The hydroelectric dam that provided the bulk of the town's power was only a short walk from the Golden Oaks Library. Dan and Phoenix made it their in almost no time at all in a straight run. Only just now did Phoenix notice thin yellow line running along the other side of the river, just at the edge of the Everfree Forest- the extension cord. It must've been pretty durable to endure exposure to the raw elements, even with Cloudsdale's control of the local weather. Dan picked things that were built to last.
Dan stormed into the dam with Phoenix behind him. Affectionately known as Hoofer Dam, it was far smaller than its Earth-based relative but constructed similarly. The dam curved across the river, a larger water fall a ways behind it providing a constant source of energy. The entrance was a small glass booth on top near the Ponyville side. A sign jutted out above the door that read Pleasant Ponyville Power and Lighting Company and displayed a pony holding up a shining light bulb. On the upper-right corner of the sign were the words "NCR AND PROUD!" painted in bold, white letters.
"There's supposed to be somepony here," Dan remarked. The office didn't have much- a desk with a computer, three chairs and a stand nearby for visitors to check in. The most business the dam usually saw was the occasional tour or inspection. Behind the desk were the stairs descending into the power plant. The extension cord was slung through the cracked-open window and ran down the wall above the stairs, probably so nopony would trip over it.
"They could already have hit here," Phoenix said, raising his umbrella. "They might have set up traps. They could be setting charges or something to blow the dam right now."
Dan nodded. "Let's keep it quick and quiet. Get the drop on whoever's here before they get a drop on us." They crept carefully down the stairs into the power plant. The extension cord looked like a light fixture on the wall, but it eventually dipped back to the floor. The two humans followed it into the plant.
They could hear the plant's generators humming before they reached the main floor. When they reached the massive room that was the plant's first floor, they were surprised to see no one was there. Dan lowered his pain cane.
"There's no one here," Phoenix said, looking around. "No signs of fighting, nothing broken. Everything seems in working order." The generators hummed loudly, turbines spinning fast as water pumped through them. "Looks like the whole plant is in overdrive mode. But it looks to be alright."
"Yeah, except for the lack of kind-of crucial power plant workers," Dan reminded him. "Let's check on the plugs." He led Phoenix to the break room just a few meters from the stairs.
They followed the cord into the room, right up to where it was plugged in next to a worn coffeemaker. A surge protector on the floor had five additional plugged-in cords that ran through the back of the room, the five other ion cannons stationed throughout town. "Everything seems to check out."
"Good. I think, for now, we should barricade this room and-"
"Lemme double check." He reached for the plugs.
"Dan, wait-!"
And Dan waited, surprisingly. "Ah, yeah. Probably not a good idea to unplug them while they're providing power to the ion cannons."
"I know, I was thinking the same thing. It's a good thing you stopped yourself."
"It is," Dan remarked. He stood up. Both humans looked around for a moment. "Did we just... NOT do something that would have caused a catastrophe?"
"I... I think maybe we did. I mean, didn't."
"Yeah," Dan nodded, half-grinning. "Like we averted a mini-doom scenario. Haha, that's nice."
"Right? Finally." The two men chuckled, happily relieved.
"How about some celebratory coffee? Feels like it's gonna be a long day anyway."
"Might as well, if we're going to be guarding this room," Phoenix said. The lawyer tossed out the old filter, noticing the filter had an unusual marking on it: the three letters NCR. "Hmm."
"What?"
"This filter, it says NCR on it," Phoenix said, examining it.
Dan held up a dented tin of coffee grounds. "Yeah, it's a knockoff brand. New California Refreshments. Never even heard of them." He replaced the filter and water in the coffeemaker.
"Refreshments?" Phoenix asked. "Not Republic?"
"No," Dan said, checking again. "Republic of what?"
"I'm not... sure," Phoenix admitted. He looked at the tin for himself. On the front was a picture of two bears sitting on a patch of grass, one holding up a mug and the other a soda bottle. Cartoonish, but reminiscent of the state flag of California, where both Dan and Phoenix were from. Not necessarily where they were born, however, but their Earth-based residences nonetheless. It was also reminiscent of something else, something Phoenix now felt inclined to keep an eye out for.
"Let me know if you see any guys wearing weird sports equipment. Like... football pads. And armor. With skirts."
Dan stared blankly at him. "...I feel like I should ask why."
"Well-"
"I didn't say I was going to," Dan stopped him. "I'll keep an eye out. Bit outside our usual garden-variety craziness, anyway." He turned back to the coffeemaker. He was about to press the button to start it up, when he stopped. "Hold on... something tells me I shouldn't do this."
"Yes, now that I think about it," Phoenix said, looking around at the outlet and plugs, "that might be a bad idea. Turning on anything else might put too much stress on the generators. Cause a power failure."
"Huh. We're actually thinking ahead. Outside of planning, I mean," Dan remarked. "I'm not sure I like it."
