Everypony in the house woke up to the sound of somepony pounding on the front door.
Since I was camped out on the living room couch, I got to the door first. Things at Aunt Wind’s were a little crowded, even after Lyra went back to her parents’ place for the night. I could’ve bunked with Storm, but I’ve got a couple habits that can kick in when I’m in bed with a beautiful pony. Derpy and Blossom unintentionally spooning might be hilarious and sexy, but me doing that with my little cousin would be a dozen different flavors of gross. I’m open to just about any kind of kink or taboo a pony can think of, but I draw the line at incest.
I opened up the front door, and found myself face-to-face with an extremely agitated Rainbow Dash. The instant she saw me she latched onto my shoulders and started shaking me like a rag doll. “Cloud! Sparkler left Derpy’s place last night, and she hasn’t come back yet! You got any idea where she might be?! What about your cousin, the one who’s good at finding stuff? Aw geeze, if she ran away or something happened to her or—”
I put a hoof over her mouth to cut her off, while hastily re-arranging my mane and ducking my head to hide my black eye. “Relax, Rainbow. Star found Sparkler last night and brought her back here. Spark just needed a little space after ... after what happened at Derpy’s.”
Rainbow let out a relieved breath and slumped against the doorframe. “Okay ... she’s okay. That’s a huge load off of my mind. Geeze, when Derpy told me she didn’t come home last night...”
That got a guilty little twinge out of me. In hindsight, I should’ve checked with Sparkler that Derpy knew where she was, or thought to send somepony over to Derpy’s place to let her know where Sparkler was. “Rainbow, can you go let Derpy know her daughter’s here and that she’s okay?”
Rainbow glowered and crossed her forelegs over her chest. “Yeah, guess I could do that, but I’d rather drag her back to her mom so Derpy and I can spank her until her butt looks like a pair of tomatoes! Do you have any idea how freaked out Derpy was when Sparkler didn’t come home? Or how much I ... y’know, got a little concerned?”
Oh Rainbow, even when you’re acting like a worried mother hen, you can’t quite bring yourself to admit that you were scared.
While I would normally sympathize with Rainbow’s feelings, and probably even agree with them to the point of joining in on the spanking, the circumstances here were anything but normal. I stepped up and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, Rainbow, there’s a reason Sparkler didn’t want to stay at Derpy’s place last night. I don’t really think dragging her back there’s a good idea.” Not to mention that if Sparkler had gotten so shaken up by Derpy hitting me, the last thing she needed from Rainbow was corporal punishment.
“What the feather happened with you and Derpy anyway?” Rainbow demanded. “I mean, I figured she’d be pretty pissed about you banging Blossom, but when Derpy found me she was a complete mess and Spark’s freaked out and run away from her, and...” Rainbow trailed off as her eyes narrowed, and then she put a hoof under my chin. There was no point in trying to hide it if she already suspected something was up, so I let her tip my head back, exposing the shiner Derpy’d left me with. “Cloud...” Rainbow’s voice came out as a shaky little whisper. “Please tell me you tripped and smacked your eye on a doorknob or something.”
“I wish I could, Dash.” I ducked my head back down. “Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”
“Not make a big—” Rainbow’s jaw dropped, then snapped shut as she gave an angry flick of her wings. “This ... you—urgh!” She slammed a hoof on the ground hard enough to get a sympathetic little wince out of me. “What the feather am I supposed to do now?! Not make a big deal. Celestia, you’re so stupid sometimes, Cloud! And so’s Derpy! You’re both stupid! Stop being stupid!”
Well, looks like I was right about Rainbow flying off the handle. My only hope was to give her something else to do before she started coming up with ideas on her own. “Dash!” I grabbed her by the shoulders, just like she’d grabbed me a little while ago. Sometimes you have to speak to Rainbow in her own language. “Focus. Right now, the most important thing is for you to go find Derpy and let her know that Sparkler’s okay. We can deal with the rest of this later.”
“Right.” Rainbow gave a shaky little nod. “Find Derpy, let her know Spark’s okay. I can do that.” Rainbow turned around and got halfway out the door before she stopped, then looked over her shoulder. “Don’t think I’m gonna forget about the eye thing though, Kicker.”
“Kinda figured you wouldn’t.” Sure, I’d been desperately hoping she would, but I’m not that lucky. Rainbow can get incredibly stubborn when it comes to anything involving her friends getting hurt. To be fair, it is something we’re all going to need to deal with. It might not be an abuse thing—everypony knows that I can defend myself just fine if it comes down to that—but it’s still not okay to hit a pony you love. Just another thing Derpy and I would need to talk about.
I shut the door behind Rainbow, and somepony in the hallway cleared her throat. I turned around, and saw Sparkler tentatively poking her head around the corner. “Um ... she gone?”
“Yeah, Rainbow went to go tell your mom you’re alright.” That got a bit of a twitch out of the teen. “Something wrong with that?”
Sparkler’s ears drooped, and she shuffled around. “S’just, what if she decides to come here? I’m not exactly ... I think I need a bit before I can deal with her again.”
“I kinda figured, what with you staying over for the night and everything.” I stepped over to her, and tried to offer an understanding smile. “I mean, if you wanna get really technical about things, you kinda ran away from home. It’s just not a big deal, since you landed with us instead of being out on your own.”
Thank Celestia that Star had tracked her down, though. If Sparkler had been running around Canterlot on her own last night, things might’ve gotten messy. The Princesses put a lot of work into keeping the capital nice and clean, but it’s still a bit hazardous for an attractive and vulnerable young mare to go wandering the streets in the wee hours of the morning. Especially if Sparkler was too freaked out over what had happened with her mother to be aware of her surroundings. Where would she have gone, anyway? Like she said last night, she doesn’t know any ponies in Canterlot other than her own family.
Well, as long as she was here and we seemed to have a bit of relative privacy for the moment... “Hey, last night you said you wanted to talk to me, right?”
Sparkler hesitated a bit before answering me. “Yeah, I guess I did.” She couldn’t quite bring herself to look me in the eye, and her next words came out as a nervous mumble. “Um ... maybe a little breakfast first? M’kinda hungry.”
“Right, food.” I suspected she was just stalling, probably because she was shaken up by Rainbow’s arrival, or maybe it was just ordinary procrastination when confronted with an uncomfortable topic. Either way, I didn’t mind giving her a bit of time to work up her courage.
I wasn’t in the mood to bother with properly cooking something, not to mention that between how long it would take and the smells of breakfast cooking everypony else would probably be up and around Well, assuming Rainbow’s visit hadn’t woken them up already. Sure, she’d made some noise, but between the clan compound and life in Guard barracks Kickers learn to sleep through a racket. Breakfast, on the other hoof...
In any case, I didn’t want the rest of the family swarming in just yet—a crowded house full of hungry ponies wouldn’t be the best setting for a private conversation. So, instead of cooking, I just warmed up some of the leftover casserole from last night.
Since discussing the whole Derpy situation seemed to be a non-starter for the moment, I went for the obvious icebreaker. “So, how many times did you and Star bang last night?” The fact that I timed my question for right when Sparkler had a mouthful of orange juice was pure coincidence. I swear.
Needless to say, Sparkler made a bit of a mess.
I grabbed a napkin and got to work on cleaning up the mess I was mostly responsible for creating, while Sparkler sputtered indignantly. She finally managed to string a coherent sentence together around the time I finished cleaning up. “We didn’t do anything!”
Of course they hadn’t, but where’s the fun in admitting that? “Nothing at all?” I frowned and gave her a little nudge with one of my wings. “What, is my cousin not good enough for you?”
Sparkler’s jaw dropped, and she hastily shook her head. “No, she’s great!” She blinked, then hastily clarified, “Great in a completely platonic we-are-not-about-to-have-sex kind of way.”
“Uh-huh, sure.” Teenagers are so much fun to tease. All that early relationship awkwardness, before they’ve hit the point where they’re comfortable admitting that they find ponies attractive. Still, I didn’t want to overdo it. Teens can be sensitive about that kind of thing.
In any case, objective achieved: the ice had been broken and I’d started a conversation. “So, Sparkler, why’d you run away from home and come here?”
