The Life and Times of a Winning Pony

by Chengar Qordath


The Pony Who Doesn't Fit Into Their Little Box

Thankfully, the bugs didn’t launch another attack in the time it took to get to the central keep. It would’ve been just my luck to get jumped by a bunch of changelings while I was on my way to go get Shadow’s armor.

It had been a long time since the compound’s central keep had actually served as a fortified fallback position for the clan when all else was lost. After all, it had been nine hundred years since Canterlot had come under direct assault, and its backup purpose of serving as the headquarters of the clan leadership wasn’t nearly as important these days. Sure, Dad was still paterfamilias of the Clan, and we still had a sense of clan hierarchy, but things weren’t anywhere close to as regimented as they were in Shadow’s time.

It was no surprise that eventually ponies looked at the big building in the middle of our compound that nopony really used and tried to figure out what to do with it. For a while, like a lot of empty buildings, it got used as a storage area for all sorts of random junk. Then somepony took a look at all of the cool things we had stored there and decided to do some organizing of the whole collection, and set up the best of what we had on display. A few years later, we had a proper clan museum starting up.

At first it was just random artifacts and memorabilia—anything Shadow had ever touched, and some other stuff like original copies of a few of Gale’s decrees from her time as Grand Vizier of Equestria. We’d eventually diversified things a bit, mostly on account of having picked up several more centuries’ worth of history and general clan life. Pretty much any time a Kicker does something especially noteworthy, they end up with some kind of display in the museum. It’s not all guardponies either; the clan as a whole might have kept our military focus, but we’ve produced more than a couple artists and cultural icons. Painters, sculptors, singers, all that good stuff.

Aside from the museum proper, we had a couple of public areas—meeting halls and the like, plus the inevitable gift shop. There had been talk of adding a restaurant for visitors too. At this rate, the place might end up turning into a shopping mall in a few generations. Maybe I’m just being stubborn, but that’s a bit too much change for my tastes.

However, what was important for my purposes was the fact that the family vault was underneath the compound’s central keep. The vault had been built back when the keep was still the military headquarters of a private army, and nopony had ever bothered to move it after the keep started getting civilianized. Moving the vault would have been a huge and very expensive undertaking, and the clan kept coming up with better things to spend bits on. We did seal up the entrances from any unsecured areas of the old keep, at least; we didn’t need random curious visitors wandering in setting off the alarms.

The first obstacle I ran into was somewhat underwhelming: an ordinary locked door. It seems ridiculous, but while I knew all the combinations to open up one of the most secure vaults in Equestria, I didn’t have a key to get past the ordinary locked door to the private areas of the museum. Without that, I couldn’t get to the actual entrance.

I’m sure one of my watchponies or one of the clan’s noncombatants in the bunkers could’ve gotten the door unlocked for me, but I didn’t want to waste all the time it would take to actually track down somepony. Especially not when I had access to the Royal-Guard-approved universal key: three sharp bucks to the latch. Thankfully, the keep’s original solid oak doors had long since been replaced with modern flimsy ones. I think it had to do with the fire code; oak doors are great for keeping out invaders, but when that hasn’t been a concern for centuries...

Five minutes of trotting and another application of the Guard’s universal key later, I was at the entrance to the vault. I left my armor and weapons outside; after what I’d heard happened when Storm took one of Star’s trackers into the anti-magic field around the Vault, I wanted to play it safe with my own gear. After all, that armor had been a gift from Mom. I left the trackers Star had planted on me behind too, for similar reasons.

The vault itself was ... well, about what you’d expect a vault to be. A massive metal door set into the wall, with a huge and obvious locking mechanism. The first vault door was ridiculously oversized, mainly because we’d put several progressively smaller vaults inside the main vault. Have to love redundant security systems.

As I got to work unlocking the vaults, my mind went back to the last time I’d been down here. Nearly a decade ago, when I was getting close to graduating from West Hoof. Dad had taken me down here once or twice before, but that time had been special. He was teaching me how to unlock the vault. That’s a big deal, for a Kicker; we keep enough ponies trained so that there should always be somepony on hoof to open the vault in a crisis, but it’s still a small and elite group of ponies. After all, the secret combination to open the vault won’t stay secret for very long if too many ponies know it. As it was, we’d probably end up changing the combination after this—with all the shapeshifters running around Canterlot right now, there was a non-zero chance that current one would be compromised. Rather annoying, considering we’d changed it a couple weeks ago on account of what happened with Mom, but ‘better safe than sorry’ is a philosophy that extends beyond the bedroom.

It was hard not to think about that day. Dad standing by my side, looking so feathering proud of me as he showed me how it all worked. Symbolically passing the torch to a new generation, saying that he could trust me with this kind of power. That one day I would be good enough to take his place. Little did we know that five years later he would be teaching Storm the exact same thing, so one day she could take his place instead.

Dad ... I hope he was alright. I knew Alula was safe down in the bunkers, but Dad had been at the wedding. If whatever trick the bugs had pulled there was nasty enough to take out Princess feathering Celestia...

No. I couldn’t afford to worry about him, not with everything else going on. I had to put that West Hoof training to use, and just shove that problem into the back of my mind. Whatever had happened to Dad was out of my hooves for the moment; I needed to stay focused on the present. The last thing I needed to do was mess up on opening the vault because I was distracted. I wasn’t sure exactly how all the alarms hooked up to the vault worked, but I knew they would let Celestia know whenever the vault was opened, even when everything was done properly. If the bugs had her, they might be able to find out what I was up to, and they would definitely try to stop me.

So I kept focused, and if the changelings did know what I was up to they didn’t manage to scramble their forces in time to stop me. Each vault opened up in turn, until I was staring at Shadow’s armor.

The armor didn’t look like much on the surface. I mean, it was obviously a quality suit of full plate, and anypony who knew their armor could point out all the usual Pegasopolan design quirks like the extended cheek guards, full ear coverings, and streamlined aerodynamic design. However, aside from those differences there was nothing obvious about it that said it was more than just a good set of armor. Or at least, nothing tangible. However, just by looking at it I could feel a sense of power from it. A sense that there was so much more to it than met the eye.

There was no time to dwell on that, though. I came here to put the armor on, not gawk at it. I tried to resist the urge to get all religious over it—I might not be too big on the Cult normally, but I’m usually not using Shadow’s own armor. It was just a tool; one I needed to use in order to save everypony I knew and loved. I slowly stepped up to the armor, and extended a single hoof towards it.

The instant I touched it, the world disappeared in a flash of white.


Next thing I knew, I was back home. Mom and Dad’s place, from back before I’d left West Hoof. The family photos gave it away; after I’d bailed from West Hoof, my parents didn’t keep any photos of me in my cadet uniform sitting on the mantle. A bit too much of a sore point for everypony.

