Having managed to evade the crusaders I was wandering by myself through the trees on the edge of the orchard.
To my left came a sudden snapping of tree branches and a shout. The smell of cooked onion and wet dog was intense, then gone. I jumped to the right instinctively and my vision swept to the source of the sound.
It turned out to be a filly, lying on her stomach and rubbing her head, looking disoriented. On a second look, she wasn't a filly. She had a carapace, a horn that looked more like a small branch, and what looked like a lion's mane. Her coat was a light sandy color and her mane was a couple shades lighter than caramel. She opened one of her brilliant forest green eyes and stared at the tree she just fell from. A Kirin.
"Oh you wanna fucking fight you rat bastard? Show yourself and I'll shove your scraggly toothed head so far up your ass you can eat lunch twice!" She shouted in a voice even higher than mine.
The filly grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her forehead in her hooves. "Son of a bitch, that hurt." She whispered aloud.
"Are you okay?" I blurted out, rushing to her side.
"Oh sure." The filly responded, not opening her eyes. "Just picking a fight with the Lord of Chaos. Maybe some head trauma. Or internal bleeding. Normal Tuesday."
I looked over the kirin filly and didn’t see any obvious injuries.
“Is he still here now?” I asked.
She may be joking about the ‘Lord of Chaos’ bit, but she’s injured so we have more important things to worry about than me looking silly.
“Who?”
“The one that injured you,” I repeated, “Is he still here. Are we in danger?”
“No.” The filly shook her head. “At least I don’t think so.”
"How are you feeling? Pain? Nausea?”
"I'm not concussed, thanks for aski-" The filly finally looked at me. And when she did a spark of familiarity shine in her eyes. The same eyes that turned to pinpricks as she visually raked over my body. "Uh, scratch that, concussed is back on the table."
Kirin weren't shown in the cartoon till season eight, three seasons after the point I was in now, and they were never seen near Ponyville. So what was she doing here? Had she been transported to Equestria in the same way I had? Then again, my journey to Equestria had been much less violent.
The kirin filly was eyeing me like I was some crazy animal that could snap and gobble her up at any moment. I could see her chest moving almost twice as fast as mine. She didn't look scared exactly, but more… well, I'm not sure how I'd put it.
"What's uh… what's your name?" She asked hesitantly.
"Green." I replied.
She made some sort of strangled hum. "Uh, hi Green. I'm… Sunny Meadows."
I gave her a quick nod. “You’re a long way from home, Sunny. Did the Lord of Chaos send you here?”
"This question might sound insane," Sunny Meadows elected to ignore my question, her brow furrowing as she took deep breaths, "But have you ever heard of something called 'the internet'?"
My heart leapt in my chest. I hadn’t told anypony about the internet. I was sure that I hadn’t mentioned the word even once. If she was asking that, and seemed to recognize me…
Then again, Discord was involved. This wasn’t necessarily another human.
“Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time.” I answered evenly.
“Oh." She grunted. "And by chance, do you also come from a world of featherless bipeds?"
“There’s a story of an ancient philosopher who presented a plucked chicken and exclaimed ‘behold, a man’.” I chuckled. “You know of Earth then? Are you from there?”
For a moment she didn't respond. She didn't even blink. Then a manic grin broke out on her face.
"Yes! I knew humans were real, and I wasn't crazy! Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Jenny, and I have no idea how I got to Equestria."
“Did you tell anypony about being a human?”
"Yeah, the nurses, my foster family." She shrugged.
“How did that go for you?”
"Oh, well apparently humans have all been dead for thousands of years, so I got some weird looks. I got a lot more crap for being stuck in here with Sunny." Jenny tapped the side of her head. "Do you… also have a headmate?"
That... was a lot to unpack.
“So, this is a Planet of the Apes situation?” I asked, “I haven’t seen evidence of that myself... but then again I haven’t read much history.”
