Exordium
The first thing I noticed was the pain. My entire torso and both my arms were throbbing intensely with pain.
The second thing I noticed was the train whistle in the distance, but that couldn’t be right. I lived miles away from any train track.
My eyes snapped open.
Well, there were definitely train tracks right next to me. Beyond them, I could see a dark, unending forest.
Oh shit. I had no idea where I was.
Okay, okay. Don't panic. Panicking solves nothing.
On the rare occasion, I’d have fainting spells and would be confused and disoriented when I woke. That's probably what was going on now. Yeah, I just had to wait a minute and I'd remember what I was doing here.
I was on my stomach, so I reached out to push myself up into a sitting position.
The plan changed when a sudden wave of agony shot through me as soon as my left arm touched the ground.
I tightly squeezed my jaw shut and pushed through the pain, successfully sitting up and instantly feeling over my left arm with my right. I followed the bottom part of the arm up, and there was a space where I felt the bone end, and below that, more bone. I could tell that the bone wasn't sticking out of the skin, so that was good.
Fuck. Closed fracture. At least I think so. I've never broken a bone before.
Taking a moment to brace myself, I took a deep breath and looked down at my arm to see the damage.
It was about then that I realized a broken bone was not my only worry, because staring back at me was an off-white cloven hoof.
I take it back! Definitely time to panic!
My breath quickened as my heart pounded in my ears. A chill ran up my spine and I feel I would have seen goosebumps if my arms weren't covered in fur. I wasn't supposed to have hooves!
A quick look over to my right showed another hoof, and then looking down, two hind legs of the same color.
My right han—er, my right hoof shot over to my face, feeling around. My nose was long and cylindrical. My ears weren't where they were meant to be. My eyes took up what felt like at least a third of my head!
I had a muzzle.
I had giant ears.
Holy fuck, I was a goat!
Wait, no. My ears were too high up on my head to be a goat.
I was a horse!
Oh fuck, okay. Logical explanation for this?
Oh wait. That was a stupid question. I went to facepalm, but a sharp pain washed across my face as I smacked my hoof against it.
Ow. Hooves are hard.
So I was a different species, in a completely unfamiliar environment. I woke up alone and can see no sign of civilization other than the train tracks. I mean, that alone should make clear what’s going on.
I was in a dream. Either that or somebody snuck some powerful drugs into me somehow. And considering I was feeling pain, I was thinking it might have been the latter, but after a moment of consideration, I was leaning toward the former.
I had never taken any hard drugs and had no idea what you felt like on them, but my head felt remarkably clear, and having had much experience drinking, I knew depressants gave you some sort of foggy sensation in your head. Besides, I had no idea if you could actually feel pain in a dream.
So that was a thing. I was either drugged or dreaming. Regardless, I had to figure something out.
I looked down to check out the rest of my new form. Yup, body of a white-ish horse, so that lended credence to the whole "dream" idea. Okay. I was in the body of a cartoonish hor-
Holy shit. I was a pony. As in MLP-style cartoon pony. I had stopped watching the show like four years ago, yet I was having a dream where I was a pony.
Well, I had never tried lucid dreaming, but I tried willing my foreleg to mend itself.
Nothing happened.
Well, shit.
Okay, to hell with it. I needed to find somebody and needed to get out of here while still asleep. My only problems were I had no idea where I was, where to go, or how far I could get with a fucked up leg.
Moments passed before I made up my mind.
Fuck it. Worth a shot.
I put my weight on my forelegs and clambered to my fee—to my hooves. I let out a low hiss as a throb of agony came from my broken leg when I put pressure on it. That made me flex my muscles, which only got worse as the muscles pulled on the broken bone.
I managed to stand up, putting all three good hooves on the ground, cradling my injured leg against my chest.
Okay, so I was a quadruped now; I had to walk differently. If I recall correctly, it was one leg, opposing hind leg, then the same side, but the foreleg, then the last leg. Which was great in theory, but one of my legs was out. So much for that idea.