Why I was there was the bigger question. The only thing I could think was that this had to be the ‘test of worth’ or whatever it was that happened before I got to actually use the armor. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be something simple like beating up a manticore. I suppose that figures: if I were Celestia, I’d be more worried about an evil pony getting their hooves on the armor than a wimpy one.

Despite being ready for just about anything, I was still very surprised when the front door opened, and Rainbow Dash stepped in. Especially when Rainbow followed up her entrance by unleashing a nasty glare that had me tensing and taking a step back before I even realized what I was doing. Then she started talking, her words dripping with venom. “You know, it’s funny that you’re always saying I’ve got an ego when you’re the one who’s so arrogant.”

Okay ... Rainbow Dash calling me an egotist was not what I was expecting from a metaphysical test of worth. I suppose I didn’t have much choice other than rolling with it for now, though. Besides, Rainbow saying a pony is stuck up and self-centered is a massive case of the pot calling the kettle black. “Since when have I been arrogant? Especially compared to you?”

Rainbow—or whatever weird mental projection thing I was dealing with that looked like Rainbow... Feather it, I was going to stick with thinking of her as Rainbow, just to avoid tying myself up in a bunch of mental knots. Anyway, Rainbow let out an angry snort and flicked her tail. “Yeah, you think you’re so much better than you really are. Like the whole sex thing. You’re always going on about how you’ve got these rules so you’re responsible, but then you turn around and talk about how you’re all liberated and open-minded too, and anypony who’s not the same way is just being stupid or backwards. Like how I’m a weird prude for not wanting to bang anything with a pulse.”

Okay, this definitely wasn’t the real Rainbow; Dash can’t talk about banging without getting blushy and mumbling. She paused, and her expression darkened. “It really boils down to one thing: you’re just sooo perfect when it comes to all that banging crap, and you think everypony else oughta be doing the exact same thing as you are. ‘Cause really, your way of doing things is just that much better than the way everypony else lives their lives. No way anypony could ever be happy with sex and love unless they’ve joined the Cloud Kicker School of Responsible Free Love.”

Okay, weird mental projection or not, I wasn’t going to let anypony ... anything ... whatever talk to me like that. “Yeah, I do think a lot of ponies would be better off if they had my attitude towards sex. Know why? Because they probably would. I’ve seen a lot of perfectly good relationships go down the toilet just because—”

Rainbow cut me off with another annoyed snort. “Like I said, arrogant. You think everypony oughta be like you, and if they’re not it means there’s something wrong with ‘em. Or they’re just too stupid to not understand how much better you are.”

Dash rolled her eyes, and started circling around me. “But I don’t care about any of that banging horseapples. It’s just a stupid waste of time, and all that’s nothing compared to what you’ve done now.” Rainbow met my eyes for a few seconds, then let out a mocking little scoff. “I mean, seriously, Cloud? Now you think you’re actually so great that you can just go trotting up and borrow feathering Shadow’s Armor? What’s next, saying you’re the prophesied Chosen One? Shadow Kicker reincarnated?”

“Oh come on!” I let out a frustrated little growl. “Not even you are that stuck up!”

“Nah, that’s a level of ego that’s reserved for the high and mighty Cloud Kicker,” she shot right back. “I mean, seriously, you’re a West Hoof dropout who abandoned her family for years! Where do you get off thinking that you’re capable of inheriting Shadow’s legacy? Your family’s already given up on you completely—your Dad’s been grooming Storm to take over the clan ever since you chickened out, and do you really think it’s a coincidence your parents had another kid right after you bailed on West Hoof? So why do you think you deserve something that only the best Kickers can use, even though you’re one of the worst ones ever?”

“Well maybe I don’t deserve it, but I need it or a whole lot of ponies are gonna die!” I shouted at her.

“Oh, you need it?” Rainbow repeated back with a mocking sneer. “Well why didn’t you just say so? Obviously we can just turn off all the security around the armor for anypony who comes in and says that they really want the armor.” Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “As for ponies dying ... you mean like all the ones who the changelings got ‘cause you insisted on running the show? ‘Cause a West Hoof dropout is definitely who I’d want in charge in the middle of a crisis. It’s not like you had Star there, who hasn’t spent years forgetting everything she learned in school. Or a bunch of veterans in your Watch who have actual experience. Or real feathering guards you could’ve handed things over to. Nope! It’s gotta be Cloud running the show, and too bad if anypony bites it ‘cause you can’t command your way out of a wet paper bag!”

Ouch. That one hurt, especially since I had made mistakes. I should’ve seen that ambush at the field hospital coming, but... “Everypony makes mistakes, Dash.”

“But you make a lot more,” she snapped right back. “And now you’re making ones that are getting ponies that are actually worth something killed. Though I guess that’s not too far removed from your whole stupid ‘let’s do an honor killing of my mom’ thing you were going on about a while back.”

I winced at that one. With the benefit of hindsight, I’d been horribly wrong about how to handle the situation with Mom. It’s a good thing my friends had been there to snap me out of that idea. That’s part of what makes a true friend so important: a good friend will back you up whenever you need them, but only your best friends will know when they need to pull you back from the brink and slap some sense into you. Granted, I needed to get a bit better at letting ponies slap some sense into me before I did something boneheaded, but still...

Rainbow glared down her muzzle at me, waiting for an answer. When I didn’t have one, she let out a final snort. “Just tell me one thing, Kicker. Do you really want to get the Armor to protect all the ponies here, or is this just some way to try and prove to everypony that you haven’t failed your clan? ‘Cause if that’s what the deal is, then all your ego and stupidity really just boils down to one big thing: you’re not worthy.” Something about the way she said that last bit sounded ... weighty, I guess. Significant.

“You say that like her ego’s her biggest problem.” I jumped in surprise as Blossom suddenly walked in from the corner of my eye. She wasn’t there a second ago, and her back was to a solid wall, so I don’t know how she could’ve gotten there when I wasn’t looking. Then again, this was all probably going on in my head or something, so I guess she didn’t really need to follow the rules of the real world.

Blossom slowly walked up to me and gave me an angry little shove. “Rainbow was right about one thing, though: you do think your rules make you better than you really are. You talk like they make you some sort of moral paragon of responsible sex. The way you actually live your life, on the other hoof, says something else. I mean, can you actually look back at any of your rules and point to one you haven’t broken in the last couple months?”

“Well, I haven’t banged any Diamond Dogs or tried mid-air sex.” I gave her best attempt at a charming smile, but it fell completely flat in the face of her pissed-off glare. “Just trying to lighten the mood a bit,” I confessed lamely.