Sparkler went quiet, scuffing a hoof over the kitchen table and poking at her reheated casserole for a bit before finally answering me. “Didn’t plan on coming here, specifically. I just ... I needed to get out for a bit, clear my head and stuff. Then I ran into Star, and I was kinda hungry and she said I could come back to her place for dinner, and...” she trailed off and gave a helpless little shrug. “Was kinda thinking I’d look for Rainbow or somepony to stay with after I ate.”
She hesitated for a bit, refusing to make eye contact with me. “Um, there’s some stuff you kinda need to know, if you wanna understand why I freaked out so much. Kinda goes back to what happened back when I was with Foal Services...”
Ouch. I’d never really gotten the full story about what happened with Sparkler before Derpy adopted her, but I knew enough to put together some of the pieces. Kinda hard to miss the fact that one of her forelegs was in a cast when Derpy brought her home, or that it had taken a couple months for her to stop calling her new mom ‘Miss Doo.’
Sparkler let out a little snort. “S’kinda weird, though. I mean, no offense, but you really wouldn’t understand what it’s like, growing up in the System. Hay, you’ve got more family than you can shake a hoof at.”
“Yeah, you’re right about that.” I waved a hoof around to encompass my aunt’s house. “Kinda got family all over the place. Hay, the biggest thing I needed to adjust to after I moved to Ponyville was not having a dozen relatives ready to pop out of the woodwork at the drop of a hat. Even when Mom and Dad had been stationed somewhere other than Canterlot while I was growing up, it’s pretty hard to go anywhere that had a significant number of guardponies without there being some Kickers in the mix too.”
That’s when an idea popped into my head. Maybe not the best idea I’ve ever had, but compared to my recent feather-ups I didn’t think it was too bad. “I might not know what it’s like to grow up in the adoption system ... but I know a pony who does. Mind if I bring her in?”
Sparkler hesitated for a bit. “Um, she’s not a pshrink like your aunt, is she?”
One of my ears twitched a bit. It bugs me a little when I hear ponies take a shot at what Aunt Wind does for a living. Sparkler probably didn’t mean anything by it, but ‘pshrink’ wasn’t exactly a complimentary term. “She’s not a psychologist, no.”
Sparkler’s ears went flat, and I felt a bit bad for rebuking her like that. “Right, sorry, I didn’t mean...” She gave a vague sort of gesture with her hoof, then shrugged and just shifted subjects to something a bit more comfortable. “But yeah, I guess we could bring somepony else in, s’long as you trust them.”
“Cool. Soon as you’re done eating, we’ll get going.” I grabbed my own empty plate and headed for the kitchen to drop it off in the sink.
Sparkler spared a glance for her half-eaten casserole, then slumped down against the table. “Think I’ve had enough. M’not really all that hungry right now.” She telekinetically picked up her own plate and followed me into the kitchen. “If we can get coffee wherever it is we’re going, we can head out now.”
“Sounds good.” After a quick clean-up, the two of us headed out the door and began our epic journey of about two blocks to another house in the compound.
“It’s another pony in your family?” Sparkler let out a little snort. “Sheesh, how many Kickers are there?”
I couldn’t help chuckling at that. “There’s a Kicker for everything, Sparkler.” I brought up a hoof and knocked on the door. “But this one’s not a Kicker. At least, not yet.”
A couple seconds after my knock, Blossom opened the front door, a cup of coffee in hoof. “Hmm?” She gave a slightly drowsy blink, then her eyes widened as her half-awake mind registered my presence. “Oh! Good morning Clou—” She abruptly cut herself off, either because she’d noticed my eye, or because she’d realized that Sparkler was there. After Rainbow’s visit I’d pretty much tossed the idea of keeping my little bruise a secret out the window—aside from the fact that Blossom had a right to know, there was the fact that Rainbow would probably have told her before too long.
Sparkler’s face went carefully blank, and there was a forced neutrality to her words when she spoke. “Miss Blossomforth.” Yeah, bringing Derpy’s daughter to talk to the pony I’d hurt her mom by sleeping with might not have been a great idea, but it was the best one I could come up with. Maybe that says something about my decision-making process.
Blossom hesitated, her mouth hanging halfway open as she tried to figure out just what in the hay she was supposed to say to Derpy’s daughter. Eventually, she settled on the basics. “Hello, Sparkler.” She gave an awkward shuffle of her wings and opened the door the rest of the way for us. “Um ... come on in, I guess.”
“Thanks.” Sparkler shot a sidelong glance at Blossom as she stepped inside, presumably trying to get a feel for the mare. As far as I knew, Blossom and Sparkler hadn’t really gotten to know each other yet—I wasn’t even sure if they’d properly met before now. Blossom starting off as the mare who was partially responsible for breaking Derpy’s heart wasn’t the best first impression.
I followed Sparkler in, slowing down a bit as I passed by Blossom to give a bit of an explanation. “The talk with Derpy didn't go so well.”
Blossom leaned in to take a closer look at my eye, and started scowling. “I can tell. Once this is settled, I think I’m going to have words with her.”
Sparkler froze, a conflicted grimace on her face. At a guess, she was feeling pretty torn between wanting to be upset with her mom and feeling that instinctive family loyalty that comes up whenever a pony criticizes your parents. Eventually, she settled on a hasty change of subject. “S'that other pony you wanted me to talk to around, Cloud, or do I have time to grab a cup of coffee?”
I gestured in the general direction of the kitchen. “Go ahead and get some, as long as Blossom doesn't mind, but she's who I wanted to bring in.”
Blossom looked back and forth between the two of us, obviously lost by the conversation. After a bit of thinking, she seized upon the one part of that exchange she’d definitely understood. “I've got plenty of coffee since Rainbow doesn’t drink it. Help yourself.”
Sparkler was silent for long enough to make things just a bit awkward, then very slowly nodded. “I'll be right back.” She half-turned to go the kitchen, then looked back to me. “You want any?”
I waved her off. “I'm fine without. Never been a huge fan of coffee.” Blame it on my time in West Hoof. Needing a caffeine fix to fully wake up doesn’t mesh with needing to wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at whatever hour the sergeant-instructors figured would be best for us to start our exercise. Trying to do a light five mile jog when your brain is still in a half-awake haze never really worked for me. Though the fact that this guest house came with a percolator showed that not everypony in my family thought that way.
Since she’d never gone through the joys of Guard training, Blossom took a sip of her coffee and settled down on the couch. “So can one of you two tell me what's going on? Something tells me you’re not just here so Sparkler can raid my coffeepot.”
Sparkler grabbed a mug and poured herself some coffee, then took a few sips before she sighed and turned around to face Blossomforth. “I went for a walk last night after Mom...” She waved her cup in my general direction. “Wound up running into Star, and bunking at her place for the night. Kinda figured Cloud and I needed to talk, and she wants you in on it for some reason.”
I jumped into the conversation to explain. “I figured that since some of the stuff Sparkler wants to talk about goes back to before Derpy adopted her, while she was still in the system...” Sparkler made a noise and shuffled her hooves at that, then hid her face behind her coffee mug. “It’s just that when we were gonna start talking about what’s been going on, Sparkler kinda pointed out that I don't have the first clue of what it's like to be an orphan. I’ve got more family than I know what to do with.”
Blossom gave a bit of a wince at the reminder of her own family situation. “Oh. So I'm here to ...what? I mean, I guess having another orphan in the conversation would help give you some perspective, but it’s not like Sparkler and I have some magical orphan connection that’ll help us bond.”
Well, that made me feel like a bit of an idiot. It did get a little snort of laughter out of Sparkler, at least. I gave them the best explanation I could offer. “Well, when Sparkler said I needed a pony who could understand what she went through, you were the first one who came to mind.”
Sparkler was giving a Blossom a curious sort of look, probably adjusting her mental picture of the mare to account for the new information. If nothing else, she was hopefully starting to see Blossom as a pony, rather than an evil witch who helped break her mother’s heart. After a while, she carefully said, “When you said we were gonna talk to a pony, I didn't quite think you'd meant the one you'd...”
Blossom let out a slightly bitter snort. “Sparkler, if we had to cross all the ponies Cloud’s been with off of the list, you would be stuck talking to her close family and nopony else.”