I limped forward a couple steps by just throwing the front of my body out, then stepping forward with my hind legs. It felt awkward, and there was probably a way more efficient way to do it, but oh well. I was used to just two legs.
And then a sudden thought struck me.
There were a lot of fanfictions about humans being transported to Equestria, but they were aged down, the opposite gender, and, well, poofed into ponies.
Holding my breath and fearing the worst, I peered between my hind legs.
No dick.
Oh thank god; at least that part stayed the same. My dream was a little creative.
As for changing age?
"Uhm, test."
I winced as my voice came out extremely high-pitched. Okay, so I sounded like a child. That’s new.
I limped over to the train tracks, a constant throb coming from my injured leg, and tried gauging my size based on that.
Yep, I was small.
So I was a filly. Based on how high my voice was, I was also pre-pubescent. I wonder what my dream was trying to tell me with that.
I paused for a moment to take in my surroundings. Off to my right, there was a cliff. A jagged rock outcropping on my side pointing in the direction I was facing caught my attention first. I limped over to it, my broken leg sending out waves of pain every time my other foreleg hit the ground.
I made it over to the edge of the cliff and saw another cliff, facing the opposite way, maybe thirty feet away. Below me was a drop of at least two hundred feet. Large holes dotted the rocky side of the other cliff. Wasn’t this area featured in an episode before? Something about Rainbow Dash trying to get a pet. Ghastly Gorge, I think it was called. That meant I was close to Ponyville. And if I was close to Ponyville, then that forest-y area now off to my left must be the Everfree Forest. Which meant danger.
I didn't want to deal with timberwolves or Poison Joke or… whatever else the show had put in that death trap.
Following the train tracks it was. I had no idea how far it was from the nearest town, and it was going to suck limping that far, but hell, what other choice did I have?
Oh man, I could use a drink.
Turns out I wasn’t nearly as close as I thought. I’d been limping around for what must’ve been hours before I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t dreaming.
I rolled my neck to relieve some tension from my shoulders and looked up. The sun was in basically the same place as it had been when I last checked, which was probably about half an hour ago.
I didn’t know if this rule worked for dreams, but I do know that in dreams, clocks never show the same time twice. I’d figure in the absence of clocks, this was the next best test.
Which meant that so far, this was real.
I was really in Equestria.
As a pony.
A short laugh escaped my lips as I marveled at the ludicrous situation I was in. In what I perceived as my reality, I was in a cartoon. The weirdest part was that the world I saw looked pretty damn similar to real life, not with the show’s cartoony qualities. I sank to my haunches and lifted my good forehoof to my gaze. Like with the show, it was one solid color, minus an almost orange hoof, which wasn’t the design I remembered. The fur on the leg was a solid color, and you could make out individual hairs just by looking at it. It was about the same as it would be looking at a golden retriever. That meant there was a certain level of realism going on in this cartoon world.
Besides that, the environment lacked the same animated look. Other than the forest off to my side, the world had a vibrant, colorful appearance. Looking at the forest, everything was kind of dark. If I peered at the trees, I could make out individual knots and roots sticking out of the ground. They weren’t just one solid color with some cartoonish differences like in the show.
Peering deeper into the forest, I noticed something else. Far off into the distance, things weren’t as blurry as I was used to unaided, which was nice, as I was used to wearing contacts due to my vision being shit. I placed a hoof over each eye and peered into the distance. My vision was just as clear in each eye. This meant that my current body wasn’t just my old body in a pony form. I had a new body with noticeably better vision.
This also meant I was totally off my rocker. I thought I was in the televised world of a cartoon. Either that or I was seeing things. I do remember hearing that psychosis includes vivid hallucinations. I wasn’t sure how accurate that was, but that made more sense than me being in a cartoon world.
First things first, my priority was finding some other creatures. If not just to prove I’m dreaming, it’d be to find some enjoyment in this utopia while I still could.
My vision wandered back to the forest. Just looking at it gave me the eerie sensation I was being watched.
