• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Inebriated Things

Author's Note:

Lyra nearly chokes on her drink. She places her glass down, swallows the wine, then catches her breath while smiling across the restaurant patio table. "You let Vinyl perform first?!"

I look up from my bowl of hay alfredo, eyebrow raised. What in the buck is that supposed to mean?

"What in blazes is that supposed to mean?" Octavia blurts, brow furrowed. "We always have Vinyl perform at venues first. She knows how to warm up a crowd. And... besides..." With a bashful smile, she leans back, mixing her violet breath with her dark wine glass as she takes a sip. "I need the extra time to compose myself. To 'get in the zone,' as t'were."

"True, but... remember... Twilight Sparkle has both Fluttershy and Rarity as members of her Royal Council." Lyra smiles coyly. "And as long as I've known either of them, they've never struck me as fans of loud music."

"Oh, Vinyl's music isn't loud," Octavia says, smiling briefly at me. "It's simply..." She motions with a hoof. "...assertive."

Lyra giggles. "Then how come I'm always seeing you with your hooves over your ears whenever we both attend a DJ-P0N3 session?"

I let loose a humored squeak. My whole world burns in magenta, and Bon Bon has to reach over to steady me. No longer reeling in my seat, I grasp a glass of water from the table and wash the giggles down, meanwhile smiling in Octavia's direction.

She's red as a beet, and night couldn't be any happier. "Just because I appreciate the tonal qualities of my roommate's work does not mean that my eardrums have to drown in it just as liberally." She cleared her throat and leans back, swirling her wine glass. "And, if you must know, Fluttershy and Rarity enjoyed Vinyl's session just fine. Fluttershy is a doll, so you needn't fret about her. As for Rarity—I'm a continuous client of hers at the Carousel Boutique, and I happen to know that she thinks the world of me. So, even if she did harbor some secret distaste for Vinyl's... modern stylings, she's more than willing to weather the storm so that she might enjoy the full package."

"Or do you mean your package," Bon Bon adds with a wink.

Octavia rolls her eyes, then giggles in sweet violet volleys. "Well, yes, I must say... she and Fluttershy were rather smitten with my performance." She takes another dainty sip of wine and then adds: "But they were even more impressed by our duet in the end."

Bon Bon looks my way. "Vinyl, is this true?"

Tavi said it. Why wouldn't it be? Nevertheless, I nod.

"Wow..." Bon Bon leans back with a warm grin. "Sounds like you mares stole the show!"

"And we expected no less!" Octavia says. "Unless, of course... erm..." She bites on her lip, instantly regretting the path she has just steered the conversation.

Lyra doesn't. The unicorn laughs, smoothing her mane back with a smile. "Yes. I get it." She winks. "I would totally have given you girls the run for the bits. But... y'know... it just wouldn't be my bag."

"Being a royal minstrel is a stressful, weighty responsibility," Bon Bon adds.

"Though I'd be tickled pink to have won the respect of Twilight Sparkle and her Council... well..." Lyra squirms.

"She'd hate having to clean up the castle after herself," Bon Bon says, winking.

"B.B.!" Lyra protests, eyes rolling. "Must you in public?"

"Why not?" Bon Bon leans over to nuzzle her. "I do even worst in private."

"Guhhhhh—" Lyra quivers all over, her eyes wide. "Duaaaaaaah—" She looks over at Octavia and I with a dumb smile. "—so you guys think you smoked the competition, huh?!"

"Oh Lyra..." Octavia sighs, slumping slightly in her chair. "There's no doubt that Vinyl and I have unique talents... both mesmerizing and eclectic." She gulps. "But... only time will tell just how Twilight and her friends vote."

"Still, it would be a pretty good step up for the two of you," Bon Bon says.

"Hrmmm..." Octavia's jaw clenches as she stares lethargically at her wine glass. "Don't I know it?" She looks aside at me. "Not that Vinyl needs any more of a boost, of course."

"Yeah!" Lyra giggles. "She's only—what—the most famous DJ this side of Manehattan?"

I sigh through a tired smile. Ohhhhhhh Lyra, not this again...

"I swear, if anypony knew she actually lived here in Ponyville, there'd be a mob everyday for sure!"

"Really?!" Bon Bon's jaw gapes. "I didn't realize she was that big!" She instantly winces. "Erm... no offense, Vinyl."

"Are you kidding?" Lyra winks my way. "Lucky for Vinyl, her ally in the field—Roadie Beau—keeps his muzzle shut about Ponyville. Pffft... I'm not sure I'd have that much composure."

"If Vinyl wanted to soak in the adoration, I'm sure she could just trot on over to Canterlot and present herself in the middle of any random shopping district," Octavia says, taking a sip. "Either way, I'm immensely proud of her."

My world floods with deep purple, and I have to grip the edge of the table hard.

"Awwww... well of course you would be," Bon Bon says in a happy voice.

"Oh, it goes much deeper than that," Octavia says. "After all, Vinyl's always had an innate talent. She simply didn't unlock it until... until..." She pauses, blinking, then looks my way. Her features melt slightly, like a deer in headlights. "Mmmm... well... I-I suppose I've prattled on enough. The rest is up to Vinyl to share someday, if she so chooses."

I simply smile at her. It's true. Tavi's saved more than just my life..."

"Mmmm..." Octavia places the glass back down on the table. "I do believe that's enough wine for me tonight."

"Wow." Lyra does a double-take. "Never thought I'd hear that spoken out loud! And by you of all ponies!"

"Miss Heartstrings, please," Octavia gently chides. "Just because I love the quaff so, doesn't mean that I'm in the position to be carried home..."

"Yes, that would be quite embarrassing," Bon Bon says with a giggle.

I nod at her, then point at Octavia. Immediately afterwards, I gesture to my backside and nod again with a wink.

"You mean that happened once?!" Bon Bon blurts, then explodes in golden laughter. "Oh Celestia, that is toooo rich!"

"Hah hah hah!" Lyra joins in.

"Vine!" Octavia clenches her teeth, cheeks burning red. "I-I didn't go on and on about your past mistakes! Honestly..."

While our friends continue to giggle, I shrug at my roommate with a helpless grin.

"Mrmmff... to Tartarus with all of you." She swipes her glass back up from the table and takes a swig. "Urp!—if we land the minstrel positions, I'm ordering the royal guards to put your names on a list. I—Urp!—swear."

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