“That’s hardly fair,” I grumbled. “I’ve never banged Rainbow Dash. Or Princess Celestia, though depending on which old family legends you like to believe she might qualify as family too.” Sparkler snorted and rolled her eyes at that—I guess she’s not a believer in that one. In fairness, I’m not sure I buy it myself. The whole idea that Celestia fits somewhere in my family tree seems a bit too much like wishful thinking. I’d like it to be true, though. Because really, how cool would that be?
Blossom wasn’t all that interest in talking over old family history, though. “Soooo,” she drew the word out, then took a sip of coffee before moving on to the main event. “What did you wanna talk about, Sparkler?”
Sparkler went quiet for a long time, taking several sips of her own drink as an excuse for her silence, then let out a resigned sigh. “I kinda just bolted after Mom hit Cloud. I didn't quite panic and run away but...” She trailed off uncomfortably, then shook her head and forced herself to continue. “Well, I kinda made sure Uncle Cirrus wouldn't leave Dinky alone with Mom until I got back. Then I ran away.” She fell silent for a bit, then shook her head and clarified. “Well, I didn't exactly run away, I just needed to get out of that place. You know, clear my head and get away from her and all that. S’not a big deal or anything.”
Blossom struggled with what to say next for a while, shuffling on her hooves. “I don't really know Derpy all that well, but she's never seemed like a violent pony.” Even as she said that, she couldn’t help glancing at me. Or more specifically, my eye.
I chimed in with my own defense of Derpy. “She made a mistake, but only after I did some really stupid things that hurt her. I can’t really blame her for reacting the way she did. Hay, it wouldn’t have been hard for me to block or dodge, if I’d wanted to. I kinda had it coming, though.”
Sparkler grimaced, and there was an odd, haunted tone to her voice. “I know how it goes. She made a mistake, and she's sorry for it, and she had an excuse and it'll never happen again.” Her voice came out as a quiet, cynical little whisper. “Yeah, right.”
“Sparkler?” I took a step towards her, and took the conversation to a place that I knew had to be dangerous territory. “What happened to you before Derpy adopted you? I mean, I know when Derpy brought you to Ponyville you were—well, you had a cast on...”
Sparkler let out a tiny little whimper and wrapped her forelegs around herself. Oh geeze, it was just as bad as I had been afraid it was. After a little hesitation, I moved up and hugged her. She jumped a bit at the contact, but after a couple seconds she slowly relaxed, and then leaned into it. Blossom hesitated for a bit, then joined in, hugging Spark from the opposite side.
The two of us gently guided Sparkler over to the couch and then just sat there, holding her until whatever bad memories she was currently reliving passed. I also made a mental note to find out just who had put her foreleg in that cast and make sure he suffered for it.
Once Sparkler was looking a bit less shaky, Blossom made an effort to engage her. “Um, look, Sparkler ... I know what it's like, growing up in the system. So, if you need somepony to talk to about what happened...”
Sparkler blinked a couple times, then turned to face Blossom. “Did you grow up groundside, or cloudside? Kinda a big difference.”
“Cloudsdale Orphanage,” Blossom answered her.
Sparkler let out a bitter little laugh. “Lucky you.”
“Didn’t feel all that lucky,” Blossom murmured. She blinked and flicked an ear, then softly continued, “We heard stories what things were like groundside, though. Some of the older kids used to tease us about how if we acted up we'd get sent to one of the ground orphanages. Other ponies said the ground was way better.”
Sparkler’s voice turned wistful. “It was kinduva mixed bag. Groundside’s big on foster families. You get a good one, it’s great, but there are bad ones out there too. From what I’ve heard, cloudside runs things differently.”
“Yeah.” Blossom nodded. “Cloudsdale goes for more of the big systematic orphanages. Weeds out all the bad apples, but to most of the caretakers you’re just Orphan Eighty-Three. They were always very nice. Very ... professional.” As she spoke, there was an odd little catch in her voice that made me want to wrap a wing around her and hold her close. So I did.
Sparkler nodded to Blossom. “I got lucky the first time. I don't remember a lot about my first caretaker, I can’t even really remember her name. She was this old mare, real sweet—Gramma reminds me of her, a bit. Well, Gramma’s a little more stuck up, but then again, I was just a little filly when I was with my first caretaker. I’m probably all nostalgic about her and stuff.” Sparkler sighed, and she seemed to shrink down into herself. “She was old, though. After she had a stroke, she couldn’t take care of kids anymore, so they moved me to a new home. My foster dad at the new place ... he was a real piece of work.”
“Was he the one who...” I waved a hoof at her foreleg. Now that I was looking at it and thinking about the injury, I could make out a faint scar on the leg.
Sparkler shivered and pulled her foreleg up against her chest. “He kinda took 'spare the rod' to new heights. I don't think he meant to hurt me as bad he did, though. Not ‘cause he actually gave a flying feather, s’just that you can’t cover up a broken leg. That’s what got me outta there and his worthless plot in jail.” She paused, and shot a look at my eye. “Bruises are pretty easy to hide, though. Especially if you put ‘em in the right places, I found out.”
Well, at least the guy was in prison. He’d better hope he never gets out, or I’ll be waiting for him. Granted, Derpy would probably beat me to the punch on that one.
Ouch. Derpy, punch. Not two words I liked hearing that close to each other just yet.
I focused on just giving Sparkler a reassuring hug while my brain got off that particular train of thought. Unfortunately, it just jumped the tracks to something far worse than the idea of Sparkler taking a beating. “Your foster father, um, he didn't...” I hesitated, trying to figure out the least sickening way to ask the question. “He only hit you, right? Nothing else?”
Blossom let out a horrified little gasp, then tightened her hold on Sparkler.
Sparkler sighed and shook her head. “He was pretty equal-opportunity about taking a swing at whoever was close at hoof once he got drunk. I learned to go hide the smaller kids once I picked up on the warning signs that he was getting into a mood.”
Oh dammit, she was dodging the question. Guess I couldn’t blame her—asking the question was pretty hard to do, answering it couldn’t be very easy for her either. “Sparkler, you know that wasn’t what I was asking about.”
She looked down, uncomfortably fidgeting between Blossom and me. “Nothing worse than him getting punchy. That other kindsa stuff wasn’t his deal. S’more what lonely, single ponies took older kids home for, if you listened to some of the jerks.”
‘Lonely, single ponies?’ Oh, that sounded ominous. Blossom connected the dots just a split-second faster than I did. “Oh, you must've been terrified when Derpy adopted you.”
Sparkler sighed and very slowly nodded. “Well, the first time I came home, Rainbow was watching Dinks, and I thought the two of them were married. I mean—hay, the way Rainbow hangs around Dinky sometimes, you'd think she was the one that gave birth.” Sparkler managed a small grin at that.
I had to agree with her there; Rainbow has always doted on Dinky. Not that I could blame her, with how utterly adorable the filly can get. Hay, Dinky’s first word was ‘Boe.’ As in Rainbow. There’s a reason Rainbow got to be Dinky’s godmother. Hay, if not for the utter lack of romantic chemistry between them, Derpy and Rainbow probably would’ve hooked up at some point. Shadow knows Rainbow would be better at helping Derpy raise her kids and providing a good home environment than I could ever hope to manage.
Sparkler cleared her throat and shuffled a bit. “Anyway, we settled in, had dinner and I started relaxing a little bit. I figured I’d lucked out, and gotten adopted by a nice storybook couple. Then I find out they’re not married, Rainbow left for the night, and all those rumors about the single ponies stopped sounding so petty.”
I flinched at that. I know Derpy would never do anything like that, but that’s because I’ve known Derpy for years. A freshly-adopted filly, on the other hoof...
Sparkler shifted around a bit, lightly shrugging off the double-hug Blossom and I had been giving her. “So yeah, I was a little freaked out at first. Wasn’t so bad though: I got time with Dinks and Mom gave me plenty of space to adjust, and—” Sparkler gave a little hiccough, and turned her face away from me for a bit until she was more composed. “A-after I peed myself the first time she came to tuck me in, I kinda figured out that she wasn't like him.”
Blossom gave a sympathetic wince. “But then she hit Cloud, and now all those nasty memories are coming back up again.”
Sparkler bit her lower lip and nodded.
