Dear Short Fuse,
Since Hasbro has the bright idea of match making my older sister with a carbon copy of herself. I'd figure I introduce you to my other angry sister! I even have the bestest Couple’s Cupcakes for it!
Your soon-to-be fellow friendly family member,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Pinkie,
First off, keep your drugged up cupcakes to yourself. Secondly, leave the shipping to me.
Signed,
Princess Cadance
Dear Scootaloo,
Of course eavesdropping isn't weird, I do it all the time when I'm watching couples having sex from outside the bedroom window.
Sincerely,
Princess Molestia
Element Bearer Rainbow Dash Truly Loyal?
Since the creation of the School of Friendship, in the town of Ponyville, plenty of controversy has surrounded it. From the expected sexual allegations from the resident slut princess, to Chancellor Neighsay's continued disapproval of the schools existence with his racist xenophobia; the Friendship School has come under fire from its beginning school daze leading ponies to speculate an eventual school raze in the near future.
However, all previous incidents don't hold a candle to the current accusations against one educator in the school; Professor Rainbow Dash, on how can she teach loyalty to her students when she exhibits none of said trait.
Interviewing students, they explained that Professor Rainbow Dash teaches nothing but lessons on awesomeness, with the Professor explaining that it is an aspect of loyalty which, to put it bluntly, is utter bullshit.
This has led some to believe that she is not deserving of the element bestowed to her by the Tree of Harmony. Which is further justified by the recent event of Rainbow Dash abandoning a surrogate sister to do dangerous stunts meant for professionals.
When interviewed, Professor Rainbow Dash denied such accusations, citing that the blame should be passed to Lightning Cunt, as Rainbow puts it, since she was the one to encourage Scootaloo to partake in that dangerous stunt. When our interviewer mentioned how Rainbow also had once allowed Scootaloo to partake in a reckless stunt she pulled during her debut as a Wonderbolt, Rainbow quickly dismissed it saying that at least she didn't involve her in the whole stunt itself, unlike Miss Lightning Dust.
Meanwhile, Scootaloo; Head of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club and also the newest friendship tutor to the School of Friendship, claims that the fault is all on her. Scootaloo proceeded to talk about how her parents weren't around so she tends to make such irresponsible decisions. When asked where her closest relatives are, she mentioned her Aunts Holiday and Lofty. Scootaloo explained further during the incident, they were too busy having "private sessions" with one another and let Scootaloo do her own thing with the Washouts. Said aunts weren't around to elaborate on that fact, however.
Regardless of who's to blame, this event has sparked off ponies to further question Professor Rainbow Dash's legitimacy as previous incidents have also come to light with the case stacked against her piling up high. For instance, allowing elderly mares to go on a roller coaster ride despite the Professor Applejack's wishes against it and endangering a couple of students for a Best Teacher Award against a fellow teacher doesn't exactly scream “loyal”, does it?
Unfortunately, Professor Applejack wasn't around to comment further on either incident.
But these recent discoveries, coupled with said incident, has shed some doubt on the Professor's credibility. Hence, this coming week, all evidence gathered will be put to court against Professor Rainbow Dash, the event of the court hearing being dubbed "Turnabout Storm 2: Electric Boogaloo."
In retaliation to this, Headmistress Twilight Sparkle has prepared a spell to once again special summon a spiky haired ape from the human world to defend Professor Rainbow Dash.
In other news, the Leader of The Washouts is now injured after a stunt gone wrong. Currently in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinking through a straw!
Dear Scootaloo,
We regret to inform you that you've been kicked out of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club.
How dare you abandoned your honorary sister when she was just somepony watching over you
Sincerely,
Fellow Members of the Fan Club
Come Join the Scootaloo Fan Club!
Be Part of the Chicken Coop!
Join Now!
Dude, great letter, as always. But are you aware you're one hundred likes away from 5K? Thought you should know that.
Dear Lightning Dust,
It has come to our attention that you recently attempted to recruit our only niece into your traveling stunt pony group that is totally not trying to rip off the Wonderbolts.
Not only did you not consult us despite Scootaloo being in our legal care, but you also decided to attach highly explosive rockets to her scooter. And when she tried to back out, you forced her to do the stunt that would've ended horribly had Rainbow Dash not been there to save her.
Hope you know a good attorney, because you better believe we're suing you for child endangerment
Sincerely,
Aunt Holiday and Auntie Lofty
P.S. You don't wanna know what Scootaloo's parents will do if they find out about your little stunt. The last pony who did fled town rather than become a new exhibit.
I can't believe I have to ask, but who is this? Sonic?
9702983
Phoenix Wright from the Ace Attorney Series. ( it's a mobile gamed. Just look up Phoenix Wright in the Google play store.)
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Honestly, I'm not holding my breath. I don't think there's enough new traffic.
Who knows, though? I've got no other stories planned, so I'll probably be focusing on this one a bit more.
9702998
Thank you.
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It's also a reference to the Ace Attorney crossover fic Turnabout Storm, in which Rainbow Dash is on trial for murder and Phoenix Wright is summoned to be her defense attorney. I can understand why that went over your head (unless you actually did understand the reference, in which my reply is a complete waste of everyone's time), considering how old the fic is.
What I'm still trying to figure out is why Phoenix Wright is getting "special summoned." Odd place for a Yu-Gi-Oh! reference.
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Honestly, I just stopped questioning anything in the Disgruntled-Verse years ago.
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Actually it's a GBA game series that got it's English Debut on the DS then the Wii before continuing on the 3DS and going onto Mobile rerelease and current console gen rerelease. 7th game in the main series is believed to be the 3rd one for the Switch should the news article about 2 collections and a 7th game for the Switch prove to be true. So far collection 1 is out.
9703142
This same fix was later turned into a 6 part series on YouTube. With someone else making a new series with the first episode already out called Ace Attorney: Elements of Justice.
Short Fuse and Limestone? They'd kill each other. The only question is whether it'd be through open combat or in the bedroom.
Missing question mark.
Dear Spitfire,
Where did you get your motivational speech? Did you steal it from an ape living in a van down by the river? Well, la di frickin' da! You will have plenty of time to steal motivational speeches when you are thirty-five years old, thrice divorced, and living in a van down by the river! You should stop stealing motivational speeches, however, otherwise you could end up in jail wishing to Celestia that you were living in a van down by the river!
Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave who, thanks to her infinite mercy, is no longer living in a van down by the river,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
9703739
But in theory the Alicorns are like demi-gods that have a body of steel and can't even get a flu
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An official short begs to differ.
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Sigh, I forgot about that...
Holy fuck, how have I been reading this story for that long?
You should have gone with "hedgehog thing" instead of ape.
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Other way around; video series on YouTube was adapted into a fic.