• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Clinical Things

Author's Note:

"Oh, it was more than the mere application of telekinetic magic!" Octavia chimes, her voice an excited pitch of violet. She smirks across the hospital room at our visitors. "From the sound of things, Vine literally shimmied up the tree—like a squirrel—and launched herself horizontally through the air in time to intercept the foal's falling body!"

"Wow!" Lyra grins wide. "No kidding?" She winks over at Bon Bon. "No wonder Vinyl never talks! She's half-rodent!"

"Oh Lyra..." Bon Bon rolls her eyes. "I don't see what that has to do with anything. Honestly."

"Hehe! Still..." Lyra looks back at Tavi and I. "That's pretty wicked sweet! Way to throw yourself through the air like you just don't care!"

I smirk, munching on a bowl of oats. I dig my spoon in and take another bite. Somewhere between twelve and six hours ago, my body's become ravenously hungry. If it weren't for this cast that my leg's dangling in, I swear—I'd have galloped off to Sugarcube Corner and eaten the place clean of doughnuts.

"You know, she might have a tiny bit of pegasus in her," Bon Bon says. "My mother is about one-quarter pegasus. Every now and then, when something really scary or frightening happens, I find myself jumping—like—really high... like I'm supposed to have wings to carry me away from the place or situation. I like to blame it on my great-great grandmother whenever that happens."

"I'd... much rather chalk it up to Vinyl's innate selflessness in the face of adversity," Octavia muses.

"Oh, you'll get no argument from us!" Lyra nods, smirking. "I always knew there was an action hero deep inside the mare, desperate to get out. That's why she makes all the bass drops in her tracks! She's trying to contain the epicness! Isn't that right, Vinyl?"

I burp. The ensuing blast of magenta nearly topples me out of bed, but I hang onto Tavi's purple breaths in time to recover with a bashful smile.

"Well, there goes the rodent theory," Lyra drones. Bon Bon giggles.

There's a knock on the door.

"Do come in!" Octavia says, smiling.

The door opens, and I immediately detect Nurse Redheart's delicate pink voice. "The latest X-Rays are in," she says, shuffling into the room with the photographs in question. She places them against an illuminated board and shows us the faded fracture line of my right leg. "It would seem that Vinyl is making quite the recovery."

"Oh wow..." Bon Bon's jaw drops. "Is... is that even natural?"

Nurse Redheart merely smiles. "Unicorns have a habit of mending quickly from minor fractures. Vinyl is no exception."

"She's right, y'know." Lyra turns to smirk at the other mares. "It's all in the horn." She points at the tip of her skull. "This baby was able fake the flu enough times to give me a miniature vacation from eighth grade!" Bon Bon swats her shoulder. "Wh-what...?! I passed with flying colors!"

"Yes, and all of them black and blue," Bon Bon says, sticking her tongue out.

"This is delightful news, indeed," Octavia says, facing Redheart. "But... uhm... I-I don't suppose that my friend here will be well enough to get back on her hooves by this weekend? We... uhm..." She glances delicately at me. "...we have a somewhat pressing musical engagement at the Castle..."

I blink hard. I can't believe I almost forgot...

"Well... we'll see." Nurse Redheart taps her chin in thought. "So long as she gets plenty of rest and applies as little pressure as possible on her cast, she should be fine—in any case." She glances at Octavia. "Is... this engagement of yours going to be physically strenuous?"

"Uhhhhhh..." Tavi nervously squirms and sweats. "Eh heheheh... well..."

Just then, there's another knock on the door, followed by a silk smooth voice. "I am terribly sorry to be a bother, but... erm... by any chance have you introduced—"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Redheart exclaims. "You... erm... appear to have a visitor?"

Octavia sighs. It is something mirthful, rather than exasperated. "I know that voice anywhere. Do let her in."

The mare in question bursts into the room regardless. She isn't alone. A veritable botanical garden of flowers, bouquets, and wreathes float in after her pale figure. The room is a fragrant mess of floral perfumes. I spot Lyra and Bon Bon in the corner nearly gagging.