“It's not the same, Sparkler!” I paused, and took a couple deep breaths to calm down. Yelling would not help my cause. “What happened with Derpy and me isn’t even remotely similar to what happened with your foster father.”
“Yeah?” Sparkler gave an angry snort. “How's it not similar? She feathering loves you, Cloud! She's known you longer than she's known me, and that didn’t stop her.”
My wings gave an agitated little twitch. “There’s a big difference between a pony who beats little foals up for kicks, and one who lashes out at a pony who's hurt her pretty bad. C’mon, Sparkler, you know that Derpy’s not like that!”
Sparkler broke out the deadliest weapon in a teenager’s arsenal: smartflanked sarcasm. “Yeah, Mom would never hit a pony she loves, would she? Where’d you get that black eye again?” She gave a cynical little scoff. “Sure, you say she had a good excuse. Ponies can make whatever excuses they want for hitting somepony close to 'em, but it's just a matter of time before the excuses stop, or stop being anything more than a load of horseapples. If you asked my foster dad, he’d tell you I had my little flight down the stairs coming too.”
“I still say you’re comparing apples and oranges,” Blossom grumbled. She shot a troubled look my way, and then continued, “Besides ... well, not sure how to say this other than to just come out and say it, but Cloud knows how to defend herself. She killed that whatever monster got her mom, right? I’m pretty sure Derpy’s not that big of a threat.”
Sparkler just rolled her eyes and deployed more teenage sarcasm. “Oh, well that makes everything fine, then. She can lash out at the ponies she loves as much as she wants to, so long as they can defend themselves?”
Blossom’s ears went flat on her head. “That wasn't what I meant.”
“Funny, it's what you said,” Sparkler shot right back.
Okay, this wasn’t going to get us anywhere. Sparkler had kinda hit that stubborn position where she wasn’t going to change her mind no matter how many facts we brought up. Deep down she was scared out of her wits, and you can’t really logically argue away fear. So, it was time to try a new angle. “Look, Sparkler, you have to admit that the only reason any of this happened is because I really screwed up with Derpy.”
That got me a teenagerly snort. “Technically I think you screwed up with somepony else.” She gave Blossom a loaded look, which made Blossom flinch and shrink down a bit. “Buuut... yeah, you’re right about that.” One of her hooves brushed along my cheek, right underneath the shiner Derpy had left behind. “If it hadn't been for this, I'd be back with Mom helping her explain to Dinks why you couldn't come over anymore.”
Okay, that really stung. The idea of never getting to see Dinky again really got to me. “I’m kinda hoping it doesn't come to that.”
For a moment, genuine anger flashed in Sparkler’s eyes. “You hurt her, Cloud.” Sparkler took a moment to calm down before she continued. “I don’t exactly like your chances of patching things back up with Mom. Hay, just staying friends with her is gonna take some work. I'm amazed she didn't flip out after the mess with Miss Fluttershy, let alone what happened after it.”
Blossom let out a worried murmur. “What mess with Fluttershy?”
I facehoofed, then regretted it a moment later when my eye gave a painful twinge at the contact. I should’ve told Blossom about the whole Fluttershy thing beforehoof, but just like with Derpy it had slipped my mind. In my defense, I hadn’t really had a good chance to let Blossom know since being reminded of it by Derpy. Still could’ve found a better way to let her know than having Sparkler mention it mid-conversation.
Sparkler gave a flinch when she realized what she’d just done, then shot a faintly annoyed look my way, no doubt blaming me for not telling Blossom sooner. “Yeah, way to set that bar, too. ‘Don't make me mad, or I'll go sleep with somepony else.’”
That got me bristling. “That's not exactly the way I meant it, Sparkler.”
“Nah, but that's the way it happened.”
“It’s really not.” I tried to sound more firm than angry—I’m not sure how good of a job I did. “I slept with Fluttershy because I love her, not as some kind of twisted method of punishing Derpy for getting into an argument. If I wanted to punish Derpy, I’d be having her sleep on the couch or something.” I paused as the obvious problems with that particular example came to mind, given that we tended to sleep at her house. “Well okay, I can’t actually do that, but you get the idea. I’d express my displeasure in ways other than having sex with another pony. Using sex to punish ponies is just wrong.” I thought for a moment, then revised my previous statement. “Well, unless it’s a bondage thing, but that’s different.”
I took a bit to think about how to raise my next point. “Look, Sparkler, the bottom line is that I can't really do the whole monogamy thing. I’m just not built that way, and if Derpy’s gonna get upset every time I sleep with another pony...”
“So what, then?” Sparkler demanded, stubbornly crossing her forelegs over her chest. “You gonna do the whole playmare thing forever, and if she’s not okay with just being another line in your little black book, then too bad?”
“No, that’s not it all. I wanna...” I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. “I like being with Derpy, and I like having you and Dinky around too. I never really thought much about settling down, but after having a chance to see what the whole family life would be like ... I kinda like the idea of getting a bit more stability.” That got a surprised little grunt out of Sparkler, while Blossom was giving me a neutral, unreadable look. “I might not want to be a total playmare anymore, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love a lot of ponies. I don’t wanna settle down if it means shutting out all the other ponies in my life. I love Derpy. I also love Blossomforth. And Fluttershy, and Lyra, and Raindrops, and...” I trailed off and gave a little shrug. “Well, you get the idea. I love a lot of ponies, and I can’t just switch that off.”
Sparkler gave me a flat look and deadpanned, “You're gonna bankrupt your clan with that dowry.” That got a giggle out of Blossom. It probably was a good thing the Kickers were still too Old Pegasopolan to go for dowries. The lighthearted mood didn’t last long before Sparkler got back to business, though. “Mom has a bit of a different expectation, you know?”
“Yeah.” I let out a resigned sigh. “Derpy wants me to be exclusive to her. I know she said she's okay with me still running around, and maybe she was at first, when we were just friends with benefits. But now ... now she's not.”
“No, really?” The teen let out a snort. “There's kinduva big difference between running around and going to ponies she knows you love, like she wants you to love her.” Sparkler grumbled a bit, and poked at the couch with one of her hooves. “If I had to guess, she's scared of you leaving her. She’s wanted to have somepony else in her life for so long. Hay, in a way I think I wasn’t exactly wrong about Mom and Rainbow. Not that they have a thing for each other, but I think Mom was kinda leaning on Rainbow to fill the gap.” Sparkler shifted around on the sofa and stared down at the floor for a bit. “S’probably not a coincidence that she hooked up with you pretty soon after she couldn’t lean on Dash anymore to make up for being alone.”
Ouch. Now that Sparkler brought it up, the timing on it was kinda hard to miss. I know Rainbow wouldn’t start neglecting Derpy’s kids just because she’d hooked up with Pinkie Pie, but Derpy might still be nervous about it on a subconscious level. Besides, even if she wasn’t, I knew enough about ponies to know that any single mom getting into a long-term relationship has a very different set of concerns. She might love me, but providing a good home for her daughters was always going to be Derpy’s top priority.
Nothing would kill my relationship with Derpy faster than me doing anything that made her think I was hurting her girls, even indirectly. The biggest point of worry for me when it came to fixing things up with Derpy wasn’t the fact that I’d hurt her, but the fact that Dinky and Sparkler had gotten caught in the crossfire. Derpy could forgive me for hurting her. I don’t think she could forgive me for hurting her kids.
Sparkler sighed and rubbed a hoof over her forehead. “So yeah, you turned up right when she’s feeling a bit worried, then you helped out with me and Dinks, just like Rainbow did, and on top of that you actually love Mom. She’s been alone for so long, and then somepony comes along and gives her what she’s always wanted.” Sparkler chewed at her lower lip for a bit. “Yeah, I think I can appreciate how bad she'd wanna hold onto that.”
Blossom whispered under her breath. “I know exactly how she feels.”
Okay, now I was starting to feel like a mule.
Sparkler was staring at Blossom, her head cocked slightly to the side. After a few seconds, she very slowly nodded. “Yeah, I guess you would, wouldn’t you?”
“I do love her, you know.” I reached over and rubbed one of Blossom’s hooves. “You too, Blossom. It's not like loving one of you means the other means less to me.” I turned to Sparkler. “S’like with you and Dinky, to Derpy. She loves both of you. No ifs, ands, or buts. She didn’t start loving Dinky less just ‘cause she adopted you.”
