Episode 17: A Last Resort- Dan Vs. The Seaponies
Presented in Stereo
Somewhere in the Pacific...
Gilligan wasn't exactly sure what he was doing, but he was sure it was important. He knew it was important because the Professor told him specifically it was important, so it had to be important. Even if he had no idea what it was.
"Gilligan! Gilligan!" The Skipper's voice came from the jungle, accompanied by the usual sounds of him making his way through the tropical underbrush. "Where are ya, little buddy? Say something!"
"Over here, Skipper."
"Gilligan, have you seen my tools? I left them on my workbench last night and now they're-" he stopped. "What are you doing with my tools?"
"Oh, uh, I'm working on something for the Professor. He said he needed my help making an antenna."
"So you're making them out of my tools?!"
Gilligan nodded. "Sorry, Skipper. There's not a lot of materials to work with, so I had to borrow them."
"Borrow them? You're just borrowing them?"
He nodded again, still working diligently.
"And exactly how were you going to return my tools when you're turning them into some kind of contraption?!"
Gilligan held up a hand to stop him. "I only work on one problem at a time, Skipper." *Laugh track*
"Uggh," Skipper groaned. "Well, what's it going to be an antenna for? The radio?"
"No."
"A signal beacon?"
"No."
"A rescue transmitter?"
"No."
"Well then what the heck is it for, Gilligan?!"
Gilligan shook his head. "I don't know, Skipper. We haven't built the rest of it yet." *Chuckle track*
Skipper sneered. "And how exactly are you going to build anything else when you're using the tools as an antenna?"
The first mate turned to his long-time friend with a knowing look in his eyes. "We have to start somewhere, Skipper." The Skipper swapped him with his cap. *Laugh track*
"Uh huh. And what are you going to do next?"
He held up his hand again. "One problem at a time, Skipper." *Laugh track, horizontal screen flip transition*
Minutes later, Gilligan and the Skipper arrived on the other side of the island. Ginger and Mary Ann were building a sand castle that looked exactly like Canterlot. Thurston Howell III, the 'Millionaire' was very busy lounging while Professor Roy Hinkley, Ph D was tinkering with a large crate of bamboo.
"Professor! Professor!"
"Ah, Captain, good to see you. Oh, and Gilligan. Done already? Errm, what's that junk?"
Gilligan shook his head, holding up his invention with one hand. "This isn't junk, professor- this is the antenna you wanted me to build."
The Professor sighed. "Gilligan, I told you we needed to build it with the tools, not to build it OUT of the tools." *Laugh track*
"Oh," Gilligan said, setting it down. "That does seem to make more sense. Sorry Professor. And uh, sorry Skipper." *Chuckle track.*
Skipper rolled his eyes. "So, you're the one who put him up to this, professor?"
"Oh, yes but this whole idea was actually Mr. Howell's."
As if on cue, Mr. Howell looked over to the both of them. "Haha, hello Gilligan! Skipper!"
"Mr. Howell, what's this all about? Why have you got Gilligan and the Professor working for you?"
"Ah, well it's almost time, my boys," Howell said, getting up as they approached. "Is this the antenna? Ah, yes, good, good job, Gilligan." He accepted the cobbled-together contraption from Gilligan.
"What do you need it for, Mr. Howell?"
The Millionaire went over to the bamboo crate and flipped it over, revealing it to be a giant television set. He fixed the "antenna" atop it. "To watch Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship, of course!" The t.v tuned in to a broadcast of Equestria with surprisingly good quality for a television mad of bamboo. "Pull up a chair, you boys have earned a rest."
The castaways gathered around Mr. Howell's lounge chair to see the latest episode, Mr. Howell leaning back in sheer indulgence.
"Hey Skipper," Gilligan asked as the intro came to a close, "How are we going to get your tools back now?"
The Skipper leaned over, eyes on the screen. "One problem at a time, little buddy. One problem at a time." *Laugh track, fade out.*
"Hahaha, read 'em and weep, kids. The high hand," Dan declared, setting his cards on the table.
"The high hand?" Twilight asked, skeptically.
"Yeah, wouldn't it be the high hoof? Because we're in Equestria?" Spike asked.
"High whatever. The point is, none of you are beating this one. Might as well just fold it up."
"Really?" Twilight asked, rubbing her chin. "Because even according to the rules you told us, I don't think this is a winning hand."
"What? Of course it is. That's just the luck of the draw, Twilight."
"This is really the high hand?" Twilight asked, looking at the cards. "It's pair of sevens."
Dan shrugged. "Luck of the draw."
"Well, before you go cashing out, maybe we should see what everyone else's hands are first."
All around the table, most of the others folded. Blast Fuse and Blast Powder were making a house of cards, then subsequently trying to blow up that house of cards with tiny card-bombs. "I call this bomb Kevin Spacey!"
Powdy shook her head. "Fuse, too soon. Like, seriously, just too soon."
"There is no time like the present, Powdy."
