Jenny's Battle Against the Lord of Chaos pt. 2
I barely had time to yell as I suddenly found myself in the air, above what looked like a tree, and then instantly having the base of my horn smack against a small branch with all my weight behind it. With a great many snapping branches, and the oddest smell of onion and wet dog, I found myself on my stomach, on the ground somewhere.
I rubbed my head and rolled to my back. His rule had been broken. He'd caused pain. I fucking won. That said, for dropping me through a tree he deserved that stupid fang knocked out of his face.
"Oh you wanna fucking fight, you rat bastard? Show yourself and I'll shove your scraggly toothed head so far up your ass you can eat lunch twice!" I shouted.
Of course he didn't respond. Or even show.
Asshole.
"Son of a bitch, that hurt." I whispered out loud, burying my muzzle in my hooves. I didn't feel any blood on my head, and didn't taste any, so injuries were likely just superficial.
"Are you okay?" The voice of a foal came from right beside me. I'd guess filly, but it sounded young enough I couldn't really tell.
"Oh sure." I responded, rubbing my muzzle and trying to cool off. I didn't need to scare any kids. "Just picking a fight with the Lord of Chaos. Maybe some head trauma. Or internal bleeding. Normal Tuesday."
“Is he still here now?” The filly asked.
“Who?” I asked absentmindedly. I was more distracted by what felt like a chipped tooth near the back of my mouth.
“The one that injured you." The filly tried again. “Is he still here? Are we in danger?”
“No.” I shook my head, figuring it wasn't a chipped tooth. My secondary incisors had poked out at the back of my mouth. “At least I don’t think so.”
"How are you feeling? Pain? Nausea?”
"I'm not concussed, thanks for aski-" I turned to address this kid who was trying to play doctor with me. When I finally realized what, or rather who, I was looking at, I could swear my heart skipped several beats. "Uh, scratch that, concussed is back on the table."
Staring back at me was a familiar looking filly with a green coat, green eyes, and a black mane. The same colors and mane style I'd seen in so much fan-created artwork.
Anonfilly.
I couldn't move. I couldn't think. All she was missing was the question mark tramp stamp, and she'd be a dead ringer for Anonfilly.
What did this mean? Did Discord poof in a design I knew to fuck with me? Did this filly actually look completely normal, but Discord did some shit with my eyes to make me see things?
Was this pony previously a person? Was she even real?
"What's, uh… what's your name?" I choked out.
"Green." The filly replied, looking me up and down in a way that showed a hidden panic. Or maybe just wondering why a kirin fell out of the sky. That'd be fair too.
I should play this safe as possible until I learn more.
My throat made a sound I'd never heard it make before. "Uh, hi Green. I'm… Sunny Meadows."
Green simply nodded knowingly. “You’re a long way from home, Sunny. Did the Lord of Chaos send you here?”
One question. One question could put all my existential terror to bed. And who cared if I sounded a bit crazy?
"This question might sound insane," I took several deep breaths. "But have you ever heard of something called 'the internet'?"
Green's eyes widened to the side of dinner plates. The side of her mouth twitched into a small smile for just a moment.
“Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time.” She answered evenly.
“Oh." I grunted. That was… promising. But I had to make sure. "And by chance, do you also come from a world of featherless bipeds?"
“There’s a story of an ancient philosopher who presented a plucked chicken and exclaimed ‘Behold, a man!’” Green chuckled. “You know of Earth then? Are you from there?”
I think my heart stopped. The only time ponies ever used "earth," it was used exclusively in front of "pony" to describe the race. They'd only ever referred to the planet as Equus.
That meant Green was human.
I didn't even try to fight the crazy smile that forced itself upon my face.
"Yes! I knew humans were real, and I wasn't crazy!" I spouted, noting idly how much I sounded like the fandom interpretation of Lyra. "Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Jenny, and I have no idea how I got to Equestria."
“Did you tell anypony about being a human?” Green asked evenly.
"Yeah, the nurses, my foster family." I shrugged.
“How did that go for you?” Green arched an eyebrow.
"Oh, well apparently humans have all been dead for thousands of years, so I got some weird looks. I got a lot more crap for being stuck in here with Sunny." I tapped the side of my head. I mean, if I had cottoned onto an already existing creature, figures Green would have too. "Do you… also have a headmate?"
Speaking of the devil, Sunny piped up. "You uh, seem like you kinda know her. You're telling me you're both time traveling ghosts from the same species?"
"It looks that way!" I mentally responded.
“So, this is a Planet of the Apes situation?” Green piped in. “I haven’t seen evidence of that myself... but then again I haven’t read much history.”
“What did they tell you when you asked about humans?” I inquired. "Or are you going straight up anonymous in this bitch?"
“I’m following the Prime Directive.” Green responded with a half smile. “I don’t want to interfere with the natural sequence of events.”
Eh, I wouldn't choose a nerd to be stuck with, but beggars can't be choosers. As long as she's human, I don't care what kind of person she was.
"What is that, a RoboCop reference?" I chuckled. "Ooh! Have you figured out how to do magic yet? Sunny can do some but I have no idea how to make this dumb thing work." I flicked at my horn. "Can't figure out the tail part either."
