Samule led Dan and Phoenix to the opposite side of the complex.
"We don't have much left. Thanks to you fine folks," Samule said. "But we do have this."
Standing in front of Dan, mounted on a train car, taking up most of the entire north platform was-
"An RGA 'Mr. Turtle' Mane Tactical Weapon," Dan said. "You guys have an RGA 'Mr. Turtle' Mane Tactical Weapon." He slowly turned to Samule and added, "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME UNTIL JUST NOW?!?!"
The Royal Guard Armory's MTW, or Mane Tactical Weapon, was originally designed as a party cannon by Pinkie Pie herself. The largest and most powerful of all party cannons, it was built to launch parties, confetti and fireworks from one city in Equestria to the other, so that friends who lived apart could still celebrate together. Nicknamed "Mr. Turtle" because it was made to look like a giant turtle, with four folding legs that sank into the ground to stabilize it.
Like the Spiral Staircase, the cannon was transformable. The 'head' in the front loaded the shells, in a way that made it look like it was eating them, and the dome-shaped 'shell' connecting it housed the barrel, which extended outward from the very top. Surrounding it was a ring of smaller barrels that fired smaller ordinance but with only slightly less power and range. With the pink, white and red stripes adorning it, there was no question Pinkie Pie had come up with it.
Too big for even Pinkie to move on her own, it was mounted on a train car. Only a handful of prototypes were completed before the project was canceled. Mostly because it was easier just to set up fireworks in each city, seriously, why would a city have to launch fireworks to another city?
"What if another town ran OUT of fireworks? That's happened before! What happens THEN? Does nopony else think of these things but me?!"
Uh, yeah. Pinkie, really, this is wayyy too dangerous. You can't use weapons-grade artillery at a kid's party.
"I'm not doing this for a kid's party," said impromptu flashback Pinkie Pie.
Okay, well, thank you for understa-
"I'm doing this for a COOL kid's party!"
Goddammit.
"I'll handle this," said real Twilight projecting herself into the flashback. "Pinkie, doesn't this cannon seem a little big?"
"YES," she exclaimed, without hesitating.
Twilight put a hoof around her friend. "But what about your regular party cannon? You don't want it to get lonely, do you?"
Pinkie thought for a while. "No..." she finally said.
"How about you just use it for special occasions?" Twilight suggested, and immediately, Pinkie's face began lighting up. "I mean VERY special occasions." To Pinkie Pie, any occasion can be special so the first suggestion was tantamount to proposing she use it for anything.
Pinkie nodded. "You're right, Twilight. That's a good idea," she said, and got up off the ground. Pinkie liked to sit when she was feeling down, that way she could stand when and literally rise up when her mood improved. "Hey, when is Owlowiscious's birthday again?"
"Uhh, uhhh," Twilight stammered, "You know what, let me d-double-check on that and get back to you. In the meantime, you should find a place to put this thing when you're not, uh, using it."
"Okie-dokey. I'll take care of it, Twilight."
"Thanks, Pinkie."
"I wonder if Cranky knows any place..."
As a matter of fact, he did. A few other prototypes were developed in secret under Luna's instructions and modified to be actual weapons, though only for testing. Luna always did her best to be foresighted, even though she knew that sometimes, it had cost her. She was capable of making that sacrifice for her kingdom; she didn't mind being the darker one. Because she wasn't.
Neither of them were.
So, that's how the biggest and greatest candy-colored party cannon came to be in a Donquestrian prison complex. Wait, where's Dan?
"Are you squeeing done yet? Nobody needs the horsesquee history of this howitzer, pal, just tell me how to use it," Dan said from atop train turret. During the flashback, Dan had mounted the artillery gun himself, pretty much a second after it began, eager to use it.
"You'll be needing my help for that," Samule said, striding over to the switching lever with slight grin.
Sendback elbowed Phoenix, standing right next to him. "This gonna be good."
Dan looked around the giant cannon from his position. "So Sammy,I have the controls for the gun, the loader, the secondary launchers, the mortars and the flamethrower but how do I turn this thing on?"
"Sammy" grinned wider. "Oh, the train will do all of that on its own. You don't have to worry about steering, speed or any of that. You just need to worry about hanging on."
"Why's that? There's no engine attached to this thing! How does it even run?"
"Gravity."
"What's supposed to mea- oh, you son of a-"
"What I mean is simple," Samule said. And he yanked the lever.
The door sprung open, the railway flipped upward almost ninety degrees, and gravity did the rest.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHG!!!!!!!" The train car, the cannon and Dan all went screaming down into the depths of the cannon, riding on the now high-speed rail system.
"When I say "remain seated," I mean it," Samule said. "And Dan?" he asked after the man, as if he could hear him, "Enjoy the ride."
Samule walked over to Sendback and Phoenix, the former of which didn't have a buck to give and the latter was on the verge of saying, "Please don't hurt me."
"Wright. Sendback."
"Please don't hurt me." See?
