"Um..."
"Uh..."
"Err..."
Everyone seemed to have become struck awkward with Khan's offer of aid. Twilight was about to jump in, to try and diffuse the situation when Dan surprisingly did it for her. "Wait just a minute there, Khannie. Didn't you say you were a prince earlier?"
Khan paused, seeming to consider more than just the question. "Yes, but my kingdom is long gone. After my first, shall we say, exodus, my followers and I-"
Dan held up his hand. "Yes or no will do, Ricardo, we're under attack here."
"I'm no longer a prince. My kingdom was destroyed."
"Thppp-thbbb-thppp-tpppthth." Join the club, we meet on Tuesdays in the Fun Cave. Bring a friend and detergent. And ham.
"But you're still a prince," Dan stated, "And that means it's my responsibility to protect you. As Captain of the Royal Guard, Sparkle Division, I'm gonna have to ask that you stay right here while Co-Captain Chrys and Ace Attorney General Nicky assist me in driving back the seapones."
"Ace Attorney General?" Phoenix repeated, scratching his chin. "I like the sound of that." (Though I hope it's more 'attorney' and less 'general.')
"For your safety, your highness, sit tight in the house. Stevie and Redfield will protect you," Dan said, turning to the door.
"Hold on, you want us to watch him?" Chris asked blatantly. Cap tried to stop him, to no avail. "We're not royal guards, though."
Dan walked back over to them. He booped both the humans on the nose. "Boop, boop. There, you're deputized. Welcome to the Royal Guard, Sparkle Division." Another explosion rocked the house.
"Deputized?"
"More like conscripted," Cap commented. "I guess it's a bit ironic in my case."
"Fantastic, watch the Khan-man. Nicky, with me. The rest of you, get on the ion cannon and start shooting back at whatever's shooting at us."
"I've got to get to my ship. I'll try to make sure they don't get as close to the town as I did!" Gust announced, flying off to join his griffons defending Cloudsdale.
Dan stopped at the terminal next to the door, the control station for the security system. He pressed what appeared to be an absolutely random combination of buttons. He then picked what looked to be a dixie cup attached to a string on the side of the machine. "Loudmouth to Windbag, come in Windbag. Loudmouth to Windbag, come in."
An image of the Mayor's office appeared on screen, along with Apple Bloom. "Heya Dan." The filly was wearing a combat helmet over her signature bow.
"Apple Bloom?" Another explosion close by- the house shook along with Apple Bloom in the Mayor's office. "Where's the mayor? Why are you answering for her?"
"Uhh, she's kinda busy right now. Hold on." She hopped off screen. A moment later, she was back with a very frazzled Mayor Mare, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The fillies were wearing helmets, the Mayor wore an exasperated expression.
"Dan! Where are you? We've got problems!"
"Yeah, that's kinda obvious at this point, and why are you not using your designated code name? This is WHY we have the drills, Mayor!" Dan yelled into the cup.
"Fine, Loudmouth this is... this is Windbag." A few chuckles came from both behind Dan in the treehouse and the mayor in her office. "We've got seaponies! They're attacking the whole town from the ground and in the air!" The screen changed to a view of Ponyville from one of the surveillance cameras mounted on Town Hall. High above Ponyville, the heavily-fortified Cloudsdale and the griffon carriers surrounding it looked more like a scene from a sea battle. The trio of ring-shaped carriers looked like life rafts on one side of the cloudy city, keeping it afloat while a group of ships that looked like sea monsters attacking them.
Dan zoomed in closer on the city. The sea pony vessels WERE sea monsters: giant squids, octopi, several creatures that Dan couldn't even pronounce like the singular giant amomalocaris were all laying siege to Cloudsdale and Ponyville at the same time. A pair of large jellyfish swam by, oddly enough wearing matching robes and crowns like they were royalty. They didn't seem to be involved in the combat, however.
"Okay, well, that's new. Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'fly fishing,'" Dan remarked.
"What about on the street, Mayor?" Phoenix asked.
"Those ion cannon things you installed are keeping their beasts at bay, but they've got soldiers marching on us from the north side of town!" she exclaimed. The screen showed several of the newly-installed ion cannons blasting a large armored ray that hovered close by. The gigantic sea creatures were covered like colossal war mounts, bristling with weapons. The only sea ponies Dan saw were riding them, wearing armored suits as expected.
"They're going after the power plant," Dan said gravely. "The dam is the only thing powering the ion cannons. If they so much as nick it, we could lose the guns. Probably should have checked on the extension cords by now."
"Extension cords?" Phoenix stopped him, "Wait, you're saying the ion cannons are plugged into the power plant by an extension cord?"
"Extension cordsss, Nicky," Dan corrected. "Ion cannons take a lotta juice."
"But an extension cord?"
"Cordsssssssss."
"Cordssss-whatever, why are they only plugged in with extension cords?!!"
"You realize how many double-A's we'd go through if we didn't use extension cords? Yeah, yeah, I get it, not the best idea. We'll upgrade them all AFTER we save the town," Dan turned back to the mayor. "We're on our way to the power plant, Mayor."
"Good. Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara and their other friends are trying to work on Knight; they have some kind of plan to drive the sea ponies back. We need you to hold them off as long as you can!"
"They're not trying to get their cutie marks for defending the town, are they?" Dan asked, skeptically.
Mayor Mare rolled her eyes. "Of course they are. But they might be onto something. Just do your best to protect the power plant until we're ready!"
"We're on it, Mayor. Remember to answer with your code name next time!" The screen cut off. "Let's go, Nicky!"
"Right behind you." Phoenix grabbed their weapons of choice from the umbrella stand by the door. The ion cannon on top of the library began opening fire as Twilight and Fluffle manned the guns.
