• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Sneaky Things

Author's Note:

The colors here are far too vibrant. I suppose I should have anticipated this.

I'm normally okay in crowds... but the only reason for such is that—in almost every circumstance where I'm in a crowded place—I am usually the one directing the crowd, controlling them, electrifying them from my pulpit of musical mayhem. Right now, I'm just a floundering idiot, attempting to trot her way through a thickening group of ambassadors, dignitaries, and politicians. The sheer variation of passionate golds, laughable reds, adoring pinks, and blase browns is overwhelming.

It doesn't help that nearly half of the visitors congregating around the front entrance to the Castle are griffons. Nothing against the awesome cat-birds—it's just that I haven't ever gotten acquainted to their voices. My ears ache with what sounds like a chorus of ospreys and eagles growing louder, redder, and denser.

I can only imagine what it will be like inside the Castle, where the sheer blackness of the harmonic construct will reflect all of these strange new sounds back at me. Right now, I can scarcely concentrate. I need my music. I need my turntable. I need to be in control.

Thankfully... I have Tavi. She may be the daintier dressed of the two of us, but her hoof leads me strongly through the mess. I hear the rattle of guards' armor, a hint of brown, and then a rush of cool air. Suddenly, the bedlam melts away, and my vision returns—no longer clouded by the vomitous paint bucket of everything and everyone.

"Whew! If that's a preview to tonight's scene, then I'm positively enraptured!" I hear Octavia chirp in violet breaths... almost too violet. "Thank you most kindly..."

"Sentry. Flash Sentry." Oh Goddess. I sense him bowing in my peripheral. "And a pleasure, madame." He smiles. "Your places in the ballroom await."

"Are we late?" Octavia asks while I get my bearings in the main hall of the Castle.

"Heh... not at all," he says. "This is simply a big occasion! The first ever Gala at Her Majesty's new castle in Ponyville!"

"Wow... how positively exciting..." Octavia suppresses a foalish squeal. "I cannot wait to charm them with my muse!"

"Among other things." Muddy, earthen chuckles. "You look positively radiant tonight, madame."

"Oh... uh... uhhhhh..." More and more violets. "Ehhh hee-hee-hee-hee-hee..." I sense red, but I don't hear any thunder. I realize it's just Octavia's coat blushing until it matches the color of her gown. "Oh, much appreciated. Erm... Rarity chose it for me."

"Ah. That would make sense."

"Granted, for all of her affectionate generosity, she doesn't quite compliment as handsomely as—" Octavia yelps slightly, her voice dipping into indigo. It might possibly have something to do with my dragging her towards the opposite end of the Castle. "R-right! We must make haste! Much preparations to do!"

"Heh... very well. I'll keep an eye on the front door! Good luck with the performance!"

Several black chambers away, and we enter the ballroom. The walls are lined with long tables covered in white table-cloth and several curiously stacked platters. Caterers are still setting stuff around, and I spot a pink bouncing figure in the corner, directing them, directing everything. In truth, the place is remarkably underdressed, which—for an event like this—is probably for the best.

"Whew... thank you, Vine," Tavi says. "I cannot afford to be... ermmm... distracted right now." She fluffs her mane and re-adjusts the rose in her bangs. "No matter how delightfully..."

I sigh. I sense turquoise out of the corner of my vision. Curious, I tilt my gaze towards the right side of the room.

"Don't look," a voice rasps, black and scratchy. Rainbow Dash touches down. "And if you're feeling hungry, try sticking to the left side of the ballroom."

"Oh dear..." Octavia squirms where she stands. "Why is that?"

"Well... a bunch of griffons from Griffonstone are visiting..." Rainbow rolls her eyes. "And... ehhh... griffons are carnivores..."

"Eugh!" Octavia kicks her hooves and backtrots behind me, wincing. "You cannot be serious!"

"Hey. We're bridging cultural gaps here," Rainbow says with a shrug. "Besides... it's just dead field mice. Fluttershy said that was the closest thing to a kill we could get away with and not upset the balance of Equestrian wildlife or... whatever. Yadda-yadda. Anyways." She turns towards me, grinning. "Heeeey! Look at you! Not a frill or a sash or anything!"

"Erm..." Octavia tilts her head aside. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Pffft! As if!" Rainbow smirks. "It just means there's somepony else here just as underdressed as me! Awesome!" She holds a hoof up high. "Put 'er there, V.S.!"

I smirk and slap my hoof against hers. A red explosion blossoms between us, and Rainbow is suddenly leaning forward, murmuring, her voice taking on strangely pinkish decibels: "Did... did you finish... erm... you-know-what?"

"Hehe... funny you should ask that!" Tavi says. "Vinyl?"

I hold a hoof up. Calmly, I trot towards the floor just beneath my turntable. I levitate a disc player and a set of headphones over. I then put the commissioned track in, press play, and lay the headphones over Rainbow's fuzzy ears.

Her ruby eyes dart at me. But then—as the music begins—and the samples crack into her ears, she blinks... eyelids fluttering. She narrows her gaze across the ballroom, tail flicking... then flicking again. "Huh..." Her nose wriggles. "Mmmm..." Ears twitch. "Yeah..." A smile. "Heh... yeah!" A devilish grin. "Buck yeah!" She lets loose a brief giggle—curiously pink—and then the black raspiness returns. "Wow! This is killer! Totally killer stuff, Vinyl!"

I smirk.

"Then you like it?" Octavia asks.

"Like it? Girl, this kicks butt from here to Ragneihrak!" Rainbow Dash's wings flap and she twirls in the air. "Woohooo! How... uh..." She glances down at me with momentarily pensiveness. "How long is this?"

I levitate a pen and paper from my DJ booth, write on it, and hold it up to her.

"Wow! Over ten minutes! Heck yeah! I can totally do Wonderbolt exercises to this!" She twirls in the air. "Wooohooo! Thanks a ton, Vinyl! You're the absolute best! Yeah!" She zips around the ceiling, earning a chiding warning from Rarity, who has just arrived with an elaborate procession of servants bearing floral arrangements to add the finishing touches to the room.

"Well, that went even better than I imagined." Octavia looks over at me. "And you managed to make that track using only samples from Daring Do audio books?"

I glance to the left... then to the right...

I smirk.

She arches an eyebrow. "Vinyl... what did you do...?"

I clear my throat. I write on the pad, then levitate it before her.

She blinks. Then glances at me. "I... I did not know that they released a Pretty Princess Lullabyes Volume Thirteen."

I nod, smiling.

"Erm..." She leans in, suppressing a giggle. "...just how many samples did you sneak in?" she whispers.

I sketch a double-digit number and hold it up to her.

"Snkkkt!" Octavia flounces so hard, she nearly loses the rose in her mane. "Heeheeheehee!"

I grin, exhaling a few magenta chuckles.

"Whew...!" She fans herself, then slinks off for the stage opposite mine. "...I think I should start tuning up now. Goddess..."

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