I will admit I was getting a bit hyper with the revelation that I was real, and so were humans, and I met another one and… I mean shit, could you blame me?
“Star Trek, actually.” Green's face twisted into a small frown. “I haven’t figured out magic yet, but I’m working on it. Twilight gave me some books.”
So she knew Twilight. Was this an important pony, casually getting books from the ruler of the entire nation? Looking around, it looked like we were in Sweet Apple Acres, so I guess that would make sense.
“What about your headmate, does she know magic?” I pressed.
“Did you have ‘headmates’ before you came to Equestria?” Green deflected my question.
"Nope, I was just a perfectly sane fresh-faced alcoholic officer in the Army." I let out a small laugh.
“So when you say headmate... what do you mean exactly?" Green asked slowly, as if talking to a chi-
Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense.
“Did Discord put multiple humans into that one kirin body?”
"What?" I arched an eyebrow at her. Guess Green didn't have a headmate. Guess there were multiple ways to make it to pony land.
"No. Sunny is the kirin calf that this body belonged to. Bodies don't just poof into existence outta nowhere." I scoffed, then immediately regretted it. Who was I to blow off fantastical magical bullshit when I literally lived in a cartoon? "Nah, from what I understand, she already had a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, er, Multiple Personality Disorder for if you're not in the know, before I showed up, then uh. I popped into existence. After jumping off a train and breaking my foreleg. Fun times."
I mean neither Sunny or I were actually technically diagnosed with it, but eh, semantics.
Green took a moment to process the situation. I could almost hear the gears grinding in her brain.
“You need medical attention.” She stated. “Can you walk?”
I rolled my eyes and waved her off with a hoof. "Relax dude, I can patch myself up fine. Didn't study nursing in college for four years to not be able to handle a tiny bump. I'm not concussed, nothing broke, we're good."
I didn't mention I'd had enough concussions to be somewhat familiar with the experience. Rugby team, oorah.
“You said you had head trauma and internal bleeding.” Green straightened up. “And you know nothing about this new body.”
Oh man, she was just a bundle of joy. Trust me kid, I know my way around head injuries.
"My guy, have you not ever heard of joking?" I relaxed against a nearby tree, before remembering in Anonfilly stories the filly usually was a male as a human. "Uh, girl? New body and all, what were you before you came here?"
“You were in the army, right?” Green pressed, taking a step closer. “What’s your assessment of our chances if Discord comes back? We need to get back to Ponyville, preferably near one of the elements.”
Alright, me and my question will go fuck ourselves, apparently. The most ridiculous part of this was that Green thought Discord was actually a malevolent entity, instead of a manchild who threw fits until he got his way.
"My 'assessment-'" I made air quotes with my forehooves, sinking down the tree, scratching my back like a bear. "Is that he's just a big asshole who treats life as a dick measuring contest. He's no real threat."
I could tell Green was fighting a grimace.
“So what’s your plan then? Stay out here in the woods? ” Green asked stupidly. “Are you hiding from someone?”
"Did…" I couldn't help but flash the face I usually reserved for my brother when he was being retarded. "Did you not see me fall through that tree? Discord's been fucking with me all day and just said this could 'cause some real chaos'."
"I don't really understand fully what's going on here, but she looks stressed. You should give her a compliment. Smoky says that often helps. Tell her I think her mane is pretty." Sunny pitched in with her childish relentless positivity.
"Sunny says hi by the way, and that she likes your mane."
I could tell Green's thoughts were racing, pinging around her head at a million miles per hour. Her head was slightly bowed, her eyes racing all over the ground.
“Alright, well let’s go back to Ponyville anyways then.” Green straightened with a start. “Assuming you have nothing better to do.”
"Sure." I shrugged, making my way to my hooves. "So you been here long? You said you met Twilight, so you've already been to Canterlot? Was it full of snooty dicks?"
“Haven’t been to Canterlot yet.” Green responded flatly.
Wait...
I stopped walking. "Wait… Twilight did take Sunbutt's throne, right?"
“Not yet.” Green responded without stopping. “Try to keep the future knowledge under your hat. We’re somewhere around season five from what I can tell.”
Season five? I know the show went on for at least seven seasons, and the way I figured it I was either living in the last season or after the show.
But that would mean...
"Motherfu-" I swore, biting my lip. "That slimy motherfucker sent me back into the past! Apparently Twilight took over Celestia's throne like, a year ago where I come from. Hell, I stopped watching in the middle of season three so I didn't even know she was a princess."
“Great. So now there’s time travel involved.” Green didn't bother hiding the frustration in her voice this time.
Well, not necessarily. "Maybe not. What base do the ponies count in? Decimal?"
“They count in base ten.” Green shrugged. “I thought it was a little odd, but apparently the ancient Pegasopilans counted one on each hoof and then one on each of their six primary feathers. In modern times all ponies use that system.”
I blew out slowly and stared at the ground. "Well, with that in mind, I have good news and bad news. Good news is that this isn't necessarily time travel. Bad news is… multiverse theory is a bitch. In my Equestria, ponies count in base four."
“We should keep walking, I want to get back to town before I freak out.” Green definitely had an edge in her voice now.
