• Published 12th Aug 2013
  • 27,993 Views, 4,135 Comments

Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) - Barrobroadcaster



The story of a man named Dan and all his friends in Equestria.

  • ...
100
 4,135
 27,993

PreviousChapters Next
Rad: Off-Target

"Dan... Dan!" Cap yelled. "Can we shut the windows? Please?"

"Fine," Dan said, slamming the train shutter closed. He braced himself against the wall. He didn't like it, how convenient everything was, even if they were forced to rely on it. Even if it was welcome. Heck, the free cucumber water was even enjoyable, which he hated, but still enjoyed. And hated. And he hated the fact that he enjoyed it, so he drank most of it. The others mostly drank the non-cucumber water next to it.

Dan looked out the window. The sun had set, night had swallowed the desert meters away from the train. Whatever was coming at them, whatever they were heading towards or was heading towards them, was a mystery now. Dan hated it. Being in the dark both metaphorically and actually made him burn with fury, making him more alert. He hated the opportunities it afforded his foes, the thought someone could sneak up on him at any time, at anywhere, made him absolutely-

"Dan?"

"GRAH!"

"S-sorry, darling. I just wanted to say-"

"No no, you're fine," Dan said to Rarity, "Just another reminder that the danger is EVERYWHERE in this situation, thank you."

"I just wanted to mention that we might want to check the other train cars?" Rarity said. "There could be more on this train."

Dan nodded. "Quite right. Nicky!"

"Dan, maybe it's not a trap."

"Let's get going, Nicky."

"I'm just saying, MAYBE we don't need to be worried," Phoenix said, shrugging. (Nothing wrong with hoping for the best, right?)

"Somebody sent this train to come get us," Dan countered. "Which means they had reason to. I intend to find out why. And I intend for you to help me. And while I'm gone," Dan looked out at the others. Exhausted, resting, recuperating, "I want you all to remain vigilant."

"Ever-vigilant, simper fidelis, el capitan," Doctor Whooves said, giving him a mock salute. They were all tired, not just from the war and lack of decent food, drink and chance for rest, but from the desert. Donquestria was fucking hot. Most business was either done indoors or in the shade with things like misters and fans to keep everyone cool. That's one of the reasons trains and pneumatic tubes were used so much; nobody wanted to be outside.

"Fine, everybody can... take five, I guess. But stay alert. C'mon, Nicky, let's go."

Phoenix Wright did not object, showed no reluctance and was not hesitant to join Dan. He did so quickly, falling in behind the man who barely reached his neck in height, keeping his senses alert. The two were truly best friends and partners now and had been for a while. Whatever happened next, they would always face it together. They entered the next train car.

Chris Redfield let out a looooong sigh and slumped in a chair next to Captain America. It didn't matter who you were, what universe you were from, what species you were, EVERYBODY liked air conditioning. AC was the difference between pleasantness and absolute hell in many places and cases, the ones they found themselves in were no exception. Rarity and Doctor Whooves sat Lyra-style opposite them, with Tuxley and Reginald on the other side.

"So... we got anything to do?" Cap asked.

"I have something to confess," Doctor Whooves said, leaning forward. "I... haven't been myself lately."

"I was going to suggest we play cards."

"I haven't told you, any of you this because... well, it's a bit hard for me to admit. Me being me and all," the Doctor explained.

"I like cards," Chris said.

"I suppose it all started a few weeks ago, back when Vice, Rice or whatever he's calling himself declared himself ruler and we all were forced to accept it," Doctor Whooves explained against their will. They were too tired to stop him as he forcefully told them all what amounted to his entire life story, which meant most of his show and the Doctor Whooves and Assistant series, plus all the other crap the BBC reruns incessantly because they're creatively bankrupt at this point. Well, mostly, anyway.

It's not a dated reference if it's ALWAYS true.

The next car was dark as Dan and Phoenix entered it. It wasn't a passenger car, that much was obvious, and it seemed to be a bit bigger than the last one. There were no visible windows and only a couple glowing, electronic lights to barely give any light to the otherwise dark room. Fortunately, what little light there was was enough.

The room was occupied by a single large object, barely room enough for a pathway at either side around it. Dan and Phoenix crept by.

"Oh great," Dan said.

"What?"

"I think I know what this is," Dan said, brushing the side of the large object. Two flat, triangular surfaces were on either side, closed around a larger structure of some sort in the middle. It wasn't incredibly big, maybe the size of a helicopter but not much more. Dan continued edging his way to the front of the car.

"There's a terminal over here."

"What is this thing, Dan?"

"Well Nicky, there's another reason I was against taking trains. And this would be it," Dan said.

And then, Phoenix began to realize what it was, too. "Is this..." He looked closer at the spot between the two triangles. He was able to just make out four symbols: M B MK 5. The M and the K were connected into one.

"This is that Mechbeth thing, isn't it?"

"Eeyup," Dan said.

Phoenix squeezed over to Dan. "I thought you blew up the last one."

Dan nodded, face illuminated by the glow of the terminal. "And Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara helped Vice recover the remains of the old one. No, this one is new. The donkeys must've kept the design schematics and built a new one after Luna passed on it."

Phoenix looked over Dan's shoulder. Hi-tech, futuristic-y things had their own distinctive noises, as you might've imagined. Just as generators and electronics had their own usual characteristic hums and whirs on Dan's Earth, all the hi-tech stuff from other sci-fi universes had their own unique sounds you could pick up on. A lot of futuristic generators had more of a pulsing thrum to them, a constant '*vumm vumm... vumm vumm...* like the beating of a digital heart.

The reason for this in many cases was the fact that such power generators were vastly upgraded. They were generating and transforming vaster quantities of electricity than the regular generator. The distinct 'pulse' was the energy in its various forms being compressed into a quantum or other such form for it to be stored or transferred to another source.

"What are you doing?"

"Ha! This thing uses almost the same security interface as the GETOFFMAILAWN back home," Dan said. "This computer is downloading targeting profiles into the Mechbeth."

Phoenix scratched his chin. "Why would a weapon on a train use the same computer programs as a home security system?"

"It's a train-based security system," Dan said. "Now, if we just add our own profiles to it... wait a minute." Something caught Dan's eye on the screen. The information scrawled in glowing green against the black background of the computer, bit of an older-style.

The Mechbeth MK. 5 was an upgraded model of the train defense weapon known as Mechbeth. Originally a boss in Star Fox 64, the donkeys developed their own version because they use lots of trains. On the screen before Dan was a presently-updating list of targeting information. The profiles of predictable threats was being loaded into the Mechbeth's on-board processor. Because the weapon wasn't an A.I. like the Magic Gears, it helped to have pre-loaded data to use as a guide.

The usual list of Badlanders was on it and Rice's dog soldiers, which was good to see. But something else had been added to the targeting parameters, specifically on the 'friend' side of the friend-or-foe identifier.

"I think... Nicky, we got it. That's Barro's ship."

Position: Stationary orbit Z-plus 45,000km
Identified: Gunship Starfighter, unknown class
Acceptable range: Unlimited
Status: Friendly

Dan grinned. "Okay, we just flop him over to the 'foe' side and..."

*Blamp*

"Uh oh." The train shifted. Suddenly, they were slowing down. Not stopping, but they weren't traveling at full-speed either. The digital 'thrum' they'd been hearing stopped and the ceiling of the train car pulled back. The Mechbeth shuddered.

"What'd you do, Dan?"

"I think I woke it up," Dan said. "Yeah we might want to run now."

PreviousChapters Next