• Published 12th Aug 2013
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Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) - Barrobroadcaster



The story of a man named Dan and all his friends in Equestria.

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Resort: Dantasy Island- Omnincompetence part 2

"We-"

"Shh," Cap quickly said. He looked at Phoenix, tapped his finger to his pursed lips. Phoenix understood that as the universal signal for quiet and complied. Cap crouched low, carefully vaulted over the desk and landed all without making a sound. He readied his shield and made signals with his free hand, signals to all of them that only Chris understood.

They understood, at least, to be quiet and follow him. The crouch-stepped across the foyer to the hall where the creaking had come from. There were no other sounds, nothing came from the hall. With Lightning's horn to lead them, they sneaked into the hallway.

Dan kept an eye on Khan, which was hard to do. If he was armed, he certainly wasn't showing it, if he had a means to escape, he hadn't mentioned it and if he wanted something from them, he made no indication of it. It was almost like he was genuinely trying to get them to trust him. Which made Dan distrust him even more.

Heel-toe, heel-toe, heel-toe, Cap's footsteps were spy-quiet. Lightning Claw and Reginald alternated opposite hooves- front/side and back/side to maintain the same level of quiet. Their horseshoes didn't make a noise on the hard-packed sand underneath them, that and it was damp. Water dripped down from the ceiling for some odd reason, more like a cave than a castle. Possibly damaged plumbing, some of them thought but none made a sound.

They came to a corner at the end of the hallway. To the right of it was another hall that ran perpendicular to the one they were in, one with a higher arched ceiling and more stained glass windows on the west side. Pretty standard setup for a castle; the hallway with the windows was the beginning of a wing of the castle. The rooms on the right were smaller utility rooms like small studies, libraries, a drawing or tea room, perhaps a single guest room. Furnishings would all follow a certain theme that would traditionally be carried throughout the wing. In this case, it was the moon.

They reached the end of the hall. Cap opened the door, light crept in but nothing else with it.

"Maybe it was the wind. Or something," Phoenix suggested.

"Possibly," Captain America said, closing the door. "Since we're here, we might as well explore this-"

*DUNN*

They spun around.

"Okay, how in the squee did we miss that?" Dan said. Abandoning stealth, he stomped over to the side wall. "That was not here ten seconds ago. No." An elevator opened in front of him.

"We all missed that?" Lightning Claw and Chris asked, at the same time. The two exchanged a glance. Yes, they both constituted the skeptical voice in the group.

"Perhaps it was disguised. Hidden from view," Khan mused.

"No. It wasn't there," Dan declared. The elevator doors tried to close, but Dan stuck a hand between them, preventing them from shutting. The doors slid open again, pouring light into the hall. "This castle is haunted. Where are the CMC? Aren't they like the Ghostbusters?"

"I don't think they brought their Ghost-busting gear with them, Dan," Phoenix said. "It's their vacation, too."

"Figures," Dan grumped. "We know who to call and we can't even call them. Righty, who wants to go on the spooky elevator first?"

"This is obviously a trap," Cap said.

"Exactly. And you're up first, Stevie. Thanks for volunteering."

Cap pinched his eyes shut. "Fine. We don't have any other plans, so I guess going in prepared is better than nothing. But we should leave part of our group here so they can get help just in case."

"Excellent and good thinking, Stevie. So-"

"Can I be on the stay team?"

"No, Nicky, you're with me."

"OBJECTION!"
"SSSHHHH!" They all shushed him.

"Alright, alright. I just... felt like I should say something."

"Noted. Get in the spook-a-vator."

There was only room for four of them, anyway. Cap, Khan, Dan and Phoenix. Two men of vengeance, two men of justice. Tuxley and Reginald waved at them as the doors closed and they departed. At that moment, the door at the end of the hallway opened.

"What the-"
"Get behind me! Get behind me!" Redfield opened fire.