"Well have you tried not being a little bi-" I started. "Sorry. I mean, why? My foster family won't recognize me and I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb. If Discord dropped me off here he's probably gonna pick me back up. And a random kirin in town will cause the chaos he wanted."
Green didn't respond as I raced to catch up with her.
"Then again," I reasoned. "If my time is limited here, I do want to spend it with the only other human I've met. So fuck it, lead away."
“Jenny. I don’t have a headmate.” Green burst out of nowhere, looking like she was about to cry. “I don’t know whose body this was, but if what you say is true, I’ve effectively killed them. I - I didn’t tell anyone-”
I cut her off with a hoof and a roll of my eyes. "Woah there dude, Sunny already had DiD before I came into her life. We're in a fucking cartoon, and you look like that 4chan ponified pony. Besides, even if you do have a headmate, maybe they're just dormant or really shy. It took me a good while to discover Sunny was there and that's only because she had a panic attack." I scratched my chin. "Or maybe a PTSD episode. She refuses to talk about it."
“This isn’t just a cartoon anymore. These are real people with thoughts and emotions.” Green argued.
"Or we're both delusional." I chuckled. Trying to ignore the fact that it was completely possible I was hallucinating Equestria and Green both. "You found another human. Lighten up. This is the time for shots and partying, if only we weren't stuck as kids."
“I have to get you out of here and safe.” Green's voice warbled. “Then I can go explain everything and have them erase my consciousness or whatever. I don’t deserve to be here.”
Oh hell no. That wasn't gonna fucking fly.
This one motherfucker was the only other of my species in this entire world and wanted to just throw her life away? Not that I couldn't understand that, but I wasn't losing the only other human left.
I felt the fire coursing through my veins as I grabbed her tail with my teeth and dragged her back.
"Nuh-uh, bitch." I snarled, my voice taking on the Nirik tone. "You are the only other human I have and probably will see in this stupid cartoon world, and I am not letting you go kill yourself."
“So what, you’re going to stop me?” Green yelled back angrily. “You’d hurt this child’s body, let them suffer being possessed by me just so you have someone to talk to?”
What, that was her best attempt? Weak. "If it comes down to it. I've done worse to Sunny."
The words just came spilling out. I had done worse to Sunny. What I'd done to her was unforgivable. And here I was, willing to do it again to another child.
I felt the power leave my body. My vision met the ground. "I mean… I didn’t ever hurt her on purpose… Sorry, you're the only thing that's keeping me from the existential crisis I've been fighting back since I got here. And who's to say you can't coexist with your headmate even if you do have one? Who's to say you have one? I mean, I coexist with Sunny. I'm helping push her out of her shell and past some trauma. How did you get here?"
“It’s not worth it, Jenny.” Green tried reasoning. “If the only way we can exist is by possessing the bodies of innocent children... That isn’t what a headmate is. This isn’t right.”
Of course she was right. I'd done no real favors for Sunny the entire time I'd been here. Sure, I helped push her out of her shell, but I don't doubt Golden and Script could have done the same. As much as she cared about me, I was poison to her.
I could completely understand Green's perspective because I've had the same thoughts for the last few weeks. Just because I was trying to be better, didn't mean I deserved another chance.
"Wait!" I straightened out, an epiphany suddenly sprouting to mind. "You said Twilight still lives here, right? We can find out if you have another identity in your head! All we need is me, somebody we know has the condition, and a control group! Twilight probably has something that can scan brains, and we can see which one you're closer to! And if you do have other identities, we can go from there."
In my excitement, I almost nosebooped Green. That was weird. I furiously backpedaled, trying to think of an excuse. "Sorry, sometimes Sunny's mannerisms and emotions rub off on me."
“Perfect, let’s go.” Green responded emotionlessly, walking away.
It was all I could do to keep a bounce out of my step. Once Green found out she was being melodramatic, oh the fun we could have. I snuck a sideways look at her, brooding as we walked, and decided a distraction was probably in order.
"You don't talk much about yourself, do you?" I chuckled. "You're almost as quiet as Sunny. What do you got going up in that head of yours, Green? And what's your real name?"
“I-” Green responded quietly, gritting her teeth. “I’m not a strong person, Jenny. I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”
Well that's not an answer.
“What’s your name?” I asked again. It was the only thing I could think of asking to get her off this stupid pity train.
“Doesn’t matter.” Green moped. “I’m nobody. Just an echo of someone who used to exist.”
I couldn't help but roll my eyes again. I fixed her with a kind smile. "Okay drama queen. Ten minutes and we'll find out you're making a big fit over nothing. Do yourself a favor and save the angst till after we find out, ‘kay?"
“Sure.” She shrugged.
"Alright, echo." I laughed. I needed to appear calm, help set a relaxed atmosphere around this anxious individual. "Tell me about yourself. What's your job, or are you still in school? Shit, are you even an adult?"
“I was a nurse.” Green replied. “Or at least the original me was.”
"Fuck yeah, sister." I beamed, bumping flanks with her. Nursing might not be the hardest area of study, but I did appreciate somebody else who knew how much bullshit was involved in the degree. "I studied nursing. Was gonna be a doc in the Army. Then… I dunno. Got family? A husband? Kids?"
