Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Final: The Last Plan

When Dan got home, he knew he needed to lay out his plan before his trusted friends calmly, rationally, and in a well-thought out and methodical-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Dan kicked in the door to the library.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Chrys burst from the upstairs bathroom, yeah they have one of those, with her mane in the process of being done. "Is this Plan Q?! Is this Plan Q?! WHICH ONE IS IT?!"

"No no, if he comes in screaming and turns and starts boarding up the door, that's Plan Q. Plan F is when he comes in screaming with power tools and/or flammable objects," Phoenix explained.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"! Dan yelled his way into the kitchen.

Twilight and Spike said nothing. They walked around Chrys upstairs, walked downstairs, past Phoenix and Kent in the living room and into the kitchen. Chrys shrugged and followed them.

Phoenix looked over the couch into the kitchen, then to Kent.

"So..." the lawyer began, leaning forward. "You uh... you think we should join them?"

Kent said nothing, continued to read the newspaper.

"Kent? Hello?"

The knight tapped something on his neck. "Yes?"

"I was saying, you want to go join them in the kitchen?"

Slowly, the other man carefully folded the paper and put it down. "I suppose."

"Are you like... are you able to just ignore whatever you want to, or something?" Phoenix asked. How he was able to just sit there with Dan screaming through the house was beyond belief.

"Yes. Also, I can activate sound dampening on my helmet. Very useful for meditation."

"Ah." (Wow... hmmmm.) "Do you happen to have an extra one of those helmets?"

"No."

They went to the kitchen and took their seats while Dan laid out his plan. Or rather, the pitch before the plan, which could be summed up very simply.

"We have to get him," Dan said. And no matter how many times he explained it, no matter how many times they tried to argue with him, it circled back around to that one point.

"We have to get Rice Grip. We have to find him and take him out. One last time."

"Dan," Spike was the first to protest. "Things are going pretty good right now."

"We haven't seen or heard anything about him in months. He might be gone for good," Phoenix said. (Though, I have to admit there's plenty of wishful thinking about that last part.)

Dan shook his head. "He's out there. And he will come back. I don't know when, I don't know how but he'll come back."

"How exactly do you know this?" Kent asked. The armored figure sounded actually interested.

Dan stood up, paced around the table a bit. "I know Equestria. Things do not just go away because people here leave them alone. More so than Earth, really, things come back to haunt us. Always."

Chrys lowered her head. "Even things you thought were long forgotten... and buried. Not that I'm referring to anything specific," she quickly clarified, perking up. "Because we DID something about it. Fluffle Puff did. And then, you invited me into your home, and now we're friends, and-"

"It's okay, Chrys," Twilight said, her voice consoling the changeling. Chrys was a bit hyper-reactive about certain topics.

Twilight then stood up and braced her hooves on the table. Dan instinctively took a seat, though no one was quite sure why. She's still a princess and an alicorn, so she had her intimidating moments.

She raised her head and locked eyes with Dan. "Do we know where he is?"

Dan held up a hand. He raised up two fingers, then flipped his hand around and he was suddenly holding a picture between both fingers. He tossed it across the table and it landed in front of Twilight. Spike had helped Dan learn some card tricks and close-up magic. And Spike, believe it or not, had picked that up from Trixie.

"Barro sent me that two days ago. On the back is the location- the Prosperity Mountains, just a few miles north of Canterlot."

"Wait," Phoenix said, rising up "so the place where he is... is the EXACT place we thought he was this entire time?"

Everyone at the table slowly turned to him. Phoenix slowly sat back down again.

"Nicky is right."

"He is called Phoenix WRight, after all," Spike said.

"A for effort, D for execution," Chrys said.

Dan looked up at all of them. "Nicky is right about this. This has been a long time in coming, too long. We should've done this a long time ago."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix stood. "What I was saying is that we COULD have done this a long time ago."

"And there's no time like the present! Exactly, Nicky!"

He sat down yet again. "I'm just gonna stop trying now."

"Save it for the courtroom," Kent said.

"Good idea. Wait, you think someone's going to get sued when all this over?"

"Yes. Us," Kent replied.

Twilight nodded. It was amazing that despite all the nonsensical banter, the two of them could have a serious conversation. But this had happened multiple times before, so perhaps there was a point to it. Perhaps, the fact seriousness and nonsense can coexist pretty much in the same place, at the same time, side-by-side, was the point after all, part of it, anyway.

"So, which plan are we using?" Twilight asked. "What strategy? What tactics? What weapons? Which plan of yours, out of all your plans are we going to use for our final, most important revenge mission on Vice Grip?"

Dan locked eyes with her again. He looked around the room, felt the eyes of his friends on him, looking at him, hanging on his every word. He inhaled, exhaled and said,

"Nothing."

"What?!"

"Nothing," Dan said. "We are not planning this out. No wasting time studying terrain, researching weather conditions, conducting experiments and drills, calibrating weapons or hiring somepony to babysit Fluffle Puff while we're gone. None of that this time."

"So, what ARE we going to do?" Spike asked. "Just get everybody we know together, hike across mountains, trek through woods and march up to him and kill him?"

Dan nodded. "Exactly." Before they had a chance to protest, before a single groan could be uttered, Dan followed it up with, "And we're getting EVERYBODY this time. Pack your things, sort your stuff. I am going out to rally everyone I possibly can, the whole entire kingdom, the Crystal Empire, the donkeys, the zebras, the griffons, goats, the seaponies which may or may not exist in this universe-"

"They do, we established that when we found your tank rebuilt and no one was around."

