• Published 26th Jul 2015
  • 10,579 Views, 4,220 Comments

The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Sliced Things

Author's Note:

To be honest, the inside of Sugarcube Corner has always been very... very colorful.

I just haven't noticed until now.

Right now... as I sit with Octavia in the center of a gigglish maelstrom of voices, breaths, melodies-in-the-making.

Fluttershy's terry cloth pink and Twilight's wise gray and Applejack's countrified amber and Pinkie Pie's cheerful gold and Rainbow Dash's scratchy black...

And on top of it all, the merry percussion of diamonds, courtesy of Rarity, lifting the purple out of Tavi's lungs with salvo after salvo of silky-smooth flattery.

"Oh, but you must try it! With a mane that luscious, it would positively glitter, darling!"

"Oh, Rarity, I've considered it. Believe me, I have. But I'm afraid that I'm not entirely comfortable with other ponies touching my mane... or my hooves, for that matter."

Raspy black. "Hah! I knew there was a way she and I could connect! Brrrbrbrrrr... freakiest feeling in the world, girl!"

"I used to feel queesy about getting my mane done by another pony." Wispy pink. "For years, I just let one of my older siblings do it. But then Rarity talked me into making a trip to Aloe and Lotus' spa one day and... heehee... well, I guess you could call it a transformative experience!"

"She's been going with me at least once a week ever since! Octavia, darling, if Fluttershy was to go with us, would it make you more comfortable?"

"I... I really can't. I do apologize."

Chiming gold. "Princess Twilight could always order Octavia to go! A Pony Pedi Imperative by the Pony Pedi Princess!"

"No I wouldn't, Pinkie!" A gray giggle. "Honestly! Octavia is more than capable of... erm... keeping up appearance for royal functions. Besides... it's not like she even needs much work, quite frankly."

Black scratches. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Simply that our new fiddlin' gal pal has a natural beauty all on her own." Amber apple scents. "Quite frankly, Tavi, I find yer mane to be mighty purdy. It's like a fine gray smoke comin' out of the chimney on a toasty winter's evening."

"Heehee... why thank you, Miss Applejack. It's... not as easy to manage as it looks. I had the most infuriating curls as a little filly. Took me forever to master growing out."

"Hey!" A golden bell, muffled by doughnut crumbs. "Mmfff... what's wrong with curls?"

Gray, pink, and shiny laughter.

"Well, if you do not desire to spend a day at the spa, Miss Octavia, then I shan't force you." White diamonds. "It's just that... I look at a pony and I see something else. I see a fine, shimmering fabric that just deserves to be fashioned into something that sings proudly, boastfully, expressing the lengths of her beauty in every direction at all time!"

"Heehee! Well, she's one step ahead of you, Rare-Rare!" Platinum jingles. "She's already a singer!" Whispering, hissing now. "She sings through her cello..."

"Miss Pie has a good point. I do like to express myself through my musical abilities. But I also share your sentiment for elegance and refinery, Rarity. It's just that—and no offense intended—but I much prefer to present myself in as subtle a fashion as possible. It's not as important to look good doing something as it is to feel good doing something."

"Well, there's a reason to attend the spa right there, Octavia." Pink sheets. "Even if you're not expecting to have your mane or hooves done, then you can at least expect to feel very relaxed... pampered, even."

"A noble thought, Fluttershy. But... a glass of red wine and a soft sunset is all I need to accomplish that. Erm... aside from the sheer contentment of knowing that one has become a minstrel of Her Royal Majesty."

"Heehee!" Gray streaks. "Oh, Octavia. Haven't we been over this?"

"Over what, Your High—er... Twilight?"

"The name speaks for itself. When you perform inside the Castle—and outside it—you do so as a friend, not a servant."

"Oh, you are far too flattering."

"Am I? You're here with us! You're having doughnuts and pleasant conversation, aren't you? What could be friendlier than that?"

"I think what Twilight's trying to say is..." A fine black mist. "...you gals are cool in our book."

"And we wouldn't mind gettin' to know a bit about ya better." An amber hum. "Heck, might help us click better when it gets showtime when diplomats visit."

"That... that is... such a delightful notion."

"Hmmmm... quite!" Gemstones. "Only because you and your friend are such delightful mares!"

"Yeah!" Golden sugar. "Even if Missy Mysterious and Shady doesn't talk very much!"

"Eughhh..." Black charcoal. "Pinkie..."

"Oh! Don't worry!" A gray blur, and I sense Twilight levitating two straws from the tabletop. "I've got this. Ahem..." She concentrates, face tense: "Some oranges hate cooking art hats that ordain anarchy."

I roll my eyes... until they streak past the most colorful figure of all.

"Uhhh... Twi?" Rainbow Dash rasps blackly. "I... think your egghead's cracked."

"Why?" Gray blinks. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't entirely mastered Vinyl's second language, dear," Octavia says.


Applejack cackles: "You look like a prayin' mantis on an airstrip tryin' to help elephants land on the runway!"

"Heeheehee!" Pinkie rolls over, enmeshed in golden song.

"I... I-I do not!"

Rarity sips from some tea. "Listen to your friends, dear."

"Vinyl! Seriously!" The Princess looks at me. "All this time, have I been making a complete fool out of—"

I nod.

"Oh come on!" She covers her face and headdesks while Rainbow and Applejack laugh.

"Haah haah haah!" Rainbow slaps Twilight's shoulder. "Good thing you weren't trying to negotiate with mute manticores or else we'd all be dying in a giant crater by now! Hahaha!"

"Oh dear..." Octavia covers her smiling muzzle. "I do believe we've made quite a splash."

"Eeuugh..." Twilight looks up, blushing furiously. "Live and learn, I guess."

Fluttershy coos: "I like praying mantises."

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