Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Rad: A Classic Witch's Brew

"So why is there a riot?"

That was the question Phoenix asked. Dan just figured that it was a prison, so a riot wasn't unexpected. He'd started a few riots, both intentionally and not, and was more used to being a part of them rather than shutting them down.

"Remember that little power issue I said we'd been having?" Samule asked.

"Yes, and we're still sorry about that," Phoenix said. The group equipped themselves with riot gear- body armor mostly, and the gear was clearly meant for donkeys only. The standard riot armor looked like it had been crudely adapted from Fallout: New Vegas... because it had. The only difference were the helmets, which were more cylindrical and bucket-shaped.

"Hey, you fended off Vice Dickhead's dog thugs, you did good in my book," Dan said. As it put back on his shoe, he noticed one of the foodimals, the hot dog foodimal, had somehow managed to follow them. The creature innocently walked up to him and began licking his shoe.

Samule L. Jackson looked over his shoulder at Dan. "Keep that thought in mind." He waited for them to finish gearing up before taking the center of the room. "I don't know what you all have heard about this place, but only the worst of the worst are sent here. The further down you go, the worse it gets, and no one goes to the very bottom."

"What exactly has gone on?" Dan asked.

Samule unfurled a map and took to pointing at it with the hilt of his saber. "This is the Bursavis Prison Complex. It's called Complex for a reason."

"I've seen prisons like this before. Beyond maxsec. You're not just containing criminals here- you've got biological containment units," Chris Redfield said. "This armor is specced to prevent contamination and infection. So the question is, what exactly are you keeping here?"

"And how did it escape?" Doctor Whooves asked.

"As I said- the worst of the worst," Samule said. His voice was nothing but serious. "Your friend Barro hit the complex with some sort of orbital blast, punched right through the surface. I have no idea what it broke, but nastiness I don't even want to describe has been spewing out ever since."

"What kind of 'nastiness'?" Dan asked.

Samule looked up at him. "You'll see," was his only reply. Which ticked Dan off, but Samule wasn't someone even Dan could really argue with.

The donkey pointed at the complex again. "The prison is divided into four sections."

"Just like the rest of the country," Whooves commented. Samule looked up at him. "Sorry, sorry. You can go ahead."

"We've lost power in all but one- this one. Power normally comes through the rail lines from our four major cities but since the damn dogs attacked, the lines have been disconnected. Without power, the cell doors, the locks, the defenses, the lights- nothing works," Samule explained.

"So why do we have power here?" Dan asked. As he did, the lights flickered.

Samule glared at him. "There are four backup generators in each of the four complex hubs- arrayed out here. That orbital strike took us down to one working backup. I need you to get to the backup generators and reactivate them, repair them, do whatever it takes to get them back on before the prison gets overrun."

The prison complex was shaped like a diamond with four rounded points. Each point was a control station for the prison as well as an intake/processing center, a guard post, armory and staging area. The entire complex itself was the size of a large city; Ponyville could've fit easily inside the points along with Cloudsdale and room to spare. In the center of the prison was the main yard, a massive formerly-enclosed area encircled by the prison. Barro's orbital shot had hit the prison dead-center, punching a hole through to the lower levels and further disrupting power systems.

In truth, the prison complex was the 'mouth' of the Spiral Staircase, the Donquestrian space-launching cannon. Cells were built underneath the main prison yard and well inside and beneath the walls. Very literally, the entire prison was inside the cannon itself. The four control points were originally the controls for the cannon, which maneuvered inside the colossal bowl which served as its housing.

"So you basically need us to replace some fuses. Is that it?"

"In layman's terms," Samule said, standing up. He was a tall donkey. "The generators are on top of each of the hubs. You'll want to avoid going through the main yard, though."

Dan stood up. "And why is that?"

"That would be where most of the nastiness is currently. Mostly," Samule said. He got up himself and ignited his traditional Mace Windu-style taser-saber. Half taser, half lightsaber, it served to make the intimidating donkey that much more intimidating. "I can't spare any more men to get the power back on. Do it as quickly as possible and maybe, MAYBE we have a chance of saving what's left of the planet."

"Right," Dan clapped his hands, looked down at the map, and then looked back up at the gang. "We forgot to ask him where Tartarus is."