“What did they tell you when you asked about humans?” Asked Jenny... or was it Sunny? "Or are you going straight up anonymous in this bitch?"
“I’m following the Prime Directive.” I explained. “I don’t want to interfere with the natural sequence of events.”
"What is that, a RoboCop reference?" Jenny chuckled. "Ooh! Have you figured out how to do magic yet? Sunny can do some but I have no idea how to make this dumb thing work." Jenny flicked at her horn. "Can't figure out the tail part either."
“Star Trek, actually.” I tried not to sound too disappointed. “I haven’t figured out magic yet, but I’m working on it. Twilight gave me some books.”
“What about your headmate, does she know magic?”
“Did you have ‘headmates’ before you came to Equestria?” I asked.
"Nope, I was just a perfectly sane fresh-faced alcoholic officer in the Army."
“So when you say headmate, what do you mean exactly,” I asked, “Did Discord put multiple humans into that one kirin body?”
"What?" Jenny's ears flattened out and she arched an eyebrow at me.
"No. Sunny is the kirin calf that this body belonged to. Bodies don't just poof into existence outta nowhere." Jenny scoffed. "Nah, from what I understand she already had a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, er, Multiple Personality Disorder for if you're not in the know, before I showed up, then uh. I popped into existence. After jumping off a train and breaking my foreleg. Fun times."
But that means... No. I can’t think about that right now.
“You need medical attention.” I stated. “Can you walk?”
Jenny rolled her eyes and waved me off with a hoof. "Relax dude, I can patch myself up fine. Didn't study nursing in college for four years to not be able to handle a tiny bump. I'm not concussed, nothing broke, we're good."
“You said you had head trauma and internal bleeding.” I countered, “And you know nothing about this new body.”
"My guy, have you not ever heard of joking?" Jenny straightened up, looking at me with interest. "Uh, girl? New body and all, what were you before you came here?"
Great, she was being non-cooperative. Alright, new tack.
“You were in the army, right?” I asked, “What’s your assessment of our chances if Discord comes back? We need to get back to Ponyville, preferably near one of the elements.”
"My 'assessment-'" Jenny sank to her haunches, making air quotes with her forehooves. "Is that he's just a big asshole who treats life as a dick measuring contest. He's no real threat."
I resisted the urge to groan in frustration.
“So what’s your plan then? Stay out here in the woods? ” Another alternative hit me, “Are you hiding from someone?”
"Did…" Jenny stared at me like I was an idiot. "Did you not see me fall through that tree? Discord's been fucking with me all day and just said this could 'cause some real chaos'." Jenny paused for a moment, before adding "Sunny says hi by the way, and that she likes your mane."
No. No. I couldn’t consider that now. I had to focus on something else.
“Alright, well let’s go back to Ponyville anyway then.” I said. “Assuming you have nothing better to do.”
"Sure." Jenny shrugged, ambling to her hooves. "So you been here long? You said you met Twilight, so you've already been to Canterlot? Was it full of snooty dicks?"
“Haven’t been to Canterlot yet.” I responded.
That assumption didn’t quite mesh unless...
Jenny stopped walking. "Wait… Twilight did take Sunbutt's throne, right?"
“Not yet.” I said. “Try to keep the future knowledge under your hat. We’re somewhere around season five from what I can tell.”
"Motherfu-" Jenny swore before biting her lip. "That slimy motherfucker sent me back into the past! Apparently Twilight took over Celestia's throne like, a year ago where I come from. Hell, I stopped watching in the middle of season three so I didn't even know she was a princess."
I wished I had fingers to pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Great. So now there’s time travel involved.”
All of a sudden Jenny was in my face. "Maybe not. What base do the ponies count in? Decimal?"
“They count in base ten.” I said, “I thought it was a little odd, but apparently the ancient Pegasopilans counted one on each hoof and then one on each of their six primary feathers. In modern times all ponies use that system.”