Sparkler mulled that over for a bit, then slowly nodded. “Guess that makes sense. That’s probably something you should've laid out for her a long time ago, though. Mom’s not the kinda pony who gets stuff like that right off the bat, and you don’t exactly do the whole ‘safety and stability’ thing very well. S’pretty easy to assume that you’re not in this for keeps, especially when you wanna keep running around on her.”
I groaned and flopped back against the couch. “I thought I had laid it all out for her, that she knew how I worked. I mean, Derpy knew me for years before we hooked up. I figured she knew I wasn't going to be exclusive, and that me loving her didn’t require it. Hay, every time we discussed it, she said she didn’t expect me to be exclusive.”
Blossom sighed and shuffled around on the couch. “She knew you as a friend, but she’d never been in a relationship with you before, Cloud. Trust me when I say those are two very different things. And even then, just because she knows you probably can’t be exclusive doesn't change the fact that deep down, she would want you to be.”
Sparkler gave a sharp nod. “The fact that she hooked up with you at all meant that she wanted some kind of exclusivity, Cloud. Maybe not totally, but definitely a little more than just another consolation prize for you after Miss Fluttershy.”
That got a flinch out of me, though for all that it hurt, it also made me a little mad. I don’t know if Sparkler knew the whole story on Flight Camp or not, but either way, using Fluttershy on me like that was not okay. Blossom must’ve picked up on how much that particular barb had gotten to me, because she put a hoof on my shoulder, then turned and frowned at Sparker. “That wasn’t very fair, Sparkler.”
“Doesn't make it any less true,” the teen countered, stubbornly crossing her forelegs over her chest. “Do you honestly think she would've come for either of you if Miss Fluttershy'd said yes?”
Blossom frowned at that. “If Fluttershy said yes to what?”
This time, I managed to explain myself before it was entirely too late. “I kinda proposed to Eepy after we banged. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, but...” I trailed off as Blossom flinched and turned away from me. Yeah, that hadn’t exactly gone over well.
While Blossom refused to look at me, Sparkler met my eyes with a steady stare. “If you want any kind of stability, you should probably stop pushing away the ponies that want to give it to you. Can’t blame Mom for being scared when it looks like all it’d take is one word from Miss Fluttershy, and you’d run off and leave her for good.”
Blossom took a deep breath, then shook her head. “No, Cloud wouldn’t do that.” At first her voice was barely above a whisper, but as she continued her voice slowly grew louder and more confident. “Cloud's ... it's like she said, she loves a lot of ponies. She loved Fluttershy first, but she loves me and Derpy as well. She wouldn't leave us out in the cold.”
“Maybe not intentionally.” Sparkler directed a frown at me. “But that’s kinda your problem, Cloud. Just because you don’t mean to hurt other ponies doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
Blossom shook her head again. “She makes mistakes, but she wouldn't abandon a pony she loves. Cloud's just not built that way.” Blossom smiled at me, though it was tinged with pain. “If Cloud could just fall out of love with a pony, our lives would be a lot less complicated. Think about it—she held onto her love for Fluttershy for how long?”
Sparkler frowned and had her mouth halfway open to argue, but nothing come out. After a few seconds, she shut it, and just shifted around on the couch.
I moved a bit closer to my fillyfriend, possibly the only one I had anymore. “Blossom, I...” I hesitated, wondering just what I was going to say next.
Blossom put a hoof over my mouth before I could figure it out. “Cloud, you know you would've come back for us. If you didn’t give up on Fluttershy after everything that happened between you two and all the years since you were together, there’s no way you’d give up on me or Derpy just because you’re getting a little frustrated with us.” She sighed and shifted her hoof to stroke my cheek instead. “Maybe if things between you and Fluttershy had never gone wrong at Flight Camp, you would’ve ended up with just her and nopony else, but you’ve changed since then. Deep down, you have to know you couldn't have turned back the clock with Fluttershy.”
I blinked a couple times as Blossom’s words sank in. I’d known getting back together with Fluttershy like nothing had ever happened just wasn’t in the cards, but I’d missed out on a big part of why it wouldn’t work. Or rather, Blossom had articulated all the stuff I couldn’t really put into words. It’s weird, that Blossom could figure out something like that about me.
“That sounds real nice, Miss Blossomforth.” Sparkler rolled her eyes and gave a vague sort of wave of her hoof. “Guess we’ll never really know though, will we?”
“Maybe not,” Blossom conceded, “but thinking about that made me realize something.” She paused, took a deep breath, and then dropped a bombshell on us. “If Fluttershy can’t make her stop loving other ponies, I probably can’t either. I’m not sure I like that, but loving lots of ponies is a part of who Cloud is. So as long she’s...” Blossom sighed and gave a little shake of her head. “I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I get that Cloud loving me doesn’t mean she has to stop caring about other ponies. So we can work something out, when it comes that.” She gave a slight shrug. “If nothing else, I’m pretty good at adapting.”
I blinked a couple times as Blossom’s words processed. I made a few halting attempts at some kind of verbal response, but no words seemed adequate. Finally, I just pulled her in for a hug and the best damn kiss I could give her. That seemed to get the message across well enough.
Sparkler shot a vaguely annoyed look at the two of us and let out a little snort. “Yeah yeah, free love conquers all. Woohoo. Once you two are done sucking face, d’you think we could maybe get back to the stuff that actually matters?” Blossom and I reluctantly broke apart, though I kept a wing wrapped around her, and my side pressed up against hers. “The big question is, what're you gonna do about the problems between you and Mom? You know, the other pony you say you love.”
I thought that over for a second, then gave a resigned, helpless little laugh. “Blossom's right. I can't give up on Derpy.”
Sparkler’s ears perked up, and for the first time in a while, she actually seemed to be looking a bit more like her usual cheerful and smartflanked self, instead of the cynical fatalist we’d been dealing with up to this point. “You're going back to Mom?”
I nodded. “I have to at least try to sort things out with her. If I just left things where they stand right now, I’d never be able to forgive myself. It’d just keep eating at me until it drove me completely nuts.”
“I dunno...” Sparkler’s brief little burst of optimism seemed to be fading, and her nihilistic side was showing itself again. “Things sounded pretty final when I bolted.”
Blossom frowned, and her eyes drifted over the shiner Derpy’d left behind at the end of that discussion. “I'd have to agree; trying to talk to Derpy again, let alone get back together with her, is not a good idea.” She thought for a moment, then let out a soft little groan. “But you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you Cloud?”
I thought it over for a moment, then nodded. I knew it would probably end with Derpy shooting me down, but I couldn’t give up on a pony I loved.
A determined gleam entered Blossom’s eyes. “You’re not gonna talk to Derpy alone this time, Cloud. I'm coming too.”
Me, Derpy and Blossom, alone in a confined space? Yeah, that had all kinds of potential to go horribly wrong. “Blossom, I really don't think that’s—”
“I'm going to be there,” she cut me off, her steely tone making it clear this wasn’t up for negotiation. “Like it or not, I’m up to my withers in your relationship problems with Derpy. Trying to help you sort them out is the least I can do. Not to mention that the three of us are long overdue for a serious talk about what we’re going to do about this whole mess.” She thought for a moment, then reached out and stroked my hoof. “Besides, I want to be there for the pony I love, in a time when she needs to have somepony there to support her.”
I leaned over and gave Blossom a quick peck on the lips. It was the best way I could think of to thank her for backing me up.
Sparkler frowned at both of us, but there was still a hopeful little perk to her ears. I guess that fit the mood—she knew this probably wouldn’t end well, but she couldn’t stop herself from holding out hope that we just might pull it off. That little bit of cautious optimism didn’t blind her to the practical problems, though. “I'm taking Dinky outta there, then. No way I’m gonna risk her getting caught up in another nasty fight between you guys. It was bad enough having to explain that the sound she just heard was Mom smacking her fillyfriend. That’s not happening again. Ever.”
I didn’t like the idea that things might go that badly, but it made sense to take precautions. Just in case. “That might be a good idea. Derpy'll probably be calmer—hay, if I know her she probably feels pretty horrible about how it all happened—but the discussion is probably gonna get a bit heated.”