Dan and the others didn't hear Chris firing at the uninvited guests. Because when the elevator doors closed, they had already traveled, in a sense, but not up or down. And at the same time, both.


Equestria
Eastern Agony Sea

The elevator didn't feel like it was moving, but it sounded like it was. Cap still had his shield drawn. He sniffed the air.

"No toxins filtering in, none that I can smell, anyway. The floor isn't a trapdoor and the walls aren't closing in. Good signs."

"You have a bad experience with an elevator, too, Stevie?" Dan asked.

"Yes. Once," he said. In fact, that was around the time he met Dan, back when HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD. Dan had been working for a contractor that was remodeling a base for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Unfortunately, due to HYDRA's involvement, Dan wasn't able to receive insurance benefits for his work as a subcontractor. Being Dan, he drove to SHIELD headquarters to complain in person. But that's a story for another day.

The elevator doors opened. What they opened to wasn't part of the castle, it was a beach. An entire beach.

"What... is this?"

"I'd say it was a vacation, but it doesn't look like any of you are here on holiday," a familiar voice said.

"You," Cap said.
"You," Phoenix accused.
"You," Khan asserted.

"Q, actually," the man said, standing up. Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, sandals, sunglasses and a straw hat, he handed his drink off to a girl in a grass skirt who disappeared off screen. "But friends just call me Q."

"Yeah, well, Q-ever you are, what's the deal with all this... this?" Dan asked.

"Ah, Dan, it is a pleasure to finely meet you. I've heard so much about you, but then again, who hasn't? You're not exactly one to keep a lid on things, are you? Even the important things," Q said. The man talked a mile a minute, seeming to answer his own questions as they formed. "Welcome to Fort Lauderdale's fabulous North Beach, featuring four-and-a-half miles of Florida's own Gold Coast, luxury hotels and dining, surfing, golf and the crisp, clear waters of the Atlantic." He inhaled deeply. "Ahh, you can practically smell the sauteed shrimp and condo developments from here."

"How did... did you bring us here?" Dan asked.

"He's Q, Dan," Cap said.

"Uh huh. What's that short for?"

"Q, but I like to keep things simple, informal. Just call me Q."

"Okay. First, stop TOUCHING me," he said, shoving him off. "Second, why are we HERE?"

"So hostile, Dan. Isn't this the vacation you wanted? Sun, fun, vintage 80s nostalgia?"

"Some of the buildings here haven't been renovated since the 80s," Phoenix commented. "It's a lot like L.A/Kyoto."

"I'm sure it is," Q said. "But isn't there something missing? Isn't something just a bit out of place?" He grabbed the lawyer and Cap by the shoulders and spun them around. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but something is missing."

"If you don't put me and my friends back where we were, there will be PIECES of you missing!" Dan said, shaking with rage.

"That's right! Friends!" Q exclaimed, as if Dan had just gotten a quiz question right. "Yes, it really isn't a vacation without ALL of your friends, is it?"

"I wouldn't know," Dan said, seething, "I had to take my friends PLUS others when I took off."

"Is that so? But isn't there someone you forgot? Someone you left behind?"

Phoenix thought. "Well, we left the mayor behind."

"No, not the mayor. Her vacation was you all leaving, remember?" Q said. "No, this a... certain individual who is a bit closer to you. Especially closer to you at heart."

They all thought. "Twilight's brother? And her sister-in-law?" Cap asked.

"No," Q said. "Try again."

Dan didn't care. "I don't care." And he said so. "I give up. Who is it?"

"Oh, come on. Think," Q encouraged. He hovered around them, careful not to touch Dan but trying to steer their thoughts ever-so-subtly. "He's a fun-loving companion. Loves to unwind, let loose, take a break from the rules. He may not listen to your orders," he said, grinning. "Ring any bells?"

"Is it, umm... ahh, that scientist fellow? The one with the gloves that's always goin' off about technology?" Gary Busey asked.

"Noooo," Q said.

