• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Generous Things

Author's Note:

"Miss Rarity, we're quite pleased with your sincerity and attention," Tavi says. The automatic front doors of the hospital swish open, exposing us to the refreshingly warm air of the outside world. "But you needn't go to all of this trouble and expense. Honestly..." A violet chuckle. "I'm more than capable of assisting my good friend during her return home."

"Uh uh uh!" Rarity chides. "Say no more! I must insist on getting you back to your apartment both comfortably and safely!" Her voice is like a bath of tiny diamonds cascading all over my shoulders. Nevertheless, I grip the hoof-rests of the wheelchair with a twinge of nervousness as she magically glides me across the lengths of Ponyville. "It's the least I can do, considering what lengths you and Miss Scratch have gone to ensure the well-beingness of my beloved yet foolish sister."

"Huh?" Again, Tavi giggles. She's terribly amused by this whole situation. I'm glad one of us is, at least. "Miss Rarity! It was Vinyl who saved Sweetie Belle! I wasn't even there! You owe me nothing!"

"Heroism by association, darling," Rarity sing-songs. With a voice like that, it's a wonder that Princess Twilight needs minstrels around the palace to begin with. "I truly mean it. You two are more than just professional composers. You are angels in disguise!"

"Rarity, if I may be so bold, I find your complimentary attitude to be rather... biased. I don't suppose that this had any bearing whatsoever on the fact that Vinyl and I were the ones chosen after all the auditions?"

I sense a cloud of magenta issuing outward from my hissing teeth. Don't push it, Tavi...

"Uh!" Rarity gasps, and I'm showered with sapphires. "My my, Miss Melody! What an audacious suggestion! I'll have you know that I threw my vote into the hat with the same equal vigor as the rest of my close companions. Rest assured, I did not curry any favors, no matter how much I think your music is the utter apex of musical elegance... nor how... ermmm... much I've relished your visits to the Boutique so that I could see true beauty modeling my exquisite gowns."

"Hah hah hah. What?"

"Oooh! Here we are!" Rarity hums again. "483 Faust Street, am I right?"

"Indeed. Allow me to open the door for you." Octavia skips ahead, fumbling with her keys. "Oh, it's a terribly good thing I cleaned the house earlier today. Vine, love, I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of moving things around some."

"... ... ...!" My eyes are bulging beneath my shades by the time Rarity wheels me into the living room. I instantly crane my neck, my pulse racing. I look and look and...

...everything feels the same. Only once I'm ten feet deep into the living room do I notice that my turntable is situated a few measly centimeters to the right.

I slouch back in my chair, exhaling with relief. As the magenta clears, I feel a dumb smile lingering on my muzzle.

Celestia dang it, Tavi. Don't scare me like that...

"Ah! Here we are! And what a lovely abode, too!"

"Please, Miss Rarity," Tavi hums. "It's no Boutique... and it's certainly no Castle."

"Oh, don't be so humble! I find it... uhm... rustically charming!" Rarity fidgets, and I sense brown stains along the edges of her otherwise polished words. "I especially like how... how... dichotomously the foyer has been... erm... designed?"

"Yes, the two-toned colorization has always been a unique feature," Tavi returns with a volley of purple. "That's precisely why I selected... er, I mean, that's the reason why Vinyl ordered..." She stands in place, blinking confusedly. "Uhm, Vine?" She looks my way. "I'm having a terrible case of cerebral flatulence at the moment. Could you remind me who exactly decided upon this particularly avante-garde architecture?"

I fumble for worldess words.

"Well, a home is still a home, and I know my way around it. Please, Miss Scratch. Allow me." Before I can protest, Rarity is floating me—and my leg and my cast—gently across the room.

"Erm..." Tavi squirms. Tavi sweats. "Uhhhh... Rarity—?"

"Oh, don't be a fussbudget dear." The unicorn smiles, levitating me towards the sofa. "I know quite well how to take care of an infirmed pony. My father used to be quite the fan of pancakes, but his stomach never was, you see!" A flippant giggle.