But all he did was acknowledge the two, and left. A moment later, Sendback also left without another word.
"Wait!" The two donkeys turned to Phoenix as he called them. "Umm... what should I do? Now?"
"Get ready to get shot out of a cannon. We're heading back to the south station with the others. You coming?"
"Oh, uh, sure." (Hopefully Dan doesn't mind me taking up valor in the form of discretion.)
He did mind. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH NICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" The weight of the cannon and the train car combined with the steep incline and curvature of the bowl-shape the cannon's barrel was in equaled a very high velocity.
Dan gripped the controls of the gun for dear life. The artillery piece came up out of the dive and accelerated into a loop around the bowl itself. His heart was racing, he was pissed off at Samule, and he was in control of a giant cannon. So he quickly located the Cogsdale Mk.2 hovering above the prison, firing ice beams at it and aimed for it.
"Alright, whoever the hell's flying that donut, prepare to be glazed!" He hit the button to fire.
The ice gun on the donut was about to fire again when all of a sudden, it was slammed from the side by something hot. It soon found itself covered in steaming cupcake batter. The gun then looked around for the source of the assailant and found Dan. This pissed it off, as much as an ice gun could be, anyway.
Dan looked through the gunsight. "She put the cupcake batter in the cannon. That's THREE TIMES, PINKIE!"
As Samule opened the door to the connecting hall, Colress and Knight came charging out of it.
"Phoenix!"
"Colress? What's wrong?"
"There's something you need to hear," the scientist said. He held up the adorable mech pony, and the voice of another scientist came through. Not just a scientist, but a doctor, and one Phoenix knew.
"Hello again, Phoenix. It's Vice. Doctor Vice."
"Doctor...?" Phoenix asked, perplexed at first. But then he remembered. "Dr. Vice Grip? From the mirror universe?"
"It's good to hear from you. Thought you might need some help."
Phoenix took Knight carefully in his hands. "How are you contacting us?"
"Through the the Magic Gear, obviously. But right now, I need you to get somewhere out in the open."
"Okay, we're moving."
Not one to be left out of things, Samule and Sendback followed the two humans up to the top of the north tower. It had shifted since the cannon's transformation with part of it now forming the barrel.
"We're outside now," Phoenix said.
"Alright, stand by." Knight's horn began to glow and Phoenix set her on the ground. Tiny particles of light began to rise from the ground, sparkling glimmers of magic, possibly the only magic Equestria had left.
"What's going on?" Samule asked. "Where's that guy calling from?"
"Another world parallel to our own, but different in many critical ways," Colress said. He was typing on his wrist-computer as data flowed into his visor's display. "It's going to take a while to catalog all of this!" Even as the data streamed in, it shifted, changed, and he knew it, but the memory of it would be stored.
Bubbles appeared in the air, but bubbles of space. The dimensional fabric became malleable, bubbling, shifting and surging as it absorbed and exchanged pockets of space from another universe.
"What the hell is going on, Nick?" Samule demanded.
"It's a summoning spell! Knight's performing a summoning spell!"
The Magic Gear's eyes lit up. Bands of magic wrapped around her, swirling around her body and channeling into her horn. A ball of light appeared in the center of the prison, spinning as the twisting and turning of space spun around it. Wind whipped around them, around the complex even faster than it had been, almost deafening.
"What's she summoning?!" Samule yelled.
"All I know is, shit is about to get real!" Sendback said. "I see how this is!"
"I never had a chance to tell you myself, but thank you, Mr. Wright. Thank you for saving my hospital and my friends."
The bubble overhead expanded. A figure, a massive one came through.
"Also, I think this belongs in your universe. It was time to send her back home."
"Oh mai bucking gawd."
"Thank you again, Phoenix Wright. I hope this helps."
The light ball exploded in a blinding flash. Four titanic hooves landed on the four platforms. And they landed with a loud, metal clank.
The Prodigal Metal Sister
Magic Gear ALT
From a Mirror, Brightly Shining
The Cogsdale was busy trying to target Dan when the light caught its attention. The A.I.-controlled flying fortress had to adjust its scope when it saw what appeared to be a giant metal filly occupying standing on the prison towers, but its visual sensors were apparently correct. This was a bit surprising; Rice had not programmed the machine with knowledge of the Magic Gears, considering how almost all of them had defected. But now, it wasn't 'almost.'
"It's the Magic Gear from the Mirror Universe!" Phoenix exclaimed.
"The what?! I thought these things were tiny!" Samule yelled.
"Our larger chassis were destroyed by Barro, unfortunately," Knight said.
Colress chimed in with, "Well, who's to say we can't fix them at some point?"
"Please state the nature of the magical emergency." Dr. Vice had added his own modifications to ALT, supposedly from another doctor, but where he got them is anyone's guess. Probably Q.
"ALT! Or, uh, Alty! We need you to stop that flying donut-thing from icing this cannon!"
"Error: icing does not make donuts fly. It only makes them tastier."
The Cogsdale fired its ice gun at the giant pony. It struck her in the side, and covered her in ice.
