There's something strange and unnatural living in Bon-Bon's house.

Something other than Lyra.

There are 100 billion stars in the Milky Way, and humanity is determined to explore every one. We send probes, probes with the blueprints to reproduce human explorers upon arrival. Uninhabited worlds the galaxy over can be colonized and populated, until after many years they too can join the vast throng of interstellar civilization. But if a probe is very, very lucky, it will land on a populated world instead. Equestria is one such world.

Even so, it's far from perfect for colonization, not with an environment lethal to human life. But each probe is resourceful and armed with the greatest machine intelligence mankind has devised. If placing a human mind into a newly manufactured human body won't work, it will just have to get a little more creative.

This book has a Hardcover! If you want to pick it up, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story was written at the behest of Canary In The Coal Mine, who is sponsoring it on my Patreon. As usual, cover by Zutcha. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail.

Fantastic prereading help from: Chyre, Danger Noodle, Doctor Disco, and Doggyshakespeare (who also did the Esperanto translation). Thank you all for helping to make this story more readable and more consistent for everyone.

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

Not much was known about Rainbow Dash's family life, until one day, her brothers decided to pay her a visit.

My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

It was not destiny or enjoyment that led me to discover the cello and composing. My parents made that decision, deciding before I was born I would continue their family legacy of famous musicians.

They did not realize what that decision would cost them.

Special Thanks and Links:

Cover Art: Dreampaw. The inspiration for the story.
Dramatic reading of Act I-III by Malao567. June 2013
Reading with music by ObabScribbler. June 2014
Song: Hooks and Strings by Reverb Brony. May 2014

Style inspired by H.P. Lovecraft
TypeWriterError: Editor & Rating Board
Gage of Grandiloquence: Editor
The11thWonder: Pre-reader
Nharctic: Pre-reader
Breath of Plagues: My Pinch Editor.
ArgonMatrix: Bad Grammar Exterminator
Daemon of Decay: Advice, also inspired me to write fan fiction. Blame him!

My roommate's name is Octavia, or "Tavi" for short. She likes vintage red wine, soft pillows, and long walks on the beach. But, more than anything, she loves music. She loves it with a passion that radiates with every burning color of the spectrum.

Each day I spend with her... or without her, I learn a little bit more about life, about the sick beat to which we all dance, whether we know it or not. I hope you don't mind if I say a few things about her. Just a few things. One can learn a lot from Tavi.

After all, she saved my life.

Cover Art by Eztp

Playlist - Because Even Original Things Aren't Original

Each night I’m trapped in the dark, immobilized. I hear whispers as they operate on me: they say I shouldn’t be alive. Twilight refuses to tell me about the operation. Sometimes she can’t look me in the eye. What did they do to me?

Nothing used to scare me: I kicked a dragon in the nose, defeated gods of chaos and hatred, and control the weather. Now I feel broken. My memories have shattered, I feel wrong, and I’m afraid to tell anypony how scared I am.

I can’t even do the rainboom anymore. Who am I? I’m no longer the best flyer in Equestria, yet everypony assures me I am. Why won’t they tell me the truth?
↓↓ Credits

Special Thanks:
Dreampaw the artist. Best cover art.
Editors:
ArgonMatrix - Fixed 128 errors in chapter one alone.
Animus - who is awesome and for hire.
BronyWriter - The only author to punch Celestia in the face, and live.
Jaestring - Artist, Editor, and Female all in one.
Abcron - European editor, which means his time zone and my actual sleep schedule are aligned perfectly!
The Parasprite. Need I say more?
Selbi - If your editor isn't German, you aren't trying hard enough.
OctaviaHarmony - His avatar is as sexy as his editing.
RenegadeTimelord - Doctor who?
Akumokagetsu - Awesomesauce.
(Wow, a lot of editors came and went.)