Jenny blew out slowly and stared at the ground. "Well, with that in mind, I have good news and bad news. Good news is that this isn't necessarily time travel. Bad news is… multiverse theory is a bitch. In my Equestria, ponies count in base four."
“We should keep walking, I want to get back to town before I freak out.”
"Well have you tried not being a little bi-" Jenny caught herself at the last moment. "Sorry. I mean, why? My foster family won't recognize me and I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb. If Discord dropped me off here he's probably gonna pick me back up. And a random kirin in town will cause the chaos he wanted."
Jenny was quiet as she caught up with me. "Then again, if my time is limited here, I do want to spend it with the only other human I've met. So fuck it, lead away."
“Jenny. I don’t have a headmate.” My throat felt sore. “I don’t know whose body this was, but if what you say is true, I’ve effectively killed them. I - I didn’t tell anyone-”
Jenny cut me off. "Woah there dude, Sunny already had DiD before I came into her life. We're in a fucking cartoon, and you look like that 4chan ponified pony. Besides, even if you do have a headmate, maybe they're just dormant or really shy. It took me a good while to discover Sunny was there and that's only because she had a panic attack." Jenny scratched at her chin. "Or maybe a PTSD episode. She refuses to talk about it."
“This isn’t just a cartoon anymore. These are real people with thoughts and emotions.”
"Or we're both delusional." Jenny chuckled. "You found another human. Lighten up. This is the time for shots and partying, if only we weren't stuck as kids."
“I have to get you out of here and safe.” I said. “Then I can go explain everything and have them erase my consciousness or whatever. I don’t deserve to be here.”
I felt a sudden pull on my tail and was dragged back. I turned around to see Jenny spitting my tail out, her forehooves smoking around the ankles, her eyes pure white, and her eyebrows sporting a blue fire, tinged with purple. "Nuh-uh bitch." She snarled, her voice sounding like she put it through a voice synthesizer to sound more demonic. "You are the only other human I have and probably will see in this stupid cartoon world, and I am not letting you go kill yourself."
“So what, you’re going to stop me?” I yelled. “You’d hurt this child’s body, let them suffer being possessed by me just so you have someone to talk to?”
Jenny let out a wicked smile, the teeth next to her front teeth turned to fangs. "If it comes down to it. I've done worse to Sunny." She let out a long sigh and stared off at the sky, slowly returning back to kirin form. "I mean… I didnt ever hurt her on purpose… Sorry, you're the only thing that's keeping me from the existential crisis I've been fighting back since I got here. And who's to say you can't coexist with your headmate even if you do have one? Who's to say you have one? I mean, I coexist with Sunny. I'm helping push her out of her shell and past some trauma. How did you get here?"
“It’s not worth it, Jenny.” I tried to keep my voice level. “If the only way we can exist is by possessing the bodies of innocent children... That isn’t what a headmate is. This isn’t right.”
Jenny clicked her tongue. Apparently a thought struck her because she instantly straightened up and got in my face. "Wait! You said Twilight still lives here, right? We can find out if you have another identity in your head! All we need is me, somebody we know has the condition, and a control group! Twilight probably has something that can scan brains, and we can see which one you're closer to! And if you do have other identities, we can go from there."
She seemed to notice how close she'd gotten because after she stopped talking, her cheeks tinted pink and she backpedaled with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, sometimes Sunny's mannerisms and emotions rub off on me."
“Perfect, let’s go.” I turned and walked towards ponyville.
I just had to keep it together for a while longer. Once we were back in Ponyville, we could meet Twilight, and I could be erased. Then it wouldn’t be my problem anymore. One last walk, one last sacrifice, and I could finally rest.
"You don't talk much about yourself, do you?" Jenny chuckled. "You're almost as quiet as Sunny. What do you got going up in that head of yours, Green? And what's your real name?"
“I-” I felt like crying, “I’m not a strong person, Jenny. I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“What’s your name?” Asked Jenny seriously.
