Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Zulu: Sticks and Stones

High above the surface, just partially obscured by the clouds were the shapes and colors of pegasi and griffons. Although at such a distance, they were difficult to make out but the flight patters of both creatures were fundamentally different. Pegasi were faster, cut through the air and flowed through it like arrows on the wind, their tails streaming behind them in colorful streaks. Griffons were more maneuverable and used the feathers on their body to turn and roll faster. The way they flew meant their formations had to compensate for each others' movements, less room for creative flying.

The zebra scouts made note of this, tracking the way they banked through the sky. Rainbow Dash was in the lead with two pegasi on either side, the typical "delta" formation that gave allowed the group cover, coordination and visibility. Behind them was a slightly slower formation of griffons, banking with them and mimicking their move but turning just a little sharper to keep up with the pegasi who were almost at top speed. To anyone who was a keen observer of aviation, it was clear they had only recently started working together. The flaws in each and every turn were evident. Their moves were beautiful, unique in this was the first joint military operation between pony and griffon but flawed.

The zebras said nothing to each other; they didn't need to make a sound. They knew the ponies had seen them.

Half a mile away, Zen Zeal's army marched fourth, a trotting sea of black and white that moved across the land bearing wooden shields and spears. A few wagons at the back carried Zeal and anything he deemed important to transport. There was not a single word spoken between a single soldier in the army, no movement that was not precisely coordinated.

"My Lord Zeal," the wagon driver said, "Equestrian reconnaissance has detected us."

"Prepare for combat," Zeal said.

"Yes, my lord."

As if in one motion, the moment his driver answered, every zebra in the army raised their shield and spear and continued marching. Zen Zeal's army was almost a single organism. They worked with such precision that they did not need to speak to each other to communicate; from the slightest of moves, they could tell what one another were almost thinking. The moment the scouts had spotted the pegasi and the griffons, they all knew. The only reason Zeal had needed to be told was because he was still recovering from his injury after fighting Celestia. The rend on his face that didn't seem to heal.

It stung him every time the sun hit it, as hot and painful as when it had first been made by Celestia's horn. So, he stayed in the shade whenever he could and rested. But, he was still in command. He was always in command.

---

"Red alert! Attention all units, zebra forces have been sighted! All hands to battle stations, this is not a drill! Repeat, this is not a drill!"

"There they are!" Dan said, grinning. From the foredeck of the All of My Rage, he used a sightseeing telescope to spy the ground. The zebras almost looked like a giant checkerboard in the middle of the tan and brown badlands underneath. "A nice little herd just ready to get corralled! This is gonna be cake."

"Heh, like zebra cake, Dan?" Phoenix asked.

"With plenty'a cream on top, Nicky. Let's go get us a piece."

"Mane batteries have targeted the zebras! Range: seven-two-two mark eight! Elevation: minus-eleven mark two!"

"Missiles loaded! All carriers report firing solutions on target, ready for mission!"

"Grasp to all ships, circle around the formation, repeat circle AROUND the zebras. What and Rage, take flanking positions on the side!"

"Winter to all Enclave units, close the gap! Arm all weapons and prepare to engage!"

"Hold your fire, everypony," Twilight ordered. "We want a word with these guys first." From the Rage, Dan, Chrys, Phoenix and Twilight boarded a helicopter- the Twilicopter mk. III, aka the "Twilicobra." Similar to the previous helicopters shaped like Twilight's head, this one had an angry face and narrowed "eyebrows" for windshields. Armed with new Enclave weapons, the Twilicobra led a formation of Flutterbirds from the carrier down to the zebra army below.

Beneath them, the zebras had stopped and turned their shields and spears into a massive phalanx beneath them. They had stopped marching but moved side to side, shifting their shields and spears to cover themselves from the surrounding attackers. The three griffon carriers aimed their guns right at the small formation, massive cannons that could easily turn the ground they were standing on into craters.

