• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Sloppy Things

Author's Note:

"Oh yeah," Lyra Heartstrings says, grinning. "Oh yeah, girl!" She grins wider. "I'm loving it! Loving it real hard!"

I smirk proudly from where I sit across from her in the studio. A record player twirls between us, broadcasting my latest mix through a pair of crackling speakers. The air is an inside-out rainbow threatening to burst, held together by a tightly-woven rhythm. The beat picks up, interlaced with nondescript vocals that tantalize the tempo to zoom faster, faster.

"Just how long did you work on this?!"

I aim my horn at the table. Levitating a pen, I scratch seven hash-marks across a clipboard's paper sheet.

"Seven hours?"

I nod.

"Well, it shows!" she chirps, her golden voice lifting bravely against the waves of sonic color. It's a different kind of gold with Lyra, like a tapering amber, dying and living all at once. I'm almost as excited to hear it as she is to hear my newest mix. "Wow, this thing is tight! Are... are those actually my harp samples being used to introduce the second movement?"

I nod yet again. A smug grin.

"Wow..." She smooths her bangs back. "That's killer." She gulps hard, overcome by what I can only imagine is an air of unnecessary humility. "I never thought my own strings would be bracing the dance clubs of DJ-P0N3."

I roll my eyes, adjusting my shades before pointing at the speakers. At precisely that moment, the bass drops, and we're both deliciously assaulted by a playful tango of harpstrings and vocal samples, rising and falling against a backdrop of hard snares.

"Hooo-boy!" Lyra chuckles, nodding with approval. "Real sick!" A pale body flounces into the room, tidying things up. "Hey Bon Bon! You should give this thing a listen!"

"More of Vinyl's disco grooves, hmmm?"

"Dammit, Bon Bon, it's not disco!" Lyra wheezes, frowning. "This is Vinyl's latest mix! Listen! She's even got my harp samples used all throughout! Isn't that sweet?"

"So... it's Lyra flavored disco?" the earth pony remarks, tongue sticking out.

"Guhhh!" Lyra rolls her eyes, flopping back in her chair. "Darn it, Bon Bon! If you weren't my best friend..."

"Best maid is more like it," the mare grumbles, picking up random paper plates and empty soda cans. "I swear, if you lived on your own, this studio would be a landfill by now."

Lyra shrugs. "So I'm creatively chaotic... or is it chaotically creative?"

"Either way, it's a pain in the flank."

I whistle and point towards a blue receptacle where an empty bottle of Dr. Pony neatly rests.

"Well, Celestia's blessings, Vinyl," Bon Bon muses with a playful curtsy. "Nice to know that somepony here has a sophomoric grasp on politeness."

"Hey Bon Bon." Lyra smirks from across the room. "How did you enjoy cashing in those polite checks of mine at the bank yesterday afternoon?"

"Lyra, that's—" Bon Bon gnashes her teeth, shakes, then ends her momentary tantrum with two puffy cheeks. "That's unfair and you know it."

"Hah hah hah!"

"Ughhh..." Bon Bon rolls her eyes. Try as she might to look frustrated, her voice takes on a radiant hue of orange that snuffs out the crimson. It's like Scribbler's purring, only deeper... softer. It only happens when she and her best friend are in the same room together, or so I've noticed. "You two enjoy your discotheque demo-ing. I've got... stuff to do in the other room."

She marches off, and I swivel in my chair to glance at Lyra with raised eyebrows.

She sighs and nods, ignoring the mix at this point. She's not alone. "Okay, that wasn't too fair of me. Bon Bon does more than enough to carry her weight around here. After all, she works for... for..." Lyra's eyes go wide suddenly, and her amber voice cracks, shattering into white and gold bands. After a nervous fidget or two, she clears her throat and wheezes: "...for a v-very successful law firm."

I blink.

"But yeah, killer track, Vinyl!" She rolls her chair closer to the speakers. "This will be great for your next session. Where's it gonna be this month?"

I grab the clipboard again and draw a sketch of an overturned wagon caught on fire.

"Heh... Baltimare?"

I nod.

"Pffft. Good friggin' luck with that." She strokes her bangs back, leaning an ear towards the speakers once more. "But if anypony could calm the masses, it's you." Her brow furrows. "Seriously, though, it's the vocals that make this track so awesome. I... I can't quite put my hoof on it. Where did you get the samples from?"

I bite my lip. The speakers are resonating with a thick purple sheen, tapering off into scrumptious indigo fragments.

"Lemme guess... Manehattan Underground? Those archives run deep, girl."

I answer by not answering. Popping open a fresh bottle of Dr. Pony, I take a mighty swig and smile nervously in the unicorn's direction.

"Watch it, DJ. My best friend's fastidious and all, but Bon Bon doesn't clean up after drool."

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