“Doesn’t matter.” I said. “I’m nobody. Just an echo of someone who used to exist.”
Jenny rolled her eyes. She fixed me with what she must think was a sympathetic smile. "Okay drama queen. Ten minutes and we'll find out you're making a big fit over nothing. Do yourself a favor and save the angst till after we find out, kay?"
“Sure.” I said.
"Alright, echo." Jenny's voice took on a teasing tone as we went back to walking. "Tell me about yourself. What's your job, or are you still in school? Shit, are you even an adult?"
“I was a nurse.” I replied. “Or at least the original me was.”
"Fuck yeah, sister." Jenny gently bumped flanks with me. "I studied nursing. Was gonna be a doc in the Army. Then… I dunno. Got family? A husband? Kids?"
“I had a family.” I said. “Hopefully I’m not actually gone from Earth. They wouldn’t take it well if I just disappeared. How about you?”
"Pretty sure I don't have kids." Jenny joked. At least, I think it was a joke. "Had a girlfriend. Younger brother. That's about it."
Ah, Jenny must have been a man too - a woman would know if she had kids.
"I mean, then again, I've made a lot of drunk mistakes, woke up with a lot of strangers, so hey, who knows? At least if my human body is gone I don't need to worry about having those leeches growing in me. Thank fuckin' god, right?"
And here came the mandatory conversation about romance. Great.
“Never did any of that stuff myself.”
"Asexual or just permavirgin?" Jenny chuckled.
I swear the only good thing about being a child again is that people stopped asking these questions.
“Well, I wasn’t trying if that’s what you’re asking.” I said. “People are scary enough without bringing romantic relationships into it.”
Jenny nodded. "Valid. But sex don't need no romantic relationship. You're a nurse, you can probably get a one night stand pretty easy. Or find another chick if you wanted to munch some carpet. I do know lesbians are annoying hard to find though."
“Heh. I sometimes wish it wasn’t so easy.” I ignored the assumption that I was a woman. If she knew I was a man who hadn’t had sex her sympathy would dry up pretty fast, “Trying to turn someone down without hurting their feelings is a nightmare.”
“Not on you to worry about others feelings. You risk your own happiness for others then you're a doormat." Jenny responded casually.
“I guess I’m a doormat then.”
Looking up and seeing the Castle of Friendship, Jenny commented. "Hey, this Ponyville has that ugly crystal thing too. Who thought this was a good design choice?"
“It grew from a seed of the Tree of Harmony... or something like that.” I explained. “Makes an ugly toyset for sure.”
"The Tree of Harmony?" Jenny scoffed. "What, did they plant the fucking elements in the ground?"
“Not exactly.” I said. “Though it turns out that Elements of Harmony do grow on trees.”
Jenny let out a loud laugh as we reached the doors of the castle. "Good one. Now uh, your universe, you lead the way. I've never been inside."
Walking up the steps had a sense of finality. I just had to do one more thing and I’d finally have done enough. I wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
Jenny bumped against me again. "Hey, doom and gloom, what's something fun we can do after we find out you're worrying about nothing?"
"Once we’re done...” I needed something to encourage her to actually go through with this. Wait, she said she was an alcoholic. “Once we’re done we can go have a drink and laugh about how stupid I was. I know where Applejack keeps the hard cider.”
I couldn't help but imagine looking out at the sunset, having one last drink. That wouldn't be too selfish, right? As a last request?
"Oh you had me at drin-" Jenny stopped talking abruptly, frowning at herself and shaking her head. "God, I would love that more than anything, believe me… but I'm trying to stay sober. For Sunny. I already… did enough damage with my addictions. So please, don't tell me where it is no matter how much I ask. My will is weaker than my alcoholism."
Guilt struck me for trying to use her addiction to manipulate her. At the same time though, it neatly proved my point.
“That’s why we have to do this.” I declared. “We’re too much. Putting all the emotional baggage of an adult into a child’s mind? Even if we tried to help, it would never be enough.”