“I had a family.” Green gave me another evasive answer. “Hopefully I’m not actually gone from Earth. They wouldn’t take it well if I just disappeared. How about you?”
"Pretty sure I don't have kids." I joked. "Had a girlfriend. Younger brother. That's about it."
Well, I mean, not to say there wasn't a recent scare… But assuming my old body was gone, well, I didn't need to worry about that anymore.
"I mean, then again, I've made a lot of drunk mistakes, woke up with a lot of strangers, so hey, who knows? At least if my human body is gone I don't need to worry about having those leeches growing in me. Thank fuckin' god, right?"
Yeah, joking about it would make it alright. Just gotta keep with that mentality. I mean… not like I cared. Fetus would have been less than a week old. Not old enough to realize what happened. No sweat.
“Never did any of that stuff myself.” Green replied in a monotone.
"Asexual or just permavirgin?" I forced out a chuckle. Yeah, move on from that topic. That was good.
“Well, I wasn’t trying, if that’s what you’re asking.” Green responded. So yeah, could be ace. I could respect it. “People are scary enough without bringing romantic relationships into it.”
I nodded. "Valid. But sex don't need no romantic relationship. You're a nurse, you can probably get a one night stand pretty easy. Or find another chick if you wanted to munch some carpet. I do know lesbians are annoying hard to find though."
I mean my ex-girlfriend literally found me and basically started the relationship, but god, was it harder to find another woman who didn't take my flirts as mere compliments before her.
Then again, Green never did say if they were originally male. I guess her not correcting me was a valid sign, but it didn't really matter either way.
“Heh. I sometimes wish it wasn’t so easy.” Green laughed, confirming she was a female. "Trying to turn someone down without hurting their feelings is a nightmare.”
Man, this person was the definition of a "beta".
“Not on you to worry about others feelings. You risk your own happiness for others then you're a doormat." I responded casually.
“I guess I’m a doormat then.”
Eh, at least she owns it.
Looking up and seeing the same garish purple and blue structure I'd still not gotten used to seeing, I idly commented. "Hey, this Ponyville has that ugly crystal thing too. Who thought this was a good design choice?"
“It grew from a seed of the Tree of Harmony... or something like that.” Green explained in her usual lifeless tone. “Makes an ugly toy set for sure.”
How toyetic can you get?
Wait, what the hell is a Tree of Harmony? Do trees grow castles here?
"The Tree of Harmony?" I scoffed. "What, did they plant the fucking elements in the ground?"
“Not exactly.” Green finally responded with some emotion, giving a small chuckle. “Though it turns out that Elements of Harmony do grow on trees.”
I let out a loud laugh to try and persuade her to respond with emotion more. "Good one. Now uh, your universe, you lead the way. I've never been inside."
Green didn't walk with any confidence. She almost seemed like she had concluded she was walking to her own doom and had long ago come to terms with it. I flashed back to her acting so depressed about her potentially never-existing headmate, and saw a slight shudder rippling through her coat.
She didn't remind me much of Jakey. But still, maybe they needed the same thing to drag them out of the dumps. I had to try.
I bumped shoulders with Green. "Hey, doom and gloom, what's something fun we can do after we find out you're worrying about nothing?"
"Once we’re done...” Green slowed slightly as she thought. “Once we’re done we can go have a drink and laugh about how stupid I was. I know where Applejack keeps the hard cider.”
"Oh you had me at drin-" I started enthusiastically. Shit, drinking with the only other human? That sounds like an awesome time! But… damn, I had already learned my lesson about drinking here, and how it impacted Sunny. I couldn't be strong enough to refuse on my own, so I had to be strong for Sunny. "God, I would love that more than anything, believe me… but I'm trying to stay sober. For Sunny. I already… did enough damage with my addictions. So please, don't tell me where it is no matter how much I ask. My will is weaker than my alcoholism."
I could feel a wave of warmth emanating from the mind room.
"Hey, proud of you for that." Sunny told me. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn't hide the smile that gave me.
“That’s why we have to do this.” Green announced, straightening up again. “We’re too much. Putting all the emotional baggage of an adult into a child’s mind? Even if we tried to help, it would never be enough.”
"Just like Golden says," Sunny chipped in. "Ponyfeathers. I wouldn't have made it without you, and I'd rather be with you through the dumb hard stuff than see you poof away. Like King and Orange. You're my bestest sister. And maybe this Green can be too, if she's like you!"
"Aw, love you too, kiddo." I told her, wishing I could give her a big hug.
Giving a sideways glance at Green, I finally responded. "Sunny says she'd rather be with me through the struggles than to see me go. Says she couldn't bear to lose another family member. She also wants to meet you… well I guess she already met you, but to talk to you when this is over."
“She’s frightened.” Green met my gaze for a moment, before returning to staring at the ground. “I can empathize, but do you really think that hiding and letting someone else take over her life is what’s best for her in the long term?”
"She sure as hell seemed to think so." I chuckled. I could feel a little wave of embarrassment from Sunny. "But… maybe a better person than me could be what she needs. That's if they can get rid of us anyway. I asked the nurse in my universe and she said they couldn't separate us or get rid of me. I mean, it's not like holding a cross at us and shouting 'The power of Christ compels you!' will do anything to us. Probably."