"Like it or not, I think it's for the best." The two humans exited the break room, closed the door carefully so the cords went underneath it. Not the best solution, one that could easily be nullified if the sea ponies or if anything randomly happened to cut the cords, which was a possibility. But, it was one that would work for now. They set out to secure the rest of the power plant.
They searched the plant from top to bottom, level by level. There were no signs of sea ponies or sabotage, nor were there any power plant workers.
"Maybe they didn't attack the power plant," Phoenix finally said.
"Maybe... maybe this was all a diversion!" Dan exclaimed. "Back up top! Now!" They scrambled back up the stairs and out the entrance.
High above them, the battle had apparently spread out but otherwise remained unchanged. Cloudsdale appeared to be either repelling the invaders or had at least caused them to regroup. The distinctive zap-blast of the other ion cannons boomed in the distance. Streaks of energy rose up to the horizon to strike some of the larger, somehow flying, armored giant sea creatures. Although they weren't lethal, they still caused enough damage that the beasts did not venture too close to the city.
A red-colored two-headed shark darted through the sky, absolutely massive. It was being used for close combat by the sea ponies, with additional armor on the edge of its fins, stretched out like blades. The sea ponies were smart; the giant shark was among the creatures that thrashed and busted clouds, the primary defense and a useful tool for pegasi. This assault was clearly something planned. Thankfully, it came too close to the ground and the ion cannons combined their firepower to bring it down.
Screeching from two mouths, the shark fell and landed somewhere outside the west side of town.
"Heheh, I guess that's what happens when the shark jumps you, right Dan?"
"Heh," Dan got a chuckle. "That's a terrible reference but... actually not that bad a joke. But nevermind that!" he pulled out his cellphone. "Mayor! The power plant is safe, where else are we needed? Hello? Mayor?" Dan checked his phone. "Half a bar?! Why does the connection drop every time we need it?!?!"
Phoenix sniffed. "Dan, you smell something?"
Dan sniffed sharply. "Yeah, dam-smell, wet concrete, the overall scent of Ponyville mixed with a little brine."
"Brine," Phoenix repeated. He looked out across the river. "Like the ocean. Here. On a dam crossing a freshwater source. On the mainland." The two humans looked at each other. Carefully, they walked over to the edge of the dam and looked over the side to the water below. The water was rushing, clear but higher than usual. And it smelled briny and strong, also unlike usual.
The water wasn't that deep. Dark figures shuffled about underneath. A light shined up to the surface.
"They're trying to blow up the dam from the outside!!!"
Dan's fists balled in rage, his teeth clenched and he shook as molten fury overcame him. He shouted up to the heavens above:
"SEA PONIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Strangely, a foghorn blew just as he made the episode's title versus declaration. A few of the sea creatures stopped attacking momentarily and looked around to try and determine the source of the noise. They then resumed attacking Cloudsdale like a group of Godzilla monsters.
"We have to get them off the dam!" Phoenix yelled.
"The coffeemaker!" Dan said quickly. "We get it, we plug it in to another extension cord and dump it in the river! That'll shock them all!"
"That will cause the whole dam to get shorted out!"
"Right, right, bad idea. I remember now."
"But you might be on the right track," Phoenix said, looking around. "If we had something we could use to get them out of there, like a net or a crane."
"I don't think we're going to find something like that around here," Dan said, looking around.
"Well, there has to be something. Maybe we could drop something on them, like a box, and trap them like lobsters."
"Let's try the maintenance shed! C'mon, Nicky!" The pair dashed to the dam's maintenance area, just off the side of the road next to the entrance. There were two sheds nearby- one labeled Reliable and Practical Utility Tools that Can Be Used As Efficient Defensive Countermeasures and the other that had a sign above it that read Random and Obscure Video Game References and Unrealistic, Unnecessarily Overpowered and Unsafe, Unethical Weapons and Explosives.
"Which one do we use?" Phoenix asked.
"Hmmmm..." Dan rubbed his chin.
It was then Phoenix compared the two signs, finally reading them. "Unsafe, Unethical... oh crap." He swallowed. "Okay, now, Dan."
"Hmm?"
"I know what you're probably leaning towards."
"Hmmmmm."
"But... just think about how good we've been doing so far! We've done a great job thinking ahead, considering the impact of our actions before going through with them."
"Hmmmm..." Dan rubbed his chin, eyes squinting in consideration.
Phoenix swallowed again. "Come on, Dan. We've been doing good so far. We don't really need to resort to huge, over-the-top displays of violence now... do we?"
"Hmmm," Dan said again. He then smiled, walked over to Phoenix and patted him on the back. "Relax, Nicky. I think by now, we know exactly what the best course of action is."
"R-really? What's that?"
At the same time, the sea ponies assigned to demo the dam were almost finished with their operation. Because it was a covert mission, they weren't as armored as the front line seapony troopers or the Step Daddies. They also weren't happy about the job.
"Hurry it up, Ebby! If we don't disable those cannons, we can't land the rest of the battalion!"
