Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

Broke: New Pegas

It took just over a week to turn Gust's carriers into a single, floating casino. Roughly the size of Cloudsdale now, the new ship was a city of its own. If they couldn't bring the griffons and their plundered loot to Las Pegas, they would bring Las Pegas to them. Almost immediately after New Pegas was constructed, it set aerial sail for the border in the Equestrian north.

Passing by the remains of the Crystal Empire had a somber, sobering effect on all of them. But there were no ponies in the crew, at least not visually. The ponies who volunteered to join in the scheme, mostly earth ponies, were disguised as zebras or donkeys. The griffons being suckered in could suspect nothing.

Dan, Chrys, Twilight, Phoenix and Spike were all disguised as well.

"SUGAR CUBE CORNER IS-" Rainbow Dash and Rarity had to restrain Pinkie Pie from yelling. Unfortunately, Sugar Cube Corner being closed had been very traumatizing to the pink party pony.

"I'm sorry," Pinkie said. "My usual Pinkie-self is... not... itself... right now. And I don't know what I'm gonna do about it."

"To be fair, you don't like yourself either, Pinkie. None of us do," Rainbow said. She was right; even the Mane 6 were disguised as zebras. Though, to be fair, their personalities did plenty of shining through. Rainbow's painted zebra-stripes were a rainbow of colors, naturally, and Pinkie had more pink in her. Rarity's stripes were patterned, Fluttershy was wearing a suit with the hood wrapped tightly around her muzzle. And, for whatever reason, Applejack was wearing her hat.

"I don't think ANY of you realize what a good disguise is supposed to be. Let's just hope the griffons aren't hard to fool," Dan said.

"I'll admit this is not my best work, but we did run out of body paint rather quickly," Rarity said.

Dan turned to her, teeth gritted. "You still managed to make your own coat as fashion-y as possible. Unlike your OTHER previous disguises we used!"

"Dearie," Rarity raised a hoof, "if you didn't think those other disguises were fashionable, you obviously weren't looking close enough."

"I'm going to throw you off of this thing if the plan fails. OPEN THE DOORS!!"

Gust's pirates pulled open the gates. New Pegas was more than just a casino in the sky; it was four casino-hotels, massive concourse with plenty of valet parking, street vendors, gift shops, a bar and grill in the center and plenty of neon lights, searchlights and all the glitz and glamor of the Las Vegas strip. Or at least one guy and a bunch of ponies who played New Vegas and built their best approximation.

Yes, the Enclave and their love of all things Fallout: Equestria(and by extension, the Fallout franchise itself) were more than happy to help design a real New Pegas. Although not an exact replica, as the layout of the casinos placed The Tops and Gamorrah facing opposite each other with a giant fountain in between them. The Ultra-Luxe, the swankiest casino of the group, was placed behind all the others at the aft of the floating complex. The control center, modeled after the Lucky 38 was placed in the middle of the concourse between the Ultra-Luxe and the fountain.

"I think we did a good job with everything," Phoenix commented.

"Ever been to Vegas, Nicky?"

"Yes, actually."

"Then you know this doesn't look a DAMN thing like Las Vegas!"

Phoenix rubbed his neck. "I know, but it still looks nice. I doubt the griffons have been to Vegas and besides, this is more of an honest con than we're used to pulling. They obviously know they'll lose their money here."

"Yessss. Obvioussss," Dan said, teeth still tightly clenched. New Pegas was only part of the con. "Hit the lights! Searchlights, spotlights, floodlights, neon lights, switch it all on!"

The casinos lit up. The night sky was suddenly illuminated as New Pegas became a massive beacon in the skies above northern Equestria. The casino doors opened. There was only one thing left to set the stage.

Dan raised his hand. "AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... cue the Dean!"

"Dean?" Twilight asked. "What dean?"

"Dean Domino or Dean Martin?" Captain Springer asked. She was high up in the control booth of the "Bucky" 42, which made Dan's eyes roll for more than one reason but really, what can you expect?

"Dean MARTIN, you green dork! Kick in the Head plays every time you're at the strip the first time, c'mon! You're supposed to know this!"

"It was just a question, sheesh. We've got both on vinyl thanks to Vinyl."

"Ummm, I don't have Dean Martin," Vinyl Scratch said.

"WHAT?!" Dan exclaimed from down below.

Vinyl shrugged. "Times are tight, Danny-O."

"Don't call me that."

"I incorporated more human music at WubWay but times have been really tight for us. I can't afford to keep as many records as I could right now."

Dan ran ALL the way up to the top of the not-Lucky 38.

"Howdy strang-AAGH!" Dan even pushed over Victor the Securitron as he made his way up. Not an exact replica but the actual Victor. Fortunately, Yes-Man was not in the picture since Owlowiscious had disposed of him.