When that earned me even more glaring, I sat down and gave that question some actual thought. The results didn’t look very good. I hadn’t lied to any of them or had an affair with another pony in a committed relationship, but otherwise ... yeah, eight out of twelve rules broken. That’s not a very good track record.

“You know, when I first heard about your rules, I was really impressed.” Blossom smiled and briefly stroked my cheek. “I thought there was this whole side to you I’d never really seen before. Sure, there had been glimpses of you being considerate and more than just a hedonist, but you’d never really put it all out there on the table before. I felt like l was finally getting to know the real you instead of the facade you put up for everypony else to see. You know, the old story about the pony who seems shallow on the surface, but deep down there’s so much more to them?”

Blossom growled and gave an angry toss of her head. “Sounds like a story out of a cheap romance novel. Turns out that just like those, it’s also a big load of horseapples. Maybe you do have that deeper layer to you, but underneath that is another, even deeper layer that’s just like the surface. You might care about your rules on some level, but your track record shows that when push comes to shove, you’ll pick your own pleasure over following most of them.”

“Oh come on!” My wings gave several angry flicks as I tried to come up with an answer that didn’t involve a string of profanity. “You know that’s not true! You want me to admit that I don’t follow my own rules all the time? Fine. I admit, I screw up on them. That’s why I have those rules in the first place. Because I’m not a perfect pony, and I know that I’m gonna be tempted to do a lot of things I shouldn’t. So I need those rules to remind me that even though my incredibly sexy best friend is throwing herself at me right now, sleeping with her while she’s drunk would be a bad move.” I sighed, and ran a hoof through my mane. “But just because I’ve made some huge mistakes, and broken a lot of those rules doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in them. That I don’t try to follow them.” I paused, and took a deep breath as I gathered my thoughts. “I think I’m a better mare for having those rules, and for trying to live up to them. Not perfect, not even close to it, but better than I’d be if I didn’t have any rules.”

“Nice little speech,” Blossom offered with a sneer, “but none of that changes the fact that you can’t even follow a set of rules you made up yourself. You don’t deserve Shadow’s Armor if you can’t even manage that.”

This time I wasn’t even surprised when Derpy came in from the edge of my peripheral vision and started talking. I think I was starting to figure out how this whole thing worked—I was pretty sure that after Derpy finished chewing me out for not being ‘worthy,’ Fluttershy would show up next to start ripping into me.

“This isn’t right, Cloud. You trying to use this armor ... it’s wrong.” I was a little surprised that Derpy wasn’t yelling at me the way Rainbow and Blossom had. Instead, she was just using that sad, quiet, disappointed tone. The same one she used whenever Dinky or Sparkler had been misbehaving. In a way, that made it harder to deal with. When a pony starts yelling in your face, it’s easy to get defensive and yell right back at them. Quiet disappointment, on the other hoof...

“Cloud, think about everything you’ve done in your life. All the ponies you’ve hurt.” She stepped in front of me, and put a hoof on my shoulder. “Think about all the choices you’ve made, ever since Flight Camp. All the ponies you hurt and abandoned. Your friends. Your family. Your lovers.” Derpy paused for a second, her voice broke as she added, “Me.”

At that moment I didn’t care if she was just a figment of my own imagination conjured up as part of this test, she still looked like she desperately needed a hug. So I gave her one. I just can’t look at a pony who I care about suffering and not do anything to comfort them. I’m just not built that way. “Derpy, I’m so sorry about that. Really. I know I’ve said it dozens of times already, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I am so sorry about everything that happened with Blossom.”

“If you were really sorry, it wouldn’t have happened,” Derpy offered a sad shake of her head. “Think about it, Cloud. As long as I told you we could keep things easy and casual, just be friends with benefits and nothing more, you were fine. You couldn’t be happier about having sex with me as long as it came with no strings attached. But then we started getting closer to one another, and...”

“Yeah, it didn’t end well.” One of my ears gave a slightly annoyed twitch. “I made a single mistake in a moment of weakness, and—”

“A single mistake?” Derpy’s tail flicked, and her eyes narrowed in anger. “I can forgive a single mistake, but don’t act like that’s all you did. If you didn’t want to make a commitment to me, you should’ve just said as much. I would’ve understood; I wouldn’t have been happy about it, but I would’ve understood that you weren’t ready. Instead, you led me on and let me think we were building up something special. Then as soon as you were done with that, you went right back to chasing the two ponies that actually mattered to you.” Her ears went flat against her skull, and her voice turned bitter. “I should've known I was just another placeholder for Fluttershy.”

“Derpy...” I tried to pull her in for a full-body hug, but she set her hind legs into the floor and refused to budge. “You weren’t just a placeholder to me. I don’t do that kind of thing to ponies.”

“Then why did you abandon me to go chasing after your best friend who couldn’t spit it out, or your ex who broke up with you more than a decade ago?” She gave an angry shake of her head and pushed me back a foreleg. “Saying I’m not a placeholder would’ve counted for a lot more if you didn’t respond to me asking for a serious commitment by spending more time with other ponies.”

“Well, what did you expect?” I grumbled. “I liked the idea of us being a couple, but...” I tried to think of the most diplomatic way to put it, then gave up on diplomacy and settled for blunt honesty. “You started getting really clingy, and it got on my nerves.”

“But the whole reason I started acting that way was because you abandoned me,” she shot right back. “If I was moving too fast for you, you should’ve talked to me about that. I could’ve slowed down and given you time, or adjusted my own expectations. Instead, you kept making promises you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep. You can say that you only slept with Blossomforth because you had a moment of weakness, but it was obvious for weeks before then that you were drifting away from me and towards her. As for Fluttershy ... I’m still not convinced that every single pony you’ve bedded since Flight Camp wasn’t just an effort to fill the gap she left behind.”

“Derpy, I...” I took a moment to find the right words. “Firsts are always a big deal to a pony. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that Fluttershy is always going to have a special place in my heart, no matter what happens. But that doesn’t mean that the ponies who have come into my life after her count for any less than she does. That would be like saying you love Sparkler less than Dinky because you had Dinky before you adopted her. Besides, if it was all about who I’ve known and loved the longest, wouldn’t that mean you count for more than Blossom does? That would make it pretty silly for you to be scared of her.”

Derpy offered a gentle smile. “That's a very sweet thought, Cloud.” The smile faded, and her eyes hardened. “And it would mean something if you hadn't lied to me about bedding Blossom and Fluttershy.”

“When did I lie to you?” I demanded. “At most, I put off confessing a bit to deal with everything else that was going on in my life first. You know, like burying my mother.”