"Oh, praise Celestia!" Rarity stammers. Even when floundering over herself, her voice carries a musical quality. The air sparkles around my ears as if aglow with diamonds and sapphires. "I'm so terribly glad that you're awake! I had feared the worst... prepared for the worst. And, in all sincerity..."

Octavia and I mutually wince as the mare slides in on her knees like a groveling canine.

"I am so... so... so exceedingly sorry for what's transpired! I take full responsibility for your injuries and any trauma that they may have induced!" She looks at Red Heart. "Is the good mare insured?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh—"

"Doesn't matter! I shall tend to the mending of her injuries through my own bit bag!" Rarity tilts her chin back with a righteous frown. "A lady never goes back on her word!"

"Miss Rarity, you're far too kind," Tavi says with a frazzled smile. "But it isn't necessar—"

"Uh uh uh! Not a single ounce of protest!" Rarity waves a hoof. "You two are the new royal minstrels, after all! I see it fit to look after your health with the same sort of passion you would look after our mirth!"

"But we haven't even had a single opportunity to perfo—"

"Nevertheless! I stand firm by my conviction! You have saved something very precious to me, after all." She smiles and cups my hooves gently in her forelimbs. Her eyes are glossy, sparkling jewels. "So very... very precious." In an instant, the gloss melts away, replaced by an angry fire. "Speaking of which..." She spins towards the door and snarls: "Young lady? Come inside this instant!"

A blue whimper lights up the room. I feel my heart skip a beat. I glance over—and every other pony is similarly craning her neck.

Through the doorframe, the tiniest of pale faces peeks in. I see a sad frown beneath a limp fluff of two-toned mane hair.

"Sweetie Belle..." Rarity's voice coils back like a spring-loaded pistol.

An audible gulp, and the filly shuffles in, head hanging low. She marches across the room like the sole member of an invisible funeral dirge. When she reaches my bedside, she slumps in place, shoulders shaking.

"Now... like we discussed..." Rarity arches an eyebrow, looming above the foal. "...what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Miss... Miss Scratch?" Sweetie gulps again... then gulps even harder. "Miss Vinyl Scratch? I... uh..." She fidgets... fidgets... "I wanted to say that I was wrong for putting myself in so much danger like I did. Even though I was trying to get a cutie mark, it didn't excuse such a crazy risk."

"Aaaaaaaand...?" Rarity hums.

"And... and..." The filly shakes, sniffles, then throws herself onto my bedside, sobbing up a liquid blue storm. "I'm so sorry I nearly got you killlllledddddd! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

I wince. Octavia, Lyra, and Bon Bon likewise grimace.

"Yes, well..." Rarity blushes slightly, fluffing her own mane and giving us an awkward smile. "Admittedly, I inspired in her a spirit of humility, but I didn't quite ask for such theatrics—"

"I nearly murdered you! Oh goddess!" Sweetie Belle wailed and wailed. "Oh goddess, I'm so very sorrrrrry! Waaaaaaaaaah! I'm a bad filly! A bad bad filllyyyyyy!"

"There there, Sweetie Belle." Rarity pats her shoulder. "I do believe Miss Scratch has gotten the—"

"I dun deserve my cutie markkkkkk!" Sweetie sobs, sniffles, and buries her moaning face against my bed. "I dun deserve to livvvvve! Somepony feed me to the diamond dogs nowwwww!"

"Oh dear..." Octavia bites her lip, glancing aside. "Uhm..."

"Okay, Sweetie Belle. We're convinced of your sincerity!" Rarity grasps the filly's shoulders. "You needn't go on and on like—Aaah!" She falls to the floor as Sweetie Belle pounces on her.

"I love you, Rarityyyy. Pleeeeeease make it a quick execution! Pleeeeeease!" Sweetie Belle sobs into her white chest.

"My coat! Sweetie—you're getting your tears all over my coat!" Rarity moans, rolling her eyes. "Oh, for the love of Celestia..."

"Heh..." Lyra smirks. "And who said hospital visits were boring?" A peach hoof swats across her head again. "Ow!"

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