• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Useless Things

Author's Note:

"I haven't see you in forever!" Flash Sentry says, his vibrant blue eyes alive with very real joy. There's a gold sheen to his brown voice, like glittering comet tails across the school hallway. "Like, literally! Months!"

He pivots towards me with a smile.

"Heya, Vinyl!" He holds his palm up high. "'Sup?"

"... ... ...?" I stare at it. I stare at him.

"O—kay!" Smiling nervously, he smoothes back his blue bangs and blushes a bit. "So... uh... are you two putting the band back together or what?"

"Actually... we're... uhm..." Twilight fidgets. Just then, her violet eyes blink wide. "...Yes! That's precisely it! The Rainbooms and I are... putting the band back together!"

"I knew it! H-hey!" He chuckles. "That's awesome! Ever since the Battle of the Bands, the entire school has been itching for an encore! At least... eheheh... a performance that doesn't involve a bunch of nasty monsters from another world preying on us."

"Heh... I know, right?"

"And with you doing lead vocals..." Flash Sentry winks. The monkey's skin practically glitters. What the buck...? "...I'm sure every listening person alive would be hypnotized. I mean... eheh... in a good way."

"Ehhh... eh hee hee hee hee hee..." Twilight Sparkle stands pigeon-toed, twirling and toying with her mane hair. There is no word in the dictionary to properly describe the precise saturation of severe redness burning through her facial muscles. And this is me narrating. "Yes, well... uhhhh... I-I guess I've b-been practicing in the sh-shower." She gulps. Hard. "Singing, that is."

"Hah... sure thing. Say..." Flash leans forward and I'm almost surprised that Twilight hasn't melted then and there. "...last period will be over in the next fifty minutes. Would you like to hang out at Sugarcube Cafe later? Like old times?"

Old... times...?

"I've been dying to catch up with how you've been doing lately," he says, gesturing. "Seems like every time I see you, you're having to rush off and deal with one magical threat or another."

"Yes... well... uhm..." She fumbles. She squeaks: "As much as I'd love to, Flash, I-I'm afraid I've already promised Applejack, Rainbow Dash and the others that I'd... y'know..." She points at me, then at herself, then at... the sky? I dunno. "Getting the band back together! Eheheh!'

"Oh. Oh... uh... s-sure!" He smiles, his voice turning browner, fractured and blue along the edges. The lump in his throat resonates like an iron meteor from afar. Nevertheless, he hides it all behind a suave grin. "Hey, a promise is a promise, right! And after all... I'm... uh... a guy who appreciates commitment!" He winks and snaps a finger. "Heheheh... am I-I right?"

"Yup. Sure thing. Okay. Bye!" And Twilight gallops... runs off, dragging me by a hand.

I see a little silhouette of a man, wilting. His voice is warm, but the lungs frigid. "Alright... uhm... so long, Twilight." This is followed by a deep blue sigh, and I almost feel sorry for him.


Two hallways down, and Twilight's scamper turns into a swift march. I shuffle behind her, gazing at the back of her head.

Sighing, she glances over her shoulder—then winces upon receiving my shaded glare. She tries to look ahead, to ignore the burning sensation in her upper spine. At last, she shuffles to a slow limp, muttering to the lockers so that her gray voice echoes back towards me:

"Okay, look. It's not what you think."

I arch an eyebrow.

"Ugh... fine. It is what you think, but not as bad."

I tilt my head to the side.

"When I first came here, I bumped into the guy... literally... more than once. And there's just something so... so sweet and warm about him." She gulps dryly. "When I was feeling very lost and out of sorts, just him offering a kind hand to help me back to my feet made a whole world of a difference. I started to gain my balance, and each time I saw him after that... I... I-I felt this joyous sensation come over me. And I could see it in him too... like a spark in his eyes. A different kind of spark and—"

I cough, reeling slightly from the magenta outburst. It's worth it to keep from gagging.

"Eugh!" She twirls to face me. "Vinyl, whatever you're thinking, just... get it out of your head!" She folds her arms with a frown. "It's not like that whatsoever. Honest! He might think it is, but it's not. After all..." She hugs herself tighter, turning to face the lockers with a nervous shudder. "...back in Equestria, I've got Flash. The Flash." She gulps. "The only Flash that matters. This one? Here in this world?" She shakes her head. "Impossible. Simply... can't happen. And I'd be fooling myself to think... to th-think that..."

I squint at her.

She sighs, her voice taking on a tan color, as if it's always hidden behind the gray dam of her royal pretense and wisdom. "Anyways, that's not what we're here for. The other Vinyl is in trouble, and I've got no time to waste on... useless things." She frowns. "Let's get to the audio visual club on the double!" And she tugs me by my hand. "Quick! It's this way!"

I stumble after her. With a quiet breath, I turn and look over my shoulder, gazing down the empty lengths of the school hallways... imagining them feeling even emptier.

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