With Phoenix and Chrys flying the copter, Dan slid open the door just as the chopper reached low enough for the zebras to hear him. He brought out a bullhorn and triggered it on, making that awkward screeching noise before he started speaking into it.

"Attention zebra asshats!" Dan shouted through the horn, "This is your last warning! Hightail it back to your own country or we WILL annihilate you!"

The zebras said nothing. Dan wasn't really expecting to hear anything from them, anyway, because of the helicopter's blades but they could've retreated. They could have thrown down their weapons, turned around and went home and Dan would've shown them mercy. He would've done that... but none of them moved.

"All right," Dan yelled again, "This is my final-"

*Sheeewww-KRANG!*

The speaker of Dan's bullhorn suddenly exploded in a shower of sparks. It crackled, dead and the only reason he hadn't been hurt by it was because the cone protected him from the massive wooden spear that stuck out of it.

Dan turned around to Twilight, a look of horror on his face. "Get us back up. Back to the carrier. Now now now now." The Twilicobra bucked and turned to the sky, rising rapidly back to the ship above it.

"Open fire!" Chrys yelled into her headset. "All ships, all squads, open fire now!!"

"All batteries, fire!"

"Deploy all squadrons! All wings, clear to engage!"

The three carriers opened fire on the zebras. The fire from their guns lit up the sky, the clouds reflecting the bright orange. Down on the ground, zebras exploded as the shells hit them, blasted into the air along with dirt and debris. Screams and broken shields and spears swirled in a torrent of fire, smoke and dirt as the griffons' cannons ripped into the army of black and white.

As the barrage continued, the Flutterbirds, pegasi and griffons swirled around the circle the carriers had made, dropping bombs, mines and even entire missiles. Inside the carriers' formation and still at their level, the pegasi and griffons were protected from any stray rounds as they delivered their payloads. The Flutterbirds' guns ripped through the zebras, gunning swaths of them down as the bombs exploded around and on them.

From the deck of the Rage, Tuxley used his sniper cannon to pick off zebras from below. Despite the nature of the ordinance around him, the tyrannosaurus was as always, a gentlemen and only used tranquilizer rounds.

"I say, Reginald, be sure to tag each specimen for recovery!" Tux said, reloading.

"Very good, sir."

"Oh, goodness, that one's still moving," he said, taking aim and firing another round. "We might need to switch to the carfentanil with those brutes."

"Of course, sir."

At the same time, the Blasties were chucking bombs over the side along with anything else they could get their hooves on.

"Tomato?"

"Check."

"Potato?"

"Check."

"Clock-radio?"

Fluttershy poked Powdy's shoulder. "Um, excuse me?"

"Sup, Shy gal."

"Um, well, I was wondering..."

"No animals were harmed in the making or using of these bombs," both sisters said to her in unison.

"N-no, not that," she said, rubbing her forelegs together. "I was wondering..."

They looked at each other and hoofed her a bomb. She squee-smiled at them and then nudged it off the deck. The small bomb rolled along the hull until it gradually fell off and descended to the ground below.

*yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-boom*

Fluttershy smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

Dan and company parked the Twilicobra on the deck of the carrier and looked over the edge to watch the battle below. Even before they landed, though, smoke and dirt had already risen to the point where the battlefield was almost completely obscured. It continued to rise in plumes as more shells and explosives dropped, reducing the area into a blackened slab of craters. It seemed impossible anything could even survive.

"Wow," Dan remarked. "Talk about dropping the hammer!"

Phoenix winced a bit at the carnage. "I almost feel sorry for those guys..."

"We did warn them," Chrys reminded him. "I mean, I didn't even do half the crap these zebras did to Equestria and when the unicorns went to war with me, I didn't get a warning. They didn't really have cannons or explosives either but hey, I can now officially say I got off easy."

"All batteries, cease fire."

The guns stopped. Black, acrid smoke rose from the ground as the dust settled. The pegasi and griffons stopped to hover, some even flying closer to the surface to see the results. Dan watched from the telescope while Phoenix and the others used pairs of binoculars. Fluffle used a pair of opera glasses and next to her, Captain Jack Sparrow used an elongated telescope.

