• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Epic Things

Author's Note:

"...so who's ready for a hip-hoppin', cork poppin', rider's croppin' good time?!?!" Pinkie Pie's voice bounces off the ballroom walls like a million golden tennis balls.

The crowd cheers in response, carried predominantly by the youthful members of the assembly. The older ponies shake their heads and smirk, more intrigued by the unique proceedings than motivated to join in. All in all, I can very easily tell that almost everypony is on board with the Friendship Gala—even those who are here simply to observe the birth of a new tradition.

"Woohoo! Welcome to the first ever Friendship Gala!" Pinkie Pie chortles loudly. The speakers reverberate with her mirth, outmatched only by the sheer glint of her pearly whites from atop the stage next to Octavia. "I'd love to give a shout-out to the two ponies making this night's Gala move'n'groove! Our very own Royal Minstrels!" She gestures across the way to where my DJ booth looms. "Give it up for DJ-P0N3!"

Hooves clap and thud against the ballroom floor. Rainbow Dash's raspy voice morphs into a battle cry. From afar, I can hear the melodic cadence of both Beau and Merriweather cheering and whooping.

With a smirk, I wave my hoof, salute, and scratch the records a few times in response.

As the applause dies down, Pinkie giggle-snorts and then rests a hoof on Octavia's delicate shoulder. "And, of course, here we have the totally ravishing, totally talented, totally total-package, Octavia Melody! Say hello, Tavi!" She holds the mic over to my best friend.

"'Hello, Tavi,'" Octavia says with a smug grin.

Laughter erupts across the ballroom. Just as it dies down, there's a psuedo-elegant voice suddenly yelling with the grace of rattling jewels: "That's an amazing dress, Miss Melody!"

"Oh hush, Rarity!" Pinkie pouts, glaring into the crowd. "They can see it!"

Another round of laughter. Rosiness spreads across Octavia's velvet cheeks as she smiles.

"And as proud as I am to be here," Pinkie coos into the mic. "As well as to introduce tonight's musical entertainment... I have to say... none of this would be even possible if it weren't for her Royal Majesty, the one and only, the Showstopper, the Main Event..." She cartwheels off the stage, lands on her knees in a slide, and flings both hooves towards the miniature throne far across the ballroom. "The Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle!"

The Gala's applause is its loudest yet. The spotlight falls on a lavender shape, perched in her throne. Despite the glitter and glamour of everypony's attention, I can't help but notice a slathering of tan shadows clinging to the alicorn's muzzle. Nevertheless, Twilight waits until the spotlight catches an array of sparkle from her glittery gown, and she waves with as gentle a smile she can summon.

I squint towards her from afar. As the clapping continues, I glance across the hall. Flash Sentry stands at attention along with multiple other guards. His face is deadpan, serious, observant.

I bite my lip.

"And without much further ado..." Pinkie Pie twirls and aims the mic at me. "Let's get this party st-st-st-startedddd!"

I nod. I'm about to kick the session into ignition—when I feel my ears being scratched by a hauntingly familiar sensation. I flinch, briefly glancing over my shoulder. It's almost as if something coarse has brushed past the hairs on my flank. A voice... a breath with calico patchwork. Like burlap.

Ponies whoop and holler. They're waiting for me. No need to delay things.

So, with a firm breath, I spin the records and roll into the first instrumental of the session. The lights go biserk, following my coordinated chaos. Soon enough, the entire hall is bouncing to my rhythm. I glance to the side in time to spot Octavia leaning against her cello, smiling proudly my way.

I smile back, suddenly given the energy to survive this crazy night. And that's when the speakers righteously explode—and I proceed to own the crowd.

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