“They could shoot us with the Elements of Harmony.” Green offered. “If that doesn’t remove possession, then I guess we’re stuck and we’ll have to go back to Discord.”
Huh, real optimist here.
"Well, guess we're about to find out." I muttered, following Green through one more turn and door to see a gigantic library. Like, bigger than the house I lived in. "Looks like we're here."
The library naturally followed the color scheme of the rest of the castle but… Hot damn, that ceiling must be at least sixty meters off the ground. At least three quarters of that was bookcase. Above that, green banners and what looked like a stained glass window showing a dark blue bare tree over a light green background.
Well, nobody ever said Twilight had a knack for interior design.
Speak of the devil, Twilight was sitting behind some sort of desk. The sign on it said… well, “Returns.” In English. Definitely a different universe.
Anyway, Twilight, who looked slightly taller than all the adults I've seen this far, saw us enter. She instantly recognized Green, flashing her a quick smile, then she noticed me.
For a moment we stared at each other, Twilight studying me with her head cocked to the side, and me afraid to move. What if this Twi- no, no she had to act like she did in the show. Green had implied she'd seen the whole show and didn't say she acted off.
Green approached the desk and sat down unsurely in front of it, squirming slightly. I let out an audible gulp, then forced some confidence into my movements and I walked toward her. She could handle this. She had to. Shit, what would I even say?
“Twilight, I haven’t been honest with you.” Green started, nervousness evident in her voice. Twilight turned her attention to the filly. “I don’t have memory loss, I’m not a pony, and this isn’t my body.”
As she spoke, I made my way to her side, mentally reciting what Sunny had taught me about adjusting body heat. Choose something… somebody I'm passionate about. People I love and would take a bullet for. But this time I didn't think of Maria. I knew I still loved her, but there was too much baggage there. I thought of Sunny. I thought of Noi. I thought… of dad. And with that, I felt a sudden, continuous burst of warmth erupt from my chest, making its way across my entire body, from tail tip to the end of my horn. Along with the warmth came courage, and hoping I could pass that on, I sat close enough to Green so our coats brushed against each other.
“Aha!” Twilight said excitedly. “I knew it! What’s your world like? Did you come through a magic mirror? Who’s your friend here? Is that what you used to look like?”
Seems like I couldn't pass courage on like I could radiate heat. Bummer. As Green struggled to speak, I took over. "Nope. I'm a kirin. Blame Discord."
Wait, she was a princess, right? I couldn't see much of her body, as it was hidden behind the desk, but looking into her curious purple eyes, it was impossible to see anything other than the adorable nerd character I had fallen so in love with when I watched the show.
“This is someone else’s body, Twilight.” Green finally managed. “A child’s body, that I displaced the consciousness of.”
"That's what she thinks." I clarified, giving her a small smile. "Not knows."
“And if I’m right, my friend here has done the same thing." Green continued. "But the owner of the body still speaks in her head.”
"Okay, no." I rolled my eyes, realizing very quickly that probably wasn't a good thing to do in front of a princess. Eh, fuck it. I couldn't accept the idea of Twilight being all uppity. "I am an alter. The original identity of this body has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The original, Sunny, had it for years prior to me."
Well, technically that wasn't true. The nurse said herself that it was similar, but not quite like the disorder. Fuck it, it's an easier explanation and I can get away with that since I looked like a kid.
"Green has had none of those experiences and still thinks she killed somebody. And yes, we were both from the same species, which is a different species, prior to-" I waved a forehoof in front of us. "-this."
“That’s not how DiD works." Green asserted. "Jenny has specific knowledge of my world which the original would have no way of knowing, which means she’s not an alter, she’s a separate consciousness that’s somehow possessing this body."
Well, alright, split hairs I guess.
I smiled, thinking of Noi's reaction to learning that. "My little foster sister calls me a tapeworm because of that. It's kinda adorable. But I can switch who's fronting with Sunny at any time. And yeah, I do have knowledge of Green's world, but this world has magic out the wazoo, so…" I finished my super eloquent thought with a shrug.
“Help me, Twilight.” Green begged. “I don’t know how to undo this, but I want to do the right thing, so just, get me out of here. I don’t care what happens to me, just help whoever’s body this is.”
I chewed my lower lip. I mean, there's no way Twilight would just erase Green, even if she could… right? And she had a crazy amount of magic knowledge and talent, so she had to be able to put Green's mind at ease.
…Right?
Shaking my head and putting on a façade, I spoke up. "Princess, what miss pity party is trying to ask is, one, can you take scans of our head, to see if she has the same condition as me, and two, see if you can find out where she came from?"
I turned to Green. I had to reassure her. For both of our sakes. "If you don't have a headmate, then it's just you up there. 86'ing your personality won't do anybody any favors, it will just kill you."
Green didn't look reassured. “I told someone they could send me to Equestria, make me a mare, but I didn’t know it would steal somepony else’s body. If that’s what happened, even if there’s no way to bring them back, I don’t deserve to be here.”