"We still have zero visibility, nothing on sensors."

"Detecting no movement, no movement, over."

Rainbow Dash wiped some of the dust off her visor. "Woo-hoo! That showed 'em, yeah!"

"Awww," Becky, one of the griffons behind her moaned. "There's nothing left to steal."

"There's nothing left of anything. That's the point," Rainbow said. "Sheesh, you guys are worse than Gilda."

"Oooooh," Becky and Chelsea cooed together. "You shouldn't talk about the old bird's daughter like that."

"What? Who's daughter?"

"Thpppth." Fluffle Puff crossed her hooves, frowning.

"Awww, sweetie, what's wrong?" Chrys asked.

"Thpppth," she pouted.

"I think she's upset she didn't get to make any new zebra friends," Phoenix said.

"Well, keep looking," Dan said. "There might be a survivor down there you can be friends with. We'll just scrape 'em up, hose 'em off and they'll probably be wheelchair bound for... ever. But maybe, there's-"

"Wait," Twilight said. "There's something moving down there!"

"Movement, we've spotted movement."

"Echo Squad, clear to check it out."

"I see something!"

Down on the ground, amid the craters, a single zebra walked among the ashes. And it was THE one.

Those who would place faith in false idols, false ideals, false hopes... cannot harness the true power of belief. Your leaders have abandoned you and yet you band together, clinging to their return as if they would be your saving grace once more. But you will find no grace today, followers of Twilight Sparkle. Your fervor will not save you from my wrath. For I am Zeal.

Although the land beneath him was but blackened ash under his hooves, he walked on it as though it were the same as any other. From the debris, he summoned a spear and shield, still intact and held them before him. He didn't look up into the jaws of the enemy above him, he didn't acknowledge the guns aiming at him and he paid not a bit of attention to the bombs that could easily destroy him. He took the spear in one hoof and struck the shield.

"The hell's that noise?" Dan asked. They all heard it, even miles up in the sky, they still heard it.

*Klam-klam-klam-klam-klam-klam*

"Where's that coming from?" Rainbow asked. She looked at her wing ponies but none of them knew.

*Klam-klam-klam-klam-klam-klam*

"Thbbbbth! Thbb-thbb!!" Fluffle pointed.

"Dan?"

"I see it."

"I think you mean them," Phoenix corrected.

As Dan watched, the zebras began getting up. From underneath the ashes, craters and debris, the zebras began rising and shaking off the dust and dirt. Their injuries, if any of them had any, appeared to have been healed, somehow. They all began to rise and beat their shields with their spears, a steady beat that soon began to grow louder than the engines on the ships.

"HEY!" Dan shouted at the bridge. "Gust! What the heck are you doing?! FIRE!!"

"Oh, right. FIRE!"

"Sir, headset."

"A-again, right, thank you. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

"All batteries, require target!"

The cannons on all three carriers took aim at the zebras again, adjusting for their own movements and that of the targets. But not a single one of them got a single round off.

"Open fire!"

"ZULU!!!"

A flurry of spears flew up at the carriers, faster and higher than anyone could've predicted. Higher and faster than possible. They weren't aimed at any of the pegasi or griffons... they were aimed at the cannons.

"WAIT! DON'T FIRE, DON'T-"

*BOM... BOM-BOM-BOM-BOMBOMBOM-BLAAAM*

A spear had flown into each barrel that had attempted to fire on the zebras again, blocking it. As the cannons tried to fire, their shells exploded inside their barrels, destroying the batteries on the carriers. Shockwaves reverberated through the ships as the cannons each burst into flames, setting the decks on fire.

"Aaaah!"

"Gaah!"

Dan and company were thrown off their feet as the All of My Rage began to list. The ship's alarm klaxons began to blare as griffons and ponies scrambled to put out the flames.