"It's still-"
"NO TIME!"
Chrys and Fluffle Puff also folded. "I'm just happy I got to be in the game."
"Thppp thpppbb thppth thbbbb." This game is rigged.
Finally, Gust Grasp held up his cards in front of his beak. "I thinff I goth a frush," he said through bits of scone.
"A frush? What the *squee* is a frush?" Dan walked around to him and looked over his shoulder, the griffon showing him his cards. "Oh. Well, I got two sevens and you see, two sevens beats a 'frush.'"
"Ahh, thank you," Gust said, nodding.
Dan took the griffon's cards for himself, burying them and the evidence under the deck. "Easier than Takashi." While Dan 'cleaned up,' the other humans were enjoying other recreational activities in the living room. Phoenix, Cap and Chris were watching Marksaline play Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 as Phoenix.
"I didn't think you were in this one, Nick."
"I... I wasn't. At least, not according to my contract." (Is this a hack or something? A mod? What are we even looking at?)
"But one of many Phoenixes named Wright."
At the same time, Khan, Tuxley and Reginald sat across from each other in the recliners flanking the couch. Although they appeared to be enjoying the 'finer things' at the moment, their eyes were fixated upon each other.
"You are a cultured... specimen... are you not, Mr. Tuxley?"
"I endeavor to culture myself, if that is what you mean, your highness," Tuxley responded. The reptile pressed his claws together in the shape of a pyramid, his inquisitive eyes on Khan. It had been two weeks since Dan had rescued the CMC and Captain America, Chris Redfield and, most surprisingly of all Khan, had moved in with them. Despite his well-known villainous past, he had yet to display any of his past nature recently. Not yet, anyway.
"I must confess, you have me at something of a disadvantage. Having my... less-than-finer exploits immortalized in film has given you the burden of preconception about me," Khan said, leaning forward. "But I know nothing of you."
Tuxley nodded in acknowledgment, not sympathy. "If one wishes to know of something, one must ask, your highness."
"And I would not call it a burden," Reginald added. "I'd call it... insight."
"Reginald," Tuxley shot him a glance.
"Apologies."
Khan smiled, holding up his hands in mock defense. "No, no, I would expect nothing less. You are right to prejudge me. Or at least, the man I was."
Oh, there it was. Tuxley knew it from the moment he began his overly-dramatic gesture: Khan was trying to play them. The reptile now knew for almost certain that Khan was going to take the opportunity to make him seem like he had been 'redeemed' only to betray them later. This was the start. Out from the corner of his eye, he saw Reginald glancing back at him and he knew his compatriot was well aware as well.
"The man you were, Mr. Singh? Whatever do you mean?"
"The man I was, Mr. Tuxley," Khan said, his smile growing slightly brighter, "was indeed not a man to be trusted. But did this man not have a motive, a reason for him not to be trusted? A singular passion which had consumed him, making him who and what he was? Driving him, in a way."
"Driving him to insanity," Tuxley said bluntly. He leaned forward. "And now you will claim this man is dead. Yet here sits a man, already of which you bear no grudge for prejudging, yet you wish for some reprieve from condemnation. If this is indeed the same man, how am I not to suspect the same driving force? Tell me, Mr. Khan, what is it that drives you now?"
Khan shrugged, spreading his hands softly, gently. "Mr. Tuxley, Mr. Reginald, all three of us are in our own ways relics from another time. But this is a new world for all of us, myself included. I have abandoned what you have seen of me in the film in which it was captured. Now, I have been given a second chance. I don't wish to waste it. Atonement may not be possible, but surely, advancement is."
Tuxley held up his claw. And now, he was smiling. "If I may be so bold, Mr. Khan, but it seems you have taken the opportunity to prejudge me. I'm afraid I must correct you; I did not claim to be a relic. I only work with them," he smirked. "Second, atonement is always a possibility and both atonement and advancement can take many forms. Finally, you ended your last sentence on a preposition."
Khan's smile faded. "I appreciate the... lesson, Mr. Tuxley. However, you seem to be suggesting that I do my best to correct myself at all times."
The reptile stood, victor in this battle of wits. "I'm suggesting you be mindful of your actions, Mr. Khan. A first step towards both advancement and atonement is to be more mindful." He walked over to Dan and the others.
"So once again, why does two sevens beat every hand?"
The entire rest of the group sighed. "Because you're Dan."
Dan nodded. "Exactly. And being me, you auto-win."
"I can be you," Chrys said happily. "And it's really fun to be you, too." Dan covertly shot her a glance telling her to keep her voice down on that piece of information. She nodded once, understanding.
"Is that some kind of Dan-privilege?" Fuse asked.
Dan shook his head and replied simply, "Luck of the draw, Fusey. Luck of the draw."
"Fluffle Puff's eating the cards again," Spike said.
"Eh, she has to get her fiber some way."
"I thought she got it from ham."
"Ham, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, what's your point?"
"These aren't Yu-Gi-Oh cards..."