Jenny was quiet for a moment. "Sunny says she'd rather be with me through the struggles than to see me go. Says she couldn't bear to lose another family member. She also wants to meet you… well I guess she already met you, but to talk to you when this is over."
“She’s frightened.” I said. “I can empathize, but do you really think that hiding and letting someone else take over her life is what’s best for her in the long term?”
"She sure as hell seemed to think so." Jenny gave off a hollow laugh. "But… maybe a better person than me could be what she needs. That's if they can get rid of us anyway. I asked the nurse in my universe and she said they couldn't separate us or get rid of me. I mean, it's not like holding a cross at us and shouting 'the power of Jesus compels you' will do anything to us. Probably."
“They could shoot us with the Elements of Harmony.” I said. “If that doesn’t remove possession then I guess we’re stuck and we’ll have to go back to Discord.”
"Well, guess we're about to find out." Jenny muttered as I made the final turn and led her into the library. Looks like we're here."
Twilight was standing behind the returns desk as she was last time. She smiled when she saw me, but cocked her head to the side when she saw the kirin.
I approached the desk and sat down in front of it.
“Twilight, I haven’t been honest with you.” I said, my heart pounding in my chest. “I don’t have memory loss, I’m not a pony, and this isn’t my body.”
Jenny made her way to my side and sat so she was gently brushed up against me. I could feel a pleasant warmth emanating from her.
“Aha!” Twilight said excitedly. “I knew it! What’s your world like? Did you come through a magic mirror? Who’s your friend here? Is that what you used to look like?”
As I struggled with words, Jenny took over. "Nope. I'm a kirin. Blame Discord."
“This is someone else’s body, Twilight.” I said. “A child’s body, that I displaced the consciousness of.”
"That's what she thinks." Jenny clarified. "Not knows."
“And if I’m right, my ‘friend’ here has done the same thing. But the owner of the body still speaks in her head.”
"Okay, no." Jenny rolled her eyes, acting very improper in front of royalty. "I am an alter. The original identity of this body has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The original, Sunny, had it for years prior to me. Green has had none of those experiences and still thinks she killed somebody. And yes, we were both from the same species, which is a different species, prior to-" Jenny waved a forehoof wildly in front of us. "-this."
Oh come on.
“That’s not how DID works." I insisted. "Jenny has specific knowledge of my world which the original would have no way of knowing, which means she’s not an alter, she’s a separate consciousness that’s somehow possessing this body."
Jenny gave off a small smile. "My little foster sister calls me a tapeworm because of that. It's kinda adorable. But I can switch who's fronting with Sunny at any time. And yeah, I do have knowledge of Green's world, but this world has magic out the wazoo, so…" Jenny finished her thoughts with a simple shrug.
I started to feel angry, but realised this must be the belief that Jenny was clinging to, to justify her existence. I couldn't delude myself though. Someone had to set this right.
“Help me, Twilight.” I begged. “I don’t know how to undo this, but I want to do the right thing, so just, get me out of here. I don’t care what happens to me, just help whoever’s body this is.”
"Princess, what miss pity party is trying to ask is one, can you take scans of our head, to see if she has the same condition as me, and two, see if you can find out where she came from?"
Jenny turned to me. "If you don't have a headmate, then it's just you up there. 86'ing your personality won't do anybody favors, it will just kill you."
“I told someone they could send me to Equestria, make me a mare, but I didn’t know it would steal someponyelse’s body. If that’s what happened, even if there’s no way to bring them back, I don’t deserve to be here.”
“Girls,” Twilight said firmly but gently, “This is a lot, I think we should take this somewhere more private.”
Twilight took the three of us into a teleport and we appeared in what looked like some kind of office with Alicorn sized furniture. Sunny and I looked very small sitting on one of the large couches.
“Alright, I’m going to cast a spell now, to see what’s going on here.” Twilight explained.
