Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
To the desk of the Foal Free Press Editor-in-Chief,
Please stop sending inquiries for my opinion on what everyone is calling the "nice terrorist attack" in Prance. Because right now, I'm really trying, and so far failing to understand this town.
For as long as I can remember, almost all Equestrians have been anti-terrorist, and now we're calling their attacks nice? When did that happen?
What is so nice about galloping into a firework-watching crowd with a carriage?
Further inquiries will be ignored. I'm much too busy dealing with an investigation into why I was sending letters with a private, unsecured dragon service.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville
Addendum: Further investigation has revealed that the carriage driver was not a terrorist, and that he was just playing Ponymon Go.
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Ah, so THAT'S why the letters have stopped coming. It all makes sense now.
I don't get how it's nice. They killed more then they would have with bombs.
How soon is too soon? Milesprower will not rest until he finds out!
(Just so I'm not sending the wrong message, this fic did get a chuckle out of me, and it's much appreciated <3)
7393434 I think Nice, stands for something. No idea what, and it sounds stupid, but that has to be the case.
7393460 It stands of Nice, France, the place that had a terrorist attack happen on it today (7/14/16 as of this writing)
What? No really, what? That line at the end raises too many questions to make a decent punchline. Doesn't Fax Machine already count as a private service? Then why would she be facing the investigation if she can deflect every single question with "Princess Celestia gave me Fax Machine. If you've got a problem with it, take it up with her."? Or does she have some other dragon chained up in her castle to use as a "fax machine?" And why would it be private, unsecured, or an issue if dragonmail is two-way? Who the hell else is she sending letters to with the other dragon? Who the hell would she want to send dragonmail to in the first place? If Equestria is ruled by alicorn princesses who literally make the laws, then how the hell is she being investigated? And if you already established that Disgruntled Twilight is Donald Trump, then when exactly did she become Hillary Clinton?
Day one of reading - 01: I apologize for the lack of truth in the beggining of this humble recording of my adventures in investigating this story, for I have only read the title and the summary so far. I am getting a Mentally Advanced Series vibe from them. I find myself torn between fear for my life and amusement. Keep the authorities and a good hospital in speed dial. Godspeed to me.
7393434 The attack took place in Nice, France.
7393453 I wasn't going to do anything this time, but I was browsing Yahoo and saw an article that was honest-to-god titled "Nice Terrorist Attack" and decided to run with it.
In my opinion, far tamer than my Orlando chapter.
Wonder when will the next chapter come out...
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
Every other day there seems to be a mass shooting here in Equestria or a terrorist attack in some other country. After so many bad things happen, it is hard to find the good. Even though the bad things seem to overwhelmingly outnumber the good things, it is not good to wallow in depression. All you can do is mourn, grieve, and, as long as you are not somehow directly affected by the tragedy, move on. Because if you let every newsworthy tragedy affect you with the same high level of intensity, it will drive you mad.
Signed your loyal slave who has realized that he cares more than he thought he did,
Neko Majin C.
I was seriously debating with myself whether or not I should write my response in character. But then I thought if I respond out of character, then the terrorists would win.
~KBO.
7393460
Other than liberté, égalité, and fraternité? No, it's just a city name (and is not pronounced the same as the word, 'nice')
7393469 Ah, the article I saw on it didn't actually state the city name, so I was unaware of that.
Another headline from the Foal Free Press:
EQUESTRIA GAMES IN GRIFFINSTONE DOOMED TO FAIL?
With the Equestria Games about a month away, many are worried that this year's location, Griffinstone, is not fully prepared or safe for the athletes and visitors.
Despite assurances from their de facto leader, Gilda, several sources state that the construction of the arena for the games themselves is not completely finished. Along with the heavily contaminated water supply and the faulty safety equipment, injuries and/or sickness is a very likely outcome if the Games are not postponed.
It's not just the arena itself as an issue. Other problems lie with the security. Cloudsdale athletes arriving to train noticed several contractor security guards on protest holding a large sign that read "Welcome to Tartarus". With rampant muggers on the prowl and reports of Changeling Infiltrators on the rise, many also fear for their lives.
Princess Twilight Sparkle delivered this response when asked about the situation with the Games:
"Yes, I am firmly aware of the many issues surrounding the upcoming Equestria Games. Anypony who needs a full in depth analysis can come see me in my bedchamber tonight."
Ponyville weather pony and silver medalist for the Equestria Games of the Crystal Empire, Rainbow Dash told reporters:
"Yeah, I'm all for making the Games a challenge for the competitors, but I'd rather not wind up with my organs going into the Black Market."
For more details, see GAMES on Page B3
What happened now? I don't watch the news anymore.
7394174
There was a massive terrorist attack in France. A terrorist drove a truck through a crowd at a fireqorks display, then got out and starting shooting people, killed 80-something people before the police shot him, so I'm told.
7394366
Again!?
7393612
when the second half of season 6 gets underway.
7394523 No, I'm actually two behind on what's come out already,
Twilight: "If you're wondering why I'm not in jail right now, I passed a law saying that whoever investigated my messages had to investigate my nether parts first. Shockingly, there were no takers."
YES! I was really hoping that Pokemon Go would be referenced in this book at some point
7394414 It is kinda their thing.
7393650
No, the good things enormously, massively, overwhelmingly outnumber the bad things.
The ability of the bad things to attract our attention is even more enormous, massive, and overwhelming.
A winner is you!
I could see that as being the real reason.
Well, I've been waiting to see how long it would take before I ran into a 'Nice' joke, and here it is.