I wasn't sure it was the Everfree Forest, and even if it was, I don't remember anybody actually being injured in it when I watched the show. It'd make my journey far shorter.
I could find civilization faster. Find out if there were more ponies faster. I could work on maybe getting back to my old life faster.
Exhaling slowly, I took a tentative footstep toward the forest. Then another. Then a third.
And that's when my body locked into place. I started shaking as I found my legs unwilling to obey my commands to move. It was as if I'd lost complete control over my body.
“Move!” I commanded myself.
“No, I’m scared!” argued a voice in the back of my mind pitifully.
“Oh for the love of… this is a hallucination! Either that or a really weird dream. I’m in somebody’s room, probably my own as it’s Friday night, and I’ll be fine when I wake up.”
“I’m too scared to go into the forest,” replied the pathetic voice.
One part of me wanted to sack up and travel through the forest, but the other, more wimpy side of me just wanted to find some sympathetic adult and cry into their chest. Great. The stupid child body came with a stupid child brain and stupid child emotions.
Well, when stuck by fear, there’s always one viable solution.
Not giving myself any time to second-guess my decision, I sank to my haunches and lifted my injured leg, then smacked it to the ground as hard as I could. Tears instantly flooded in my eyes as I instantly doubled over in pain and my muzzle hit the dirt.
Temporarily distracted by the pain and the crying inside my head, I stumbled to my three good legs and limped into the forest.
The trek was long. It was boring, and a couple minutes in, I realized it may be futile. Sure, Ghastly Gorge was near Ponyville, but what if the forest I was in right now wasn't Everfree Forest, and I had gone in the complete opposite direction?
Fuck! I'm so stupid! I don't even know if there was a town this way!
A chill ran up my spine as I froze in my tracks. I could either continue the way I was going, risk traveling away from civilization, and throw myself into even more danger—or I could turn around and risk the same. What if I got lost or couldn't find somebody else in time?
I forced myself to keep moving.
Did kids starve faster than adults? Was that a thing? How long could I viably be lost before I couldn't move or fight back anymore? Could I eat grass? Real-life horses can, and I know humans can't because of some enzyme we don't have, but I'd never seen a pony do it in the show.
I could try hunting, but even if this weak filly body could hunt, I'm pretty sure horses can't digest meat. There's always the local flora, but I had no idea which ones were poisonous. If I ate poison I could just be helpless to a predator.
I saw a collection of ravens about ten feet ahead, clustered around something I couldn't make out. There were flies flying around them.
That wasn't a good sign. Ravens congregating like that either meant trash… or a carcass.
What about predators? What if I ran into a starving bear or hungry wolf? I had no tools to defend myself, I didn't even—
My hoof shot up to my forehead.
I had a horn.
Oh thank god.
My heart dropped when I made it to the ravens. As they flew away, I noticed something red on the ground. One closer look told me all I needed to know.
I could tell it was an animal. Probably a little under half my size. But now it was just some bloodstained bones, almost picked clean by the birds.
I was in a hunting ground.
And right then, since of course the universe wasn't done fucking with me, I heard the last noise I wanted to hear:
The very growl of a wolf behind me.
Oh shit.
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That's what the cool kids call a oof moment.
Good start, keep going!
Yeah, solid start. Trope aversions. Fight the cliches and keep it interesting.
10845091
Aye ma'am!
10845095
You got it bro. That's what I'm about.
Now watch as the story status switches to conplete with that ending of the chapter xD love the start! I look forwards to seeing more
10845130
Oh no, trust me, I have way too many ideas for this story to cut it off early.
10845134
XD good to hear!
I just thought it would be funny if it just vut off here. Just leaving the readers hanging in the idea that, either they could have survived, or became wolf food
10845135
"And then I was killed. Roll credits."
mmmyyy litttttle ponyy
10845136
XDDD hahaha shortest hie ever
She's wrong there, but will likely only find out when the time comes. As you're avoiding cliches I imagine the "ponies can't eat meat" silliness is included.
