• Member Since 16th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Anon3mous1


The author that wishes he picked a better name

T

When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong gender, and lost in the wilderness.

In this self-insert fanfiction I take the ultimate test of self-awareness and try to take an honest look at my own strengths, weaknesses and psychology. Names and situations from my own life referenced here for character development have been altered where necessary to protect the privacy of the people involved, but have not been dramatized or exaggerated. Knowledge of my self-insert is what I can remember off the top of my head without any additional research.

This is a very personal story for me, but don't be afraid to critique, my ego can take it... probably. 😉

Chinese Translation: https://fimtale.com/t/9306

Can't vouch for its accuracy since I don't speak Chinese but it's being translated by a human who goes by DreamsSetFree.

Hi to all my Chinese readers!
你好,读中文的朋友们

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 439 )

I have to say I like it so far. Doesn't seem to pretend to be anything other than a fun transformation story. Personally I don't think there could ever be too many of those. Not breaking new ground yet, but it doesn't have to. I'm particularly curious to see how how you'll handle the character finding civilization. What if anything will be different between the 'real' Equestria and the one from the show? Will there be canon characters? A lot of potential.

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I do have a plan for where this story is going to go, but you all know how I am with plans.

That was a good read. Looking forward to updates.

My tracking folder is backed up with over a thousand chapters, but whatever.

Unfortunately, I didn't have any containers to boil water, or any water filters, or any chlorine. I didn't know how to start a fire with hooves, I didn't think this new body would appreciate me eating meat, I knew nothing about what local plants were edible, and I didn't have a map or compass. If my assumption about being in Equestria was right, then I wouldn't even be able to find North with the stars. I could die out here and no-one would ever know what happened to me.

Well, provided that it's daytime, here's something you CAN do if you're lost in the forest (you probably already know this, but it bears repeating).

Find a stick and put it in the ground to mark the sun's shadow. After some time, put another stick in the ground to mark hoe far the shadow has travelled.

Stand with the first stick on your left and the second on your right and you'll be facing south. Vice-versa for north.

Congrats. You're still lost in the forest, but at least you have your bearings.

I looked back and determined that I had not sprouted wings.

You might remember that that spell only works in the presence of the Elements. Nice try, though. Also you said it wrong.

Chest pain, cold, clammy skin, shivering, tightness in the throat, nausea, feeling faint, numbness in the mouth. You are in shock; blood pressure is too low; chest pain possible heart attack; more likely panic attack; numbness in the mouth likely exposure to unknown plant; tightness in throat unlikely to be anaphylaxis: lack of other symptoms (no heat, not itch, no rash or hives, no facial swelling during or after edibility tests).

Seemingly dodged a bullet, there.

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But the true elements are right here!

That rock has never pretended to be anything but a rock, it represents the element of Honesty!

That tree that gave me shade from the sun represents the element of...

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Half a point. Technically the tree pretty much always shades that spot. The rock... Doesn't even have a spark of life to it.

So far so good. Looking forward to updates!

I like this, can't wait for more.

Nice! Can't wait for more!

I vote Fluttershy. Not only is she good friends with Zecora - who is intimately familiar with the woods, but she can also use animals to assist. Not only that, but her kind nature is probably what Princess Luna thinks she needs at this moment in time.

Fluttershy seems most reasonable. Both her personality being most likely to be helpful to the situation, and her almost certainly being the best with such woodcraft. I can't see any of the alternatives being a reasonable choice.

I would certainly vote for either Applejack or Twilight, if simply for the fact that Twilight would probably have the knowledge, while AJ would most likely have the experience.

Fluttershy's specialty is with animals afaik, not survivalism.

And is it only me that thinks it's weird that he (I presume that the author is a he, or at least the protagonist was beforehand) is using pony terms rather quickly?

Applejack would be a better call... since she have some experience with camping and give better tips for being an earth pony in that situation

While I think that Twilight Sparkle and Applejack would be the best practical choices, and Fluttershy a possible choice from Luna’s standpoint, I voted for Pinkie Pie even though she has the next-to-least votes. Being that she’s the unconventional type, not only do I imagine that she would be more likely to succeed in getting a lesson across to someone who is ignorant of Equestrian things in general and unfamiliar with their body, but she’d raise their spirits rather than merely comfort them, since that is more likely to last in the waking world when they’re alone again. Plus, she is also likely to keep someone off balance, potentially leading to being more honest than they’d normally want to be.

And I’d be tickled Pinkie if our protagonist woke up with a cupcake beside them. :pinkiehappy:

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I have to agree. Twilight might know all the theory, but I doubt any of the others would actually know how to start a fire. Though I could see Rarity using a gem, and Dash just using speed.