“Girls.” Twilight responded gently, but with a slight edge to her voice. “This is a lot, I think we should take this somewhere more private.”
Twilight's horn lit up, and a moment later I felt like I was being squeezed through a hole the size of a quarter. I shook my head furiously before wrenching open my eyes and trying to take in the setting I was in.
But I couldn't, since my eyes were instantly drawn to the wings Twilight was currently rustling.
She had…
She has wings.
She was a unicorn and a pegasus. Like Celestia, Luna, and… the other pink one. Whatever her name was.
I could tell she was saying something, but I was too busy trying to ground myself. Just those wings alone revealed so much more about her. She was taller. Her horn was longer. She had some sort of… age to her. She was not the sarcastic, neurotic character who I liked more than almost anybody else in the show.
And then her horn and eyes started glowing. I'm not sure how I could tell, but I could see her eyes sweep over Green, and then me.
“Jenny does have two souls in her body - Green has only one.”
That confirmed it. I wasn't a delusion. I was real. Green didn't kill anybody. This was the best case scenario.
I let out a sigh of relief.
“Then... they’re gone?” Green spoke up, her voice and lower jaw both trembling. “I killed them.”
Twilight shook her head.
“This is your body, Green. If it had belonged to another soul at some point, I would be able to tell. Souls affect the body they’re inhabiting, just as the body influences the soul.”
The BEST case scenario!
"What did I tell you, dork?" I swatted Green's leg, barely hiding back a loud, mirthful giggle.
But far from looking relieved or happy, Green just seemed to deflate. She slumped down onto the princess-sized couch we were both sitting on and sighed.
“Alright then.”
“Come on Green, cheer up.” I tried to give her a sympathetic smile. “You’re your own pony! You didn’t kill anyone... You didn’t... want to get erased, did you?”
She didn't respond. Not that I could blame her.
"I think we both know what we need to do." Sunny thought to me. She gave off a little giggle, then cheekily added "Just imagine it's Noi and you're drunk again."
"Little brat." I responded with a chuckle. She gave me the feeling of a smile.
But she was right. I nodded at the floor. "If it helps, this will be at least as awkward for me as it will for you."
I thought back to dad. All the moments he stepped up, broke off that tough exterior, and helped little Jenny through a tough moment. Where he showed that real badasses could also be loving people with hearts of gold.
With my body warming up, I threw my forelegs around Green and pulled her close. I'm not really sure what the hug SOP is. Am I supposed to like, just sit here or… what?
“I’m so tired. I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” Green said, finally revealing the completely broken tone of voice she must have been hiding all this time. "I was ready, and I finally had a good enough cause to sacrifice myself for, so it wouldn’t be selfish. Now I have to go on.”
That hurt. It hurt even more considering in her position, I dunno if I'd even have the heart to say "go on".
Or the fortitude to actually go on.
But I had to be strong for her. That was my position in life. Be the stone. The foundation, so the others could blossom. Sunny, Jake, Noi. I was gonna do my best to drag all I could to happiness. Now Green was on that list.
"Yeah, you don't have a choice in the matter. You're sticking with me as long as I'm here." I felt my temperature rise just a slight bit warmer. "Now you're just gonna have to get used to living in a colorful utopia. Poor you."
A moment of silence passed and I figured I'd made the moment sufficiently awkward. I broke the hug. "That was probably too long, wasn't it? I'm not an experienced hugger."
“I’m sorry.” Green replied, not meeting my gaze. “I shouldn’t have burdened you with that. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about me.”
I spoke without thinking. "Too bad. I'm adopting you as my younger sister now. That being said, I do accept apologies in ice creams and fun activities. How about we get out of here before Discord takes me back?"
"Takes you back?" Twilight questioned. "Where?"
Well that was an explanation and a half… and I didn't really want to burn into time I could spend with Green. I fixed Twilight with a sheepish grin, once again my vision drew to her wings for a moment. "Uh, can we explain tomorrow?"
Twilight replied with a small frown and a nod.
"So uh… what now?" Green questioned.
I let out a loud laugh "It's a magical world, Green ol' buddy, let's go exploring!
I awoke to the feeling of being watched. My vision shot to the head of the bed, where Green was curled up happily in her blankets, sleeping.
My vision traveled to the foot of the bed, where I had been curled up on top of the sheets like a dog. Turns out you didn't really need blankets when you could adjust your own body temperature.
Still seeing nothing, I looked up, seeing two familiar uneven eyes looking down on me, with a coy smirk on his face.
"Discord." I spoke flatly.
Discord frowned. "You didn't cause as much chaos as I'd hoped. But I still had some fun. I'll have to visit you two more. That Green has some potential."
"Why yes," I put on a false happy tone. "I had a great visit, thanks for asking."
A small smile made his way to Discord's face. "You know what comes next, don't you, my delightful kirin protogeé?"
"I am not your protogeé." I rolled my eyes. "And I'm guessing you return me to Golden and Script?"
Discord nodded, lifting a paw.
"Wait." I blurted out. "Two things first."
Discord paused, eyeing me with interest.
"You knew we were both human." I stated. "Did you bring us to Equestria? And can you send us back to Earth?"
