The reality of the moment haunts me.
This village...
This burningly bright sky...
Even as I shuffle towards the otherwise familiar sight of my apartment's front entrance, I feel my insides shifting, quivering. Every time I blink or close my eyes, I feel like I'm seated on a boat rocking in the middle of a tempestuous sea. I know that this is my home and that I belong here, but the sheer intensity of the events that I've been through make me feel as if I'm shaking loose the fresh tatters of a queer dream.
I just finished being a walking mutated biped version of myself over the course of several hours. There were ponies... people there that I recognized, and yet they were as mysterious to me as the dark side of the moon. Twilight Sparkle was there. But, for an anchor, she was a very fragile.. anxious one. Her distress was my distress, and now we're both lost in the wake of something far more confusing than triumphant.
And at the tail end of it all... something glorious... a beautiful display and a venomous show all at once.
Right now, as I reach for the doorknob with fingers that aren't there, I hear her melodiously happy voice... her tearful strings of violet and indigo as she clings to Vinyl... her Vinyl.
Her Vinyl...
Goddess help me. I've never wanted to crawl into a dark hole so badly in my life.
I open the front door. I instantly love and regret it.
Cello strings bleed off into phantom echoes, and her violet voice fills the void—along with her violet eyes. She's the absolute best and worst that she can be right now: happy.
"Oh! Vine! There you are!" She grins. Scribbler cuddles up on the cushions next to where she stands, and the orange backdrop only highlights the twinkle in her violet eyes all the more. "Just where have you been off to all morning?"
I gesture something... anything... and nothing. I hope she overlooks it and simply rides the crest of her joy elsewhere.
To my relief, she does just that. "You'll never guessed what I found out! Seems as though the Royal Castle of Friendship here in Ponyville is going to be hosting a brand new event! They call it the 'Friendship Gala.' Rarity let the information slip while I was visiting her, trying on some new dresses. Heehee... I swear, that mare is always reduced to putty whenever I'm in the same room as her."
I nod. I shuffle. I limp towards my bedroom.
"Still, they're trying to keep it super secret until they hear back from Princess Celestia. I mean, it's not like they're wanting to step on any of Canterlot's fetlocks, but Rarity did say they're establishing it in order to stave off some of the hype and over-abundance of attendees at the Grand Galloping Gala. Personally, I'm quite ecstatic! We'll get to perform for dignitaries from all across Equestria soon enough, Vine! Isn't that absolutely spectacular, love?"
I wince. I turn, giving her my best smile.
And that's when I see her. That tranquil smile. That ever-flowing drift to her mane. Her voice is on fire, like her smile. I couldn't imagine an even better encapsulation of an angel... an angel that once saved me.
That beauty hurts. And I can't show her that it hurts. It'll ruin everything.
"You look exhausted, Vine. Is everything okay?"
I nod—a very difficult thing to do with the weight of the lump in my throat. Saluting, I smile, and shuffle off towards my bedroom.
"Well, do get some rest. Me? I have lots of practice to do, but I promise to take it outside. Heehee... the whole town deserves to hear this! That first chair in the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra is mine already! I can just feel it!"
I wish I could feel it for her too.
All I can feel right now is...
The door shuts behind me. I slump into the bed, surrounded by tan shadows.
I curl up into a little white ball beneath the covers. I don't remove my shades. There's a reason for that.
The sobs come quickly, dizzying me with magenta layers of nausea.
I cling to the mattress like a castaway lost to the waves.
I'm not sure when the storm ends. Maybe it never ends. But I'm thrown into exhausting unconsciousness all the same.
With one final thought... painted violet... lingering constantly on a precipice...
That whole trip has definitely screwed with Vinyl something fierce. Poor tortured pony.
she swearerer dat marererer
Yeah, I forsee this existentialism of what could or might have been becoming a dragging issue for the next twenty or so chapters, shame really that Vinyl seems unwilling to even try.
Then again, what do I know, I'm not walking a mile in her shoes.
Well Twilight, ya broke Vinyl
Okay, Friendship Gala!
