• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Grand Things

Author's Note:

"Our first performance will be this coming weekend," Octavia says, pausing to take a sip from a tall glass of water. She places it down, swallows, and smiles across the table. "The Princess describes it as a 'rehearsal.' To be honest, I think she just wants to get a feel for our musical range. From what I understand, the rest of the Council will be there."

Lyra cocks her head to the side. "You mean Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and the like?"

"Precisely." Octavia nods, straightening her bangs in the restaurant's light. "As royal minstrels, we'll be at the beck and call of all of Princess Twilight's close friends—as well as our beloved monarch herself. I suspect that they want to see just how well we perform to their preferred flavors."

"Wow." Bon Bon blinks. "That sounds like quite a workout you have in store!"

"Oh, I doubt it will be that much beyond our abilities." Octavia smiles, glancing aside at me. "I do believe that Rarity's and Fluttershy's tastes are of the same degree of refinement as my own. Applejack's country adoration for the banjo and fiddle is something I find rustically charming, so I'm sure I can conform quite comfortably. And, as blasphemous as it sounds, I find the Princess to be rather easy to please." Octavia pauses to let loose a deep purple chuckle. Then her voice sighs, dipping slightly into indigo. "It's Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie that I'll inevitably find some struggle in entertaining."

"Well, it's a good thing you've got Vinyl by your side!" Lyra says, winking in my direction. "Nothing better than the best party DJ for Ponyville's biggest party animals!"

"Yes... eheh..." Octavia glances at me with a velvety smile. "When you're a musician, it's best to keep in... eclectic company. Isn't that right, Vine?"

I nod and raise my cup of Dr. Pony in a toast.

Just call me Princess of Eclectic.

"I do believe that—with our musical gifts combined—we can fill in any discordant niche that presents itself." Tavi winces slightly at her own words. "I mean that figuratively. H-hopefully not literally..."

"Hah! You never know." Lyra grins. "Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, after all. You might be performing for sentient manticores by the month's end, at the rate she's doing her ambassadorial stuff."

"Well, I think it's all for the best!" Bon Bon insists. "And it's so nice to know that the two of you are at the helm now!"

"Goodness gracious, Bon Bon!" Tavi exclaims. Her violet voice dances across the walls of the finely lit establishment. "We're just royal musicians! It's not like we're official delegates for Her Highness!" She takes another sip of water. "Although... that would have a certain ring to it."

"You're gonna be sitting pretty in the Castle, representing all of Equestria through music," Lyra says. "Ha! Could anything ever be more envious?"

"Lyra, silly, if you wanted to apply—" Bon Bon begins.

"Pfft! And steal these girls' thunder?" Lyra rolls her eyes. "Face it. I hate crowds. But these two? They were built for the spotlight!" She claps her hooves together. "I'd say you deserve this more than anypony."

I wince slightly from the crimson clouds rolling from Lyra's forelimbs. Thankfully, Octavia's purple velvetiness disrupts the cascade. "We have certainly worked very hard, but the true challenge is up ahead. Waiting for us."

"Still, you can certainly rest on some laurels," Bon Bon says. "Right? You've got to step into a Royal Castle more times in a week than most ponies do in a life time!"

"Mmmmmm... quite true..." Octavia leans back in her chair, her eyes full of stars. "We've seen the throne room! The Royal Library! The crystalline chandelier of the foyer!" Just now, she gasps deeply, her breath taking on a triply melodic tone. "And then... after our briefing... the absolute most lovely thing happened on our way to the exit!"

I clench my teeth hard while my muscles tighten up.

"Oh yeah?" Lyra and Bon Bon lean forward. "What happened?"

I shut my eyes tight, gripping the table in anticipation—

"Princess Twilight took us on a tour of the upper floors! Isn't that amazing?"

I relax with a magenta exhale. Sweating, I take a swift swig of Dr Pony.

"We got to see the Royal Treasury and the Twilight Sparkle's study room! Oh, girls, I swear... it's positively majestic!"

"Well, that's a heck of a lot better than negatively moronic!" Lyra says with a giggle.

Bon Bon lightly swats her shoulder. "Goof-off..." She looks at Octavia with a smile. "How about some red wine to celebrate the occasion? Seems only fitting."

"Ohhhhh no no no no..." Octavia shakes her head and waves a hoof. "I can't. Thanks, but it just wouldn't be proper."

"Wouldn't be proper?!" Bon Bon gapes in my direction. "Vinyl, has a changeling replaced your roommate?"

"Normally, I would give in. However..." Octavia takes a deep breath. "...the times coming up will be most trying, and it's best that I keep myself in touch with my full faculties."

"Well, I guess that makes sense."

"Besides..." Octavia adds. "...I must be undergoing a physical this week, and it would be quite the disaster if I showed even the slightest sign of inebriation."

"Wait... you mean like a doctor's office physical?" Lyra asks.

"No, Lyra, she's opting out of trivia on a game show," Bon Bon says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, what's up with that?" Lyra cackles. "Why would they want their minstrels to get a checkup?"

"I can think of a lot of reasons," Bon Bon remarks. She looks Octavia's way. "They'll constantly be in the presence of Equestria's newest Princess. I can imagine the Royal Ministry wanting everypony to be in their best shape... sans contagious symptoms and the like."

"Ahhh. I guess that makes sense."

"And it's not nearly as discomforting as it sounds," Octavia says with a smile. "The Princess is fully funding it for us. She's even assigning us her royal physician!"

"H-hey! Free health insurance!" Bon Bon winks. "That's nothing to sneeze at whatsoever!"

"Oh yeah?" Lyra points across the table. "Then why's Vinyl looking less-than-pleased?"

I don't realize how heavily I'm scowling until I hear this. With a wince, I adjust my shades and look away from the table.

"Awwww... don't mind her," Octavia says, and I can sense her tail swishing behind her seat. "Sometimes, once a little filly, always a little filly."

"Yes, but... all things considered..." Lyra stops in mid-speech, tonguing the inside of her mouth. She decides to drop it, smiling in Octavia's direction instead. "Ah well. I'm so happy for you girls." She wraps an arm around Bon Bon's side. "We're so happy for you girls!"

"Yes, well, we aim to please," Octavia remarks, swirling her glass of water as if it was filled with something far redder. She looks my way with a sweet smile. "And now... we're about to be pleasing ponies' ears on a grand scale. Yes?"

The luxurious violet of her voice is just too much to resist. I grin back, sighing my concerns away on a magenta breeze.

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