Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Resort: Public Executions at the Bake Sale

Dan and Phoenix were half-way through the camp, on their way to the castle ruins, and both were completely silent. Dan and Phoenix, not the camp and castle. The camp was alive with activity; four groups of displaced citizens without any organization beyond what they could carry and who they happened to know. Apart from a few tents that were set up and the Golden Oaks library, there were no buildings. They had lost so much, yet carried on. What they still had with them was something that could not be packed, placed or even seen.

"I hate magic," Dan suddenly stated. A drew a leer but no comment from Phoenix, so he continued. "It's always so... choosey. When it wants to work, what it wants to do..."

"It's saved our backsides more than once," Phoenix reminded him. "Shields, the shield-ball thing. Chrys turning into you... other stuff."

Dan scowled. "Tricks, Nicky, just a bunch of tricks. Real magic, the magic magic would be being able to poof Ponyville and everything back right the way it was. Vaporize Vice Grip and scatter his particles in a million directions at once, blast him and the Director so far away no one heard from them again! Rip them into bite-sized chunks and blenderize what remains into a paste, and then we take the paste and-"

"I understand what you're saying," Phoenix said. "There's a bit of a leap between making something levitate and then moving the sun and moon. But it's still using the same principle. The same stuff."

He turned to Phoenix. "So what's the difference between us and Ranch Dip, then?"

"I think you mean Rice. And, well, we do have better names-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Dan yelled. He huffed, fuming for a second. Ponies and griffons nearby stopped to stare at him. "What's the difference between us and Vice?"

"Dan I, I kinda thought we were past this."

"And I thought we were safe!" Dan shouted. Not an angry shout, however, though there was anger in it. As his words broke, they carried with them something Phoenix Wright did not expect to hear from Dan: distress.

Dan looked like he could break down at any time. Anger was actually more stable than fear, and it showed in the more twittery motions of his arms and legs. Fists were still balled, shoulders still rising with each breath, teeth still gritted but also slightly chattering. It appeared though at any moment, he might collapse to his knees and beg.

"It's... it's gonna be okay, Dan."

"HOW? How is ANY of this going to be okay?! We're in the *squee*ing woods! Both literally and in the sense that I am OUT of ideas. I am... I am..." He slumped to the ground. "I got nothing. I just... I'm out. Done. I got nothing, Nicky. I'm sorry."

The Phoenix Wright knelt next to him. "Hey, look... this happens to everybody." Dan looked up at him with a frown that looked like it might reach the floor. "We're all under a lot of stress right now. No one expects you to just come up with amazing schemes off the top of your head."

Dan's head sunk. "Yeah they do..."

"Yeah, I kinda do."
"Me too."
"Me too."

"SEE?!"

"Guys, can you all please? Not now, okay?" Phoenix asked them. The commentary from the ponies around them wasn't helping the situation. But they did give Phoenix an idea. "Look, I'm sure you'll get back in the swing of it soon. You've had a lot of great plans so far. Some of them have even worked."

Dan's eyes watered at that comment. Fortunately, this pushed him back towards anger. "What's that supposed to mean?! ALL of them have worked, even the one to blow up the town! It's just really really incon-freaking-venient that we can't magically fix the town!"

"I'm sorry, yes, ALL of the plans have worked or at least not failed too horribly, we just need another one. You can think of that," Phoenix said. "What if... what if we asked everyone else for ideas?"

Dan's shoulders lowered gradually. His anger started to subside. "Hmmm... they don't know proper procedure, though. I guess we can teach that to them. Might be a good idea."

"Exactly. And even if we don't use them, they might clue us into other good ideas we could use. We can build off suggestions," Phoenix suggested.

And Dan considered that suggestion. He considered it very, very hard. It was dangerously close to his no copy-cat plans rule, a rule which arguably he had broken, but had followed in spirit. And more to the point, Dan did like involvement.

"Hmmm," Dan hmmed, "Hmmmm... I like it, Nicky."

"Great," Phoenix nodded, happy his friend was no longer in a funk. "So, we can talk this over with Twilight and the others and-"

"ATTENTION! Tiny talking horse people and pirate bird-lion-thingies," Dan projected. The townspones and griffons once again stopped to stand or hover in place. "We are now accepting ideas from certain pre-approved sources i.e, you guys. So, if anybody has any ideas for future plans to either exact revenge upon or fix something or both, please mail them to us care of DanPlans Inc."

"What's DanPlans Inc.?"
"I only support consumer's union-approved companies."

Dan slumped. "Just mail them to the library and have Derpy deliver them. That's the best way this will work."

On cue, Derpy descended and tugged on Dan's sleeve.

"No, not now, Derpy, WHEN we get a plan submission," Dan chastised. But Derpy continued adorably pulling on his sleeve. "What? What is it?"

"I have an idea, Dan," Derpy said.