"Fear not, my little pony!" she exclaimed, heroically, "I have heard your call. Nothing shall harm you in my domain!"

HA! She said it!:rainbowlaugh:

Thinking in terms of her survival Applejack or Twilight is the obvious choice Twilight because our protagonist is a unicorn but because she has just become a unicorn chances are she wont be able to figure out magic quick enough to do her any good at the time,
Which means Applejack is the best choice for her as A.J has practical experience and should be able to teach her how to survive with only her hooves. (Though trying to keep her secret will only get more challenging with the element of honesty there :twilightsmile:)

Really enjoying this, very engaging.

I'd definitely say Applejack, as she'd seem to be the most familiar with survival. She's also an Earth Pony; she has no access to Unicorn magic nor the wings of a Pegasus. Since our protagonist doesn't have wings and lacks the knowledge to use their magic, it'd be a good choice.

Assuming the protagonist is right about Luna's thought processes, it's pretty much got to be Fluttershy. She not only has likely knowledge of forest foods, but is also most likely to be able to get a little foal to open up about themselves purely by being so kind and nice.

Rarity and Dash don't have skillsets in those directions. Applejack is reliable and trustworthy, but might not know survivalist skills or be able to get a foal to open up anywhere near as quickly as Fluttershy. (Apple Bloom may actually be better at both.) Pinkie is far too overwhelming. Twilight could probably recite lists of edible forest items or how to make a fire directly out of survival, camping, or Filly Guide manuals, but her interpersonal skills (which Luna is presumably after) aren't up to the task.

Unrelatedly, it's interesting that the protagonist's dream-form is her filly-shape, not a human one. The transformation process, or the ROB-equivalent involved in it, has presumably taken care of that, and may possibly also be responsible for things like language-matching and sufficient kinesthesia and muscle memory to allow walking and physical manipulation of objects, if not a 100% complete revamp of the somatosensory map if everything's feeling a bit off. Magic-use is also apparently not getting a behind-the-scenes boost to accessibility.

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Fluttershy was who I considered the most logical choice for Luna assuming the protag was correct about her intentions, (and she seems to be winning the poll quite handily), Applejack would be the more logical choice if the protag was wrong (as she often is), but I did have a rationale for each of the mane 6.

Applejack: Probably the best at camping skills based on what we've seen in the show. She also bears the Element of Honesty and would be able to get to the truth of the matter. (meta: it would be an interesting character conflict between her and protag since the protag is an unrepentant liar)

Fluttershy: Likely has some outdoors skills and forest knowledge, could provide comfort and help the filly to open up. (meta: the protag is terrified of causing anyone to be anxious or scared so this may be difficult for her to deal with)

Twilight: Previously she was the princesses go-to problem solver. Now she is a fellow princess who the filly will recognize, but younger and more approachable. Good at planning and teaching so she would be able to teach the filly how to start a fire with magic or perhaps how to create a magic signal flare to make finding her easier.

Rainbow Dash: On the face of it she seems like an odd choice, but you have to remember that she's a wonderbolt now, and the wonderbolts are a military unit which is sometimes deployed in disaster situations. Not only does she likely have at least some training in Search and Rescue she is also hyper vigilant while in the air, so seeing the protag's memory of where she is may enable her to spot it from the air.

Rarity: Rarity has a little sister who is a unicorn the protag's approximate age who once (sort of) ran away from home, she might be a good choice to talk to the protag. She may also have some experience with teaching magic to a young child.

Pinkie: Probably not the best choice, but Luna might pick her because she's good with foals. Pinkie also has the most extensive social network so Luna may be hoping that she would be able to identify the protag by having heard about any lost foals through her social connections. (meta: this option comes with a free inexplicable cupcake when the protag wakes up)

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Yep, all good reasons - although many of them are good for reasons the protag would consider good, whereas Luna's been set up to apparently believe that it would be for the greater good of the protag to have some mental/emotional/psychological assistance, not just "OK here's how to survive in the wilderness like you asked, see you later". And it's Luna who will be making the choice (modulo things like which ponies are currently awake and available, which is authorial fiat). Effectively, the situation has been set up so that Luna's choice will most likely not be the one the protag would personally prefer or pick, and in fact might turn out to be the source of further problematic complications if they decide that, as a foal with no parents or guardians, the protag must be cared for and protected even if they don't want to be.