Let that be the moment, Skirts. PLEASE. I don't care if it takes 400 chapters, there cannot be a more perfect moment. The sheer adrenaline of breaking Canterlot's elite with wubs, coupled with Twilight's pushing and ALL the Dr Pony, it is the moment, it is the time, when the momentum and the moment are in rhyme! Give her that moment, that precious chance! She can gather up her past, and make some sense AT LAST!
...
Sorry, started waxing lyrical there. The point is, PAYOFF.
'Cause it's not a shortskirts story if the main character doesn't break down at some point
The bitterly funny part is, I'm fairly sure Tavi isn't as oblivious as Vinyl thinks she is.
So for this chapter we have the song Ocean of Love......... HOLY COW IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING! He's going to introduce the ship we've all been waiting for........... Octavia x Rarity!!
Twilight, you broke best DJ... how could you
Awesome chapter though
6598766 lol
To be fair, I can completely understand Vinyl's reluctance to confess to Octavia (assuming that Vinyl does have feelings for her, which seems a safe bet at this point). Octavia's very presence and companionship, sans romance, seems to be good for Vinyl, and I can sympathize with her for not wanting to jeopardize that by making things awkward between them. Like I said last chapter, it will likely take some outside force or unforeseeable happenstance to move things forward. This Friendship Gala might be just the thing. Maybe.
CONFESS! CONFESS! CONFESS!
Yup, this is an ssande story.
6598517
Trying, especially when you live with someone, can mean the absolute destruction of what you already have with them - if they're not interested they might find it creepy that someone sexually interested in them is so close to them at all times. Yeah, you can say what a million other romantics say, "Even if it doesn't work, clearly the strength of their bond will see them through" but it actually rarely turns out that way. If you had just one thing in your life that was important, and having it as it is is enough for you - would you risk losing it altogether just to make it better, when you're already happy enough?
It's not that much different from trying to jump a gap blindfolded. You -might- make it and everything is great. Or you're killing yourself foolishly.
Awwwwwwwwww... Vinyl needs a hug in the worst way. Where's Sweetie Belle when you need her?
Self-loathing is a horrible thing to live with and it really seems that Vinyl has it is spades!
6598723 Probably. The two Tavis likely feel the same way, but PonyTavi sees something that's making her hold back, I'd guess.
Mirrors can be such troublesome things. Magic mirrors, even more so.
6599234
I CONFESS!
6599733
More than likely just that Vinyl's so locked up in herself, afraid to make a move, that Tavi would feel like she's taking advantage of V if she made the first move herself.
6599289
A thing I've noticed throughout this and a few of SS&E other works is that characters rarely seem to take any sort of initiative toward obtaining their own personal happiness, either sacrificing it for others or just letting such opportunities repeatedly pass them by like with Vinyl here. She's extremely hesitant to even start a conversation with anyone, either just letting others like Beau or Octavia do all the talking for her while chiming in with a few nonchalant motions as response. Or just using that sign-language like motion, even then she rarely asks anything poignant until it directly affects her life.
I'm not saying Vinyl should just out and confess or anything but it would be nice if she could actually sit down with Octavia and the two just 'talk' to one another instead of at one another.
6599921 That's real life, sometimes. Especially for the awkward, the socially anxious, and the people who are not used to popularity.
Vine has a disability. If this story has taught you anything, it's that living life restricted by such a thing is exhausting, and it takes tremendous effort to even touch 'normal,' much less the stress of a romantic relationship.
6600052
And yet despite all her disabilities, she managed not only to achieve a relatively comfortable/successful lifestyle but also hold a small collection of friends, even people she loves, that embody every value the show holds. I'm not holding Vinyl to any standard about the way she lives her life, just hoping that at some point she realizes that if she does nothing, the best of life is going to pass her by and she'll never be able to move on. Always stuck on hating the past, always feeling like the some invisible barrier is pressing down even when the thoughts only exist in her head.
I've been there, it isn't pretty.
And you were there, Auntie Em! And you, and you, and you.
---
6599234
careyblyton.com/media/tv/doctorwho/dalek256.jpg
Explain your feelings to Tavi! EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!
6599820 LOVE CONFESS!
6600664
Same, but comments will have to do.
Poor Vinyl, this is turning into AppleDashery 2.0. She needs to talk to someone and get some advice, maybe with that she'll have the confidence to confess to Tavi.
And now the suffering begins! This is going to be painful.
Tan so much tan