"And we are going to kick his ass so hard it makes a dent in history that echoes across time and space. Eons from now, they will be able to look back and reorganize the history of a grand, over-arching multiverse on this singular point, the time when Dan kicked this one guy's ass so hard, it broke the planes of existence temporarily and everyone cheered so hard that peace reigned for an eternity and a half afterward."

"Alright," Twilight said.

"Does that mean you agree? Just like that?" Chrys asked. "Are we really doing this?"

"Think of it like a 'last hurrah,'" Phoenix said. (Until the next one.)

"Get your affairs in order, all of you," Twilight ordered. "I will go to the other princesses and my brother."

"I'll send messages to the other towns," Spike said.

"I'll spread the word around Ponyville," Phoenix added.

"I will inform our allies in other kingdoms," Kent stated.

"Thpp-thppp thpp thpp thppp thpp-thpp" Fluffle said, which probably meant, "I will contact our woodland friends, critters and the foodimals!"

And Chrys said, "And I'll... ummm," she couldn't think of anyone. Her first thought was the other changelings... but after all this time, she still didn't know where they were. No one did.

Dan patted her shoulder. "It's alright, Chrys. You just get ready. I want you right by my side when we do this. We'll do this together. And then..." He grinned, leaned over and smooched her. "Then, we can plan other things."

Chrys blushed unbelievably bright red. Plan M2(meaning 'marriage,' the first Plan M was murder), was still something they had only barely mentioned. Chrys had left enough hints on insect mating rituals and hive-building magazines that Dan had finally caught on. He was actually enthusiastic to build a changeling hive and possibly take on the role of changeling king, though Chrys had to admit those were mostly her bug queen hormones driving her. The wedding would definitely first, and they would talk about a future together afterward.

But would that future have more changelings, or just her?

"I, umm," Chrys picked Dan's hand off her shoulder and held it in her hooves. "I think I might need a day to myself. To prepare."

Dan nodded. "Fine, that's fine. Take a spa day tomorrow. Go relax, get ready while I'm out rallying the mob."

"Okay," Chrys nodded back. She wished she sounded more confident than she felt.

Dan rose. "This is it, my friends. The last plan. We hit him with everything we've got, no holding back, and we take him out. We will bury Vice Grip in the past and seize our destiny and Equestria's future for ourselves, once and for all! Tomorrow will be ours!"

"Day after tomorrow," Phoenix added.

"The day after tomorrow will be ours!"

Comments

[Booster Spice]

The Day After Tomorrow is going to be the 2012 day?

And after, theyll be looking back with 2020 vision?

[LadyLeomon]

A new chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ The end is in sight, must be strong, must maintain ... now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*

“The Last Plan” ... Fausticorn dammit I’m getting misty-eyed just reading that-wait they KNOW where Vice-Rice is?! Oh buck yeah!

Oh my ... NOTHING better happen to interrupt Plan M2! I’m praying to the Dan-tastic Author for Mr Mumbles to be a ring bearer, Fluffle to be Chryssy’s Mare of Honour and Nicky to be Dan’s Best Man)! Our favourite angry guy and Bug Horse have come a long way from flirting over Mario Kart

Onward to Victory!!!

Now for my Favourite Quotes:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Dan kicked in the door to the library.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Chrys burst from the upstairs bathroom, yeah they have one of those, with her mane in the process of being done. "Is this Plan Q?! Is this Plan Q?! WHICH ONE IS IT?!"

"No no, if he comes in screaming and turns and starts boarding up the door, that's Plan Q. Plan F is when he comes in screaming with power tools and/or flammable objects," Phoenix explained.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"! Dan yelled his way into the kitchen.

I genuinely love the fact that they all know Dan well enough to interpret his yells based on what he’s doing and what he’s holding during them, this is true synchronicity at its finest

"Barro sent me that two days ago. On the back is the location- the Prosperity Mountains, just a few miles north of Canterlot."

"Wait," Phoenix said, rising up "so the place where he is... is the EXACT place we thought he was this entire time?"

Everyone at the table slowly turned to him. Phoenix slowly sat back down again.

"Nicky is right."

"He is called Phoenix WRight, after all," Spike said.

"A for effort, D for execution," Chrys said.

Dan looked up at all of them. "Nicky is right about this. This has been a long time in coming, too long. We should've done this a long time ago."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix stood. "What I was saying is that we COULD have done this a long time ago."

"And there's no time like the present! Exactly, Nicky!"

He sat down yet again. "I'm just gonna stop trying now."

"Save it for the courtroom," Kent said.

"Good idea. Wait, you think someone's going to get sued when all this over?"

"Yes. Us," Kent replied.

Don’t worry Nicky, between Cleo and the Author’s grand plan (that I will not deign to question, I’m just mentioning) there was no way Vice-Rice was gonna be found before the time was right. Anyway I’m filled with several emotions ... sympathy for Nicky, anxiety/anticipation of the coming battle ... and a general feeling of “WTF?!” at the token Star Wars character

Dan patted her shoulder. "It's alright, Chrys. You just get ready. I want you right by my side when we do this. We'll do this together. And then..." He grinned, leaned over and smooched her. "Then, we can plan other things."

Chrys blushed unbelievably bright red. Plan M2(meaning 'marriage,' the first Plan M was murder), was still something they had only barely mentioned.

Okay EVERYONE had better fill their inventories Phoenix Downs (totally accidental pun Nicky), Max Potions and Ethers because NOTHING is getting in the way of Plan MM!

Phew, and that’s everything I love (most) about this week’s chapter and I’ll eagerly await the next.

Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^