Smash cut to Dan exploding out of the door to the armory yelling, "SAMMY! SAMMY, WAIT!" But Samule was running back the other way.

"RUN, DUMBASS, RUN- GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE NOW!!"

Dan turned back around just in time to see something that almost, ALMOST caused him to pause, but thankfully didn't quite stop him. At first, it seemed like the walls of the prison had somehow caved in and transformed into a thick liquid that was rushing towards him, but then, he realized it was something else. A dark, purple sludge rushed towards him. Phoenix and Cap had time to see it and pull him back in and shut the door before it rushed past them.

"What the hell is that shit?"

Classic Corrosive Consuming Corrupting Chemical Concoction
The Smooze(G1)
The Original Witch's Brew

Something bad is back again
Sure has been a long time since then
But hardcore fans still remember when
It was Equstria's fight to lose!

We may have been gone quite a while
But we're back and coming down the aisle!
It's time to scream, there's no time to smile!
Because NO-THING CAN STOP
The Smooze!

This here Smooze is number-one
Made with proper ingredients by the tonne!
No since even tryin' to run!
From our deadly slimy fun!

You might say we've held a grudge
Passed over, forgotten and completely misjudged!
But we're back with our favorite sludge
On that we'd never budge!

Centuries, we've had to toil
Watching other villains' plots foiled
But if it's one thing that never spoils,
It's our favorite ooze!

So now we invite our pony foes!
And those humans they brought along, because anything goes!
Dan and friends better hide and cover your nose!
Because NO-THING CAN STOP
THE SMOOOOOOOZE!!!

"Huh huh, I'm back!"

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Yup, Nothing can stop the Smooze.

Freeze it and keep it magnettically suspended in a vaccuum.

Great on a planet, as long as you have power for refrigeration etc.

Otherwise, how do you get it off the planet given it eats everything, including magic?

[Barrobroadcaster]

10048986
He's a master manipulator, a pathological liar and a deluded, egotistical madman. He even lies to himself but ultimately, is incredibly intelligent and one of the smartest scientific minds Equestria has ever seen. He's plagued by his emotional side, which has been unable to reconcile things.

He's loosely based on villains like Liquid Ocelot from Metal Gear Solid, Dr. Eggman from Sonic, and he and the Director are a reference to the song Eleanor Rigby from the Beatles' 1 album.

[howard035]

Great to see the Smooze again. Classic grey goo apocalypse scenario, and its even immune to harmony magic. I suppose a coordinated wing blast from the entire hive of reformed changlings might stop it (since reformed changlings are basically Flutterponies) but I have no idea where the swarm is.

[LadyLeomon]

I don’t have long this time, no idea why but I’m pretty much running on fumes right now, sure I’m ready for sleep but that’s not it, not when a new chapter is involved! (I suspect I’ve been infected by whatever is ailing other members of my family ... cursing Arceus straight to the Distortion World if this is the case! But I will review before I retreat to my den for rest, this is my duty as a loyal Dansciple! So with that in mind:

A new Chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*

Mr Samule L. Jackson is still with us-holy crap you actually gave him a Mace Windu-style weapon?! Thank you!!! I’ve been having a Star Wars crisis lately, basically rethinking my opinion of all the Jedi (they’re not nice people when you read some of the crap they did) and the only thing stopping me from hating Mace Windu completely is Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal o the character ... I’m shallow I know!

I’ve never really paid attention to the Fallout franchise before, but the references I read here keep tempting me to look it up and I’m gonna do it!

That tune ... so familiar ... Omaigawd ... it really is a new cover of the Smooze song! You keep finding new ways to breathe new life into old favourites, I wish I had your talent to do! But since I don’t I’ll hit tip my hat to-uh wait a sec please! *Moves offscreen, buys dark blue hat that matches my Trainer in Pokémon Sword then returns with it on head* I repeat: I take my hat off to you Mr Barro!

One last thing: no idea if this was your intention but the moment you mentioned “diamond” I immediately imagined White Diamond from Steven Universe popping up and Dan breaking her when she tried to mind-control him!

Now for my Favourite Quotes:
(BRB Pinkie Promise!)

Phew that’s everything I love (most) about this week’s chapter and I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next.

Thank you for this newest chapter, this past week was a special kind of exhausting so reading this really helped me chill.

Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^

[Razzy]

I wonder what does it taste like.