Sparkler’s ears went flat against her head, and there was an angry growl in her voice. “She'd better keep a lid on it. If she...” Sparkler trailed off, but the way her eyes drifted over to my bruise said everything that needed to be said. “I dunno what I'll do, but there’s no way I’m sticking around if anything like this happens again. And if I have anything to say about it, Dinky's not going back to that either.” She cut off any objections with a wave of her hoof. “Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, but I don’t care. S’far as I’m concerned, there’s just no excuse for it.”
“It’s not going to happen again, Sparkler.” I tried to keep my voice as confident-sounding as possible as I continued. “I promise you that. What Derpy did was a complete anomaly, caused by a whole bunch of crazy stuff that’s never gonna happen again. You got that?”
Sparkler was quiet for a long time, refusing to look at me or acknowledge anything I’d said. When she finally spoke again, she wound up dodging the issue completely. “I think Dinks and I need a place to hole up for the night whenever you talk to Mom. Plus I’d kinda like to keep hanging out here for however long it’s gonna take before you figure Mom’s chilled out enough. So, you know, it could be a while.” She slumped back against the couch and let out a weary grumble. “D'your aunt and uncle have room for a few freeloaders for a little longer?”
“That’s really something you’d need to ask them about,” I pointed out. “But I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t mind. Especially since the place won’t be as crowded once Storm goes back to the Long Patrol and Star’s back at West Hoof.” Aunt Wind and Uncle Typhoon were usually pretty hospitable, especially when it was for stuff like this where a pony really needed a place to lay low for a bit. Not to mention that having a bit of private time with Aunt Wind would be good for her; Sparkler clearly had a few issues left over from what happened with her foster father.
Still, I was a bit worried about how Derpy would react to Sparkler hanging out with my family for however long she needed. Thankfully, there were other options. “I bet Rainbow would love to have you two stay with her for a bit.” Sure, there might be some complications once we got back to Ponyville on account of Rainbow having a cloud house, but there were ways to deal with that. “Fluttershy would be fine with having you guys over too, though Dinky might get hugged to death if she does something too adorable.”
Sparkler gave an apathetic shrug. “Either of those works, I guess. Dinks’d probably love hanging out with Rainbow, but staying with Miss Fluttershy might be a bit weird after what happened.” She paused for a moment, then added, “I’ll probably stick with Rainbow too, if Star’s heading back to West Hoof pretty soon. It’d be weird staying there without her around, especially with all those creepy statues all over the place.”
I knew this was still a pretty serious conversation, but I couldn’t resist an opening like the one Sparkler had just given me. I’m only equine. “So, you’re saying that whether you stay with my aunt or Rainbow hinges on the question of whether or not Star’s around? Guess that pretty much confirms things.”
Sparkler gaped at me for a moment, caught off guard by the sudden change of subject. “I—it’s not like that! Sheesh, you make it sound like we went on a romantic moonlit walk, she brought me home and introduced me to her parents, and then we went to bed together.” She took a moment to think about what she’d just said, blinking several times as the color rose in her cheeks. “Which is not at all like what really happened, because ... because ... because shut up! It’s not the same!”
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Sparky.” I would’ve teased her more, but honestly, Sparkler had set herself up so perfectly that there wasn’t anything for me to add to it. I wonder if this was some cunning new strategy on her part? She would preemptively tease herself, so that I couldn't.
Blossom glanced at the slightly flustered teen for a bit, then giggled. “Wait, so you have a crush on Cloud’s cousin?”
“No.” Sparkler crossed her forelegs over her chest in a pout.
A downright mischievous grin appeared on Blossom’s face. “So you're saying she's not attractive?”
“No!” Sparkler hastily blurted out. “She's pretty!” A moment later she realized what she’d just said, and tried to salvage things. “Cool. Pretty cool.”
Blossom snorted at Sparkler’s very obvious and completely failed attempt to cover for her slip-up. Naturally, I jumped on the opportunity. “So, what did you and the pretty mare you were in bed with get up to last night?”
“Absolutely nothing but sleeping,” she insisted. “And I didn’t even get as much sleep as I would’ve liked.” Before I could jump on that comment, Sparkler clarified. “Star has this creepy little statue on her nightstand. I swear it kept watching me all night long, with its evil, beady little eyes...”
It took me a second to figure out what the hay she was talking about. “What, you mean the little Shadow icon? Well, that’s what you get for lusting after the daughter of a Shadovar.” Star and Storm weren’t fanatics about the Cult of Shadow or anything, but they were definitely believers. Hay, I had one of those devotional icons tucked away somewhere in my house. Not anywhere close to my bed, though—having it in a position to see some of the things I’d gotten up to would’ve been awkward.
Bah, enough of that, there was Spark-teasing to be done. “So, you were scared of a tiny little icon, were you? Well, good thing you had big, brave Star there to protect you. Cuddle up with you and make you feel all safe. Give you some comforting little kisses...”
“Nothing like that happened!” Despite the continued denials, Sparkler’s body language betrayed her. I know a fair bit about the ways a pony’s body reacts to arousal, and the way Sparkler’s tail flicked was a classic sign.
Naturally, I had to point it out. Quite literally, as I leveled an accusing hoof at the limb in question. “Tail flick! Or should I say tail toss? Really, Sparkler, you might as well just track her down, tackle her, and start screaming for her to take you now.”
Blossom joined in on the fun, wearing a muffin-eating grin. “Somepony's got a cruuuush!”
Sparkler’s cheeks were positively flaming. “I do not!”
“So you don't want to kiss her?” I gave her a little nudge in the side with one of my wings.
“No!” Sparkler’s blush intensified. “You ... you ... argh!” She let out several frustrated groans that were oddly reminiscent of a certain librarian. Guess she must’ve picked that up from Twilight, thanks to those magic lessons she’d been getting.
Blossom went for the kill. “So you’re saying you don't want her hooves running down your back? You don’t want to gently massage her little magnifying-glass flanks? And you definitely don’t want to have her nibble on your neck as she guides you into bed...”
By the end of that little barrage of teasing Sparkler’s jaw was hanging halfway open, and there was a blank and very distracted look her face. Needless to say, there was some heavy-duty tail twitching as well. I swear, if Star were in hoof’s range, Sparkler might have just jumped her right then and there.
I have to admit, I was impressed by Blossom’s results. I leaned over and whispered to her, “Nice work, I think you broke her brain completely. How did you get so good at teasing?”
Blossom grinned and bumped rumps with me. “I learned from the best.” She let out a devilish little giggle. “No wonder you like doing this so much. It’s fun!”
“Sure is.” Admittedly, you need to take one or two precautions to make sure that you don’t go overboard on the teasing, but that’s the kind of thing you have to work out as you go. Give it a bit of time, and you’ll discover where the lines are between a little harmless fun and going too far. Hopefully without anypony’s feelings getting hurt in the process.
I turned my attention back to our current victim, who seemed to slowly be regaining her wits. I decided to back off a little bit, but still have some fun with her. “Oh, you've got it bad, Sparky. What would Ratchet think? Remember him? Mister ‘flanks of an alicorn.’ Or did Star’s sexiness knock him completely out of your head?”
Sparkler’s blushing awkwardness disappeared in a heartbeat, and instead her ears went back flat against her head while she gave a pained little grimace. “He ... we kinda broke things off. Good terms and everything, s’just that his family moved out of Ponyville, and took him with ‘em. Really sucks—we didn’t even get to do much other than go on a couple dates to try and figure out what our deal was. Right when we’re finally sure we wanna hook up for serious, he has to go. We never got to do any of the...” She trailed off and waved a hoof in my direction. “Y’know, your kinda thing.”
“Oh.” Remember what I said about how sometimes teasing can go just a touch too far? Yeah, this was an example. “Sorry about that, Sparkler.”
“S’alright, you didn’t know.” Sparkler started pacing around the room a bit, stretching out her legs. “How couldja? I didn’t say anything. Haven’t even told Mom about it yet.” She paused in her pacing, and ducked her head a bit. “Not ‘cause I don’t want Mom to know or anything, s’just that she’s already got a lotta stuff going on. No reason to dump my problems on her too.”
