Plan X Part 1
Barro created Vice Grip. Apart from being the author of this story, not to mention the one writing this right now, he had also designed Vice and Rice. If anyone could stop... whichever one was rampaging right now, it would be him. I mean, I just work for the guy, and as far as narrating jobs go, this one has been pretty-*DRONG*
Rice knocked out the previous narrator with a punch through the fourth wall. Fortunately, we hired backups.
"That's enough, Rice!" Barro declared. The broadcaster stood on the steps of town hall, the first time he had been there when it wasn't for an interview.
"Hahaha, of course," Rice chuckled. "Every sinking ship needs both a captain and an anchor."
"I'm a NEWS anchor, Rice," Barro fired back.
"So it's the same anchor sinking the ratings and the ship. That's probably a first."
"Rrrrg," Barro growled. He unscrewed the bottom of his microphone, pulled out the hidden commlink and keyed it on. "Alright Rice, this is your last chance. If you don't-AAAGGGH!!" Rice fired a blue energy bolt at the broadcaster. The news stallion fell backwards, smoldering.
"Digital killed the video star~, digital killed the video star~" Rice sang, dancing and taunting his fallen creator.
"Fiction came and broke your heart~" Michael added. Rice hadn't noticed him before, that last addition caused the chancellor to look over and glare at him. Michael shrugged, threw the popcorn he'd been eating up in the air and laid down to simulate his defeat.
Rice shook his head and stepped outside the town hall. He had to admire Dan's work on the town. The fortifications were still keeping with the town's aesthetic, they were practical, simple but sound and effective. It was about the most the town had changed since he had been chancellor. And he hated that. He absolutely hated that. Looking at it, seeing something new just so elegantly blend with the town like it had always been part of it... made his blood boil.
His fists balled. Rice didn't hate the fact that the town had changed. He hated the fact that it had taken THIS long for it to finally START to be improved. Ponies had accepted Dan, had accepted his innovations... when they had rejected them a thousand years ago when he first proposed them. And the princess had tried to kill him for it.
He reached the bottom of the steps. "My fellow ponies, hear me! Your chancellor has returned to you," he announced. "I, Rice Puddinghead, hereby reclaim the office of the restored chancellorship of the Earth Pony Tribe."
The other ponies, the entire town was assembled in the town square in front of where the ship had landed. Gust and the griffons had already towed the ship back to Cloudsdale for more repairs, leaving only the massive imprint it left in the street and the ruined buildings of Mane Street that had been flattened by its landing. Not that this wasn't the second time the town had been destroyed. The ponies all reacted to Rice's announcement their own way.
"Chancellor?"
"Earth pony tribe?"
"Pffft, what kind of name is 'Rice Puddinghead'?"
"Uh, the name of the chancellor?"
"Hey, I don't remember voting for him."
"Good point," Rice said, "But does anyone remember voting for Mayor Mare?" The ponies exchanged glances. A few started to raise their hooves, but then quickly thought better. "That's the point, my little public. You used to have elections every few years for a new chancellor. Did any of you wonder why you ever stopped? Why choosing someone to represent your interests simply... ceased?"
Some were intimidated by Rice, others had no idea what the squee he was talking about. And suddenly, the realization came over all of them at once.
"Oh crap!" shouted one of the ponies, "we forgot to vote today!"
"Quickly! To the polls, everypony!"
"Wait- no, stop! The election happened over a thousand-" but Rice's voice was drowned out by the stampede of hooves rushing to the polls. The voting pony public would not be denied, even if everything had been decided over a thousand years ago. "THIS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO DEMOCRACY WHEN YOU LET... STUPID CONTROL IT FOR A MILLENNIUM!"
"Stupidity killed the chancellor star~, stupidity killed~" Michael started singing, until Rice glared at him again. "S-sorry. I'll go now." He dragged Barro to the hospital. "Hey Barro, do you think we'll have time to vote today?"
"Shut... up... Michael..."
Rice pinched his brow. Maybe he just should've stayed as Vice Grip, rather than revealing that it was his son that really had been killed. A thousand years' worth of pain and suffering and he still wasn't truly over his son's death. How could he be? How could any father truly be? But stupidity did not care for sorrow or any other emotion, so why should it care about his problems? Alas, the scientist still did not understand the simple equation that tragedy plus time equaled comedy. Either way, he didn't care that much.
