"Uh... Barro?" Michael's voice crackled through the radio of Barro's fighter.
"Shut up, Michael," Barro said through gritted teeth. The pilot was not interested in whatever his friend had to say as he chased his target. The doghouse weaved and swerved like it was attached to some sort of invisible rail, obeying a set of physics unique to only it.
"A-ga chee-choo waaa!" Snoopy cursed the Red Baron, or rather, the Red Barro, shaking his balled paw at him. Neither pilot seemed to be able to hit one another. Barro's ship had speed and power but Snoopy's trusty Sopwith Camel(doghouse) had maneuverability and handling. He fired the 'machine guns' on his plane back at his attacker as Barro pursued him before pulling into a long bank.
Barro matched speed with the dog. Anger was written into the pony's face as he gripped the controls of his high-tech ship. A comic strip character was insulting him, an insult he was about to pay back. He lined up a shot and fired, watched as his bolts went right past the doghouse. His target was so small it was in the blindspot between his ship's cannons!
"Not... not fucking possible!" Barro yelled. He fired again, twin bolts of amplified heat and light, powerful enough to burn through triple-reinforced durasteel ship hull, quadranium, at that close range even cortosis, adamantium and phrik, certainly enouh to burn through a crappy wooden doghouse! And the lasers just whizzed right past it, not even singeing the target.
Snoopy stuck out his tongue and waggled it at Barro. "Hee-hee haw haw haw!"
"Hmmm-hmm-hmm-hmm," Barro laughed very passive-aggressively, laughter that made Michael worry for his friend's mental stability. But we were loooooong passed that. "Okay ya little shit, let's see you dodge this." Barro unlocked the safeties on his torpedo launchers. Although he preferred using his laser cannons and rail gun, his fighter was also armed with a complement of proton torpedoes.
The crosshairs in Barro's HUD changed from a circle-target to a yellow diamond. Was it a bit dishonorable to launch hit-seeking warheads at a dog flying a doghouse? Was it shameful to deny your opponent the ability to fight back, remove every ability they had to defend themselves, rob them of a fair fight? In this instance, Barro didn't care. He tracked the guidance diamond over his target and waited for a target lock.
Blinked once, blinked twice, red! "Suck it, Schulz!"
But before Barro could fire, Snoopy rolled his Sopwith Camel onto its belly, braked hard and yanked up on the throttle. The effect of this put him in the opposite direction while Barro flew above and past him. Gritting his own teeth, Snoopy raised his machine guns and fired.
"Aaaagh!" Barro's fighter shuddered as more pumpkin seeds pelted its underside. Did this mean Snoopy killed the Great Pumpkin? Either way, Linus is probably going to be pissed. "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!" Speaking of pissed, Barro was raging. Alarm klaxons blared in his cockpit; the tiny seeds passed through his fighter's shields with ease and cut through the hull with their speed.
In space, even the tiniest projectiles were extremely dangerous. Maybe not QUITE this way, being produced magically and fired by a canine's imaginary quad cannons, but still dangerous.
"Barro..." Michael's voice crackled through the intercom over the alarms.
"Not now, Michael!" Barro gunned his fighter again, pulling into a turn so tight it grinded the thrusters against the hull, causing the metal to creak and whine.
"It's important, Barro."
"WHAT is IT?!?!" Finally, Barro checked his sensors and discovered exactly what Michael was talking about. "Oh. Oh shit. The sensors showed only three active sources: Barro's fighter, Snoop's doghouse(because of the radio) and the Danfiant. A massive amount of energy was being generated by the Danfiant and it was growing.
Even now, invisible surges of radiation were pulsing out of the crippled Danfiant. The Genesis-2 device was mere minutes away from detonation. Inside the torpedo, the protomatter was being converted into energy, a massive amount of pre-energy that would become the Genesis Wave. Once released, everything it touched would be collapsed, deconstructed by the proto-particles and rebuilt by the residual energy into a life-giving matrix. In essence, it was a "big bang" event on a smaller scale.
Water, air, gravity, atomic mass and density, so many different physical and natural components were programmed into the Genesis Device. When it detonated, it would not just create life but also instantaneously create and stabilize the conditions for said life to continue. It would use whatever was nearby... including what was left of Equestria. And anything else caught in the blast.
"You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch!!" Barro yelled. He switched his comm systems over and hailed the Danfiant. "Dan! What the hell are you doing?! That bomb will take out more than just Equestria- at this distance, the moon is in range!!"