"What the hell was that?!"

"Damage control, all units, damage control!" On the bridge of All of My Rage, Gust and his crew scrambled to react to the counter-attack. "Get those fires out! Helm, get us back in position to return fire! Prepare full-broadside!!"

"Sir, the batteries have been destroyed! We can't return fire!"

Gust slammed his claw on the console. "SON OF A FINCH!!"

The fighter squadrons faired no better. Spears shot up and back down, skewering any pony or griffy unlucky enough to be directly under the zebras.

"GAHH!!"

"MY WING, MY WING!!"

"MEDIC!!! WE NEED A MEDIC, NOW!!!"

"Keep formation!!" Rainbow yelled. "Keep formation or we'll-" A spear smashed into her wing pony, driving the poor mare up and then back down again, impaling her like a swizzle stick through an olive. Rainbow grabbed her wingpony and yelled, "RETREAT! BREAK FORMATION, RETREAT!!" The bloodied spear slid out of her as Rainbow carried her to the nearest ship.

Although, that wasn't a safe place, either. All three carriers were on fire. Pegasi and griffons alike struggled to grab clouds from nearby to put out the fires with rain but the smoke from the barrage was pushing them away. Finally, the Flutterbirds were easy prey for the zebras' spears. Several of them had their wings broken like paper while others were broken in half at their tails. Their squadrons were ripped to pieces, the pilots ejecting before their aircraft crashed into the ground and exploded.

Tuxley and Reginald were doing their best to keep up the fire against the zebras but quickly saw even their darts were not having any effect. Still, they kept up the alternating fire until Tuxley felt a prick on his shoulder. He reached for it and pulled away a dart. It dripped with a fresh, purple potion of some sort that had been injected into him.

"Reginald, does this look like a zebra blowdart to you?"

The crystal pony squinted at it. "I believe it does, sir."

Tuxley touched his claw to the tip and tasted it. "Ah! It's carfentinal! About... thirty-five milligrams, I'd say."

Reginald held up his own dart. "I would say so, sir."

"Ah," Tux nodded. "They got you as well, then?"

"It would appear so, sir."

"Indeed," Tuxley said. "It would appear the zebras have reciprocated most effectively."

"An astute observation, sir."

The reptile then pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. "Such a dosage should put us out for... almost an hour, I'd say," he then turned to his dear friend and asked, "Shall we pass out together?"

"Very good, sir," Reginald nodded. Their heads hit the deck, gentlemen even while incapacitated.

"Divert all power to the engines, get us out of here!!" Gust ordered. "What's the status of the other carriers?!"

"Yes is losing altitude, What is falling back! Both ships have suffered heavy damage!"

"Hail the Yes! Get me their bridge right now!!"

The comms officer took only a moment to patch the other ship in through the speakers. "They're on, sir!"

At first, all Gust heard were alarm sirens. It was like his attack on Ponyville all over again. Finally, a voice cut through the chaos, the XO's. "...eavy, damage, engines*shh-shh-shh*-nding! All controls are *BROM-ksssshhht!!"

Outside, All of My Yes was listing badly. The bridge of each carrier was designed so they could see in all directions, allowing Gust and his crew to see their sister ship's struggles easily. The massive ship's engines fought to keep it in the air in spite of its damage but it wasn't able to stay on course. The port side dipped down while it attempted to regain altitude, sending it in a spiraling, semi-controlled motion. It was still within range of the spears.

Gust pointed frantically. "Grapple them. Grapple them now. NOW."

Harpoons, tow cables, usually used for capturing other ships, began launching at the stranded vessel. Gust had made up his mind: he was not going to lose his carriers to a bunch of tribal invaders with supped-up spears. The other ship launched a few lines of its own, tying both ships together.

"All power to the engines, get us the *squee* out of here!" Gust slumped over the x-sonar station next to the command console. The x-sonar was a specialized mapping and detecting system that he usually used to find out if any ships or structures nearby had anything valuable. The pirate in him wanted very much to fly away, grab the helm and steer for open sky. He knew that part of him was useful but it wouldn't help him now. He needed to be the sky marshal, which meant getting his forces out of danger, no matter how much material they lost in the process.