Interesting start! Gonna follow it, see where you take the smol
10845138
I think when I looked it up, yes they can eat meat, but have enormous trouble digesting it and it leads to all sorts of distress. That was what I was going for.
Hope I deliver!
10845137
10845146
I think it depends mostly on the fat contents? They still love it though, I have a friend that had a pony that would ransack sandwiches for bacon.
Warhorses specially were known to develop taste for it, if I'm not mistaken. A horse biting your face off in battle was rather extremely effective and terrifying.
Nice to know you're avoiding said trope, since they're not human we won't have to get near the "oh my Celestia, itsy bitsy canines! It's going to eat us!!" either
I'm certain you will!
10845179
Huh. I actually didn't know that.
And yeah, I'd think getting my face bitten off would be a little terrifying.
Alright first off I adore your writing style. I love how the child body conflicts with the adult mind, interested to see how that will play out. Also, this is Carrot Top, but as a kirin? Cool.
10845211
Aw, thanks!
And no. This is a person as a Kirin. I had Carrot Top as a tag because she's a major player later into the story.
But I use the "Golden Harvest" name because it's way better.
10845231
Ahh. I see
Normally, with some exceptions, I am generally not really enamored by dudette HiE stories, or most TG stuff(with some exceptions) they just don't seem to grab my interests in what happen do in them or don't seem to have a lot happening in them, sorry. But this is an interesting start with being alone, wounded and in a dangerous situation, I hope to see more of her character to shin through. I hope an interesting plot will develop around this, so I could keep reading it, hopefully.
If you are ever looking to commission a cover art let me know, good luck on your story.
Interesting story so far. Gonna be keeping an eye on this one.
Ponies must have gotten used to head pain, then, given the number of times I've seen them face
palmhoof.This is a great start. Haven't read Mind Over Matter (might have to do that), but yeah, Trust Once Lost is a great story, and I'm perfectly happy to read another one with a similar start. The 'HiE, but as a pony' bit is great, but adding a broken leg to the mix? That's gonna be fuuuuun.
Can't wait 'til next week!
10845518
So turning into a horse is one way to pick up chicks. Duly noted.
looks good so far. Doesn't seem to be OP and is not a green, black maned filly. Everything seems on the up and up
10845273
Actually thinking over the premise of the story, despite not having my usual elements of interests, this could actually have an interesting plot to this story. One of the things that disappointed me for the last seasons was that we didn't really get to learn and explore much about the Kirin's and their relations with Equestria or rather the near total absence of reference about the kirin in Equestrian history to the point that they didn't know or forgot that they and the Nirik's are one in the same, and their tribe actually live within their borders of all things. This could be a chance to explore that aspect of Equestria's massive gapping wholes in it's own geographical knowledge. I could get that in between settlement magic can run much wild outside of ponies (the main three tribes) magical control and that powerful dangerous creatures can spread a lot faster and makes the whole process of census and topology that much harder. Or it could be that the Kirin's intentional hid themselves from the rest of Equestria or that they literally disappeared by some magical quirk of their. It could also helps show what were their origins, considering they seem so much more removed in the generic from other pony tribes, sense they have scales, cloven hooves, and no cutie marks of their own. from the tags it seems that we won't see the Equestrian royalty or the Mane Six in the story so it could take place at another point in time in Equestrian history story.
10845564
Well when she woke up, she believed she heard a train. So she might simply be beyond Equestria's borders, or those tags will be added in time with those character's appearances.
10845555
That's racist.
10845721
Prove it
10845747
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/10/13/1855451.png
10845774
This does not prove I'm racist merely that the Anon-pone is hurt and needs a nurse.
10845273
Oh and the interest shall build. I have plans for this character.
And I'll keep that in mind, thanks!
10845446
Thank you.
Also a great scoring system.
10845518
RIP tiny birb.
I know horses can eat meat but I thought they had some crazy trouble digesting meat.
10845536
Hey, glad you like it!
10845555
No anons here, my guy.
10845564
Yeah I really wish the Kirin were showed a lot more. I do have some of my own headcanons, some which will show as soon as the next chapter, but I'm adding on some detail too spice some things up.