Discord hummed. "No, to both. I am the Lord of Chaos, but only have dominion over this reality, this multiverse. Maybe your own reality has its own immensely handsome draconequus that sent you here."
"And if it was you, you're not likely to tell me anyway, are you?" I monotoned.
Discord let out a laugh. "She can learn, after all!"
"And the second thing." I continued. "Is that I want to strike a deal with you."
"Ooh," Discord arched an eyebrow and leaned in closer. "I am interested. Do go on."
"Leave Green alone." I commanded, standing up. "She has enough to deal with as is. In return, I will let you come in and cause a little more chaos in my own life."
Discord scratched his chin with a third, previously unexisting arm. "Sounds good. For now, at least." He held out a paw to me to shake.
I looked around him to see his tail twisted like fingers.
"Discord." I responded flatly.
Discord let out another wild laugh, somehow not waking Green. He uncrossed his tail and I shook his lion paw.
"Besides. Now I know humans are real, so anything you do to me pales in comparison to the favor you did me." I replied with a smug grin.
"That's if you are sure it wasn't a dream." Discord smirked back.
"Wha-"
Discord snapped, and suddenly I burst up out of bed. I looked around quickly. Top bunk. Plastic stars. Blue blankets. I was back in Noi's room.
"Oh, you motherfu-"
Not pictured: Jenny waking up Sunny immediately and asking her if she remembered their adventure. Sunny merely said the entire day was kinda blurry.
Go check out Greenhorne's version of this in his Trust Once Lost story to get both his side of the story, and a special interaction between Green and Sunny! Not to mention Jenny complete DUNKING on Green.
So there's my two parter! Hope you enjoyed! I only have one question.
Was any of this canon?
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Even though this is just an April fools thing, I really think this is a cool idea (and I'm a sucker for co writing and crossovers like this).
I kinda wish you guys would expand in this and make it its own thing.
such a cool idea! i hope we can see green again one day!
Alondro points to the Jersey Devil, "What do you think?"
i.pinimg.com/originals/e2/37/f7/e237f7665701a1d96536378d74dfec91.jpg
When I saw both of your stories update I was thrilled, and then you started describing Green. I was like, "Hey, isn't that Gree— OH SHIT THEY'RE DOING A CROSSOVER!
" 
I read yours first, so time to go read Greenhorne's!
+132533622 points
11199202
Weird... the one I'm familiar with is more of a Batman knockoff:
mobygames.com/images/covers/l/182931-jersey-devil-playstation-front-cover.png
Bipedal, humanoid, has a devil tail... but otherwise normal looking. Not sure where he went after he foiled that mad scientist.
i love seeing coop fics! bonus points ontop of just more chapters in general!
damn
this april fool chapter is better than last couple of cannon chapters of this fic. likely because of protagonist's introspection on herself.
My high school's rugby motto was "Trample the weak; Step over the dead.". Yeah. If the opponent's team didn't have at least one broken limb after a match, it means our team was having a bad day.
Dang. Leeches? I'm sorry, Jenny, but that's just an awful thing to say.
Based on the context of the information of what Discord knows and what Green knows, Jenny and Sunny can conclude that it was not a dream due to existing information that Discord would not have known about human anatomy since it was apparent he just took whatever representation Jenny had originally and turned her into it. And since Jenny did not know portions of the anatomy discussed, the conclusion is that it was not a dream.
I really enjoyed these chapters, they were a great time
Interesting, I've never thought the possibility of Equestrias that speak different language.
I'm with Green on this one.
11199503 Discord could have been 'reformed', but it would take TIME to legitimize such an extreme character change. It needed careful planning and execution in the narrative, with a detailed exploration of Discord's history and origin.
Imagine if Vegeta had gotten punched once by Freeza and immediately decided he and Goku were bestest buddies. This is basically what the MLP writers did with Discord.
11196274
Absolute madman.
11196471
Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoy it!
11196508
11199604
I want to remind you that one of five stages of grief is anger. Another is denial. This, along with another part of Jenny's past I haven't revealed yet, is what's causing her to say this.
But also she doesn't like babies in general.
11197158
11198964
Discord made her a mad scientist with his magic.
Nah, kidding. Thanks. Fixed.
11199148
Sorry man. Unless I somehow stretch this story to another April fool's, which won't happen, it won't be a thing.
Also a lot of Green's readers are being a big jerk to him and I'm not putting him through that again.
11199295
Uh, what? Starlight has been redeemed for years already in my story. My story starts after the show ends.
11199382
11199433
11199483
I will admit I would be absolutely garbage at writing Discord, cringe or not. But from what I've seen of him post season six (not much, as I haven't seen most episodes after about midway of season six) he's still kinda the same. Manchild who throws fits when he isn't treated like the coolest guy in the room. Although he was pretty decent in To There and Back Again.
11199530
In Sounds of Silence AJ asks the kirin leader "do you speak ponish?"
So that's what I'm using as the name of the language. I've never heard Equish.
11199594
Mmmmm... I'd have to bring Discord back to turn Jenny into a human. So...
Guess you'll have to wait and find out.
11199600
My school didn't have a rugby team but my cousins did. Reading this comment just massively increased my respect for her.