"Sky Marshal, the What is moving backwards!!"

"What?"

"Aye sir, she's moving in reverse!" his sensor officer cried.

Gust turned around again. The third ship had lines on it as well but they lead all the way to the ground. The zebras had slung rope around their spears, lassoing the All of My What. How wasn't even a question when they were already doing it... the zebras were pulling the ship down to the surface. Even as the ship burned and tried to get away, the horde of black and white beneath them were slowing dragging it to the ground.

"Get... get me a squadron. Do we have any squadrons left?!" Gust asked, desperation deep in his voice. "Tell me we have someone left out there!!" None of them said a word. Whether there was anypony left flying, they didn't know. The griffon's head dipped low.

"Support mode engaged."

Being a weapon designed as a perfect defense, Magic Gear Knight was only able to react to situations. Her programming made her incapable of instigating conflict, just as the CIA's failed Peace Walker program had originally envisioned. She was, however, able to intervene when she detected the ponies on the All of My What were in danger. And she was getting a little help from her pilot.

"It's alright, I got it!" Daring Do said, inside Knight's cockpit. The massive mech lifted off the deck of the All of My Rage, powered by the engines of the MY-Wing that was integrated into its back.

Dan and others were helping to put out the fires when they saw Daring and Knight fly off.

"Does she know how to fly a Magic Gear?" Phoenix asked.

"Knight's doing the flying; I think she's just along for the ride," Twilight said.

"She's getting a ride with MY PLANE!!" Dan yelled. "On MY GIANT ROBOT! Risking both to save MY PONIES and MY GRIFFONS!"

"Dan, just because they surrendered to you and... subsequently swore allegiance to us doesn't mean they're yours," Twilight said. "That's not how it works."

"Yes, it is."

Comments

[LadyLeomon]

First to review for once, YAY! Oh this is gonna be ~good~

Okay, now on with the show *reads start of bombardment* dayum they're really pelting those zebras! Aww Fluttershy got to throw-I mean push a bomb! Aww don't worry Fluffle, we haven't seen Zecora yet so she can be your zebra friend?

Uh *reads Zebras retaliating* ... Oh crap knew it wouldn't be that easy! What the #$@* is going on here?! Oh no, I should have known: ZOMBIE ZEBRAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!

Dude that Zen Zeal is scary, uh go get him Fluffle I'll wait here or maybe throw Jack Sparrow at him or something! Call me when it's time for victory snacks, see ya!

*whispers from inside rock costume* Seriously dude I haz the worries bad right now! Dan will either totally destroy Zen Zeal or break his curse somehow, either way I won't abandon ya, I'll just hide behind something taller ^_^ *misses Zen Zeal walking up from behind*

[CroisSunnyPlay]

Shadow: Okay, I think it's finally time for me to give my opinion on this awesome story.
Man, I love the way you break our thoughts of what's going to happen next, this is what have me hooked to this story!
Pity that I'm not there to help Dan, I could use my most powerful attack on these zebras, the Celestial Pressure! (Completely OP attack of mine)
Oh well, we can't have everything, I guess. Keep up the awesome work and expect me from now on!
P.S. DON'T GIVE UP DAN!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU(R RAGE)!!!

[Razzy]

I knew it, Zeal is clearly using cheat codes.

So, they can always get up? I heard outer space is very enjoyable this time of the year.

I wonder if we'll see GildaSongbird again.

[Booster Spice]

Yup, Zeal is using cheat code 682.

Stick him in a stasis field and stuff him in an isolated pocket universe.

Time travelers are a pain in the backside.

Anyone know who Zeals mother is so she can take his toys off him, give him a spanking and send him to bed without supper to think about what he has done?

I mean, so leave Zeal and the zebras alone, just remove everything else.