"I know, Flow," Ebby said, struggling to set up one of the explosives. A shadow blocked her view. "You're in my light, Flow. Flow?" She turned around.
"Oh crap." A pair of wooden tool sheds, one full of explosives and weapons, descended from above. The water wasn't deep enough for them to swim out of the way in time.
A massive explosion blasted water up the side of the dam, showering Phoenix and Dan. The ground shook, the water roiled but the dam somehow remained in tacked and the power continued running.
"How's that for a dam tour? HA!" Dan exclaimed.
"I don't know how we haven't destroyed the entire town already," Phoenix remarked.
"Chin up, Nicky. Day's not over yet," Dan said, patting him on the shoulder.
"Do you even REALIZE how that's the OPPOSITE of reassuring?"
"No time for that! Let's get back to the Mayor's and find out where we're needed next!" Dan said, running towards the center of town. Phoenix ran after him, the two men leaving the dam scorched but safe.
So they stopped them from blowing up the dam...
...by throwing explosives in it.
Dan thinking ahead outside of planning... Was quite the change of pace.
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In other words, they stopped them from blowing up the dam by blowing up the dam... just not destroying it.
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Hooray for character development! But then, comes the revelation that it's only slight character development. But still, character development!
I pronounce the names of the two sheds.
One is Barn,
the other is Walls.
Together, they are The Damn Blasters.
Use the Farce, Luke.
*perks a brow* So that happened.
'Dan and Phoenix made it their in almost no time at all in a straight run' - it there in
'dam somehow remained in tacked and the power' - intact
Reads through chapter.
Huh. You've tamed his reckless behavior. Not sure how to feel about that.
Shouts episode's enemy.
Ok. He's still not the same though.
Reads last part.
There he is.
I bet those are Blast Family grade bombs too perfect for blowing up anything! And everything! :D
Hehehe, good show!
After a quiet weekend I can relax with the newest chapter of Dan-sanity now where was I? Oh yes: a new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ Now lemme see here *dons reading glasses*
Ah yes, Dan and our Ace Attorney-General running to stop the damned Sea Ponies from blowing up the darned dam *needle scratches* Hold it! Did Dan just not do something without considering the repercussions? ... This isn't right ... Not right at all! I need some air okay I'm good again ... Seriously, this is a Twilight Zone parody isn't it? Right?
He did it again! Or rather didn't do it again ... is this like some character re-brand where Dan dishes out only (mostly) revenge that is proportional to the original offence? Well, still gotta pay back Vice Grip for nearly destroying the known Ponyverse so that's one helluva revenge missile right there
Oh come on! The Sea Ponies are gonna blow up the dam from the water? Then what the buck was the point in investing in those walking suits?! Wasters, every single one of them! Wasters I say
AHA! I knew it! A smart new plan executed with Adan's unique style of 'getting crap done'! Brava Boss Dan and Attorney General Phoenix! Yeah, Phoenix was right (sorry Dan!) throwing a toaster in the water would've probably gotten the job done but would've boomeranged back on us and blow up the canons ... would've made for an awesome light show though
Now just gotta go jump the two-headed shark (maybe smash it with a giant frying pan then fry it up for the non-Equines to eat?), beat up the regular sea monsters and sea ponies and find a way to make the Step Daddies take the weekend off ... why should the regular Big Daddies have all the fun? Equal rights is the only way forward! Even super monster villains have family!
Now for my favourite quotes:
Could this mean ... maybe the power structure of the Jerkclave is changing? Will Dan become the levelheaded strategist and Phoenix become a dangerously pro-active hater of all things annoying ? ... Nah
I feel like this is an obvious reference and/or parody I should be getting but am missing
Nope! I'm not even gonna ask this time moving on!
Feels like forever since we've had one of Dan's famous Revenge Yells and at the same time, for some reason, I'm reminded of his yell from the Zombie Ponies episode
If movies have taught me anything, a space heater would make a better shock box (don't ask), just saying! Now I'm thinking; Dams make the electricity from the water spinning turbines and whatnot, so would electrifying water super charge everything or just make things worse? ... Am I a bad person for kinda wanting Dan to try?
Let's be honest: the crazy option will always give you better toys
Dan weighs the options given to him, and even though we all know what his most likely cause of action is it's still fun seeing Phoenix hopeful for a moment (sorry Nicky, you know I luv you )!
... There is a duo is Sea Ponies named Ebb(y) and Flow, nuff said
Dan took the two options presented to him, combined them into an epic third option and sealed the deal with a witty one-liner, complete with Nickyms equally witty albeit worrisome reply ... perfect ending!
Phew, apologies for the long review. These chapters are always so fab I should just paste the whole thing down here ... but I'm pretty sure Mr Tuxley would say that is against reviewers' etiquette, so I shall refrain!
Thank you for his latest Dan-tastic episode and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next (and the new outro)!
Awesome as always and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
Uh oh, Dan is be sensible now, someone must have drugged him. Or maybe it's a side effect of Chryssi.