck with beanstalks since nearly getting run over by Wario in Episode 8. Right about now, they'd be more interested in a beanstalk that reached the moon. Which is not a bad idea...

[Booster Spice]

9979863

Its easier to drop a beanstalk from the moon. That way you only have a Mach 2, Mach 3 dangling end in the upper atmosphere, instead of trying to go from Terminus station in Geostationary orbit to the lunar surface using standard rocket transfers?

[Razzy]

And they'll find a giant slingshot.