Her horn glowed, and then her eyes. She looked over the two of us with a critical gaze.
“Jenny does have two souls in her body - Green has only one.”
“Then... they’re gone?” I asked. “I killed them.”
Twilight shook her head.
“This is your body, Green. If it had belonged to another soul at some point, I would be able to tell. Souls affect the body they’re inhabiting, just as the body influences the soul.”
"What did I tell you, dork?" Jenny playfully swatted my foreleg.
I slumped down on the couch, releasing the breath I didn't even know I was holding.
“Alright then.” I said glumly.
“Come on Green, cheer up.” Jenny smiled. “You’re your own pony! You didn’t kill anyone... You didn’t... want to get erased, did you?”
I didn't respond.
Jenny let out a slow exhale and nodded at the floor. "If it helps, this will be at least as awkward for me as it will for you."
Then with no warning, I found both her forelegs wrapping around my neck, pulling me into her. She placed her neck on my shoulder, and I could feel her heating up. It felt like the last embrace of the sun's warm rays as it dipped below the horizon.
“I’m so tired. I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” I said, “I was ready, and I finally had a good enough cause to sacrifice myself for, so it wouldn’t be selfish. Now I have to go on.”
"Yeah, you don't have a choice in the matter. You're sticking with me as long as I'm here." Jenny burned a few degrees hotter. "Now you're just gonna have to get used to living in a colorful utopia. Poor you."
A beat passed and Jenny broke the hug. "That was probably too long, wasn't it? I'm not an experienced hugger."
“I’m sorry.” I said. “I shouldn’t have burdened you with that. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry about me.”
"Too bad. I'm adopting you as my younger sister now. That being said, I do accept apologies in ice creams and fun activities. How about we get out of here before Discord takes me back?"
"Takes you back?" Twilight questioned. "Where?"
"Uh, can we explain tomorrow?" Jenny asked sheepishly. Twilight sighed and nodded.
"So… what now?" I questioned.
Jenny smirked. "It's a magical world, Green ol' buddy, let's go exploring!
After some icecream we found ourselves back in my bedroom at the farm. Jenny (Sunny?) being a Kirin had taken a little explaining, but Applejack was glad I was making friends, even if they were of species she’d never heard of.
“So you just hide out in here all day reading books?” Asked Jenny.
“If nopony forces me to do something else?” I answered, “Yeah.”
“You got transported to a world of magic and ponies, and the most exciting thing you can think of is to stay in an ordinary room by yourself and read about what the world outside is like?”
“There’s a level of excitement that I’m comfortable with,” I explained, “And being the first human to read books written by an alien race about how their world works is the perfect level of excitement for me.”
Jeeny scoffed. "You truly live a life of adventure. Think about anybody else being magic'd into a world of… well, magic. They'd live it up a bit."
“If I’m being honest, it’s been kind of a nightmare.” I replied. “I had some problems with social anxiety back on earth, but being stuck here in this body has made it so much worse.”
Jenny fixed me with a deadpan stare. "You? Anxious. Nooooo, really?"
“Being a child means I can’t get left alone to go out and do anything.” I explained. “So if I want to be alone, this is how it has to be. Plus I just like books. They don’t talk back as much.”
"I think if they talk back at all you should probably be concerned." Jenny winked. "But yeah, you're a kid. Tell Applejack you want to go to therapy and get over crippling anxiety. Or go find an outlet. Go hang out with Fluttershy or something. You like animals?"
Jenny paused, then her eyes lit up.
"I know! You wanna meet Sunny? She's a little younger than you, but already likes you. I doubt she'll put any pressure on you."
“Sure, why not.”
For a moment Jenny was completely still, then for just a second, her head started falling to the side, as though she was falling unconscious. Immediately she picked it up and… changed. She was sitting different, looking at me different, just a complete swap.
