Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Cutie Mark Chronicles
Dear Princess Celestia,
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!
Oh, sorry. I was just reminiscing about the day I got my Cutie Mark. Remember? I had been studying magic for awhile, and my parents had surprised me by signing me up for the entrance exam for your School for Gifted Unicorns. Well, you know what happened. Someone set off some kind of freaky Rainbow, triggered my untapped abilities, and you added a roof repair bill to my tuition because Fax Machine decided to get fat and punch a hole in your tower.
So today at Sugarcube Corner, I discover the three stooges are asking my friends how they got their Cutie Marks. So now, instead of discovering who they are, they're wasting time discovering who other ponies are. I've never heard of ponies that never get Cutie Marks, but damn, I think we've got three great candidates right here.
So Applejack initially hated farm life. Who knew? She took off on her own up to Manehattan to try the city life with her aunt and uncle. You would really think apples and oranges would go well together. Weird. So when she got homesick, she saw a rainbow pointing back to home. Turns out she didn't like starving herself with those binge-and-purge snobs.
Then Fluttershy shared her story of how she sucked at flying. Who would've guessed that? Also, her freefall was broken by a swarm of butterflies? Seriously? What were those things made out of, dark matter?
Then Rarity learned that her talent was gluing gems to shit and selling them to rednecks.
And apparently, Pinkie made Equestria by throwing a party in a grain silo. AFTER Equestria has been in existence for hundreds of generations. So apparently I've been living in Equestria 2: The Revenge.
The thing that ties this all together is Rainbow Dash farting a rainbow during a race in flight camp. So apparently, Rainbow Dash is the reason that I'm now living in this hellhole.
That fucking bitch.
Your screwed-by-destiny former student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Scootaloo was haped.
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Lol so hard.
Two updates in one night? I commend you, sir.
woohoo! double update!
Best line yet.
-Tricondon
I have no clue why I laughed so much at Equestria 2: The revenge. I find it oddly amusing that the chapters are so short, and yet it makes sense. She is getting tired of writing these and is making them extremely concise.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png That fucking bitch.
Wow.
Yes Twilight, you've been screwed by destiny. And it's going to screw you over again and again.
1288368>>1288378
Updating only with Part 22 would make me feel like I screwed you guys. I mean come on, who wants a 27-word update?
1288430
I know. I gambled and figured that unexpected and absurdly short length would prove to be more of a laugh than parodying the episode.
1288458 Back in Part 2, she told Celestia to basically screw off, and said she'd write her letters to prove she'd be better off in Ponyville than in her school.
If she really is so sexually frustrated, why not Big Mac? Just use some magic or fancy words and she won't be worrying about frustrations for weeks
These reports make me laugh ^_^, really enjoyed this one.
P.S. Scootaloo was haped.
Haped.
Haped
Haped
Haped
i53.photobucket.com/albums/g56/segasonicdude/pinkie_pie_is_very_confused_by_serg.png
Also, I miss the Sexually-frustrated Adventures of Twilight
1288554
I agree with this sentiment. What does that even mean?
Will Celestia write a letter in future chapters, or as a sequel of some sorts?
1288461
Without lube, no less.
Also, RD farting rainbows FTW! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
Finally:
Applebloom is Moe, Sweetie
BotBelle is Larry, and Scoots is Curly.1288554
1288585
It means that Scoots was forcibly hugged. It's a portmanteau of "hug" and "rape."
Scootaloo was haped.
Shouldn't it be scootaloo haped. It's a verb right?
Or am I just completely missing the point.
I can't wait for the Gala.
Twilight, Rainbow may have been the reason for you being stuck in that craphole, but she's also the reason for you getting your cutie mark.
So that should even itself out right?
... Who the fuck am I kidding, I'm sure Twilight would find a way to make getting her cutie mark a bad thing, thus putting more shite onto Rainbow.
1288646
Not if she's on the receiving end.
Equestria 2: The Revenge - This Summer, She Just Won't Stop Eating a Dead Horse
It required a cheesy action movie tagline, and that was the best I could come up with. DON'T JUDGE ME!
So yah sayin' this gems on my hat will me me buck harder?
Yes, darling. It will be 500 bits.
...haped? I'm so confused.
1288737
Derp
My brain must have stopped functioning there for a minute...
1288772
Equestria, spelled S-K-Y-R-I-M
1288770
Nice
1288822
Eeyup.
1288885>>1288914
*sigh* FINE.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Your former student,
Twilight Sparkle"
How's that?
1288503 Easy. Celestia would just come and undo it all again, Twilight would get caught, and then she'd still be sexually frustrated... and now also the sole occupant of the Ponyville Detention Center.
The butterflies are made of dark matter.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2888-DiscordBison01.png
1288923
GOLDEN. POST AND I'LL FAVORITE.
1289103 If you didn't get that, watch this
1288645
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowderp_flip.png
OHHHH. You are a savior.
Equestria 2: Equestria Harder. Much better title in my opinion.
1289178
[youtube=TTMslwoS2xM]
1289198
[youtube=9-19kMXEBw8]
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTMrr4Y147tpw0NvbXcr0hFq3uuwVRjdalZHDi2izODAWZ7QwW7ShxWvJmZ-Q
Anyway,
A few of these chapters were a miss, but some had me crying from laughing so hard. I think my favorite parts were naming Equestria's first burger after and Twilight talking about Zecora's tea.
1288489Yeaaaaahhhhhhh, wonder how that's working out for her
I just now realized...I was haped a lot in highschool
Equestria 2: electric bogaloo (or scootaloo)
1288368 Yeah, 'two'
1288503
I'm pretty sure she would just need to flash some "come hither" eyes rather than need magic for THAT.
lol equestria 2 the revenge
1288645
Ah. I was wondering was haped was. I thought it was a typo.
Good chapter but...the hell is "haped"? English is not my language, but I haven't see it in any dictionary :P
Edit: After reading comments I think I know what this mean..... hug + rape?
I noticed this before but didn't really think about untill now.......is Twilight undergoing character development? XD
1288923
A good work in progress.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1289718
Nice, but still not as effective as Old Spice's marketing team.
1288381
good sir, i counter with
Oh, another reference to the Dark Matter video.
1288554I didn't get it either until the later comments.
I'm totally nitpicking, but for some reason Equestria 2: The Revenge bothers me. It sounds like it should be The Revenge of [Something]. Or Equestria 2: Revenge/Resurrection/Retribution/Rebirth/Reloaded/Revolution/Pinkie Boogaloo or something would sound better.
The tvtropes page lists Chronicles as a stock subtitle. Equestria Chronicles or even the blatant Equestria 2: The Cutie Mark Chronicles would be funny.