"Tuxley! Get over here and change the subject for us," Dan exclaimed.
The reptile approached quietly, eyes firmly on Dan and the others. "We must watch Khan. I don't believe he is trustworthy at this time."
"I watch everyone and I don't trust anyone. Both of those bases are already covered."
"Dan," Tux leaned forward, "I am serious. He's hiding something- his motives and possibly more."
"Awww. You're sure we can't be friends with him? He seems like such a nice space nazi." Twilight and Tuxley responded to Dan's comment with glares. "Alright, fine. Like I needed another reason to distrust someone anyway."
Just then, the front door to the house opened. Rainbow Dash, Derpy and Daring Do flew overhead.
"Excellent," Dan said, clapping his hands. "Flygirls, give me the good news. Have we found the kingdom of sea ponies?"
"Well, almost," Rainbow said, spreading a map on the table over slobered-on cards. "We've narrowed it down between some point between the east coast of Equestria... and Bangclop."
"Bangclop?" Twilight asked, drawing a couple snickers from the Blasties. "That's clear on the other side of the globe."
Daring Do removed her pith helmet. "My records aren't exactly as up to date as I'd like them to be. It's been hard, but using this map should at least let us chart a course and scan an area between here and Banclop."
Tuxley looked at the map. "I believe I may be of some assistance. If we were to use this map along with-" Something shook the house. A rumble pierced the walls, short but strong.
"Cannons. Cannon fire," Twilight said. "We're under attack."
"Red alert! Red alert, battle stations!!" Dan yelled. "Find out who it is and find out who's flank we need to kick!"
"Dan!" Gust said, managing to get all their attention. They whipped around to see the griffon holding a communicator. "I just got a call from Clutch."
"And?"
"They're here. It's the sea ponies."
In that instant, Khan was walking over to join them just in time to hear everything. He smiled. "Might I be of some assistance?"
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You've never seen Gilligan's Island?
Wow, I thought you did, you actually did it pretty well above, I love that show! <3 So I'm happy you went with that one, hehehe xD
Good show! Good show! <3
Something with submarines? The Day The Earth Caught Fire? Seaquest DSV? Stingray? though the actings a bit wooden.
If you want to go Relics, old man, you could always look up some of the gear Cussler uses. Especially the Abyssal Tractor that I cant say any more about because its a major plot point in one o the books.
I thought Dan had the library defenses rigged so that even when powered down they were in passive standby, cameras still watching, mics still listening, minefield registering footfall, just not detonating? Or is ths like the Griffins, its a ballistic impact so that Is the warning they got when point defenses stopped it just before it hit?
Well at least you don't need to search for them.
Oy vey, I really needed my weekly dose of Dan this weekend ... after a few weeks of worrying over various kitty problems, first an eye infection, then an open wound and lastly an inflamed ear tip each on a different cat, we've got things under control (knock on wood) and to top it all off I've caught myself one annoying cold
but reading this as I'm chilling at night cheers me up a bunch, thank you Dan and Friends (and you of course Dan-tastic Author)! Now moving on:
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~
and I'm already feeling much better! Now lemme see here *dons reading glasses*
... Gilligan's Island? Crikey this takes me back! Not to the actual show mind, I saw the animated version on CN waaay back in the day! I seem to remember the Professor figuring out the island was sinking (very slowly) into the sea at one point ... but of course as with so many cartoons of the 80s/90s it ended via cancellation rather than the series concluding. Moving on:
Nothing says 'we are not worryi about the next Campaign yet' like a card game between friends! Hehe oh don't these guys (and gals) know yet? Dan will always find a way to win, be it against Frankenpony or in a game against friends
Yeah ... I don't like this Khan guy ... OHHHHHH! Khanny just got schooled by the superior intellect of Mr Tuxley (with a timely assist from Mr Reginald)! Brava gents! Brava
Oh hi Marksy! I was wondering where she went-Hold on! For a second I thought they were on about the Phoenix played by Jean Grey. Are you telling me Phoenix as in Nicky is kicking butt in this MvC game? Is his "Objection!" stance his ultimate attack? I like this very much
Now for my favourite quotes:
Twilight, sweetie? Dan won, stop being a sore ~loser~ and accept it, not very Princess-like
8588214
Happy as always you loved it sweetheart. Thanks for reading as always! Always!
I'm sorry about your kitty, I hope they get well soon. And yes, Khan or Khannie as Dan calls him now is Khan from Wrath of Khan. Dan's entirely original quote "Revenge is a dish best-served immediately!" is actually based on a quote from Khan from that same movie. In essence, Khan is somewhat of a modern day father figure of revenge itself... so both he and Dan have something in common. Very curious, isn't it? Just where am I going with all this?
Cheetah!
But, but, he seems so trustworthy!
Never seen Gilligan's Island either.
Now we need a Baywatch intro.
MLP has already shown us what happens when you're exposed to extreme Canada-ness: You turn Crystal on the outside.