Dan grinned as he tied the not tight. "HaHA!" Quickly, he turned back to the MTW's controls and rotated the turret. He lowered the barrel and swerved it around, attracting the magnetic explosives. When they were just close enough, he flooded the barrel with cupcake batter. The sticky ooze flooded all the way to the end of the artillery cannon's barrel.
Dan swiveled the barrel around, like a giant spoon with cookie dough at the end. Just like cookie dough, the batter stuck to the tiny explosive balls and gathered them up. He spun the barrel all the way around, collecting the explosive orbs in the batter like chocolate chips. Now, his preparations were almost perfect. The flying donut Cogsdale was about to meet its first donut hole.
Twisting the controls hard in his hands, he spun the turret rapidly, as fast as it would go.
"Oh gawd... I'm gonna be sick..." he squinted his eyes as he spun. "I'm gonna kill that thing but I'm gonna be sick."
The world spun in front of his eyes and it was dark, but he kept his focus on the glimmering steel ring that assaulted his friends. His stomach was queasy but his fingers were on the triggers. He fired the donut hole at the whole donut.
The Cogsdale was about to unleash another freeze ray beam at the cannon's barrel when it was struck by the batter ball. Its ventral optical sensors, which had been targeting the cannon at that moment, were suddenly confused by the sight of a large wad what it analyzed as sugar, yeast, egg and butter stuck to the outside of its hull. More confusing to its A.I. was the fact that its own explosive ordinance was stuck in the ball. Its confusion quickly evaporated, however, when the donut hole exploded.
The explosives had been designed to penetrate magical shields, but they worked just fine against the hull of the Cogsdale. The Cogsdale Mk. 2 was not as sturdy or well-built as its ill-fated predecessor had been. In truth, Rice had simply taken parts from Gust's carriers and the Plasma frigate and built an armored shell around it. Part of the reason was because he didn't have time to build something fancier, the rest of the reason was that he just didn't care any more.
"YES! YES!" Dan applauded his own actions as he slowly stopped spinning. "I could say something about toasted bagels or iced coffee but I can't think of anything. Pinkie, I just might not launch you out of this thing if you get me one of them."
"You get that I'm not even there, right?"
"Oh, if only I could believe that," Dan said to the fourth wall Pinkie phantom. He'd been through a lot and was kind-of dehydrated so hallucinations were not out of the realm of possibility.
The Cogsdale's starboard hull was ripped apart by the explosion. A sizeable chunk of the ship's right side was vaporized in an instant, shockwaves cracking the hull horizontally. Metal warped and twisted as the blast tossed the ship, thrust from the engines still keeping airborne even as its systems failed.
The ship's A.I. became dizzy itself as explosion sent it into a spin. Determined, if it couldn't maintain altitude, it would fulfill its mission another way.
"I shouldn't be surprised he's able to do something like this..." Rarity said, remarking on the sight of the exploding airship. "But I still am."
"Me too," Phoenix said. The sky was lit up by the spinning, burning steel donut-shaped vessel. With a wad of cake batter and a few explosives, Dan had once again seemed to do the impossible. Whether he knew it or not, whether he intended it or not, revenge was an art form with him. Dan made the simple act of payback into an art, and mastered both the science and art of revenge. It was hard not to watch.
Back at the train platform, Twilight arrived at the same time Chris and Cap did.
"Okay, NOBODY's drawing lots," Doctor Whooves said. "There'll be room enough for us all, I promise you- TWILIGHT!"
"Doctor?"
"We might have to draw lots," he quickly said under his breath. The Doctor was trying to keep up the facade of optimism but it was clear time and now civility were not on their side. Reed Roamer and his reformed cronies had arrived and now the train platform was absolutely swollen with ruffians. The dogs had added to the crowd of zebras, ponies, griffons and donkeys and it was very clear they all recognized the same problem- the train car would not fit them all.
"Women and children first!"
"There ARE no women or children here!"
"Hey, I resent that!"
"You'll resent my fist across your fat beak!"
"Who are you calling fat? You dogs take up twice the space normal people do!"
"My friends, if we could just organize ourselves," Tuxley said, or tried to say over the voices of everyone, "there is no need to panic."
Reginald adjusted his glasses. "We were having tea moments ago. That was nice. Then, Mr. Roamer and his associates arrived."
