• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Paternal Things

Author's Note:

I stand in place.

All of the aches of my limbs are gone. I suppose that's what happens when your blood heats to a boil. Things melt.

"Hmmm...?" The rich stallion blinks at me, as if surprised that I'm still within spitting range. "What are you still standing around here for? I told you that I have things taken care of, didn't I?" He sighs, eyes rolling across me and the hospital walls. "I keep forgetting. Are you deaf or dumb? I know it's one or the other..."

"Actually..." Lyra trots forward, clearing her throat. "She's a genius."

"Now that's quite a curious way of putting it," the stallion yawns. "And who might you be, darling?"

"Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings." She curtsies with a steadfast smile. Her yellow eyes pierce, as does her voice. "Octavia's close friend."

"Mmmm... now all of the mistakes are coming together."

Lyra blinks.

"Well, do be off. The both of you." He waves a hoof, his indigo dipping even deeper into brown. "While your compassion is greatly appreciated, it's far from needed. What Octavia needs right now is a swift recovery... even if she hasn't earned it."

"Uhhm... do pardon us, sir," Bon Bon says, trotting up alongside us. "But we have no intention of leaving without visiting Octavia."

"Well, that's quite a shame," he drones. "Seeing as you won't be doing anything of the sort."

"Erm... maybe we started off on the wrong hoof." Bon Bon leans forward. "How exactly do you know Octavia?"

"I brought her into this world, dear. That's how." The stallion adjusts his tie with a sigh. "Trust me. There's not a day that goes by without my being reminded of it with her blatant, passive-aggressive silence. But that's young mares for you, and I seek to amend that... after I've looked after her healthy recuperation, that is."

Lyra squints. "You're Tavi's father?"

"Good Goddess. Is that the insufferably trite designation she goes by these days? 'Tavi?'" A heavy shudder. "Bust my bank doors, I knew I should have intervened sooner." Nevertheless, he clears his throat. "Indeed, dear confused citizen, my name is Opulence Von Melody, and the mare in that room who suffered needless violence at the garrishly-labeled 'Friendship Gala' is—however ironically—my last remaining blood relation. It is familial obligation that I oversee to her recovery. You need not worry. I have the finest resources at my disposal, not to mention financial support. She will get better. And—Celestia-willing—she will come to her senses about a lot of... other unhealthy choices as of late. Now you may go."

Bon Bon looks at me, then gawks at the stallion. "Uhhh... we have no intention of leaving, Mr. Melody."

"Well, if you wish to mingle in the stairwell and twiddle your hooves, that's your prerogative. Not as if ponies have anything better to do in this lazy peasant town."

"'Mingle in the stairwell?'" Lyra cackles.

"Well, surely you don't expect to actually visit her!" Opulence squints down at us. He's as tall as his words and just as filthy. "My daughter needs rest, relaxation, and the loyal guidance of her father. I can't afford to have any of that disturbed by some bothersome nuisance."

"Excuse us, Mr. Melody, but we're not a nuisance." Bon Bon frowns. "We're her friends."

"Mmmm... yes. I do suppose she's convinced herself of that."


"Let's see... how can I put this in simple terms for plebeian ears...?" He clears his throat before letting the glittery indigo flow. "For the last decade or so—ever since she blossomed forth from her teenage years—my darling daughter has been on something of a stubborn streak. I've tolerated it for so long, lovingly and wisely chiding her through written letters—all of which she's staunchly ignored. Now look where it's ended her?" He shakes his head. "Well, I shall be a failure no longer. It's time that I intervened on my daughter's life before another incident tears her down a notch. It's wretched enough that she's allowed herself to sink to such an impoverished low in this pathetic farm town. But—that's what happens when you encourage music, art, and whimsy. There's no foundation to any of it, and now is the time that I rescue her from the wreckage of all that she's presumed to build on her own."

I'm gnashing my teeth so hard that the sound of it nearly makes me faint.

"Uhm... doesn't Octavia get a say in all this?" Lyra remarks.

"When she next wakes up, I intend to talk her back to her senses," Opulence says, brushing off his coat. "After all, this has been a long time coming. But that is none of your concern. Be gone." He turns to trot back to her room.

"Hey... Hey!" Bon Bon stomps a hoof, drawing the attention of several nurses and orderlies. "You can't just do this!"

"I'm sorry. I did not catch your name, dear."

"It's Bon Bon!"

"Naturally. A title befitting marketable junk food. How quaint." He sniffs. "Madame, I can and will do this. She is my daughter. She was a concern of mine long before she ran away from home and got mixed up with you backwater harpies."


"And if you do not cease harassing me over the issue, then I shall summon security forthwith."

"What?!" Bon Bon reels, eyes wide. "Summon security?! I—"

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Melody." The corridor fills with gray. I feel like doing backflips. Twilight trots up with Spike at her side... along with two armored guards. "I am the security for Octavia," she says in a calm tone, nearly deflating the passion of the moment. "Since what happened to her transpired at the Gala, I have taken it upon myself to protect the mare. It's the least I can do."

"Your Highness." Opulence bows immediately. There is no light in his eyes, just an icy stare as he stands back up. "I am indebted to you and what you have done to rescue my daughter from her plight. So much so... that I am willing to overlook the obvious flaw in your Castle's defenses that allowed the griffon vagrant to assault her in the first place."

"Why thank you, Mr. Melody," Twilight breathes. "I'm certain you respect the fact that we are all striving to improve ourselves."

"Name a number, Your Majesty," Opulence says. "And I assure you my investors will pay you handsomely for what you have done today. We can even fund you stronger, more solid fortifications to your crystalline bastion."

"My concern for your daughter is not a question of money, Mr. Melody," Twilight says. "I've come to value her as a trusted friend." She draws Lyra, Bon Bon and I close with her lavender wings. "As have these mares right here... and many more ponies much like them."

Opulence takes a deep breath. "I see..."

"And it would benefit future relations between the Melody family and the Royal Castle of Friendship... if you acknowledged the importance of Octavia's friends, and respected their mutual desire to visit each other." She raised an eyebrow. "Is that perfectly clear?"

He nods. "Crystal clear, Your Majesty." His brow furrows. "'Understood' is another matter. But, I—for one—am willing to give it the benefit of a doubt."

Twilight smiles calmly. "So long as one of us is."

"They may be allowed to visit Octavia." Opulence raises a hoof. "But only because of your insistence on the matter. Let us not forget that I am her family, and Equestrian Law dictates that the Melody Estate and the surviving representatives thereof reserve full rights to the patient's well-being, should anything further happen to her."

"Well, let us hope that she does nothing but recover," Twilight says. "That is what you're here to overlook, yes?"

He takes a deep breath. "Yes, Princess. Now, if you'll kindly excuse me." He bows once more, turns tail, and trots off to speak to his servants."

Twilight takes a deep breath while Lyra and Bon Bon stare at one another. I'm a shivering mess at this point.

Spike, in the meantime, clears his throat. "Can I be the first to say it?"

"Not now, Spike," Twilight quietly grumbles.

"Pleeeeeease?" Spike looks around, then leans towards the Princess, whispering: "It rhymes with 'ease of wit.'"

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