• Published 26th Jul 2015
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The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions



Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

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Gathered Things

Author's Note:

"Make love to me with a motherbuckin' chainsaw!" DJ Harmonicide booms. His twitchy eyes sweep across the crystalline foyer of the Castle of Friendship. "This place is even better than in the smelly postcards! BOOYAKASHAAAA!" He tilts his right ear up, then sports an extra-muscular grin upon hearing the echoes rattle all across the room. "Hah! Knew it! The acoustics in this place are absolutely bitchin!'"

"Mr. Harmonicide..." DJ Capricorn clenches her teeth. She sits at a table, trying to levitate a teacup in a cloud of dainty telekinesis. "A modicum of decency, if you will." She sips, swallows, then murmurs: "We are in a place of royalty, after all."

"Yeah, dude, learn to chillax some," Simon Neighs remarks. He adjusts the headphones around his neck and squints across the chamber. "Princess Twilight invited us! She put us on her platinum list! Let's not screw up a chance in a lifetime, pal!"

"And I think we all know who to thank for such an opportunity," DJ Capricorn says with a coy smirk.

Harmonicide follows the trail of her bergundy voice. His beady eyes rest on me. "Hey! Yo! V to the S! What's with the pacing, girl? You tryin' to stamp out a fire or what?!"

I don't respond to him. I continue trotting in a tight circle, fidgeting... quivering.

"I thought this was your town and all, V!" Harmonicide chuckles loudly. "Shouldn't you be at home here?"

"Give her a break," Simon Neighs drones. "She's got a lot riding on this, Harmonicide. I mean, not only is this going to be a super daring techno takeover of a classic symphony's intermission, but the psychological welfare of her best friend depends on our performance! Assuming Vinyl's gal-pal does show up of course—"

"Ahem." Capricorn glares in Simon's direction.

The stallion blinks, and soon his ears droop savagely. "Erm... eheheh... my bad."

I sigh, almost overwhelmed with magenta for the first time since leaving the Carolineighs.

"Just relax, Vinyl," Capricorn says, smiling gently. Her burgundy voice carries a remarkably soothing texture, instantly taking me back to weeks of cathartic self-rediscovery. "You have all your ducks in a row. What's more, you have friends here... both royal and not."

"Pffft!" Harmonicide rolls his eyes. "I sure as Hell ain't royal!"

Capricorn's eyes are narrow daggers. "That much is certain, my good stallion." She looks at me again. "And if you're worried about our final member, Vinyl, then don't be." She smiles. "After all, when has he ever let you down?"

I nod back, although I bite my lip nervously.

I'm not worried about him letting me down.

It's just that...

...I sometimes wonder how many favors I still deserve.

All of a sudden, hoofsteps echo across the room. I turn to see Starlight Glimmer entering the foyer.

"Uhm... Miss Scratch?" She fidgets, blinking awkwardly. "There's a Randy Bison here to see you and your friends?"

A series of stripes roll into the room. "That's Roadie Beau fo' Sho, Lil' Miss sea cucumber head. I only said it—like—five dayum times."

I'm instantly grinning from ear to ear.

"I... I-I'm sorry, sir." Starlight Glimmer gulps, fidgeting. "It's j-just that... that..."

"Ain't used to hearin' a zebra talk out of rhyme, I'm guessing."

"No! That's n-not it at all!"

"Yeesh. It's called a joke, silly filly! Why's everypony so serious in this here town? Is Princess Twilight spittin' in the water?"

"Eh... eheheh..." Starlight Glimmer breaks into breathy giggles.

Beau smirks. "Awful refreshin' to have someone mouth off about yer mentor, huh?"

"I... uhm..." Starlight clears her throat. "You said it, sir, not me."

"Eh... you need to chillax." Beau strides into the foyer like he owns the place. If I was a slightly different mare, I'd be swooning right about now. Tartarus, I am swooning. "Go in the corner and drain the streaks from yer mane. The adults here gotta chat up some music before we upchuck our muffins, y'hear?"

"Eheh... s-sure thing, sir." Starlight's eyes dart towards me. With a goofy smile, she exits, closing the door behind her.

"Sooooooo..." Beau's nostrils flare, and he smirks. "Do my zebra eyes deceive me, or did the music muse lay four golden eggs right in this here room?"

"Beau..." Capricorn stands up just to curtsey from afar. "Pleasure as always."

"Maiden of the month right there!" Beau points at her with a smirk. "You and me gotta talk later, angel. A little business about hugging the stuffings out of you over saving my girl."

"Heheh... sure thing."

"Beauuuu!" Simon Neighs holds his hoof up. "What's uppp?"

Beau bro-hoofs him with a wink. "Buncha powdered wigs this same time forty-eight hours from now."

"Hah! Dang straight!"

"Hellz yeah!" Harmonicide bounds over, hoof raised. "Stripes have arrived—"

"Uh huh. Yeah. No." Beau strolls past him, then stands before me. He weathers a deep breath... and an even deeper smile.

I stare up at him, grinning, squirming.

"Well, V?" He exhales, his voice shaky. "Here we are."

A magenta squeak escapes my lips. I leap forward.

"Wh-whoah dayum!" He catches me awkwardly. Then, with a whole-hearted chuckle, he hugs me close, patting my shoulders. A long exhale, and I feel him murmur into my ears: "We've come a long away... and she's comin' from even longer..." He nuzzles me close. "...but I swear on my very last tail-hair that we're gonna make these friggin' circles meet."

I nod, sniffling. I allow the warmth of his hug to melt the lump away in my throat.

Beau exhales. At last, we break the hug, and he holds a hoof around my shoulder while smiling at the others.

"So then, y'all..." He winks. "...we've got ourselves an orchestra to crash."

"Indeed." Capricorn pulls out her notes. "Let's get planning."

"Awwww yeah!" Harmonicide pumps a hoof in the air. "Destructive construction! I was born for this!"

Simon Neighs winces slightly. "Uhhh... m-mind if I do the rest of this meeting with my headphones on?"

Chuckles...

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