"You know, you're not the first politician to complain about an election that's already happened," Captain America said. He, Chris Redfield and Khan stepped out from behind some convenient rubble to stand in front of him. "In fact, they do it all the time. You may be the first politician ever to complain about your constituents running off to vote, though. Can't say I agree with your strategy."
"Captain America," Rice said in vexed tone, "clearly I see you're adhering to your own nation's policies and meddling in the affairs of others. Considering joining your friend the Winter Soldier and becoming a political assassin?"
"Actually, he's retired from that," Cap replied. "We both just like to lend a hand where we can."
Rice stared him down, fists balled. "Maybe you should both retire. Quit while you're ahead."
Cap shrugged. "Never really been much for shuffleboard."
"Try bowling."
"Or paintball." Cap ducked behind his shield, triggering the first move from Rice. The fingers on the scientist's metal gauntlets turned into laser gun barrels, firing electrified laser bolts at him. They pinged off Cap's shield, deflecting off to to the sides harmlessly. Khan and Chris opened up from behind Cap, firing their weapons at Rice
Rice's shield flashed and sparked as it absorbed bullets and phaser fire. Although he was protected, the sparks obscured his vision, forcing him to try to get a better angle to hit the humans. Cap used the split second Rice wasn't firing to lift up and fling his shield at Rice. The disk spun at him, hit the shield and went right through to bash Rice square in the collar. The force of the blow was so powerful it knocked him off his boots and caused his shield to fail as he landed in the dirt on his back.
True to being an Avenger, Captain America was on Vice Grip within the fractions of a second. His back had barely touched the ground before Cap leaped at him with his shield, ready to bring the full force of it down on his cranium. *CLRANG!*
"Eeeh... ehhgg," Cap winced.
"Captain, you disappoint me," Rice said, gripping Cap's shield with both hands mere centimeters above his head. "Did you really think I wasn't going to be prepared for a frontal attack? Just like America to want to start and end something so quickly, before it's even really began."
Cap groaned. "Was just... buying time... for-"
"For your friends to flank me on either side?" Rice asked, grinning. He looked into Steve's eyes as they widened, delighted by the fear. "Can't say I agree with your strategy."
Rice reached up and grabbed Captain America by the throat. In a single motion, he jumped to his feet. Chris and Khan popped up from either side with their respective weapons, quick to surprise the scientist. But he was already ready for them. He threw Cap at Khan and flung the shield at Chris. The STAR agent's rounds pelted off the vibranium as it spun towards him until it hit him square in the chest, knocking the rifle out of his hands.
Khan tried to dodge Captain America coming down on him, but the other augmented human came slamming down on the Indian Prince's shoulder. Before they could recover, Rice had Chris's gun and shot them all with his non-lethal rounds. They were each incapacitated before the clip ran out. Except for one of them.
Rubberized rounds still hurt like getting bucked in the face. And firing them at such close range would have been lethal despite their name, if each of the men Rice was shooting wasn't an augmented human in such peak physical condition. The effect was like being hit with a jackhammer, riddled with hundreds of rounds, breaking bones and bruising skin before your brain could even react to the pain of being shot. Not a shot penetrated, but it felt horrible just the same.
Cap slowly stood, his face looking like he'd just taking a sledge square in the jaw. His mask was broken at the chin and slowly slid off his head, revealing his messed hair. He slowly raised both of his fists.
"I can... I... I... can..."
"Do this all day?" Rice completed it for him. "I'm sure you could. But I'm busy." He smacked Cap with the rifle's butt, and even that wasn't enough to put Cap back on his knees, so he followed it up with blow after blow after blow until the gun broke in half and he had to push him down. Even then, he started to move again, getting back up.
"Will you stay the buck down?!" Rice yelled. "You're like Dan and Phoenix only with a frisbee!" He held up his gauntlet, prepared to Iron Man Captain America. Steve Rogers stared at the glowing hand, realizing it looked more red and angry than Tony or Rhody's gauntlet.
"I..." his chest strained to breath, "should... tell you."
"What? Another crack at my political career?"
"Kind of," Cap admitted. "But... I wasn't... buying time for Chris and Khan." The ground started to rumble.
Rice's face went slack. "Wut."
