• Published 26th Jul 2015
  • 10,655 Views, 4,220 Comments

The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Raspy Things

Author's Note:

"I don't get it, Vinyl!" Pinkie Pie blinks from behind the counter at Sugarcube Corner. "What are you even doing here?" A blue hoof swats across her mane. "Owie!"

"Because she's been stuck inside that stuffy hospital for a solid friggin' week, Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash frowns, hovering above us with a jet black voice. "The mare deserves some sunshine and suds, ya melon fudge!"

"Oh! Of course! Heehee! That's me, alright! The fudgiest of melons!" Pinkie sticks her tongue out and shakes her mane back to full fluff. "Dr. Pony, eh, Viney? S'all good, girl." She winks. "It's on the house!"

I exhale, nodding with a thankful breath. As the mare bounces away to fetch me a bottle, Rainbow Dash levitates closer to me.

"I hear things have been a bit sketchy at Ponyville Central ever since Octavia's dad showed up." Her ruby eyes narrow. "Some prize, eh?"

I shake my hoof from side to side and stifle a yawn.

I slept on a bench all night.

Sketchy is sketchy.

"But seriously, from what Twilight and Spike have said, he sounds like a total jerk-face." Her teeth show as she growls in a dark, obsidian tone. Her voice could cut glass, it's so razor-edged. "Maybe having a visit from all Six Members of the Friendship Council will slice his pride down a notch."

I smirk slightly... then shake my head.

"Awwwwww..." Her voice cracks, scratchy and whiney, like a foal's. "Why not? Octavia needs to know that we have her back! All of us!" The coat hairs on the back of her neck rise. "Grrrrrr... that friggin' Talonsuck. When he attacked Tavi, he attacked all of us, y'know! We're all in it on this... mmmrrrr... Friendship Train together, y'know?"

I adjust my shades and squint at her.

"H-hey! Don't look at me like that! So maybe I suck at metaphors! But you catch my drift!" She clears her raspy throat. "Anyways, if Octavia's dad is bothering her, then it's up to the rest of us to show him where the line is drawn, y'know?"

With a muffled sigh, I stare across Sugarcube Corner.

That's just the issue.

He's not done anything...


... ... ...exist?

And is that such a crime?

I'd ask Octavia, but she's out for the count at the moment. And, besides, no amount of friendship or good will can change how sour that relationship between father and daughter has gone.

I lean my head down, rubbing my hoof over my muzzle and shades.


I know you're getting better...


I can't help it...

I can't help being selfish...

I want to hear you...

I want to feel the texture of your words...

I want to wrap myself up in your voice and revel in that sweet, toasty mirth...

It's been a bleak world without you this past week... all tan and turquoise...

It almost feels like... like...

...like I never climbed down to begin with.

Is this what it would be like?

After an eternity, Pinkie returns, slapping the bottle down onto the tabletop.

"There ya go, music mare!" She winks. "Ice cold and extra bubbly! Go to town—"

Swooosh! My hoof yanks the thing off the table and I guzzle down its contents liberally.

"Whoah! Hah!" Rainbow Dash giggles. "We've got a regular chugmeister here!"

"Heehee! You think from being in a hospital all way, she wouldn't touch anything with the word 'Doctor' on it!"

"Yeah! Hahahaha!"


I drink and drink.

Oh... silly... silly ponies.

I slap the half-empty bottle down, my body shaking, quivering. I feel a veritable explosion rising up my gut.

"Wuh oh! Volcano time!"

"Let it out, girl!"

I shake my head, raising a hoof. After a few trembling seconds, I soften the belch, allowing it to escape softly through my nose and ears. My world ripples magenta, and then falls back softly upon a green hum.


That was close.

Wouldn't have been the first time a belch nearly knocked me out... but usually that's when I have Beau around.

"Y'know, Viney." Pinkie Pie leans across the counter with a smile. "When all of this is said and done, and Tavi's back on her healthy hoofsies, I intend to throw you both the biggest party!"

I blink at her. I point at myself.

"Yes! The both of you!"

I pale slightly. My heart pounds.

"It'd be a double felicitous feature!" Pinkie pumps a hoof in the air. "For Tavi, it'll be a 'Welcome Back Home from the Hospital Party!' And for you, it'd be 'Welcome Back from Preparing Your Best Bestie for Returning Home from the Hospital Party!' Heehee! Isn't that great? What kind of icing should the cake have? Oh! I know! Fudgemelon! Hah!"

"Y'know, Pinkie..." Rainbow floats closer to her, voice thin and dark, like fuzzy black yarn. "Only you can make something sound so lame and yet so awesome all at once."

"I know! Hehe! It's a gift!"

"Heh, if you say so."

I smirk. Then I jolt in place, my ears pricking.

Rainbow and Pinkie both look surprised. "What is it, girl?" Pinkie chirps.

They can't hear it... the panicked crimson clops of galloping hooves... or the amber breaths attached to them.

I spin around before she even bursts through the door.

"Vinyl!" Lyra exclaims. "You gotta come quick! Rainbow Dash! Please! Got fetch the Princess!"

"Why?" Rainbow blinks, flying closer. "What's wrong?!"

Lyra looks at me, sweating.

"It's... it's Opulence," she squeaks.

My heart skips a beat.

"He's preparing to take Tavi b-back to Trottingham!"

And then it plummets.

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