Derpy let out an annoyed little snort and waved a hoof dismissively. “Maybe you didn’t lie as such, but you haven’t been completely honest with me either. I understand that you’ve been going through a lot, Cloud—but just because you need to wait to apologize to me doesn't mean you should do more things to apologize for until then.” She let out a pained sigh and gave a resigned shake of her head. “The simple truth is that you've taken every opportunity to hurt me at every turn. I felt a lot of things when I found out you’d slept with Blossomforth. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Devastated. But ... the one thing I didn’t feel was surprised. I’ve gotten used to being hurt by you. I'm just surprised you stayed with me for as long as you did. I’m sorry, but I can’t say that you’re worthy.”

As soon as Derpy finished telling me I wasn’t good enough, I spun around to try and find Eepy when she made her inevitable appearance. After all, Blossom and Derpy had both shown up from out of my line of sight. Maybe I was just being stubbornly contrary, but I wasn’t going to play along too much with whatever little cheap dramatic tricks this mind screw spell wanted to pull on me. When Fluttershy finally showed up, she walked through the front door like a normal pony instead of dramatically appearing behind me. I counted that as a small victory.

Eepy walked up to me, gave me a quick once-over, and was about to get started when I beat her to the punch. “Let me guess: my numerous personal failures mean that I’m not qualified to wear Shadow’s Armor, right?”

Fluttershy flinched back, refusing to look at me. Despite the fact that I knew this was all in my head and I wasn’t dealing with the real Fluttershy, I instantly felt like a monster and started trying to apologize. It’s just a matter of instinct whenever I’m faced with a sad Eepy.

After a couple moments, Fluttershy seemed to have recovered from that little meekness attack and turned to face me. “Cloud Kicker, I wish I could say you’re a good enough to deserve this, but I’m afraid I can’t. It’s just that, well ... um, I know a lot about what it’s like to be afraid. To run away from your problems instead of facing them. So, well, I think you need to get just a teeny tiny bit better about not doing that before you can use the armor.”

Okay, I could deal with a lot of things, but being called a coward kind of got to me. “Five minutes ago I was fighting hoof and wing against the changelings! The only reason I’m here now is that I need a better way to fight them off. Sitting back and holding the line was all well and good when we could count on Celestia to save us, but if she’s gone...” I gave an angry shake of my head. “Other than the Elements, Shadow’s Armor is the only thing I know of that might be able to turn this around. Even then, it’s probably gonna cost me my life if I try to take on the bug queen wearing it, but ... if it comes down to that, I’ll do it.” My eyes narrowed in determination. “I’ll do my damndest to make it out of this in one piece, but if it comes down to giving my life to save everypony else ... I think I can make that trade. Does that sound like something a coward would do?”

Eepy gave a sad shake of her head, then reached out and put a hoof on my chest. “There’s more than one kind of bravery, Cloud Kicker. You can be very brave on the battlefield and still be afraid when it comes to your personal life. There’s nothing wrong with that; sometimes a broken heart hurts far more than a broken bone.” She stepped forward and gently nuzzled my cheek. “That’s why it was so much easier for you to reconnect with Rainbow Dash than it was for you to even start rebuilding with me.”

“You say that like Rainbow didn’t do anything worse than rough me up a bit,” I grumbled. “It was ... hard, getting back to being friends with her. The fight with her hurt me just as much as losing you did. If she hadn’t kept reaching out to me, even after all the times I rejected her, we probably never would’ve gotten to a point where we could become friends again.”

“So why didn’t you try to reach out to me?” Fluttershy demanded. A second later she answered her own question while pulling me into a hug. “You were afraid of being hurt. That’s okay, really. Anypony would be afraid after what you went through. I know I was. But you let your fear control you. Instead of reaching out from me, you ran away from me.”

“I didn’t run away,” I grumbled. “I moved to Ponyville. You know, the town where you live?”

“But then you just avoided me.” Fluttershy stepped back and gave a sad shake of her head. “We could’ve worked things out so much sooner, but instead you wouldn’t talk to me. Was there any reason the talk we finally had to settle things between us couldn’t have happened years ago?”

I let out a frustrated little growl. “Well it’s not like you were trying to reach out to me.”

“I could have,” she admitted. “In fact, I should have. But this isn’t about me or us, Cloud. It’s about you. It’s about whether you have the qualities needed to use your ancestor’s armor. Let’s be honest, I’m not the only problem you’ve run away from. West Hoof. Your family. Derpy. Blossomforth. You have a bad habit of trying to run away or hide from your problems. You knew you couldn’t avoid hurting Derpy or Blossomforth if you didn’t make a choice, and you kept putting it off.”

“How was I supposed to choose between two ponies I love?” I demanded, stomping on the floor. “It’s impossible!”

“Then you should have told them that,” Eepy answered, putting a hoof on my shoulder. “At least it would have made things clear, instead of leaving them both hanging in limbo. You could have just insisted on having an open, loving, non-exclusive relationship. Instead, you kept trying to do whatever you thought would make them happy at that moment. You were so worried about hurting them a little that you would up making things worse by not taking a stand.” She turned away, refusing to meet my eyes. “Then ... there’s me.”

“What about you?”

She met my eyes, tears brimming in her own. “Do you really think I wanted things to be over between us?”

“No.” Admitting that felt like getting kicked in the guts. “The whole ... closure thing. It sounded nice, but I don’t think either one of us really wanted to put an end to things.” My ears went flat against my skull. “That’s what you wanted to talk to me about, isn’t it? Well, the real you,” I reminded myself. It was way too easy to forget that I was dealing with some spell version of her. “You don’t want things over between us. I bet the only reason you even said as much was to make it easier on me.” The rest of the truth came crashing down. “And I let you. I let you back out of a relationship we both wanted, just because it would give me one less problem to deal with.”

“It wasn’t all your fault,” Eepy said, giving me a reassuring little nuzzle. “I made mistakes too. A lot of ponies have. But we can’t ignore our own mistakes just because other ponies make them too. Running away from your problems is never a solution. I’m afraid that until you learn that, you won’t be worthy to use Shadow’s Armor.”

I was hurting too much from everything I’d just heard to think about trying to disrupt the spell. One or two ponies pointing out my flaws, I could try and brush off. Four of them was enough to start getting to me. I just hoped that this was the end of it. I’d had just about all I could take of ponies pointing out every single reason I didn’t deserve Shadow’s Armor.

Then Mom showed up.

I felt something inside me snap when I saw her. I might’ve been beaten down, but I damn sure wasn’t broken yet. Using my friends and lovers against me was one thing, but trying to hurt me with my own mother ... it was just beyond the pale. “Let me guess, now I get to hear all about how I’ve failed and abandoned my family? How I’m a blight on the clan’s entire history because I ran out on West Hoof and the Guard?”