"But I assure you, it's not..." Tavi gulps, then looks my way. "I mean, there's no need for... for..."

I shrug with a stupid smile as I'm floated over to a sofa. After laying me down, Rarity props my cast up on a stack of fluffy pillows and drapes a blanket over my body.

"I absolutely insist that I see to your courageous roommate's full recovery!" Rarity trots swiftly back and forth across the house, folding up the wheelchair and shoving my bag of things towards my side of the foyer. "And for the moments in the afternoon when I'll be busy dressmaking or assisting Princess Twilight, my sister will be here. I can assure you that she will likewise look after your friend's health with as dutiful a zeal!"

"Erm..." Tavi grimaces. "I... I'm rather flattered by the idea, but I'm not sure that—"

"Believe me. Sweetie Belle must learn a thing or two about responsibility. This will help her as much as it will help your friend. Besides, just grounding her is not enough, and I doubt she will be of much help to anypony at home alone." Rarity pauses to smile at us. "Do not worry. Although she's obviously rather precocious in her crusades to achieve a cutie mark, I assure you, she's quite useful when made to work on household cleaning tasks."

"Well... uh..." Octavia adjusts her bow tie. "I do suppose we could use an extra set of hooves around the house, cleaning out the gutters, looking after Scribbler—"


"Our little feline pet, you see."

"Ah. Quite an... eloquent name for one too." Rarity smiles. "I also have a cat. She's named Opalescence, and Sweetie Belle is rather used to taking care of her. I'm certain my precious darling's temperament has made Sweetie more than prepared for whatever you and your good friend may have in store."

"Well, that is... very assuring?"

"Now! I do believe some food and drink is in order!" Rarity steps forward. "I can prepare anything from eggs to salad to a full-course pasta meal! Name it, Miss Scratch, and the dinner is yours!"

"Oh, Rarity, please—"

"Uh uh uh! I mean it! Money is no object! So, what will it be?"

I look at Tavi. With a smirk, I motioned "drinking" with my hoof.

"Hrmmmm..." Octavia rolls her purple eyes, then proceeds to roll her purple words even further. "I do believe my beloved friend is thirsting for Dr. Pony."

"Oh?" Rarity bites her lip suddenly. "I see. Is... uhm... she a wine maker? Perhaps I should go back to the hospital and inquire—?"

"No no no..." Tavi chuckles slightly. "You don't understand. It is the name of a soft drink."

"Ah. But of course."

"A quite caffeinated and disgustingly flavored one too," Tavi says. A fluffy pillow flies across the room collides with her left leg. She sighs. "But, to each their own."

"I see. Well..." Rarity clears her throat and canters out of the building. "I shall go and procure a large volume of said quaff forthwith! Fear not, Miss Scratch, for your thirst shall be quenched sooner than you can say... well... anything really! Ta!" And she hops out in a pale blur.

Tavi shakes her head, closing the door behind her. She leans against it, giggling, then smiles beautifully in my direction. "I have always admired that mare's delicate enthusiasm, but I'm not so certain I can handle that much of it for days! And so unfiltered too!"

I smirk at her.

"Granted, I suppose we should be thankful for her generosity," Tavi says, strolling across the room, unconsciously reorganizing the bits of things Rarity had just shuffled around upon entering. "It's not often that we're treated... well... that you're treated so luxuriously." She gulps, avoiding my gaze slightly. "How often I forget, Vine, that you did not come from the same sort of financially cushioned upbringing as I had. Being served hoof-and-fetlock must be quite a charmingly new sensation for you."

I shrug.

"Hmmm... best not to lose that air of humility," Tavi muses. "After all..." She points. "Once you've recovered and back on your hooves, we'll be the ones... performing like lowly servants for Her Highness and Rarity. I guess this is only... preemptive karma, yes?"

I nod, yawn, and lean back into the couch cushions.

It could be Tartarus for all I care...

...so long as I get my damned Dr. Pony.

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