And that's a potential problem no matter which of the Six is chosen. Applejack has very firm ideas about Family and the correct raising of foals, particularly those with no parents. Pinkie would steamroller right over the top of any attempt of the protag to assert themselves or escape. Fluttershy has strong views on caring for those who (in her mind) can't care for themselves, and if backed into a corner might use the Stare. Dash is the least likely to place restrictions on the protag immediately, but also likely to cave to her friends' insistence on keeping an eye on the foal. Rarity might have the hardest time actually keeping the protag under personal control, given the other demands on her time, but is possibly the most likely to irritate the filly, and may be the sneakiest at ensnaring her via a sense of honor and fairness. Twilight would probably end up placing multiple tracking spells on her, and trying to use advice out of "How to Raise A Foal" books. And there's always the chance that any of the Six would simply turn her over to whatever system Ponyville or Equestria has for orphans in general (assuming it has one). Fostering, one would imagine.

If the protag actually is anywhere near Ponyville, which hasn't been established as a given yet, and has a choice of who to stay with from the Six, she might be better off choosing Rarity. She can conduct herself in a controlled and adult enough manner to assuage any concerns about being anywhere near as destructive as Sweetie, Rarity may be able to provide some insight into the use of unicorn magic, and the Boutique has a range of items and materials to practise telekinesis on. Rarity is also time-strapped enough that she may be happy to simply provide board and lodging, as it were, and have either Twilight or the local school system handle things like general education. The protag could probably put up with occasionally being used as a model or size reference.

The largest fly in the ointment there might be Sweetie Belle - she's generally presented as very gregarious and outgoing, and would want to soak up all the protag's free time (including Crusading). I can't see a situation where the protag could gently turn down Sweetie's attempts at friendship or avoid having the CMC constantly plowing through their life.

That could happen if they wind up on Sweet Apple Acres, too. Assuming they had any time or energy left after farm chores. Would actually be any chance to network with more useful foals in Ponyville, if they wound up with anypony from the Six? What would it take to be able to wiggle into the graces of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, for instance? They have money, they have connections; it's potentially quite possible to convince their assorted parents that the protag would be good for them in some way. Play the "foreign noblefilly in disguise, sent to Ponyville to be raised in secret in a quiet, nurturing environment and ingratiate herself with the Bearers" card?

Even thought Fluttershy is winning in the poll I think you should consider that Applejack might make the most sense under the circumstances. She'll know about as much about practical survival while also specializing in finding the truth. That would seem to kill two of Luna's birds with one stone.

I demand another ~slames mug onto floor shattering it~

but seriously this is great can't wait for the next chapter. I voted for Twilight, on the grounds that magic is probably the biggest bit to help the protag right now, like she could use it to signal for help, get food, or any number of other things, that said it might be a thing where Luna and even Twilight might think that learning to magic in one night isn't going to happen but learning to do fire by mouth or hoof could, so might be someone else. That said if Luna is going for the 'this child has been abused and needs comforting to come out with what's up' then fluttershy is hands down the best choice, and may be able to help her enough to survive till help arrives.

Read the first two chapters and I can say I'm quite interested. While very uncomfortable, him (assuming he was a male originally from how he describes himself) making mental note of how in their situation they can't quite be sure of what is real or if they've been mentally altered as well in a nice touch.

The only thing I don't like it how he seems to want to not actually do anything. I don't mean just up and bullrush a solution to everything, but how he acts makes it seem like hes trying to stay in his current situation despite it being miserable. First he tries to get Luna to not have him rescued, he then says for her to help him but thinks to himself that he can't and won't do anything about being brought to equestria and shapeshifted. While whoever brought him there seems to have done it to trick him into letting whoever it was do it so they could hurt him by setting all this up, him doing this seems to have no purpose other than for him to harm himself by keeping him in equestria as a female foal. It seems like his current course is one that will hurt him, and he seems against making progress to solve his problem, which doesn't make sense and says that the future will just be him commiting forms of self-harm, which discourages further reading.

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One of the themes I'm trying to explore is that relying on others is not a bad thing. The protagonist has an extreme aversion to putting himself at the mercy of others. His imagined ideal situation would be one where he could pull himself up by his non-existent pony bootstraps, manage to survive through his own guts and ingenuity, and then interact with others on his own terms. The idea being, even if he's miserable, at least he doesn't have to rely on any kindness of others (think of Walter White choosing to cook meth instead of accepting charity). While he feels like that's what he needs to do to avoid looking like a helpless child, it's actually a very childish way to approach the situation. If he was seen as an adult there would be a certain amount of leeway given for him to make decisions that harm his wellbeing, as it is, he will be forced to accept help.