I stepped up and gave her a little shove in the chest. “What do you want from me? So I’m not perfect. Nopony is! Rainbow’s self-centered and insensitive, Blossom has spent her whole life playing it safe, Derpy’s so focused on making her daughters happy that she tried to rope me into being a stepmom as soon as I got close to her, and Fluttershy’s so scared of conflict that she gave up on us.” I walked up to the image of my mother and looked her in the eyes. “And Mom ... I love you. I always have, and always will. But you could be a stubborn, inflexible bitch who showed me less affection in your whole life than Derpy shows her girls in a single day. I know you loved me just as much, but would it have killed you to give me a feathering hug and say the actual words every once in a while?”

I turned my back on her, and started pacing. “So, you want me to admit that I’ve got a long list of feather-ups in my life? Fine, I admit it. But that’s just part of living life. The only way anypony can go through life without screwing something up is if they never do anything at all. So yeah, I’ve made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. Some of them, I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. Some of them I’ve learned from, and others I’m still trying to learn from so I don’t make them again. That’s just how life goes. You wanna rip me a new one because some of my mistakes wound up hurting other ponies? Sure, I’ll give you that. Just explain to me how the hay anypony can go through life without ever getting hurt. Relationships are all about opening yourself up to other ponies. Sometimes that’ll go badly and ponies will get hurt, but that’s a small price to pay for all the wonderful things you can only experience with another pony.”

Mom stared down at me for several seconds, her face a neutral mask. “Then you say your inadequacies are irrelevant to your worthiness?”

“What I’m saying,” I growled back, “is that if this test of worth is gonna shoot down anypony who isn’t perfect, then it’s a load of horseapples. Everypony makes mistakes and all of us have flaws.”

“So that excuses your errors?” Mom demanded. “That you are allowed to be as much of a failure as you wish and suffer no consequences, simply because perfection is impossible?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t think you could say that I haven’t paid for any of my mistakes. I’ve lost a lot, and sometimes other ponies have suffered because of that too. Thing is, you can’t just give up on life because you’ve feathered up once or twice. You can’t change the past, and spending your whole life complaining about how things went wrong isn’t gonna fix anything. Whenever you make a mistake, you have to pick yourself up off the ground, try and learn from it, and move on. So yeah, I’m not perfect. I’m probably never gonna be perfect. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit back and accept all of my flaws.”

I waved a hoof at the mental versions of my friends. “A lot of what they said hurt, probably because there was a lot of truth in there. But you know what? I’m gonna listen to them. There are things in my personal life that aren’t right, and I need to fix them. I need to tell Fluttershy that she doesn’t need to back off to make me happy. I need to stop running from my feelings for Blossom. I need to have a big talk with Derpy about how much she means to me, and what I wanted from a relationship with her.”

“And your family?” Mom asked.

“I love my family,” I answered. “I always have, and I always will. But ... I’m gonna love them on my terms. I don’t need to be in the Guard to spend time with my family, or let them know how much I love them. Dad, Alula, Star, Storm, Aunt Wind, all of them. None of them loved me any less after I left the Guard. Things got a bit awkward, yeah, but they still supported me and stuck with me. I always kind of think of myself as the black sheep of the family, but ... I think I’m the only pony who does, really. I don’t need to go back into the Guard to make my family love me, ‘cause they already do. I have a life in Ponyville, and I shouldn’t throw it away to go chasing after the past. Especially when I don’t need to.”

Mom stared at me for several seconds before she finally answered me. “That was a nice speech, Cloud. However, I’m afraid it doesn’t change the fact that you are not worthy.” She met my eyes, and offered me the small, proud, loving smile I remembered seeing a few times when I was a filly. “But that will never change the fact that I will always love you.”

Right after she said that, my parents’ house started fading away around us, slowly dissolving into gentle white light, along with my friends and family. Before Mom could completely fade away, I grabbed her and pulled her into one last hug. “I love you too, Mom. I love you too.”

I kept holding on until she was completely gone.


Next thing I knew, I was back on the main field at the Kicker Compound. Except ... a lot of stuff wasn’t right. There were open areas where I remembered there being buildings, and the reverse. More than that, the whole place had a starkness to it that I didn’t remember. The Kicker Compound I’d grown up in was a fortress that had been serving as a home for so long that you could easily forget that it was a repurposed military installation. This Kicker Compound felt more military than the cadet barracks at West Hoof or most of the Guard camps I’d seen.

Then I saw Her, and it all made sense. I guess this must have been what the Compound looked like in her time. I slowly started walking towards her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say. I mean, it’s Shadow Kicker! What does a pony say to her? Soon I was standing in front of her, and my mouth decided to outrun my brain and just say the first thing it thought of. “I thought you’d be taller.”

Shadow just raised a single eyebrow at my comment, looking down her muzzle at me. I like to think I’m a bit bigger and buffer than the average mare, but Shadow was tall enough that I needed to tilt my head back to actually look her in the eyes. After a few seconds of painfully awkward silence, she gave a faint smirk and answered. “My apologies then, descendent, for failing to meet thine expectations.”

Huh. Well that’s not what I’d expected to hear right after everypony kept telling me how terrible of a pony I was. Wait, did this mean that... “So ... did I pass the test?”

“Neigh.” She gave a quick shake of her head. “Thou art not worthy to bear my armor into battle, though it gives me no pleasure to say it.”

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still hurt to hear her actually come out and say it. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance this is one of those tests where how I handle with getting turned down is the final ring I need to fly through before I actually get it?”

“‘Tis not,” Shadow answered. “Though if thou wouldst e’er seek an artifact of Commander Celestia’s, I might advise thee to be watchful for such an artifice.”

“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever try to use the Elements of Harmony,” I answered dryly. I thought over my literary clichés for a bit. “So ... that’s it? Just a flat no? It’s not gonna be something like I have to prove myself by trying to fight the bug bitch queen, and after I heroically sacrifice myself I will have proven that I deserve the armor and come back to life with it? Or that admitting I’m unworthy is the test?”

“Neigh, on both counts.”

I thought about it for a bit longer. “If it turns out that the armor does nothing, and the whole point of this thing was just some sort of ‘you had the power within yourself all along’ thing, I’m gonna smack you.”

“‘Tis nothing of the sort,” Shadow answered. “I would not advise striking me, regardless.”

“Huh.” My ears went flat. “So that’s it? I’m not good enough, and there’s no way I’m ever gonna be qualified to wear your armor? That’s ... that kinda sucks. No, that really sucks.”

“I did not say that thou wouldst never have the needed qualities,” Shadow corrected. “Thou art not possessed of them now, aye, but that is a thing that can change given time. Had I wished to simply deny thee, I would hardly have needed to make thee face such a trial.”