"Girlfriend!" Dan called. Chrys' head popped up from the hallway. Marksaline's head appeared underneath it. "Stay in touch, love-bug-schmoopiekins. I might need you."
"Okie dokie lokie pahokey, loud-love-snuggle-bear. Good luck!"
"Good luck to us all," Dan said, gravely again. He then cheerfully added, "Be back for lunch! Save me some haybacon!"
Dan and Phoenix exited the library. The sky above Ponyville was a battlefield; ponies and griffons in squadrons fought various sea creatures. They used clouds as cover, darting through them and making them shoot lightning to confuse their foes. At the same time, the guns on the griffon carriers exchanged volleys with cannons mounted on the sides of the larger beasts.
"Wonderful," Dan said at the sight of the griffons fighting the sea ponies. "Turkey sub's group is fighting off a seafood buffet. Hope he doesn't wind up as the catch of the day."
"I could say something about sushi, but I'd probably regret it," Phoenix added. "Let's get going!"
The two broke into a run towards the north side of town, following the river all the way up to the dam. When they got there, seafood puns weren't exactly the first thing on their minds.
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Until next week, sure.
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Through magic, fun and rage.
Looks like Dans going to have smoked kipper on the table for breakfast, although at the dam, it could be anything, it jsut depends if author has read the whole book, and not the second movie that was never made.
If Johnny Goodboy Taylor is up there, then Ponyville is going to need the Maud Cannon.
As for Vice, did he get into the new show right at the beginning when they were starting up with the alien tech, or is he the reason they switched to easier to aquire Earth tech?
Pfft, those pet nicknames.
Prepare the grill for all that seafood!
Politicians are often windbags, so nice touch.
A new chapter means it's ~Sunday~ I'm currently sitting watching the light dusting of snow that's falling while reading the latest episode of Dan-sanity ... my Sunday is good! Now lemme see here *dons reading glasses*
Ugh! Is Dan actually still entertain this weirdo? Come on Dan! *Punchy-Smashy!* remember? No? Ohhh ... wait, Redfield and Cap are guarding him? Hmm, is could work out either way! Either Redfield will get eliminated by Khan and Khan will then be executed by Dan or nothing of note will happen and these three will become background characters until relevant again ... I'm okay either way
So Nicky is now Ace Attorney General? Awesome! With a bit more practice (extra EXP points never hurt Nicky!) this could work out perfectly
... Oh no, it's finally happening isn't it? The Sea Ponies are coming! The Sea Ponies are coming!!! Maybe we should give Mayor Mare a break, poor gal trying to run a town with just Vice Grip running around is one thing but Sea Ponies?! Never! Uhh someone should probably stop them before they hit the dam and give the Sea Ponies' monster a Field Power Bonus (yes I watched Yu-Gi-Oh, 4 Kids dub to be exact ... I'm so ashamed!) Run Dan! Run!!!
Ooh, can I come to the Fun Cave if I bring a platonic friend? My BAB Jigglypuff will be coming to live with me soon and I'm sure she would love to see Fluffle's take on Leisurely Chic but in the mean time: squish those Sea Ponies good Dan
Now for my favourite quotes:
Urgh! Take the hint Khannie: Dan gives zero bucks about your backstory!
Ace Attorney General Nicky Wright? I like it! I like it very much
You know what? Maybe we should cute Mayor Mare some slack, get her a nice competent Deputy Mayor to help with situations like this. Managing Ponyville with just Vice Grip being a pain in the flank is one thing but Sea Ponies now?! Poor lady needs a hug if nothing else at least they can't attack from sea too, right? Right? :ajconfused: ... Yeah, stick to your code name though Mayor Mare, Dan says so!
I keep forgetting that Crusaders of the Lost Mark hasn't happened in the Dan-verse ... wow these girls had a lot of hobbies before they found their Special Talent
I don't approve of the lack of 'I will be back soon' smooching but adore this little 'smoochy-poo-i-love-you' moment! Too darn kawaii
There is no such thing as too many food puns ... but that ending makes it sound like it may finally be time to cut down on the tasty-puns ... maybe? ... NEVER!!!
Phew, that's what I loved (most) about this week's Dan-tastic adventure! Like always thank you for brightening my Sunday, it is much appreciated Mr Author!
Awesome as always and I'll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
Hehehehe, fucking A man! This is still going awesomely.
The Seaponies are attacking eh? Whew... this is gonna be one heck of a battle! :D At least until Dan breaks out the Fishing Harpoon and Nets, lel.
I just noticed that the word count of the story now is 666.600...
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I made them all up. A few are parodies. Caution: it gets... pretty loopy and hard to read in a few places. Needs editing in more than one way, but the story is there and Dan and friends' adventures continue. I recommend taking it one episode at a time. Treat it like a show- there will be good episodes and bad. You seemed to like one and I appreciate you reading it, so you may want to continue. Have a good one and thanks again /)
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Hey there, my favorite beast-tamer, monster-catcher fan, thought you might like to know we added an outro song. Finally. The reason I don't add the intro theme to every episode is because it's not a song yet, just the lyrics. Don't want people to get tired of it, having to skip it all the time and it would also mess with the word count. Anyway, we now have a completely different outro song as well! Hope ya like it. It's a parody! As always, happy to have you here with us, my lady. All my best!
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Apologies for my delay in replying Dan-tastic Author, very sorry! A new outro song? As in, a second outro song that is new? *Squee!* You spoil us Mr Author, you truly do
I can't wait to read it! Now all we need is someone to cover it ... Caleb Hyles does awesome covers! Oh how about NoWacking? His parody of Winter Wrap-Up is hilarious! Just settling down to partake in my weekly dose of Dan-sanity!
Thank you in advance ^_^