"Really?" Both Dan and Phoenix leaned towards her. "Keep your voice down. So is this a plan to beat Vice Drip, rebuild the town, kill Vice, get revenge on Vice, build something and kill Vice with it or all of the above?"

"Actually-"

"Because I would like to kill Vice Grip. And if you help me do that, I promise I will hug you AND buy you a muffin," Dan offered.

Derpy's eyes focused for a moment, like she was considering the idea, then went back to normal. "Actually, it could kind of help build back Ponyville and catch Chancellor Rice."

"And that is?"

"We could have a bake sale," Derpy said.

"Bake sale!"
"Bake sale! I heard Bake Sale!"
"BAAAAKE SAAALLLE!!"

"No no no!" Dan yelled, but it was too late. At the uttering of the words 'Bake Sale,' the ponies and griffons began to swarm with activity.

"A bake sale's a great idea!"
"We haven't had one in ages!"
"What a great way to bring the town together after a disaster!"
"Great idea, Dan!"

Derpy smiled and nuzzled Dan's head. "Great idea, Danny!"

"That was NOT MY IDEA!" Dan yelled. "Public executions at the bake sale, THAT'S my idea."

"It's okay, Dan," Blast Fuse said, floating by with her sister. "We've had plans for an exploding bake sale for a long time."

"That is NOT the point and please give me those plans- but what exactly is a bake sale going to do to fix the town?" Dan asked.

"Well," Derpy began, "We could make it a really, really big one. And invite donkeys and zebras and everyone from all over the world, they could spend money or donate supplies and help us rebuild the town. Obviously it will draw Mr. Rice's attention and we can trap him. Maybe with a big, magical cake trap or something."

Dan and Phoenix were struck silent. Wide-eyed wondering, they exchanged a glance. "It's brilliant," Dan finally said.

"It really is. And it's something we'd already do!" Phoenix declared. "So let's start doing it like we already did it!"

Derpy nodded. "I'll start baking muffins!"

"We'll start baking explosives!" Blasties cheered.

"We'll go tell the Twilight," Dan said, grabbing the Phoenix. They ran for the entrance to the castle, not noticing something had changed about it.

Author's Note:

I must apologize again for this update. Recent problems in Florida which you may have heard about on the news have caused trouble. I am still making progress on this episode and hopefully it will be done soon. Love you all, thanks as always for reading, you make this story happen. You are worth it.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Are they going to use Twilights batter mix, and so end up with Chancellor PUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDIIINNGGGHead?

California. What the ****

[LadyLeomon]

A new Chapter means it's ... Darn it Dan-tastic Author I just don't have the heart to sing that line this week. Today I'm just really I really wish Dan could think of a plan for my problem.

Please know reading this cheered me up a bit, but I need to get through tomorrow to know if it's something that can be fixed: one of kittens (Tank) just isn't feeling well so a vet visit is on the cards, we'll know more tomorrow and I'm just praying to the Higher Power (even higher than Dan's mighty fists) that it's something we can fix ... yeah I'm sorry for being a downer.

This quote of the episode really stood out to me:

Dan and Phoenix were struck silent. Wide-eyed wondering, they exchanged a glance. "It's brilliant," Dan finally said.

"It really is. And it's something we'd already do!" Phoenix declared. "So let's start doing it like we already did it!"

Derpy nodded. "I'll start baking muffins!"

"We'll start baking explosives!" Blasties cheered.

"We'll go tell the Twilight," Dan said, grabbing the Phoenix. They ran for the entrance to the castle, not noticing something had changed about it.

Dan is willing to try something new to help his friends, this touched my heart, I hope it works out for him.

Thanks for making my weekend a bit better even when I'm feeling down, I appreciate it so much and will see you next chapter.

Your Eternal Fan ^_^

[Dustchu]

Ahhh, silly silly, this chapter was silly in terms of plans, but I'm down Let's have a bake sale!

[howard035]

A bake sale doesn't sound like it will fix anything, but it does sound like it will be fun.

Here's an idea: This series is about Dan, and its also very into borrowing from other fictional properties and aggressively breaking the 4th wall at times. What if Dan got help from "Booger" from Revenge of the Nerds or "Snot" from American Dad? (Who was basically an expy of Booger). The reason I thought of them is they were both voiced by Curtis Armstrong, who is also the voice of Dan himself.

Heck, if the author can show up, maybe Curtis Armstrong himself could show.

[Barrobroadcaster]

9305080
If you recall the pilot episode, Dan is a big fan of Revenge of The Nerds for that very reason. I have debated on having Lewis Skolnik show up. The Star Wars stuff is to link it to a couple of my other stories but with so many episodes planned, have to stretch some things out. People really want to see Chris and Elise return first it would seem but there is a plan I'm following.

[Razzy]

Mmmmm, muffins.