"We're opening a Vegas-style... Vegas and you DIDN'T get any Dean Martin?!?!"

Vinyl smiled apologetically and nervously. "Hey hey hey, I DID bring some Dean. Lemme play it right now!" She levitated a vinyl record to the turntable(the retro bass cannon un-cannoned) and played it.

"Now, I've known Dean for years and I've heard people say that if he didn't have his singing career, he wouldn't have a career at all. But I know that's just not true."

"What the hell is this?" Dan asked. The sound was being pumped all throughout the intercoms and PA system of New Pegas, but it wasn't music.

"For one, if he lost all his hair, I'm sure he'd make a great Don Rickles."
*laughter*

"Uhh, this is a Dean Martin celebrity roast," Phoenix said.

"Hahaha, that's funny! I love a good roast!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Applejack pretended to look around. "I don't smell anything cooking." Her five other best friend mares turned frowns to her. "I can make jokes too, thank you very much."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

Twilight was forced to catch Vinyl before she hit the ground.

"Heyy, thanks Twilight."

"You're welcome." What Twilight didn't catch was the vinyl record Dan threw from the balcony, immediately after he threw the Vinyl Scratch from the balcony.

"Guys," Spike said, walking up from the main gates. "I don't mean to bother Dan while he's... deliberating, but there's something else we're missing for this scam."

"What's that?"

Spike sighed. "Where are the other griffons? The ones we're trying to swindle?"

"Oh crap," Twilight said. "Dan, get down here!"

"One second!"

Two quick flashes of purple light in rapid succession, Twilight teleported herself to the control room and then teleported herself and Dan back down again. He was holding Octavia above him.

"AAAAaaaaa- oh, hi, Twilight."

"Stop throwing ponies," Twilight said. "New problem: the targets have not arrived. How exactly are you planning on luring the griffons here?"

Dan grinned. "Allow me to show you."

"If you take your pants off, I am going to throw YOU off this thing, Dan."

Dan brushed off the clearly false threat. "You say that, but we both know Rainbow will catch me."

"It's true. I like Dan and it's my instinct to catch people that are falling and screaming."

"Uhh, why didn't you catch ME then, dude?" Vinyl asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I was getting a churro! Sheesh, can't expect one mare to do it all."

"Did you get me a churro at least?"

"You didn't tell me you wanted a churro."

"Will you BOTH shut up about churros?" Twilight asked. "...dammit I want a churro now, too."

"NO CHURROS UNTIL AFTER WE GET OUR MONEY BACK!" Dan shouted, and forced them all to follow him.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

No Flank either?

[LadyLeomon]

A new chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ and I’m first today? My Weekend Yays have been doubled! Now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*

Okay, Ponified-Vegas Scam is a-go-go! :Pinkie Happy:

Wait ... where are the Griffins?

Now for my Favourite Quotes:

"I don't think ANY of you realize what a good disguise is supposed to be. Let's just hope the griffons aren't hard to fool," Dan said.

"I'll admit this is not my best work, but we did run out of body paint rather quickly," Rarity said.

Dan turned to her, teeth gritted. "You still managed to make your own coat as fashion-y as possible. Unlike your OTHER previous disguises we used!"

"Dearie," Rarity raised a hoof, "if you didn't think those other disguises were fashionable, you obviously weren't looking close enough."

"I'm going to throw you off of this thing if the plan fails. OPEN THE DOORS!!"

Celestial dammit Rarity! Function over fashion at times like this!

"Stop throwing ponies," Twilight said. "New problem: the targets have not arrived. How exactly are you planning on luring the griffons here?"

Dan grinned. "Allow me to show you."

"If you take your pants off, I am going to throw YOU off this thing, Dan."

Dan brushed off the clearly false threat. "You say that, but we both know Rainbow will catch me."

Serious question: was it Phoenix or Twilight that said they were going to throw Dan? Cos I don’t think Twilight saw the last time Dan uses the Full Moon attack on the Zebras (Also I love Dashy and Dan’s little moment here!)

"It's true. I like Dan and it's my instinct to catch people that are falling and screaming."

"Uhh, why didn't you catch ME then, dude?" Vinyl asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I was getting a churro! Sheesh, can't expect one mare to do it all."

Simmer down there Vinyl, you’re not a main character just yet!

"Did you get me a churro at least?"

"You didn't tell me you wanted a churro."

"Will you BOTH shut up about churros?" Twilight asked. "...dammit I want a churro now, too."

"NO CHURROS UNTIL AFTER WE GET OUR MONEY BACK!" Dan shouted, and forced them all to follow him.

... Double-damn you Twilight now I want a churro! And I have no clue what a churro is! Help me out here Google ... ah triple-dammit now I REALLY want one!

Phew and that’s every I love (most) about this week’s chapter and I’ll eagerly await the next!

Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~

Your Eternal Fan ^_^