Holy shit
That's a lotta words Imma bout to read...
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Thanks, hope you enjoy it.
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Will there be a Pink Fluffy Unicorn Dancing On Rainbows? :V
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You'll have to find out for yourself~ You might try Episode 8, though.
Pinkies Ultimate Party Cannon. Turtly Awesome.
Dans being taken for a ride yet again, well, given what he did to Barrow, what goes around rails around.
Dan verses Cog, Batter Up?
Knight verses Ice? this is looking to be a real cool fight, man.
Barro please know I really am sorry for what you’re going through, the current situation is annoying (I freely admit I can only say that because a) I’m pretty much a hermit normally anyways and b) no one I care about has been affected) so having to deal with this must be a burden, I’m sorry for what you’re going through and please know how much I appreciate you updating anyway.
Bye for now dearest author and I’ll see you ~next time~
Your Eternal Fan
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Thank you. I look forward to your comment when you get around to reading this chapter, as always. But don't feel obligated or anything- there's no rush. Just be safe right now and take care of yourself. The story is here when you need it.
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I’m sorry for the late reply, I wasn’t notified of the comment yet again, FIMFic does that at times.
I will say, I apologise for how I am in some of my comments. And I apologise as well for never expressing gratitude for my OC’s insertion into the story (even though I thought I did).
I’m critical at the best of times. It’s ups and downs that lead to me either being lenient or super critical to the point of being an asshole. But it’s mostly critique... mostly. Of course, everything is affected by emotion and my comments are no different, though I do try not to be mean or anything. The one argument we had - or other arguments we had but I’ve forgotten - I do regret.
I loved this story. And while I don’t love it as I did back then - as explained in the original comment - I still do like it and want to keep reading even if I’m losing interest.
I personally consider you a friend, for multiple reasons not just that my OC is in your story, so it saddens me that I’ve “left a bad taste in your mouth” as you say. As said, I don’t intend to.
I am grateful for what you’ve done with Lightning, ever since you first added him to the story. I can’t remember the exact circumstances as to how he even got added. I love every scene he is in, how could I not? I love what you’ve done with him in terms of his personality, his backstory, everything. I said a long time ago that it was an opportunity I used to redesign the character and I wasn’t kidding. The personality and backstory you wrote for him in this story I made canon to him as a whole - with minor alterations, understandably. So, thank you. If I’ve never properly said that, I’m saying it now. Thank you. Thank you for adding Lightning to your story. Thank you for listening to my critique in the earlier stages of the story, my DM’s, my silly comments, etc. Thank you for putting up with me so far.
I apologise again for my critique. I will admit it’s gotten sour the longer the story has gone on, and as said I regret that argument we had. I don’t hate the story, nor do I hate you or really feel anything negative towards you or the story. I provide critique as I feel because I like helping, even if it’s not really wanted. I try not to sound mean, or be an asshole, but sometimes I fail and... well...
As I’ve said, I like the story. I’m still reading it. Honestly I’m somewhat impressed it’s gone on so long, with so many different plots, references, themes, etc. even if my own opinion is that it’s gone on a bit too long. It’s a question of if you’re burning yourself out with this as well, I must admit, though you said yourself you’ve written yourself into a few corners at times.
I’m not really sure what else to say, other than repeating what I’ve already said which I find I do far too often. I suppose I could say that you don’t need to fish for sympathy. I do care - or rather I try to, I might fail at times because I’m socially inept - but I care. I care enough to be regretful and hurt that I’ve caused you some pain or discomfort with my actions, certainly.
If you wanna talk more in PM’s or something, either to chat or ask questions or something, I’m open to that, always have been. I still have those PM’s saved from way back when we talked about Lightning and the story in general. Archived. I dunno where I’m going with this...
Edit:
I think this entire comment’s come out wrong, to be honest. But I don’t know what else to write.
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It does do that. I could've handled myself better in my replies to you as well, my friend. I'm overly-sensitive when it comes to this story and I shouldn't be. It takes up so much of my time, my energy and my thoughts that it's hard not to. It's not perfect, there are times when it doesn't meet my own standards. As I've said, it needs editing and rewriting. But, there's a lot to be optimistic about, too. The first few episodes are pretty much good, not much needed beyond a few touch-ups. Episode 10 is where I think I'd start rewriting but the story will remain the same, just with some of the clutter removed.
The fact that I've had the persistence to continue updating this story and keep it going for as long as I have is almost the only thing of merit it has. That's probably true in a lot of eyes. But, it also has a couple cute songs, some funny moments and a few laughs. It was based on the blogs and YouTube videos, which had a lot of randomness in it just for fun. This story tries to give some sense and reason for that randomness to be there. Over time, I've worked to tie it in with some of my other stories because coming up with new ideas every week is not easy. And, a good portion of it is just things I wanted. There's a reason for that, too- me just wanting it to be there.
So thank you for putting up with this. I know it hasn't been easy.
Yay, now they have the whole set!