11199617
Glad you enjoyed! And that's a fair argument.
11199737
Well that's more just because Green already had his story set up so they had English writing, and I was going off the text you might see in a poster in the show. Just kinda clicked together that way.
11199755
THAT'S what that sound effect is from? Damn.
11199827
If he took time to reform his character would be a lot better. Like, he had some moments of legit character growth like the whole fading away thing, but then those were just... Ditched. Shame.
11199963
I love crossovers when done right and I would like to see more interaction between Jenny and Green. Especially since I consider Jenny a positive influence for Green and vice versa.
11199973
Personally I'd be down for doing like, a side story that is just those two hanging out in an alternative side universe, going through the same shit Green had in his story but together, but I don't think Greenhorne'd be down for it.
11199963
I'm sure it'll be fine. I just won't post any future colab stuff on my story.
They'll have to come here if they want to read it.
11199988
But they could be dream buddies! Regardless I respect your decision
11199988
Like I said. I'm down. Shit is up to you.
11199963
Fair enough. I'm not criticizing you, by the way, I'm just reacting to Jenny as a character. I actually really like her dynamic with Sunny, and it's clear that Sunny is starting to wear off on her, so it's good to think that that part of Jenny might change throughout the story. Redemption and healing is an integral part of MLP, after all.
It's too bad this is a split what-if branch. Green could use a more relatable confidant.
Just binges this after finding out about is from true once lost. Cant wait for the next chapter
11199963 I am a biologist! I CAN REWRITE EVERYONE'S DNA!!
11200440
Green could for sure.
11200544
Life is chaotic so I can't promise when it will be, but it will come.
And there will be drama.
11201234
Alright Doctor Connors. Please don't turn us into lizards.
11201356 Uhm... about that.... *Mark Zuckerberg licks his eyeballs*
11199963
I cry every time. Would be down for a non-canon side story or something tho.
Also, looks like I need to go throw some fucking hands in Green’s comment section, because not only should fans not harass the writer*, they especially shouldn’t do so on an April Fool’s crossover chapter.
*At the very least, no author should be harassed because some people didn’t like the direction something went or who got together at the end, or other stupid shit like that. Now, if they get harassed because they’re unabashedly a bigot (looking at you, J.K. Fucking TERF.), that’s a completely different story. But that’s not the case here, nor do I think that’s the case very often.
11201798
I'm stuck between saying fight for Green, and don't start shit because I know he doesn't want to see his comment section turn into a flamewar. But yes, I do think they're being unreasonable.
And agreed. Fuck J.K. Rowling.
The movies were better than the books anyway.
Even if it WAS just a dream, it's still something Jenny could use to have Fluttershy force Discord to separate them. But that's assuming that it was canon at all, even if just as a dream.
Also Green was originally a guy, unless that's been since retconned in Trust Once Lost.
ok the last two chapters are a wiled ride and i loved it.
some how i am hopping we get to see Green in this story more often she really needs a friend.
I thought for a moment you decided to totally clasterfuck the story.
Anyway, now that I'm at current last update, gotta say.
Totally unoriginal, dirty minded story with substantial amount of cringe. Well written though. Can make you smile. Not for me.
11208244
Glad you liked it. I'll take "well written". Works for me.
Have fun wherever life takes you next.
11204762
Yeah but would Jenny want to even see Fluttershy? No.
Also no that's not a ret-con. Green is a dude as a human. Jenny was just calling Green a female because she assumed.
11205288
Glad you liked it. Green won't reappear in this story, but maybe someday there will be a collab story between us.
11208623
Not wanting to see Fluttershy? I don't understand that at all, is there some kind of implication I'm not getting? What I'm saying is that if the April Fools chapter was just a dream Jenny & Sunny had then they can do something about their situation. If Discord knows that Jenny is real, that means he could confirm it to others.
Unless those two chapters weren't even dreams, they have no reason to not try and get Discord to fix and/or separate them. Not unless they want to be like Green and refuse to ever try and solve things.
11209436
Nah, that was more of referring to her meeting of Pinkie and a line of thinking meeting Twi in this chapter. She doesn't wanna interact with main characters that might not match her memory of the show.
I mean she also just doesn't like Fluttershy as a character, too. I mean, design wise, yes. That and her character changes like Flutterbitch and flutterhulk, yes. That led to the comment in part one.
But not her character.
11214544
I promise you Autumn Blaze is fine.
.....
It was a BUCKING Dream?!?@
11218659
Hmm... Was it?
I like where this is going.~
-Rub
An outstanding crossover from both sides. The fun thing about the multiverse is that this is definitely canon somewhere. Thank you both for it.
This is a very entertaining story. Do you know when the next chapters coming out?
11239829
Working on them now. Won't be out this week or anything because I'm a busy Jinzou.
11240248
Faire enough. Just take as long as you need for it.
11250158
Suffer.
Kidding, glad you like them. Thanks for the comment.
11254408
Teenagers.
There was also the cinnamon challenge, jugging, and a whole other host of issues.
11201657
I lost the bet. I thought he was a robot.
11270731
Could be both.
Filthy synths.
11263966
It's sad how little kirin are used, both here and in the show.