Starlight Glimmer must work alongside some unlikely allies in order to prevent a terrible threat from seizing power over a weakened Equestria.

I don't know what I am, but I know where I am. Equestria, magical cartoon utopia. A place that's basically a dream come true.

So why is the only thing I care about finding another drink?

Art by ExoticEon

Featured June 4, 2021. Thanks y'all!
Again on June 17!
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And so on and so forth.

After living with Nightmare Moon for a while (due to extenuating circumstances), Anon starts to notice a few oddities in her behaviour. Ones he understands all too well, and ones that are fresh on the mind.

In an effort to help her before it gets any worse, he drags her out of Ponyville for a night to talk about life's problems. And maybe cuss out her sister once or twice.

In the beginning, The Great Weaver brought together the world, from the mountains to the forests. Stitching it together, the Great Tapestry connects all living and nonliving things.

The Changelings found themselves especially connected to this Tapestry. Legend says that the first Changelings fell through the world as it was woven together, only to be caught on the First Weave beneath it all.

But what happens when something else is caught in the Weave?

Prince Phasmatodea, son of Queen Chrysalis, remembers what it was like before he hatched. He remembers being a human. He remembers dying. And he fully intends on avoiding another death.

But being gifted a new life does not matter when one failure, one false step, will lead to your untimely demise in the Changeling hive, for Prince Phasma must survive his toughest adversary from the start: Mother Dearest.

Cover art as of 1/18/21 by Nixworld

If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

Monster attacks. Crime. Illegal hallucinogens made from electric fruit.

They say things didn't use to be like this. They say things were different, before Luna came back 60 years ago, but Detective Hard "Hardy" Boiled of the Detrot Police Department has never known any world other than that demarcated by the seedy streets of his beloved decaying metropolis; a world in which the coroners sing and dance, surveillance bugs have personality disorders, and the Chief of Police is a scarier entity than most of the eldritch things the city attracts.

The grey unicorn who turned up dead outside the posh High Step Hotel seemed like just another case, but her missing horn is the pointy tip of a very large and nasty iceberg. It's up to Hardy and his friends - a rejected monster hunter, a psychic cab driver, and an underground antiques heir - to find out what’s going on in an investigation that promises to stick more than a cupcake into the very eye of Detrot.

Especially if Hardy has anything to say about it.

By Popular Demand, there is now a Patreon

Additional editing by coandco Sig_Awesome, Hinds, Clint, and Raccoon!
Featured on EQD - 5 Stars!
Cover art by MisterMech (http://mistermech.deviantart.com/)
Now with TVTropes page here!