• Published 26th Jul 2015
  • 10,650 Views, 4,220 Comments

The Things Tavi Says - shortskirtsandexplosions

Let me tell you a few things about my roommate, Octavia. After all, she saved my life.

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Royal Things

Author's Note:

The doors to the throneroom open with a black creak, and Starlight Glimmer trots in, levitating a tray full of snacks.

"What if she gets Maestro Soundscape to appear?" Rarity muses.

Starlight arches an eyebrow, gazing curiously at the ponies assembled around the table.

"Mister Whozit, Rarity?" Applejack remarks.

"Not Mister. Maestro." Rarity frowns. "He's the lead composer for the Royal Sisters!"

"Oh wow..." Fluttershy stammers. "That would be amazing." She looks aside. "Could Twilight actually do that?"

"Of course she cannnn!" Pinkie waves a hoof, winking. "She's saved the world—pfffft—like a gazillion times! Canterlot owes her! Owes us! And we're not playing around for small favors anymore—" She looks at Starlight's tray. "Oooh! Gummies!" She scarfs a few treats from the platter. "Nomfff!"

Starlight smiles at her, then gazes curiously at us. "What's going on, exactly?"

"Twilight's gone to Canterlot Castle to speak with the Royal Department of Music," Spike says, waddling up to the tray and grabbing a bite himself. "She's been gone for four hours. We're all waiting to hear back from her."

"Is... is this about your bard friend?" Starlight inquires.

"Her name is Octavia," Rainbow Dash insists. "And totally. Apparently she's super into the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. Y'know..." She takes a bite from the tray, munching. "Mrmmmfff... conductors... old bearded violinists... ponies playing the clarinet in super slinky gowns. All that boring crud."

"Ahem." Rarity glares, then waggles her eyebrows in my direction.

"Erm..." Rainbow Dash gulps, then smiles. Her voice is a black, scratchy thing. "No offense."

I shrug with a smile, then resume pacing.

Starlight Glimmer watches my shuffling hooves. "So..." She glances at the rest of the group. "The idea—then—is to get somepony to perform here?"

"Well, shucks..." Applejack leans back, smirking into a tilted hat. "Wouldja imagine that? I mean... if even one of them talented royal folk performed at this here Castle, it'd bring in the most cultured ponies from all over Ponyville!"

"Oh goodness..." Rarity's soft cheeks melt into her fetlocks as she stares off dreamily. "I certainly can imagine it! The glamor! The spectacle! The cream of the crop of the uppermost top class!"

"You... do remember this is for Octavia, right?" Applejack squinted.

"Mmmm... yes. Of course." Rarity fluffs her mane with a nervous smile. "Still does anypony here actually know how much it costs to have even one of those royal performers breathe on you?"

"I do." Spike tosses a gummy snack into his maw and gulps. "Prince Blueblood showed up for the Summer Sun Celebration right before I was hatched. Spent half his dang fortune on just the brass section alone!" He winks. "And now he's married to a duchess just to make up for it!"

"Oh my..." Fluttershy sinks in her seat. "Pinkie Pie? Are you sure that this is the best idea you and Vinyl could come up with?" She gulps. "Seems awfully like a last resort."

"Well, I was really gung ho about the bowtie convention thingy—" Pinkie freezes upon sensing my shades swiveling to reflect her. "Butttttttt that's pretentious as all get-out. You feel me?"

"No. I... uh... I really don't," Fluttershy stammers.

"Well, no doubt the Princess will come up with something," Starlight says. All of a sudden, her horn shimmers. She smiles. "Here she comes now!"

Rainbow squinted. "What do you mean? How could you possibly know that—"


"I'm back!" breathes a gray voice from the source of lavender light.

"Guhhh!" Rainbow Dash flinches in midair. "Luna Poop, Twilight!" With a frown, she points down at Starlight. "And could you put a cork in your new apprentice's freaky-deaky magic powers?"

"Uhm..." Starlight winces, ears drooping. "...sorry?"

"Just relax, everypony!" Twilight smiles at us. "I come back bearing great news!"

"Well, I should say so!" Rarity blinks. "You look positively beaming, darling!"

"What'd you find out, Twi?" Spike asks.

"Okay..." Twilight smiles. "So I just got done talking to Ms. Harshwhinny."

"Uhhhh... what for?" Rainbow Dash cocks her head to the side. "This isn't about the Equestria Games."

"Ugh..." Spike rolls his eyes. "Do any of you girls pay attention?"

Eight sets of eyes gawk at him.

He sighs. "Ms. Harshwhinny has been reassigned to managing the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. She works close-hoof with Maestro Soundscape."

"And she says that the Orchestra had been previously booked for the next few weeks." Twilight clears her throat. "However..." A proud smirk. "...I've convinced her to spare a performance here at the Castle of Friendship."

"Oh!" Fluttershy's cheeks turn rosy. "Yay!"

"Ooooooh!" Rarity leans forward in her throne. "Who will be performing? Some of their violinists? Cellists?" She hugs herself. "The harpsichordists?"

"Nope!" Twilight shakes her head. "The entire Orchestra."

"... ... ..." Rarity's jaw hits the tabletop so hard it produces a crimson thud!

Rainbow Dash falls limp unto the floor.

Fluttershy and Applejack gawk at each other, muzzles agape.

"But... but..." Spike stammers. "How?"

"Hehehe..." Twilight waves a hoof. "I have my ways." She turns towards me, grinning. "Am I princess or am I princess?"

I gaze back at her. I smile... ecstatic.

"So what are you all waiting for?!" Starlight Glimmer exclaims.

"Pinkie?" Twilight turns to face the party mare in question. "Think you can arrange for an impromptu concert?"

Pinkie is already saluting. "I'll send invites out to all corners of Equestria! But first and foremost..." She looks at me. "...to somepony's truly."

I bite my lip, shivering in place.

"Alright!" Twilight twirls and faces Applejack. "Applejack! We'll need the finest catering!"

"Yeeeeha! Hoity toity it is!"

"Fluttershy! A chorus of your most skilled songbirds should make the guests feel welcome!"

"You bet!"


"Dresses dresses dresses! Oooooooooh—the dresses!"

"Rainbow Dash. Think you can drum up a few favors with the Wonderbolts to keep the skies clear for one special night!"

"Heh... sure thing! I just know I've got some blackmail photos of Soarin' somewhere."

"Whatever! Grab my planner, Spike! Time to set up the biggest... most extravagant concert in the history of the Equestrian rural valley! Something that Miss Melody absolutely can't resist!"

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!