"I was buying time for Dan."
A massive avalanche of rock, water and ice, a swirling torrent of destruction streamed over Ponyville and destroyed Mane Street. Plan X had arrived.
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This last episode is finally coming to a close. Also, I might have found an editor. Don't worry- he'll just be doing touch-ups here and there, nothing and no segment will be removed, so your reading was still worth it
And thank you very much for reading! I hope it managed to be fun!
Have had a cracking headache all day after attending a wedding yesterday (I swear to both Phoenix and Mr Tuxley it had nothing to do with booze all I had was fruit juice!) so now I can relax and chill out with the newest episode of Dan and-oh right, Dan's out for this chapter ... Crikey am I first today? Anyway:
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~
now lemme see n'ere *dons reading glasses*
What the-he can't do that can he? Attacking the other main characters is one thing (he is the main boss of the story (unless Director Cleo decides she's had enough of this crap too) but still! He can't do that can he?! Breaking through the Fourth Wall to attack the Narrator! This is some Deadpool/Pinkie Pie level shenanigans here! Smash him upside the solar plexus with that shield of yours Stevie
Ohh *squee* is about to get real now! He dares to attack the honourable Mr Barro and dear sweet Michael?! Off with his head! C'mon Steve, Khan and Chris! Show you're worthy of being upgraded to the main roster and not just side characters!
Aaaaand they got owned by the Frankenpony ... Ohhh! Clever boy Stevie! You can haz all the cookies
Now to sit back, relax and await the glorious reveal of Plan X!!!
Now for my favourite quotes:
Now sure if I should be more *squee*ed off at our beloved Narrator was taken out through the (usually) unbreakable Fourth Wall or impressed at Mr Author's foresight
Oh you done bucked up now pal! The Creator is about to kick your sorry flank all the way to the 'failed ideas' bin!
Just ... so much ... GRRR!!! He disrespected our honourable author and I shall have his head as an early Christmas gift to said Mr Author!
I swear on the Horn of the Fausticorn if he touches my dear Michael I'm going to smash through the Fourth Wall myself and I'll aim for the throat!
Gawd bless these idjuts who forgot to vote! (Under normal circumstances thought voting is important! Always use your vote people!)
Mr Barro is strong enough to tell Michael to staple it shut? Oh thank gawd he's gonna recover! I was really scared there
Oh for crap sake Cap! Why are you talking the bad guy instead of beating him up?!
Now this chump is making fun of the Marvel Universe?!
Bash his brain guts in Stevie!
He insulted Dan, Phoenix and Cap in one line of dialogue?! How is this allowed?!
And with that final line of dialogue, Vice Grip (Sr) knew he done donked up! (Ode to Adventure Time, how I'll miss you ...)
This right here makes me wish the next week away! Plan X! Plan X!
Phew and that's everything I loved (most) about this chapter! And like always I'll be eagerly awaiting the next instalment to see what exactly Plan X is and what ratio of weapon to revenge will be used!
Like always thank you for making my weekend and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan
^_^
Surfin Equestre-i-ay?
Did they get a Windigo to freeze the surface of the reservoir then cryofracture the dam?
Or did they just paint it the colour of an Apple Barnes?
Especially gotta watch Equestrias fourth wall, that poor thing has more holes in it than a screen door... Pinkie Pie, looking at you deary...
Well done as always, uh, speaking of ice, Barro do you need some? I'm cleaning out the freezer, plenty of ten year old frozen peas if you need them...
~$
Rip that fourth wall
hehehehe
Good show Barro
I like that line about only a few people voting for Mayor Mare, it makes me imagine her as a Joe Quimby-esque figure.
i.redd.it/w2ruk4o1w47z.jpg
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Remember that Vice/Rice had Applejack and Pinkie hostage for a while. He has obviously discovered their powers, as ominous as that is.
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We'll see soon, Boost. That reservoir idea though... hmm...
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Thanks guys, I'll be fine. Specifically, the 'Barro' in this story is... not quite the same as me. Not quite in the way you're probably thinking. We'll see.
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I was actually kind-of going for Adam West with Mayor Mare. She's very distrusting for some reason. But unlike Adam who was Batman, Mayor Mare's just cracking under the pressure. Maybe it's not entirely her fault, though.
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.