And this does take place during the show, but our MC is not going to meet any of the main characters from the show. This will be all about the background characters.
she gonna discover her flames pretty fast cause ill be pretty mad in my situation after child brain has it freak out hope she doesn't hurt her leg more seems to be the risk but that wolf is ashes.
think Kirin race can do cool things with there flames or biology then just "flame on" due to anger I could see are gal wanting to do cool stuff like see if she could pull a human torch type flight impression or a comet impact landing or her just pushing to discover other cool things to test like seeing if she can call those fangs from that angry form to use in normal form? fanged Kirin her age would be adorable might even let her eat gems if she really has dragon in her! be cool to see how fire resistant she really be like bathing with dragons or just dancing in fire maybe even test if she can control flames or try doing dragon magic or other fire and light stuff there so much to play with this unknown race for all we know Kirin have some earth mythos abilities the show didn't show!
10845924
Oh I start exploring Kirin magic in the next chapter. It's gonna get interesting.
That's good reading. Come on
FemAnon, huh?
10845136
You. I like you. I like this too. Moar please.
10846066
More to follow!
10846077
It's not Anon. The name just hasn't been said yet.
10846082
Your wish is my command.
Stopped in just to say that the cover art fantasticly portrays a moment of sheer 'Oh what the GOD--' and I look forward to devouring this fic once it's built up a nice little buffer.
10845179
Even ponies know the godly power of bacon!
Just don't stand downwind of them for the next day or two. Whew, talk about chemical weapon of nasal destruction. And you thought cattle were destroying the ozone layer...
Alondro's first thought if this happened to him, "Crap, I shifted back into my true Jersey Devil form by accident again. Whelp, time to kill any eyewitnesses AND EAT THEIR SKIN!!!!"
Is the flame going to be like the "Venture Brothers" version of the Human Torch?
Because that would be hilariously evil to Anon. DOOOO EEEEEEEET.
Wow. She botched a wisdom check hard-core didn't she?
Yes. Lets walk through a death forest while wounded, with no supplies or idea of which way to go.
10846382
Depending on how things go I may push up the release schedule. I mainly pushed this out before the story was done because I was in a major slump and have only written a coupld thousand words since my last story ended.
But I'm getting the writing tinglies with all these comments.
10846536
Hey, if starving in a forest, skin will make proper sustenance.
10846537
Well I mean this isn't an anon, and I haven't actually seen Venture Bros so I have no idea what you're insinuating.
10846538
The thing with the MC is she has a lot of book smarts, but isn't too good at using them in a lot of situations.
But yeah, it was maybe not her finest moment.
Now why would you do that? You had a perfectly lovely railroad track to follow.
Ah well, it wouldn't be HIE without a wee jaunt through the Everfree.
10846174
Huzzah!
10846651
Our main character has smarts, is just not maybe good at applying them.
10846660
10846667
As every D&D fan will tell you: the difference between Intelligence and Wisdom.
10846671
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is doing it anyway, and then selling it to people.
So according to Ferment Unrest Kirins get drunk on acid. Their alcohol of choice is 1 point peach juice and 9 points kerosene
Well, it's definitely better than 90% of the HiE on the site. At minimum. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
10846777
Full disclosure, I adapted that concept from Estee's The Bridge Over The River WHY?
10847067
I skipped over that, the messages were getting whiny.
10846671
Well, I've never played DnD, but there you go.
10846777
That is perhaps one of the best headcanons I've ever heard.
10847067
Well that's... really high praise for jut a couple thousand words. Thanks! I'll do my best to keep it interesting!
10845924
"Sounds of Silence" had a brief shot of a Kirin using growth magic, as well as multiple scenes of them using their horns for unicorn-style telekinesis. So we could be looking at a mix of earth magic and some others.
10847395
They also were shown (and mythologically able to) run on water.
10847436
and if you go with the world of monster hunter (idk why you would but you could) control lighting and move faster then the eye can see