I shot her an annoyed glare. “So what was the point then? Throwing my friends and my mother at me was...” I struggled to find the right words for it, and eventually gave up on the effort. “Bottom line, I’m not happy with you right now. If you were gonna put me through all of that, and then just tell me that I never even had a chance, then you’re not the pony I thought you were.”

Shadow stood tall, and imperiously stared down her muzzle at me. “Firstly, I am not Shadow. Merely ... an echo of her, left behind. As for what passed within thy mind, thou didst hear hard words, aye. Mayhaps e’en cruel. I think them needful nonetheless. Mind them and take them to heart, and when next thou seekest to claim my armor, thou shalt be worthy of it.” She looked down at me for a seconds longer, then said, “I would also remind thee that a suit of armor can hardly know all of the events of thy life. The trials thou didst face were drawn from thine own knowledge and memories.”

It took a moment to see where she was going with that argument. Sure, it was obvious that the armor had to have had a look at my memories, but I didn’t really see why she felt the need to point that out. Eventually, I connected the dots. “You’re saying the armor didn’t just read my memories and build off of them, it took all the criticism from my head too?”

“Indeed.” She fixed me with a piercing gaze. “In the quiet places of our own mind, we are always our own harshest critics.”

“Well that’s just feathering great.” I started pacing around, growling under my breath. “So now a whole bunch of ponies are going to die, and all because I have issues.”

Shadow glowered down at me. “If the thought of such suffering troubles thee so, might I advise that thou desist from thy wallowing in melancholy and do what thou canst with the power thou hast at thy hooves? In all times past when thou didst find thyself in dire straits, didst thou wail and lament at those options closed to thee, or didst thou act to solve thine own problems?” She gave a final shake of her head. “My armor cannot solve thy troubles. Only thou canst do so. Though ‘twas an old saying e’en in my own time that the armor is only as good as the pony who wears it.”

Shadow stepped up and put a single hoof on my shoulder. “Be at peace, descendant. The Armor is far from the only path to victory. The changelings are at their most dangerous when hidden; unveiled, they will fall soon enough. ‘Tis only a question of who shall deliver the final blow. E’en Celestia’s seeming defeat may simply be part of some larger strategy.” She gave me a smile that was so quick and small I wasn’t sure that I hadn’t just imagined it. “Fear not. There is always hope, e’en in the darkest hour.”

After delivering those parting words, she started slowly fading away; I guess neither of us could really afford to stand around shooting the breeze while there was a war going on.

It was strange, but I didn’t feel nearly as depressed as I should’ve about getting turned down by Shadow’s Armor. I mean, you would think that being told you weren’t a proper member of your clan, and unsuited to carry on the legacy of its greatest hero would be a real kick in the gut. However, I wasn’t feeling that way. To be honest, I was hurting more from the psychological beating I’d taken before Shadow showed up. That’s not to say the rejection didn’t hurt at all, but I felt okay about how the whole thing had gone. Maybe it was just because of how I was turned down. Less ‘you’re a terrible pony who doesn’t deserve this’ and more ‘you’re not quite ready for it, but one day you will be.’

Maybe that was why I said what I did. “Hey, Shadow. Before you go, can I ask you one question?” When she nodded for me to proceed, I did so. “Sorry, it’s just ... I have to know. Did you and Celestia ever bang?”

Instead of giving me an answer, all I got from Shadow was a disapproving scowl as she faded away. Soon it was just me, and a rapidly fading mindscape. Right before it was gone completely, I offered my own conclusions. “You two totally did it.”


My good mood lasted until I left the vault and ran into Star nervously pacing around outside. That’s when the reality of the situation all came crashing back in on me. Everypony had been expecting me to get the armor and bring some extra firepower in on our side, not to mention give everypony a much-needed morale boost after the news that Celestia had been captured by the bugs. I don’t think telling everypony that I’d gained a bit of personal enlightenment would do much for morale.

Sure enough, Star’s grin when she spotted me quickly turned into a confused frown when she realized that I was still wearing the same old armor. She needed a couple seconds to actually figure out what to say to that. “Cloud, please tell me that Shadow’s Armor has some sort of stealth spell on it or something.”

I sighed and gave a small shake of my head. “Sorry, but it doesn’t. We’re on our own for this one. Probably not a good idea to spread that particular fact around.”

Star winced and couldn’t look me in the eye. “I already told a couple ponies you were going into the vault. You know, to help soften the blow once the news about Celestia got out.”

“Super.” I groaned and facehoofed. “So when I show up without the Armor on, everypony’s gonna know that I couldn’t get it. Could things get any worse?” In hindsight, I really should’ve known better than to tempt fate like that.

Star grimaced and shot a look out at the city. “Our forward observers said there’s a lot more bug activity near the compound. Apparently things really picked up after you went into the vault.”

Oh feathers. I’d been aware of the possibility that the bugs might intercept whatever message Celestia was supposed to get whenever somepony opened the vault, but back when I’d expected to get the Armor that hadn’t been as much of an issue. With it, I could’ve knocked the bugs back, and maybe even tried to push back to the palace and free Celestia. Yeah, enough bugs could probably swarm me down, but Shadow’s armor was supposed to be a huge force multiplier. If I’d hit hard and fast enough, I might’ve broken through before the changelings could mount a proper defense.

Instead, all I’d managed to do is make the changelings think I was a major threat without actually getting my hooves on anything that could alter the course of the battle. So far, the changelings had seemed content to keep us locked up in the compound while they hit the rest of the city. However, thanks to me they would probably start coming after us for real—I didn’t like my odds when it came to holding out against a concentrated assault by overwhelming numbers.

“So how about we move on to the good news?” I offered lamely. Under the circumstances, it was the closest thing to a joke I could manage.

“When we get some, I’ll let you know,” Star answered dryly. “So what’s our next move?”

I didn’t need long to work that out. “I’m going to go check out what the changelings are up to. Maybe I can get lucky and spot a weakness or something. You get your plot down to the vault and see if you can get the Armor.”

“What?” Star’s jaw dropped. “How am I supposed to get it if you couldn’t?”

I stepped up and put a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “You’re a better Kicker than I am, Star. Besides, we have to keep exploring every option. I’m not so proud I’ll let the Armor sit in the vault just because I couldn’t use it.”

Star stared at me for a long moment, shuffling her hooves uncertainly, then finally nodded and got moving. I’ll admit, there was a very tiny and extremely petty part of me that hoped I wasn’t about to be shown up by my little cousin. It was nothing compared to my hopes that we could still bring the Armor into play, and how proud I would be of Star if she could pull it off, though.

