"So, what are we gonna do, Twilight?" Spike asked, sitting on Fluffle's back.
Twilight thought about her response. The moment Vice had said something threatening, even indirectly threatening, about the princesses and especially her brother and Cadence, she had lost whatever respect she'd had for her former mentor. He may not have done anything yet but Twilight believed, like Dan, that Vice would show his true colors eventually. And for now, his intent was a few shades too dark not to act on.
"We have to go to the Crystal Empire," Twilight announced.
"But that's exactly what he-"
"I know," she told Dan. She didn't like playing into the villain's hands either but they were out of options. And once again, it was something she felt Vice had anticipated. "But my brother and Princess Cadence are in trouble. And so is Nightshade and… possibly all of Equestria. We have no choice."
"He's got our plots, well… in a vice," Chrys remarked.
There were no protests from Dan and the others. She was right and the decision had been made.
She turned around to Vice, the others following suit. "We'll… see you in the Crystal Empire."
"Ah!" Vice's smile returned. "I think you mean the NEW Crystal Empire," he said with a chuckle. "And honestly, it was in need of some renewing. Did you know they still had laws from a thousand years ago? Trust me, I know this is difficult but these reforms have been necessary."
"Social reforms?" Twilight asked. "And you have the power to do this all of a sudden?"
"Why yes. Most of them your brother and his wife started when they first arrived but others I've had to implement myself. I had to draw up sports regulations for games other than jousting, I had to re-establish territorial boundaries with the Empire's neighbors, lobby to release Team Left for Half Portal 5 Episode L Brown Version and I had to legalize recreational poison joke, gambling and same sex marriage."
"Wait," Phoenix stopped him, "Gay marriage? They actually had laws against that?"
Vice shrugged. "Leftover from King Sombra's rule but still in place. I had to revise the charter specifically legalizing it myself. Pretty backwards, right?"
They all nodded in agreement. Equestria had long ago legalized same sex marriages after the Great Shipping Crisis of '11 where they all decided it was just best to let ponies marry whoever they wanted and everything would be fine so long as nopony be cheatin'. And if you have foals with some pony, congrats, you're glued to them in one way or another. Centuries later, things were working out, though the Crystal Empire hadn't been around for this revolution(coupled with the general lack of crystal shipping) and so still had laws in place leftover from Sombra's rule.
"Honestly, I know a few people who'd be happy to hear that," Phoenix said. (If it's that easy to pass legislation here, maybe I should set up a firm in Equestria.)
"Every wedding should be legal," Dan said.
Chrys immediately began to blush. "Um… you like… going to weddings, Dan?"
"Of course!" he announced enthusiastically. "It's free food, free drinks and all the folding chairs you can carry with you out the door!" True to form, Dan approved of just about anything if it involved free stuff.
"And the bad guy just legalized gay marriage…" Chrys thought out loud. She scratched her head. "I'm not really sure where I stand on this any more."
Dan grabbed Chrys by the ear. "Just because he did ONE good thing doesn't mean he isn't planning on stabbing us in the back!"
Chrys blushed hard. "You're touching my ear…"
He released his grasp and turned back to the confrontation.
"I didn't say stop…" she whispered too low for any of them to hear.
"There were actually quite a few old laws I had to revise from King Sombra's reign," Vice continued. "But it wasn't as difficult as-"
"What about interspecies marriage?" Chrys asked, waving her hoof.
"O-oh, uh, that's a great question!" Spike added. "Yeah, um, is that legal… in the Crystal Empire?"
"Yes, is it???" Chrys asked eagerly. Phoenix and Twilight drew curious looks at the changeling.
"What?" Vice asked, confused. "Interspecies? You mean like… pony and zebra or something?"
"Or pony and dragon…" Spike quietly added.
"Well, yes… interspecies marriage! Like, any two happily consenting and loving sentients in… love. Lovingly," Chrys awkwardly clarified.
"Oh," Vice understood. "Uh, no. Ew. That's just… wrong," he said, disgusted at the very idea. "Interspecies marriage, that's still illegal everywhere, thankfully."
"Oh… I… I see…crap," Chrys said as her head dipped low in despair.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Spike wailed, crying into his arm as he did so. His tears fell in torrents, hitting Fluffle beneath him and causing her fluff to absorb it. She puffed up a good foot and a half form his tears alone. "WHY?!! WHYYYYYYYYY????!!!!"
Twilight had to admit they both took it better than she expected.
"Is there something I should know?" Phoenix asked no one in particular.
"Just give him a minute; he'll be fine," Dan said, oblivious to Chrys' problem, which in fact WAS the problem.
But Vice Grip happened to notice both outbursts. "Well, this has been quite… interesting. Anyway, I must be getting back to overseeing our new Empire. Security obligations and all, you know how it is," he said, giving Dan a nod that made him want to strangle him somehow even more.
"I'll see you all there," Vice said slyly, holding Dan's phone out in front of him. He let the human reach out for it, then turned it back to himself and snapped a picture. In a flash, the scientist stallion was gone and the phone hit the floor.
Dan picked the phone off the floor. "Ahghh!" he shielded his eyes from the screen. "He teleported by taking a selfie!"
"Bleh," Chrys said.
"That's just tacky," Phoenix said. The rest of them recoiled in disgust.
Sorry for the short update this week, next week we hope to have more.
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New vice, selfie teleport, for when your ego is so large it cant be satisfied by third person.
5986135 He's the douche that keeps on bagging.
How is he not sinking into her fur?
...what?
at THE changeling.
AGGGGH! IT BURNS!
5993440 The story is a bit of an alternate reality. It's based on the blogs but at the same time, I'm trying to show that the characters are more than just any given emotion or feeling. Curtis Armstrong and the characters he plays are actually very complex, Dan included. He's just not angry or hate-filled 24/7. In the blogs, I know Chrys is portrayed as mischievous but I've changed her personality because she's interacting with the greater world. Dan has changed because he's found something else to fight for. And Fluffle Puff… is a mixture of weird, crazy, adorable and famous actors.
That being said, I'm in the process of writing a season zero where I'm planning on having the characters be closer to the original blogs and illustrate how they changed over time. The reason I didn't do that in the first place is because in the blogs, Dan and the others have already acclimated to their surroundings so showing them adjusting to the things wouldn't make much sense. That's one of the themes of the story, actually: things might seem out of place or that they just downright don't belong. But they're here and that makes a difference.
Selfie teleport... sweet god almighty that is a big no no XD
hehehehe, nice job on this chapter mate!
Same sex marriage legalised? About damn time! No intersects marriage? That's speciest man! Making Spike cry and killing my dream of Danalis? That's unforgivable! Trying to conquer the Crystal Empire AGAIN? That's just evil! But abusing the (annoying) power of the selfie?! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
After him! To the next Chapter >:(
Nooooooooo, perhaps interspecies marriage, Chryssie needs her D!