Only silence answered Barro.
"Dan?! DAN!!" He pulled his starfighter in the opposite direction, back to Dan's ship. "I can't let you do this. No... you're not getting away with this!"
But Snoopy was right behind him. He fired another stream of pumpkin seeds at Barro, but the broadcaster was quicker this time.
"RRRRgggh, you little bastard. That's it!" He pulled up tight, cut his engines and charged his guns. The crosshair went red and he fired.
Snoopy was surprised by the maneuver, to say the least. He watched as Barro flew up, suddenly spun around, came right at him and fired. He closed his eyes, blinded by the red lasers as they came right at him and fired another volley as Barro flew by, firing blind.
When Snoopy opened his eyes again, he quickly examined himself to make sure he wasn't hit. Thankfully, he seemed to be in one piece. When he looked under the roof of his doghouse, he was shocked to see that the rest of his doghouse was gone. He was now flying just a roof; the engines had been in the actual house part.
As had Woodstock, but thankfully, the yellow bird popped his head up. Snoopy breathed a sigh of relief and hugged his friend and copilot. Unfortunately, they had been gotten.
"HahahaHA!" Barro laughed. "Finally... greatest dogfighter, ha! To think some mutt thought he could stand a chance against me. I have to laugh. What kind of joke they were trying to pull." Barro looked out the cockpit, grinning, chancing one last glance at his foe. And he saw that his wings had been shot off.
"Wait... oh no." He pulled at the controls, but there was no response. Without the wings, he had nothing to guide his thrusters with. "No no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Engines firing, Barro spun out of control, off into the distance. Snoopy chuckled and gave the Red Barro a mocking salute. An excellent match as always, this one ended in a draw. As long as Snoopy had Woodstock and at least part of his doghouse, he was perfectly fine with that.
Wiz: While Barro had Superior raw offensive power and speed, Snoopy's Sopwith Camel had just enough speed to take advantage of it's small size and better handling to stay outside of the line of fire.
Boomstick: And just because your opponent is using a less high tech weapon doesn't he won't be able to kill you with it, just ask any Jedi who've had fought in the Mandalorian-Wars.
Wiz:While they weren't metal slugs, the rounds Snoopy used were able to bypass Barros shield. Which means this battle would be decided by the skill of the pilots.
Boomstick: You'd think barro who blew up entire fleets worth of ships from various franchises would be the better pilot, but you forget who snoopy was ordered to shoot down.
Wiz:During WWI the Red baron supposed shot down around 80 craft where as the top american ace only had around 26 kills.
Boomstick: And Snoopy has been hunting this guy for how long.
Wiz: Too long Boomstick too long.
Boomstick:Shouldn't he have died of old age by now?
Wiz:It's comics Boomstick.
Boomstick:OHHHH Yeah!!! I forgot...
Wiz:While this was a close match, Snoopy's years of experience against a vastly superior pilot made him more than a match for an opponent who relied on the element of surprise for his kills.
Boomstick: Snoopy was the true top dog of this fight.
Wiz:The winner is Snoopy.
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Staedtler:Word
Waldorf:Salad.
Hohohohohoho.
Where Wesleys WArp Drive teapot? They need to blink the Danfient out of range, unless theres a transition or Deflection possible? Then again, just how much of Subspace energies is the Genesis Device messing up, given the Reality Rewite worthy of Discord or even Pinkie?
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Well, I can still take that pretty boy Rick Hunter any day of the week! And it's not just the element of surprise or the homefield advantage; I had to TRAIN to get this good! Friggin Snoopy.
Also, nice Death Battle comment, major props for coming up with that. That's a keeper.
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He was doing a thing, Booster, much like yourself. Wesley was not a pilot but I could take Travis, Paris, Sulu or Nog as opponents. Data is an option but he wasn't much of a pilot either.
Hello Good Author, I hope this past week has been kind to to you. With that in mind: chapter means it’s ~Sunday~ now let me see n’ere *dons reading glasses*
Barro and Michael are okay?! Oh thank Squee! And-wait ... they’re having a Space
-Dogfight with the Peanuts Dog? ... *looks at chocolate milkshake bottle, tosses it into recycling bin* Seriously am I just on a sugar high right now or-NOOO! MICHAEL! BARRO!!!
Wow, just wow ... our Author is missing ... how will we go on?!
Thanks for another terrifying instalment and I’ll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
Poor Barro. He should have known that the only time Snoopy can be beaten in a dogfight is on Christmas.
Owned.