“Hey.” I trotted up to her and gave her a quick wing-hug. “I’m sorry about that, okay?”
“S’fine.” Despite her best efforts to sound neutral and unbothered, she was clearly still a bit down about the whole thing.
Things went awkwardly silent after that. Not much any of us could say, really. I felt a bit bad about the way I’d teased Sparkler, now that I knew she was coming off a recent breakup. On the other hoof, maybe a little teasing was just what she needed. When you’re a teen, a breakup kinda seems like the end of the world. A little teasing nudge or two might help her realize that life goes on.
Plus, it was looking like she had the hots for my cousin. I’ll admit the idea of setting her up with Star did kind of appeal to me. Well, if I worked things out with Derpy it could lead to some family tree awkwardness, but I could live with that—it’s not like we’d be getting into squicky territory. At the very least, I'd get to subject Star to endless teasing over it, which is always a plus.
The painful silence came to an abrupt end when Rainbow Dash just walked in through the front door like she owned the place. Well, it was the guest house she and Blossom were sharing. “Hey, Blossomforth, Cloud’s not at her aunt’s place, you got any idea where she...” Rainbow trailed off as her brain finally got around to telling her mouth that Sparkler and I were standing right in front of her. “Oh. Huh. Well, there you are.”
Sparkler’s ears perked up a bit at the welcome distraction, but a second later she remembered why Rainbow had dropped by earlier. “Oh. Um ... hey, Rainbow.”
Rainbow immediately trotted over and hugged her. Sparkler stiffened at first, but eventually she relaxed and accepted the hug. After a couple seconds Rainbow put a hoof on Sparkler’s chest, and gently pushed her back at foreleg’s length and glowered at her. “Do you have any idea how much you scared me—er—how much you scared your Mom? I oughta...” Rainbow trailed off, struggling to think of just what she would do to the teen. Thankfully, she had enough presence of mind to not mention any kind of corporal punishment. “Well, I dunno what I oughta do to you, but you wouldn’t like it! Got that?”
Sparkler stared at her and blinked a couple times. “Yeah, sure. That was completely clear.”
“Good.” Rainbow gave a satisfied nod, either missing or choosing to completely ignore the teenage sarcasm. “Anyway, kid, I’ve got somepony who wants to talk to you.”
Sparkler tensed up. “Oh yeah?” There was a forced casualness to her voice.
“Yeah.” Rainbow gave her a hopeful little smile. “You cool with that?”
Sparkler shuffled her hooves and refused to meet Rainbow’s eyes for several seconds, then took a deep breath and turned to face her. “No, actually. I’m not.”
“Yeah?” Rainbow rubbed a hoof on her chin for a moment, then shrugged. “Well too bad. I’m gonna use some of that godparental authority on ya.” Rainbow took a couple steps back, then stuck her head out the door. “Sparkler’s in here.”
In the blink of an eye, a small purple-and-gold blur shot through the door and attached itself to one of Sparkler’s forelegs. “Sparky! You’re okay!”
Sparkler gave a couple surprised blinks, then stared down at her little sister. “Dinks! Yeah, I’m fine.” She leaned down to give the filly a quick nuzzle.
Despite her older sister’s reassurances, Dinky tightened her hold on Sparkler’s leg to the point where I had to wonder if it was going numb. “I waz so scared after last night, 'cause Uncle Cirrus wanted me t' stay close to him an' I couldn't see you or Mommy or Cloud Kicker or 'Lula, an' as much as I wanted t' see 'Lula 'cause she's so sad I wanted t' see you more 'cause you were so scared an' you were gone!” The filly paused to take a breath, then resumed the torrent of words. “I didn’t even know if you were gonna come back soon, or if you were gone forever like Missus Nimbus, ‘cause Mommy was rilly cryin’ a lot an’ sayin’ she was scared, and Rainbow Dash wuz scared too, but I’m not s’posta tell you that. Oops. But now you’re okay, an’ I dunhafta be scared no more!”
“Hey, hey...” Sparkler idly stroked the filly’s mane as she returned the desperate hug. “Chillax Dinks, I'm here. I'm back, and I'm never gonna leave you, okay?” As she continued gently reassuring the filly, Sparkler’s eyes drifted over to Rainbow Dash.
Speaking of her, Rainbow trotted over to me with her ears flat, her wings drooped, and her whole manner just generally subdued. “Uh, look, Cloud. I talked to Derpy, and she feels pretty rotten about the whole ... y’know.” She waved at my eye. There was a bit of a painful silence, and then Rainbow shifted her attention to Sparkler. “For what it's worth coming from me, Derpy said you can come back whenever you want, and she loves you. And she's sorry that you and Dinky got caught up in the whole thing between her and Cloud.”
Sparkler was still hugging Dinky, running a single hoof up and down her little sister’s back, but Rainbow’s remark drew an angry snort from her. “Yeah, I bet she is. I bet she also promises that it's never gonna happen again, doesn’t she?”
Rainbow winced at that. “Well of course it’s not gonna happen again.”
“What makes you so sure of that?” the teen demanded.
“Well, it won’t happen again ‘cause ... ‘cause it won’t,” Rainbow finished lamely.
Needless to say, Sparkler was not impressed by Rainbow’s logic. “Uh-huh. Sure it won’t.”
One of Rainbow’s ears twitched. I’d had a bit of a hard time not getting annoyed with Sparkler for the way she acted like Derpy had gone into full-on psycho mode. I definitely needed to have a few words with Aunt Wind about getting Sparkler some help. The kid had issues. Anyway, Dash was getting annoyed now, and she had a much shorter fuse than I did. “Oh come on, Spark! You know her! She’s your mom, for pony’s sake! She loves you and Dinky!”
“Mhm.” Sparkler shot a level look Rainbow’s way. “And good parents don't ever hit the ponies they love, do they? Not even when they get mad because those ponies made a big mistake.”
Rainbow let out a frustrated growl. I hate to admit it, but Sparkler was getting really hard to argue against. Not that I agreed with a single word she was saying, it’s just that she was stubbornly sticking to her position, and there was just enough twisted logic to it that we couldn’t argue her down from it. Sure, I could point out all the years of Derpy being the best damn mom she could for Sparkler, but there’s only so many ways a pony can say ‘Derpy’s not like that!’ Especially when all Sparkler would have to do is point out that I was still sporting a shiner, courtesy of her mom.
Rainbow responded the way she usually did when she couldn’t find a good way to beat somepony else’s logic. She got mad. “Oh shut up! You know she'd die before she did anything like that to either of you!”
“Rainbow,” I warned her, “you need to calm down.”
Rainbow glowered at Sparkler and gave an aggravated snarl. She stayed annoyed with the teen for a few seconds, then took a deep breath and dropped her voice down to a tight whisper. “Dinky's hearing all this! You think she needs to listen to Sparkler talking about their mom like that?”
My eyes drifted down the little filly who still had a death grip on Sparkler’s leg. A distinctly un-Dinky-like frown was forming on the filly’s face as the budding argument took shape around her. We needed to put an end to this, fast.
Dinky met my eyes, let go of her big sister, then marched right up to me and unleashed the angriest glare she could muster. “You made Mommy cry. An’ now Sparky an’ Rainbow are fightin’ ‘cause of you. Mommy usedta always be happy, but now she gets sad an’ yelly all the time, an’ it’s your fault!”
Right, well that felt like a throwing spike to the gut. Having Dinky of all ponies call me out on all the trouble I’d caused for Derpy’s family definitely hit home. I mean, she’s Dinky, the perpetually adorable and innocent little filly. And now she was getting seriously mad at me. It wasn’t hard to see why: she might not know what I’d done, but even a kid could figure out that ever since I became her mother’s special somepony, things had gotten rougher around the household.
My ears drooped down, and I knelt down a bit and lowered my head to Dinky’s level. “I know. I’m sorry, and I’m gonna try to make that right.”
Dinky fixed me with a glare full of fillyish suspicion. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
Dinky thought it over, and decided a normal promise wouldn’t cut it this time. “Pinkie Promise?”
“I will make things right,” I assured her. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Well, I was definitely committed to it now. Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise.