"This tends to happen when you're late for tea."
"Quite right, sir."
"Quite right indeed."
"HOLD ON!" Twilight yelled. She flew up and over everyone.
"It's the purple one! She has a plan, doesn't she?"
"She always does! If not her, than that loud guy!"
Twilight nodded. She retrieved the Crystal Heart from her saddlebag. "Indeed, I do have a plan."
"What is it?" a random pony asked.
"It's this. Say 'cheese!" But before anyone had a chance to do so, Twilight's horn already had started glowing. In a flash of light, they all disappeared. And into the Crystal Heart they went.
Twilight held the Crystal Heart up to her ear. She couldn't hear them, but had to imagine they were safe inside along with the Crystal Empire.
"My goodness! What was that bright light just now?" Judge asked.
Colress stepped out of the train alongside him. "I believe Twilight used her magic to... teleport everyone into the Crystal Heart?"
Twilight nodded. "That's exactly right. But now, we need Colress to help guide the train but as for you, Judgey..."
"Oh! I'm quite fine either way. I'm certain the ride will be just as thrilling in a toy train or a toy jewel!" he said.
"Well, we might need the extra hands."
The judge gave a smile and a bow. "Then you will have them."
"Thank you, judge. Let's get aboard." They didn't really notice as they stepped on but a few of the foodimals were already on the train car. All that was left was for Phoenix, Rarity, the Gears and Dan to join them.
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Well, as Twilight wouldnt say, when e pi i them, you get minus one.
I shall call this cannon, Matroska.
Or Onion. But Id rather not.
Onions get fried more than fired.
Huzzah for it’s a special day for all my fellow Bronies and Pegasisters in the good ol’ US of A so not only am I early I want to wish you all:
Happy 4th July Everypony! 💥🎉🎂🎉💥
May all your barbecues turn out just right, all your Cola be cool and all your fireworks go BOOM!
Sadly since I just visited with my good friend Sleeping Aid (love ya pal) I can’t stay conscious much longer, but wanted to stop by and wish everyone a Happy 4th July weekend, and blessed be to all the Bronies and Pegasisters everywhere!
Mostly I wish you a Happy 4th July dearest Barro, I know things have been tough for you lately, and it means so much that you updated today anyway, truly your loyalty as an author means the world and moves my usually pessimistic little heart.
I shall return on the morrow with a full review to be written below:
Review
Awesome as always and I’ll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
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You've made me look forward to your reviews every week. I can honestly say that. Sleep well and take care dear lady and happy 4th as well! I have a friend who plays Rule Britannia today every year.
It's actually raining where I am but because of the pandemic, even if I could I wouldn't be going to any barbecues. Unless I have one at home for just me and my mother. Which is tempting, to be honest. At any rate, it's always good to see you and I look forward to seeing what you think.
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And no matter whatever crap goes on I my week I know I can look forward to another Dan-tastic instalment, doesn't matter if it's as action-packed as this one, as surprising as finding out Mr Mumbles is co-ordinating with the other Kitties behind the scenes, something just plain weird (like the sheer number of Star Wars characters in this thing that Princess Luna seemingly was unaware of (I'm more inclined to believe she would've made her own spaceship to fight them if she were or Barro and Michael's never-ending quest for the raffle ticket con-man (I know Michael ending up using those but I can just imagine them still finding the guy and getting their own Dan-Style revenge ... gosh I hope Barro and Michael are both okay with all these space-shenanigans!) ... doesn't mattress what happens or how long the chapter is, I always enjoy it and always have somethings to look forward to thanks to you.
Sorry for the lack of barbecue, if it helps the weather's crap here too (for days now the weather has been positively bi-polar: pouring rain one minute then sunny the next-actually it's more like a kid on a sugar-high! Well I hope some good barbecuing is in your near future, no one should be without barbecue in the summer! And ice cream too, plenty of ice cream! And Cola for the making of non-root beer-free root beer floats"! (Tried it, hate the stuff, Cola is the way to go, or Pepsi at a shove!)
Anyhoo, thanks for making my Wednesday a bit more Dan-tastic as always and wishing you and your mother happy week ahead.
Your Eternal Fan ^_^
I like to imagine they all were just dropped in the middle of the throne room.