• Published 26th Jul 2015
  • 10,650 Views, 4,220 Comments

The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Spiked Things

Author's Note:

Crimson gunshots.

I wince.

Again... like red meteorites against the apartment's foundation.

I grumble and turn over, exhaling my magenta frustrations into the bedcovers.

At last, I sit up, rubbing my head and horn.

There's somepony... someone knocking at the front door.

What time is it?

I reach out to my bedside table, fumble around, then grasp my shades. Slipping them over my head, I limp and shuffle my way out of my bedroom and into the foyer. The crimson echoes are definitely emanating from the front door. There's no question at this point. I try to detect the voice from the other end... the breaths of the one responsible for this kaizo midnight craziness.

"Vinyl Scratch? Are you in there? Please, open the door. Uhm... emergency royal business!"


Well that was unexpected...

I don't recognize the voice. It's not a guard. It's not brown enough to be... ... ...him.

Then just who in Equestria...?

More thudding knocks.

"Please, Vinyl. This is super important. Twilight sent me here to get you! Super important!"

At last, I grasp the doorknob with my magic and yank it open. A tiny dragon whelp gasps, falling forward as he attempts to knock into nothing.

I breathe a sigh of relief, smiling slightly.

Oh, it's just Spike.

I blink. Hard.

Wait, Spike???

"Oh, g-good!" He gets up, smiling dizzily. "You're up!"

I still haven't quite gotten a good fix on his voice. Maybe it's because he's not a pony. My senses don't work quite so instantly on non-equines. Although Talonsmith was something of an exception. And then there was that sea serpent at the wedding... and....


What in Tartarus is even going on here?

"Please! You have to come to the Castle! Super quick!"

I teeter sleepily. I pivot to the side, my shades reflecting cold blue moonlight from beyond the windows.

"Yeah. Yeah! I know it's super late! But it's not my choice! Honest!" Spike gulped, pacing back and forth as he wrings his little-little claws. "It's Twilight! She sent me to get you! And only you!"

I arch an eyebrow.

"She says this is an important mission that requires a pony of your specific talents! She didn't explain to me why, or what's at stake. Only that she 'needed Vinyl Scratch right away' and 'not to tell anypony else!' You've gotta believe me!"

I bit my lip, fidgeting slightly.

"Come on! Please, Vinyl! As... as a Royal Minstrel to Her Highness, Princess Twilight, you're bound to serve her in any degree! That includes life and limb... of m-music! Music peril! Y'know!"

I trot a few steps forward. I crane an ear towards him, twitching it upright as I gaze into abject nothingness.

"What... uh..." He flinches away from me, squirming slightly. "Wh-what exactly are you doing?"

My forehead scrunches.


Not a changeling.

I lean back with a sigh.

Changelings almost always emit a distinct copper buzzing. I was a real treat a year ago at Canterlot Castle.

"So... uhm... will you come help Twilight with... er... her thing?"

Before I can so much as lift a hoof...

"Vine...?" Indigo ripples drift my way.

"Oh jeez! Miss Melody!" Spike winces, biting the edges of his claws. "I'm s-so sorry about this!"

Wincing, I spin around.

A tired lump of velvet floof leans against the doorframe to her bedroom. She cradles a feline source of orange vibrations in her forelimbs. "Is... mmmm... everything okay, love?"

I nod vehemently, gesturing for her to trot back to bed.

"Mmmmff... okay then..." Tavi rubs her eyes, yawns gorgeously, and slumps back towards her domain. "...be sure to... feed the porpoises... with cycloptic squirrel feed... mmmff..."

A stupid smile briefly flashes across my muzzle.

"Uhm... what's with her calling you 'love' all the time?"

I shove Spike out of the house.

"Gah!" He falls on his tail with a red burst.

I storm out and slam the door shut behind me. With a heavy exhale, I yank him back onto his feet and point angrily at the Castle.

"Erm... right! No time to waste!" And he waddles off.

I sigh, shuffling tiredly after him, leaving a cloud of delightful purple snores far behind me.

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