Dinky’s frown disappeared and her atypical dark mood seemed to lighten a bit after the declaration, though she was still a long way away from her normal cheerful self. So, I jumped on the first thing that sprang to mind as a way to lighten the mood a bit. “Hey Rainbow,” I raised my voice so everypony in the room would hear, “did you know Sparkler’s got a new fillyfriend?”
Rainbow was completely wrong-hoofed by the sudden shift in the conversation, but Blossom caught on to what I was doing and backed me up. “Yeah, Sparkler’s been lusting after Cloud’s younger cousin.”
“I am not lusting over Star!” Sparkler indignantly squawked.
Rainbow seemed to have caught on to what we were doing, and her prankster spirit came to the fore. Rainbow let out a most un-Rainbow-like little coo, then wiped fake tears away from her eyes. “Aww, my little godfilly’s all grown up. I just hope you don’t go crazy about the whole banging thing the way Cloud does.”
Dinky looked up at her big sister with a faintly confused frown. “But you usedta get all cootie-faced over Ratchet, an’ Star’s a mare.” She tapped her chin a few times in an adorably thoughtful pose as the gears turned in her filly brain. “I guess that’s good, ‘cause only colts have cooties, but that means ya gotta be ... um ... bicentennial?”
Sparkler stared at all of us, then let out a frustrated groan. Then another louder and longer one, since apparently the first groan wasn’t enough to convey her utter frustration with us.
I decided to show her a tiny bit of mercy, and mixed a little helpful advice in with my teasing this time. “You know, making such a big fuss over a tiny little bit of teasing just makes you look more guilty.”
Sparkler let out a few flustered sputters. “Wuh—well, you should quit making things up then!”
I heard another unexpected visitor clear their throat, and turned to see Star at the doorway. Ah, excellent—the teasing shall be doubled! Star evaluated the situation and applied hoof to face. “Spark, you know they only needle you for reactions, right?”
“Says the pony who was blushing and whining like a filly last night,” Sparkler grumbled.
Dinky trotted up to Star and hit her with a full dose of her usual adorableness, accompanied by the bright smile I’d been hoping to see after that atypical serious and dark moment. “Hi! I’m Dinky, an’ you’re Star, Sparky’s new special somepony. Can I hug you?” Star gave a faintly bemused nod, and the filly immediately attached herself to one of Star’s forelegs.
Star stepped inside as best she could with Dinky latched onto her. “So, I was kinda wondering where everypony had run off to when you guys missed breakfast. Hope I’m not interrupting.” There was no need to ask how she knew where to find us—a quick search last night let me find where she’d put her tracker on me, and I was willing to bet she’d probably planted gems on every other pony in the room too. She’d gotten a little tracking-crazy ever since the funeral. Can’t say I blamed her—if she’d been tracking Mom, none of this would’ve happened.
Okay, it sounded really bad when I said it like that. I didn’t mean for it to come out like I was blaming Star for being insufficiently paranoid or anything. Really, if anypony was to blame, it was me for not figuring out that something was seriously off about my own feathering mother...
Ugh, I didn’t wanna go over that again. I jumped on the opportunity to do other things, and grinned at Star. “So, you just couldn't go any longer without seeing your lady love?”
Sparkler groaned and slammed her head into one of the pillows on the couch. For her part, Star managed to maintain a bit of composure. It probably helped that this time she was only getting teased by me, rather than her entire family. Plus, we weren’t exactly catching her completely by surprise this time.
Blossom tried and failed to stifle a giggle behind her hooves. “You two do make a lovely couple.”
Rainbow joined in on the fun, looking the two over critically. “I’m gonna give the two of you as a couple ... seven out of ten on coolness, nine out of ten on awesomeness, and only a six on your radical score. Still, not bad at all, and you can always bump those numbers up.”
Sparkler threw up her hooves and screamed to the heavens, “All of you are absolutely infuriating! And you’re evil. Evil!”
Star sighed and rolled her eyes, gently pulled her foreleg away from Dinky, then trotted over and gave Sparkler a few calming pats on the back before turning to face us. “Fine, I admit it. It's all true. Last night Sparkler and I had sex. Tons of sex. Sexy, sexy sex. You happy now?”
Sparkler’s jaw hit the floor. “STAR!”
I grinned at Blossom and Rainbow. “Called it.”
One of Sparkler’s eyes started twitching, and she let out a nervous squeak that reminded me of Fluttershy. Star leaned over and whispered something to her, and the younger unicorn’s eyes widened, then she very slowly nodded along. “Oh yeah ... We had very sexy sex. Sexily.”
Well, not hard to guess what Star’s game was: take away all our ammunition by pretending it was true. It is rather hard to tease somepony about something when their response is to just agree with you and move on.
Star tossed a foreleg over Sparkler’s back. “And now Sparkler and I must go. To have sex. Again. Because that's what we do.” She started tugging Sparkler towards the door.
“Yes,” Sparkler agreed, still sounding a bit wooden and forced. “Sex. And banging. Fornication. Coitus. Pearl-diving. Doing the pony pokey. Dancing the horizontal tango. Making muffins.” Sparkler froze and gagged a bit at the last one.
The two young mares headed out the door, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Blossom, Rainbow, and I were all giggling at them. As they walked Sparkler’s tail flicked out and brushed along Star’s flank, prompting my cousin to jump a bit, then move half a step closer so that the two of them were practically touching sides. “Stupid teases teasing me teasingly...” Sparkler grumbled under her breath as the two of them made their departure, still walking a bit too close to each other for ‘just’ friends.
I shared a look with Rainbow and Blossom, and then all three of us started laughing like a bunch of madponies. What can I say? Young ponies in love are funny. Especially when they both still seem to have not quite figured it out for themselves yet.
Our laughter was cut terribly short by one of the most horrifying things imaginable: in all the fun of teasing Sparkler, we’d forgotten that her little sister had been there the whole time. Dinky looked at the three of us, her eyes full of innocent fillyish curiosity, and asked, “What’s that sex stuff Sparky was talkin’ about? And what’s it gotta do with makin’ muffins? Are she and Star gonna make some muffins for us? ‘Cause I rilly like muffins, even when they’re not Mommy-muffins.” Dinky leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. “Mommy says her muffins are the best ‘cause she makes ‘em with love.”
“Oh, horseapples,” Rainbow groaned under her breath.
Well said, Rainbow.
I took a crack at salvaging the situation. “Um ... well, you see Dinky, it’s...” My brain completely failed me at that point.
“It's a thing adults do,” Blossom helpfully supplied. “You wouldn’t like it. It’s really boring.”
Dinky immediately pouted like—well, like a little filly. “Ponies’re always sayin’ that whenever I ask about stuff! I wanna know now!”
“It’s something you gotta ask your mom about!” Rainbow hastily blurted out. “It’s a rule. Only moms can tell their kids about it. Because.” Dinky frowned at Rainbow, still not completely sold on her explanation, and Dash went for one of the tried and true methods of deflecting uncomfortable questions from a kid: bribery. “Say, wanna stop by the bakery and get some banana-nut muffins? I bet if we hurry, we can get there right as the muffins are comin’ outta the oven.”
Dinky pondered this offer for a time, then her face brightened up in a gleeful smile. “A’kay!”
Whew, crisis averted. And there are ponies who say Rainbow Dash isn't smart.
Dinky started heading for the door, then turned around and hopped onto Rainbow’s back instead. “Ponyback ride!” She made herself comfortable on Rainbow’s back, then her ears perked up as a new thought occurred to her. “Is there a book we can read about this?”
Rainbow started sweating for a moment, until she found a way out. “Yeah there’s books, but there's a part in the Godmom Contract that says your mom has to be the one to read it to you.”
Dinky let out a petulant little grumble. “Fiiiine. I'll go ask Mommy about readin' it to me, but I'm also gonna tell her that she needs to fix the Godmom Contract, 'cause I like readin' with you about important stuff. You do those rilly funny an’ neat voices!”
Rainbow’s face went from relieved to horror-stricken in an instant. I’d be about the same, if Derpy found out Dinky was asking her questions about sex because of me. I’d gone to a lot of effort to avoid spoiling Dinky’s innocence on that subject.
Rainbow summed up her thoughts on the matter quite succinctly. “Well, my life is officially over.”