I took a deep breath, and then risked a quick flight to get to a good vantage point. There hadn’t been any real aerial clashes with the changelings after their first wave came in, but I still didn’t want to get too far from the ground. In this kind of situation, flying too high would leave me isolated and mark me as a clear target for the bugs. Thankfully, I made it to one of the observation posts without any trouble.

Naturally, I picked a place where I’d already posted somepony. No sense in letting a good vantage point go to waste; even a minute’s warning before the bugs launched an attack could make a huge difference. The conscript manning the post looked like he was around Sparkler’s age; too old to still be a colt, but still not quite up to proper stallionhood. As soon as he spotted me he gave a valiant effort at making a proper salute with the wrong hoof. “Uh, hello ma’am. Captain. Ma’am!”

I considered just telling him to put his hoof down—he wasn’t a proper soldier and normal Guard policy on saluting in the field was fairly lax—but there was probably no harm in humoring him. If we were going to rely on civilian conscripts to add some extra ponypower, they deserved to be treated like real soldiers. I quickly returned the salute and got down to business. “What’s the situation?”

From the way he needed a second to gather his thoughts before he answered, I got the feeling I’d rattled him a bit. “Um, right. That.” He cleared his throat, then waved a hoof towards the palace. “The bugs have been moving around a lot. There’s a pretty big group of them headed towards the palace, and I’ve seen a lot of them moving around near us. About ten minutes ago, I started seeing a lot more.”

“How many more?”

He gave a helpless shrug. “A lot. It’s hard to tell for sure when they all look the same.”

Having a more specific number would have been nice, but I couldn’t really fault him for not knowing them. After all, even a trained scout usually couldn’t manage much more than a fairly accurate guess at how large an enemy army was. Expecting a civilian to manage that was probably hoping for too much. “Don’t worry about it,” I reassured him. “Keep up the good work—” I paused, feeling a bit self-conscious as I realized I didn’t know his name. “Keep up the good work.” I finished lamely.

If he noticed that I’d blanked on remembering his name—assuming I’d ever known it in the first place—he gave no sign of it. Instead he grinned and gave me another salute that made up for its lack of technical accuracy with its enthusiasm. “Yes ma’am!” I returned the salute, and was about to head to the next observation post when he called out, “Ma’am, I think you need to see this!”

I turned back around, and followed his pointing hoof to see a single changeling slowly walking towards the compound. What was weird about it was that the changeling was wearing what looked like a white tablecloth over its back. It didn’t take long for me to put two and two together. “I guess the bugs couldn’t find a flagpole harness on short notice.”

“So that’s supposed to be a white flag?” The conscripts turned to me with a confused frown. “They’re surrendering?”

“No, a white flag just means they want to talk.” If there was going to be any talk of surrender, it would probably be the bugs trying to get me to throw in the towel. That wasn’t happening.

“Huh.” He glared suspiciously at the approaching changeling. “Could be a trap.”

“I wasn’t planning to go out and talk to him until he gets close enough for everypony in the compound to cover us.” I looked down at the slowly approaching bug. “Them wanting do some negotiating is an interesting move. Might find out something useful talking to it.” If nothing else, negotiation might buy us some more time. Luna had to be on the way with reinforcements by now.

Once the changeling was within spitting distance of the compound walls, I flew down toward it. I did a quick check of the area to make sure there weren’t a dozen changelings lurking around to ambush me the instant I landed, then dropped down in front of the emissary.

The changeling just stared at me blankly for a couple seconds after I landed. It didn’t take me long to lose patience and start things myself. “I’m Cloud Kicker, Captain of the Kicker Home Watch and commander of this position. If you want to talk, get to it.”

The bug stared at me for a second longer, then started twitching. Several green, veiny lines slowly appeared on its carapace, and soon I realized that it was actually growing. A lank, dark blue mane and tail sprouted from its head and hindquarters, and it’s blank blue compound eyes shifted into slitted green ones. The horn went from the stubby little protuberance most changelings had to a long and jagged one. By the time the whole transformation was done, I was face-to-face with something that looked was a bit taller than me and covered in this glowing green veins of what I assumed was some sort of magical energy. The effect was rather intimidating, though I tried not to show it.

“Ah, there you are.” When the bug spoke it had a female-sounding voice, though there was an odd sort of reverberation to her words. “I would apologize for not coming to see you personally, but to be honest you’re really not important enough to take me away from the palace. I’m far too busy gloating over Celestia.”

Ah, the most important opening phase of diplomatic negotiations. Trash talk. “So, I’m guessing you’re Bug Bitch-Queen, then.” I was willing to bet that the weird transformation thing the changeling had gone through was supposed to let it act as her mouthpiece for a while. Hive minds are useful that way.

The changeling gave a slight twitch at that. “You are speaking to Queen Chrysalis, yes.” The bug smirked at me. “And really, that was the best insult you could manage? I’ve heard far better. Creatures can become so creative when you’re destroying everything they know and love.”

“Guess you’ll have to live with never hearing my best insults then,” I shot back.

“I didn’t have much hope for you anyway.” Chrysalis met my eyes and grinned. “When I captured your mother, she didn’t say anything beyond a few grunts.” She brought a hoof up to her chin. “Though in hindsight, that was probably because I’d glued her mouth shut.”

Bringing up Mom was a blatant ploy to get me pissed off, but being obvious didn’t make it any less effective. “You’re going to pay for that,” I growled.

“Oh please.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You’re all self-righteous and angry just because I killed your mother? I've killed thousands of mothers; what makes yours so special? Besides, you’re nowhere close to as mad as the mothers get when I eat their children first. So really, I was doing you a favor.” She gave a cavalier toss of her head. “And really, why stop at just your mother? I’ve also kidnapped and ... persuaded one of your closest friends to serve Equestria’s new queen. I also have an appreciable amount of your clan cocooned in the palace for later feeding, including your father. Perhaps I should finish him off now, for symmetry?” She gave a thoughtful little frown “Hmm, I suppose your sister is in your clan’s bunkers, right? Maybe I should see how he reacts if I make him watch while my children consume her until she’s nothing but a withered husk. It’s not like it would take very long, after how much my mercenary fed on her.”

She waved a hoof towards the palace. “Also, just in case you were holding out any hope for a rescue, my children have also just captured one of your lovers and your best friend when they tried to get the Elements of Harmony. The rainbow one was especially troublesome to contain—she might have gotten away if not for her loyalty to her friends.”

She paused, then glared at me. “That matter aside, let’s not forget that you killed my mercenary. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find good help these days? Especially when every single mercenary I can find thinks I'll just eat them after the job's done instead of paying them.” She paused, then smirked. “They're right, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less inconvenient.”