[Dustchu]

"Red alert!

I desperately wanna see some references to Red Alert 2 in this story, it would appease me.

Awesome job well done man, sorry for not reading this sooner. Having internet troubles.
This was one heck of a chapter, and lolz to the Blasties XD

Keep it up!

[howard035]

So Zeal and his army have some kind of weird belief-powered magic? Interesting. I suspect they would be equally effective with twigs and blankets as spears and shields, provided the zebras believed in their weapons.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7769258
7773592
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7769662
As I've said before, don't assume anything. Zen Zeal and his follow our theme for villains, representing a form of corrupted idealism. Look at it this way: Vice Grip believes in technological superiority. Advanced societies like the griffons, Enclave and donkeys continued finding bigger and better tools while Equestria mostly eschewed forms of war and seeks better alternatives to peace. Both societal parallels diverged from a single point: tribalism. From rocks and spears, fire and cave paintings to diplomacy(friendship) and artillery(war). Rocks and spears are the beginning form of weapons, fire and communication the first forms of magic.

Zen Zeal and the zebras represent the third, far more terrible and unheard of departure from societal evolution: while other societies advanced to either peace or conquest, the zebras advanced what little they had. They are ruthless xenophobes who have worked with primitive sticks and stones for so long, they learned how to kill tanks and fighter jets with them.

The zebras found out how to beat alicorns through perseverance alone.

[Barrobroadcaster]

7773592 Not unlike the Orks in 40k

[Barrobroadcaster]

7773414 It's okay buddy, always just happy to see you Yes, we very much enjoy writing the twin demolitionists you've provided for us and making them cute and promiscuous.

Also, I did want to write a crossover called Command & Canter: Code Crystal where Twilight went back in time to try and stop the Crystal Empire from ever disappearing and accidentally started a war between Equestria and the Crystal Empire. That idea's probably been done before but you can't beat the title. As for just Red Alert references, I'm pretty sure we added a few Kirovs flying around somewhere. And the corporation FIST is actually a combination: Future Integrations is actually Future Tech from RA3 and Stable-Tec is obviously from FO:E.

[Dustchu]

7773701
Yay! Glad you love those two hehe.

Command & Canter: Code Crystal where Twilight went back in time to try and stop the Crystal Empire from ever disappearing and accidentally started a war between Equestria and the Crystal Empire.

I would read the ever living muffins out of that. Hahaha.

And awesome! Can't go wrong with Kirov or ten, hoho. And really? That's fantastic. This story needs a ponified Tanya... I have seen actual decent pics of one.
Keep up the awesome work dude.

[LadyLeomon]

7773676

Don't think less of me Dan, but I'm really scared now

These buckers beat Celestia and Luna with buckin' spears?! I demand to know how! ... Right after Dan beats them! Lemme know when we get to the winning portion, I'll just be hiding-uh I mean cleaning the inside of my rock costume!

Wait a sec, if the Zebras as a whole are nasty xenophobes then what is Zecora? The odd one out or the most enlightened? If I find out she's a traitor in our midst heads will roll!!!

Like always, love ya Dan and Co and thanks for another fab chapter Barro my main Brony Author!

Go Dan GO!!!

P.S That is an awesome idea for a fimfic and I'm certain you could write the best one ever ^_^

[CarolMAssphault]

I'd personally have had Twilight teleport me right behind Zan before grabbing him and having Twilight teleport us back up to the ship before any of them could react. Then I'd shove my two pointer fingers up his ass. Once focused on grasping at his ass and the pain, I'd end it by hitting him over the head hard enough to knock him out cold. I'm pretty sure that no enemy has tried THAT before. Of course, then it's just a matter of saying and doing things so utterly repulsive in front of him as a captive audience-like stripping, grabbing a plate of spaghetti, and then humping the spaghetti repeatedly while cheering and playing rave music-that he just wants to be anywhere but near me, to the point that he'd be willing to admit defeat and agree to never invade us again.