In his life as a human there weren't really any challenges that he couldn't overcome just by being a stubborn bastard and toughing it out on his own. Here, he's been put in a situation so extreme that he needs help and will be forced to accept it; and once he's out of the current high stress situation perhaps he can actually get it into his thick skull that while helping others is admirable, being able to accept help from others is also a virtue.

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Its not really him taking charity or putting himself at the mercy of others, I think, but just not taking the obvious route in front of him. Hes obviously aware of equestria and the setting, so him not telling her doesn't make sense. Hes lost in the woods with no real special skill or magic, no knowledge or leads on how to fix all of it. So by actively refusing to tell her the way he did hes discarding the only actual lead he has in favor of flailing ineffectually. While a focus on the protagonist's internal conflict makes sense, it feels like hes going to keep making suboptimal decisions only to cry avout how terrible things are. I just don't want to see him go about actively denying himself progress out of stubbornness when his available avenues aren't harmful, and he doesn't have any others available.

I like the first chapter. One bit of advice I'd give though is that you should ground us as readers before you start going into headspace. It's just internal monologue there at first for a good long while, which left me feeling like I was floating through the void for a bit. It picked up, but it's something to look for. Keep us grounded.

While this IS a "What If" chapter it does feel unfinished.

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"In the meantime please enjoy what would have been the start of chapter 3"

But yes, wish there was more.

She walked forward, but on a slight angle, approaching me without walking directly towards me, as one might to avoid startling an easily spooked animal. I could tell she was out of her element in what she saw as a very delicate situation.

Apparently, going directly toward a creature is what a predator does. So if you approach them at an angle or in a roundabout fashion, you're less likely to startle them.

Kinda wished this was the route taken.

Very nice.
Always love the perspective of an adult who became a child. Getting to experience adults treating you as subhuman/subpony again really makes you think.

Took me a little while to realize that they were supposed to be ghostly in that picture. Reminded me way too much of failed erasing or other stuff like that.

Absolutely hoping for more. And really, really hoping this ends up as a "Human in Equestria? We have dismissed these claims." Story. But either way, this is already a great story. High immersion factor and so on.

Drawing is hard. :)

Though I'm a little frustrated. He/she knows about Equestria. It would stand to reason that they'd know about the possibilities of portals, and logic would dictate that on finding ourselves transported into another world where we begin to doubt our own sanity - blame Discord. Not telling the truth may make it harder to find them being there is a remote possibility that they could have unwittingly fallen through a naturally occurring portal like the one we saw in Equestria Girls.
Not telling the truth only makes things worse in the end.

Not sure honestly. Mainly though, in the tv show, dreamstates don't seem to provide that kind of transparent effect. Also I either missed or there wasn't any statement on transparency. So I didn't immediately realize what was going on, and thought of it as a lower quality picture.

Knowing the intent, I like it though. But yea, I don't know which is better.

Luna: Do not wander around to not hinder the rescuer's efforts
OC: *wanders around*

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The protag thinks he's a lot smarter than he actually is.

...Kinda like me 🤣

As I try to indicate in all my comments on fics...Moar...please. Another great chapter, I agree with other comments about the character being a bit bullheaded on her attempt to not tell others of her old life's memories, whether she is a copy or not. I do think accepting that she is the way she is and that is her is healthy for her right now, and likely in the long run, but I hate the 'liar revealed' plot line, which considering the title that may be what I'm in for. Even so, I shall cntinue to read eagerly.

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You may be surprised at what the title actually ends up meaning.

I took a breath, held it, and blew it out slowly. My thoughts started to clear and - wait, what was I doing ? I could feel Fluttershy's intent radiating from her and flowing through me and I had to separate it from my own. I didn't want to tell her everything, she wanted me to.

"Who do you think you are, doing that? Some kinda... Jedi?":trixieshiftright:

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It's my dream. I have a certain amount of control over everything the goes on there. I am one with the dream, the dream is with me.

:yay:

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Oh, that was heavily paraphrasing from The Phantom Menace.

Side note: I still think the title describes Jarjar.

I really don't like the conclusion he comes to. If it was later on and he decided he wanted to stay because he had a comfortable and fufilling life it would make sense. Here however, it seems like the decision hes made is to abandon his identity and memories, a willful disconnect where there isn't any reason to. If defeats the premise of the story, and feels like the protagonist is commiting suicide for nothing, making them very unsympathetic.

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Well in my dream a swordsman said I have to get up and do sword training. I woke up still a bit drowsy but a few minutes later I was aware that my body was moving on it's own and then I was standing at my back door. Weird

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