"Can I have another hint?"

"No, Gary. C'mon, you guys. You know who I'm talking about!"

"I've got it!" Dan exclaimed.

"Yes, I knew you would," Q said happily.

"Yes! I realized! I still don't squeeing care!"

"Oh, for the love of Roddenberry, it's Discord!"

"Oohhh," they all went.

"Yes, class, yes, Discord. You came all this way and you forgot Discord." Q snapped his fingers. In a flash, everything disappeared and they were in another hall of the castle, but this one was lit. The man in a Hawaiian shirt calling himself Q had also disappeared... revealing himself to be a very familiar draconequus. "But Discord could never forget you."

"Oh, great, it's Discord."

"It is!" The being wrapped himself around the four humans, hugging them tightly. "I'm just overjoyed to see all of you again!"

"Too... tight..."

"Captain-urk! Please... your shield, remove-"

Discord released him. Behind him, the real Q got up from his lounge chair and took his drink from the same grass skirted girl. "See? I told you it would work."

"Oh, please," Discord said. "If you hadn't told them, they'd be guessing halfway through the Delta Quadrant by now."

Q simply smiled. "They're not exactly Picard, Janeway or Furlong but I'm sure you can get along with them. You all play nice, now. We'll be watching." He snapped his fingers and was gone. But Discord remained.

"So Dan, Phoenix, Steven and... I'm sorry, I don't know whether your name is just Khan or is shouted really loudly."

"Khan Noonien Singh," Khan said, smiling. Surprisingly, he shook Discord's lion's paw, which even Discord wasn't prepared for. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Discord, was it?"

"It was... and is," Discord said, timidly taking aback. "Oh, he's quite frightening, isn't he?" he leaned in, whispering to Dan.

"Get your face away from me. And yes, he is. Okay, so what are you DOING here?" Captain America didn't have any questions. Or at least, he didn't ask any. Instead, his attention was focused on one of the walls.

"I thought you were in the hospital," Phoenix said. "Recovering from your incursion into Vice Grip's base."

"We found one of his bases, too. Blew it up, saved the world, good stuff. No one got hurt. What's your excuse?"

Discord brought himself up to full height. "I admit I underestimated Vice Grip's repertoire. But since then, I've gained valuable information. For instance, I know where some of our friends are."

"Hey guys," Cap said, "There's something different here."

"Yeah, there's lighting in this place," Dan said. "Did you do that, Disco? Or is that-" There was a sound of something, voices, hooves coming from down the corridor.

"Well, that's something else I wanted to tell you. You see, this castle is, well, special," Discord said.

"It's coming from down here!"
"Report this to command! We'll engage!"
"Aye, sir!"

Cap readied his shield again. "We've got company. Dan, call the elevator."

"Elevator's gone," Phoenix said, touching the wall. "Again... or was it here before at all?"

"Discord! Put the elevator back!"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" Discord exclaimed. "My powers haven't exactly returned as of yet. Still recovering. That's why I had to ask for Q's help and honestly, I owe him more than one already and it was kind of a one-time thing that I-"

"DISCORD!" Dan grabbed him and slammed him against the wall. "Spit it out! What's going on with this place?!" Out of the corner of Dan's eye, he spotted the symbols that had been imprinted elsewhere in the castle, Celestia and Luna's cutie marks. Except their positions were reversed- Celestia's mark was large, dominant, overshadowing and Luna's was small, out of the way. A mirror image.

Two ponies appeared from around the corner. "Intruders!"

"Set phasers for stun! The Empress wants them alive!"

"Phasers?" Cap had time to ask the question before the first blast from the guard's lance struck his shield. Covered in futuristic-looking white armor with orange stripes, the second guard charged while the other fired.

"For the Solar Empire!!"

Discord looked back at Dan sheepishly. "By the way, we're in the Mirror Universe."

"Ya don't say."

Author's Note:

Discord's back!

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