By now I was having a hard time containing myself. Between confirmation that the bugs had Dad and her claim that they’d caught the Element Bearers, she was definitely getting under my skin. “Yeah, well, you made a big mistake. I know why you’re here; you know I’ve got Shadow’s Armor now, and that just might give me enough firepower to take you down. Especially after however much it took out of you to deal with Celestia.”

If the bluff had any effect on Chrysalis, she didn’t show it. “I hope you aren’t about to break out into one of those terrible, cliché-filled speeches about how I’m finally going to pay for my crimes and blah blah justice for all my victims...” She fixed me with a piercing gaze. “I do wonder, though, why you’re not wearing this special armor of yours right now. It’s enough to make one suspicious that maybe you don’t have it after all.”

That guess was way too close to home, so I kept my face as unreadable as possible and threw out the best excuse I could think of at a moment’s notice. “You think I’d give you a chance to study the Armor before I use it on you?”

It looked like she bought the explanation, mostly because she’d seized on a different perceived opening. “Afraid I might find a weakness, are you?”

“The only thing I’m afraid of,” I answered levelly, “is that somepony else might beat me to killing you.” If I wanted her to buy that I had the armor waiting in the wings, my best bet was to keep up a strong facade. If she knew just how weak my fighting position really was, there was no way I could get out of this in one piece.

“Well, that does sound rather dangerous.” She took a step closer, into my personal space. “If this armor of yours is so powerful, maybe I should just kill you right now, while you’re not wearing it?”

Oops. I think I might have oversold the threat.

I tried very hard not to show any signs of budding panic, and look as unbothered by the idea as she was. “You can feel free to try that. But we’re right next to a small army of my clanponies, and you’re not nearly as dangerous when you’re working through a mouthpiece.” I was talking out of my plot on that last point, but it wasn’t a completely bad one. If she could just grab any random changeling in her swarm and give it all of her power, she wouldn’t need to have the real her be at the palace keeping an eye on Celestia.

“Hmmm.” She mulled that over for several seconds, while I tried very hard not to sweat. Finally, she gave an uncaring shrug. “I suppose we do technically have a truce right now. It would be bad for my reputation if I broke it. Besides, killing you would mean wasting perfectly good food.” She waved a hoof like she was tossing a bit of garbage over her shoulder. “So then, since I’m not going to murder you, how about we get down to business?”

“Sounds good.” I was getting way too used to casually dismissing the prospect of dying slowly and painfully.

Chrysalis smirked down at me. “So, you and your little group are dug into a fortified position, and you do have a rather potent magical artifact under your control. Nothing I couldn’t wear down with my vastly superior numbers, but doing that would cost me far more of my children than I’d prefer. In light of that, I am willing to discuss terms of surrender.”

I thought that over for all of half a second, mostly because I wanted to make sure I had my smartflanked answer down perfectly. “I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t accept your surrender. I’d like to, but the clan’s compound just doesn’t have large enough facilities to hold that many changelings.”

“Sarcasm,” she commented dryly. “How original. Nonetheless, my offer stands. Surrender. Give me the armor and your compound, and I’ll allow all of the ponies within safe passage out of the city.”

“So, give up all of bargaining chips in the hopes that after I do, you’ll still keep your end of the bargain?” I summed up. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“Pity, I was hoping you were that stupid.” She let out a vaguely annoyed sigh. “Very well then, a more realistic offer. My changelings withdraw to form a clear path out of the city for everypony in your clanhold. You keep the armor until you reach the city limits, then leave it.”

I suppose that was theoretically a better deal, if only because it would be slightly harder to break. Still nothing any sane pony would actually accept. “Not happening.”

“Oh very well then, I’ll sweeten the pot.” She leaned in. “Once you reach the edge of the city, I will trade your father, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Lyra Heartstrings for the Armor.”

Ouch. Common sense still said that cutting any sort of bargain with her was a terrible idea, but being reminded that she had a whole bunch of ponies I cared about under her control stung. I still wouldn’t take any deal she offered; I had no reason to believe she was negotiating in good faith, so whatever she offered was pretty much meaningless. Still, that offer was just tempting enough that I might be able to use it to my advantage. “I need twenty-four hours to consider that proposal. Do we have a truce for that long?” Buying an entire day of peace would give me some much-needed breathing room, and would hopefully give Luna and the rest of the Guard enough time to get to Canterlot.

Chrysalis thought that over for a moment. “Not twenty-four hours, but I can give you a little bit of time. Here is my final offer: I’m going to release this avatar, and gloat over the fact that I’ve crushed just about every other potential threat in Canterlot. I do need to show Celestia that the Elements of Harmony won’t be able to save her, after all. Once I get bored of rubbing my victory in her face I’ll come back here for your answer. Do pick wisely; my patience is not infinite. Normally I wouldn’t even give you a chance to think it over, but I’m in a good mood. This day has been just ... perfect.”

The veins of magical power disappeared, and the changeling flopped to the ground and began slowly reverting back to its original state. For lack of any other idea on what to do with it, I just left it there. Lying on the ground.

I trotted back into the compound and let everypony know what the deal was. “We’ve got a temporary truce with bugs until the Bug Bitch-Queen, in her own words, gets tired of gloating over her victory. So we’ve got anywhere from five minutes to five years.” That got a few grim chuckles out of everypony. “Keep an eye out for an attack, but don’t start anything just yet. The longer the truce lasts, the more time it’ll give for reinforcements to come in.”

A quick look through the ranks was enough to find Star, but between the way her head was hanging low and the fact that she was still in her old clan armor, I didn’t even need to ask how things had gone. I was a little curious about why she got shot down by the armor, though if I had to guess it might just be that Shadow was wary of hoofing it over to a cadet. Or maybe she figured that putting trackers on everypony was a sign of some deeper issues. I wouldn’t blame her for that under most circumstances, but right now I really would’ve liked it if she was just a bit less picky. As it was, we were gonna be in a lot of trouble as soon as—

My line of thought was rudely interrupted by a massive pink explosion that rocked the entire city. When the blast wave got to the compound, it just passed right through everything and everypony there, unless you counted one random pony that reverted to a changeling when light hit it, then got sent flying. When the light hit me, I was bombarded with tons of random mental images. Derpy hugging her daughters and laughing. Blossom with a cute little grease smudge on one cheek. Fluttershy smiling at me, half-hidden behind her own mane. Rainbow hugging me and trying to pretend she wasn’t feeling all sappy and affectionate. In a word: love.

In the aftermath of the blast, I could distinctly see thousands of tiny changeling shapes flying over the horizon, including one that looked like a larger version of the Chrysalis avatar I’d just been talking to.

“Oh. Huh.” I stared blankly at the rapidly fading changeling army, trying to wrap my head around the fact that something had just thrown the whole lot of them out of the city. “Well I guess that takes care of that.”