"Hi!" Sunny, I assume, greeted me with a giant smile. "So you're a human too? Did you look as weird as Jenny?"
Sunny paused for a second, staring off into the sky, before looking back at me with a sheepish grin. "Jenny says that's mean. Sorry."
“I suppose all humans would look weird to you.” I said. “Just like ponies and Kirin look weird to us. Eyeplates are a little strange to us.”
Sunny arched an eyebrow. "Whadya mean eyeplates? My eyes aren't plated, only my forehead and back. And yeah, ponies look weird. They're all naked looking and stuff. Can't imagine they're ever warm."
“Humans don’t even have fur on most of their body.” I explained. “So they wear clothes pretty much all the time."
"Oh, like that blue thing Noi had!" Sunny exclaimed.
“I’m not sure who Noi is,” I said, “But maybe. Clothes are pieces of cloth which have been sewn together so that they can be worn on the body while you move around.”
"Noi is our sister!" Sunny exclaimed before pausing. "Uh, Jenny wants me to clarify she's our 'foster' sister. And clothes sound annoying."
“I have a foster sister.” I said before thinking about it for a moment. “Actually come to think of it Applebloom is my foster aunt, even though she’s the same age as me. That’s... weird.”
"What? That… what?"
“Applebloom’s older sister is my foster mom,” I explained, “Which means that her little sister is technically my aunt, even though we’re the same age.”
It hadn’t occured to me how young Applejack really was to be taking this on until now.
"I more meant to ask what's an aunt." Sunny clarified. "I've never heard that before."
“An aunt is one of your parent’s sisters.” I explained, “Your parent’s brothers are called uncles.”
Sunny frowned. "Kirin don't have a word for that. I mean, none of my parents had brothers or sisters but we'd just call them mom or dad if they did. That's not normal?"
“What’s normal depends on context. If that’s how Kirin families work then that’s normal. For humans it’s different."
Sunny stuck a tongue out. "Humans are weird."
“I guess they are.”
"Ugh." Sunny stuck out her tongue as she looked at her ice cream. "How can Jenny like mint? There's nothing grosser. Anyway, how long you been here?"
“A couple weeks now.” I said. “How long has Jenny been with you?”
"About half a moon." Sunny shrugged. "Feels way longer though because of all the dumb stuff."
I was a little concerned about that idea.
“What kind of stuff?”
"Oh, jumping off a train, breaking my leg, fighting a timberwolf, Jenny messing up the other foreleg in a withdrawal-caused… moment of weakness? Yeah. Then getting drunk. Then saving our little sister. Then all the stuff with Discord. But I was dormant for most of that last one." Sunny shrugged, trying to hide a smile. "Normal headmate stuff."
Make that highly concerned.
“Your headmates getting you drunk and self-harming is a regular occurrence?”
Sunny giggled. "Nope! But it was funny, right? Nah, normally my headmates just get me grounded. One of my last ones liked a bit more permanent pranks. Like shaving my sister's tail and calling her an overgrown rat." Sunny froze. "But Orange didn't mean it as an insult! Just a joke!"
“And then they leave you to face the consequences?” I asked. “That doesn’t seem very nice of them.”
"Ah no." Sunny scoffed. "Usually King fronted to take the punishment if I don't wanna. He was the responsible one before Jenny."
Sunny licked her ice cream, making a disgusted face. "But he was kinda a pushover. Like you! Uh, no offense."
Sunny paused. "Jenny says I’m being 'tactless' again."
I was struggling to think about what to say. I was in no way qualified to untangle this mess, but at the same time I felt kinda responsible.
"You're looking all brood-y again." Sunny noted.
“I’m thinking about what I can say,” I said, “Since I don’t want to be tactless. I’m worried about you, Sunny. Your situation is very complicated.”
Sunny shrugged. "I got plenty of ponies that are trying to help me. A kirin and a human too. Well, I guess two humans now."
“It’s good that you have help.” I reassured. “Can Jenny hear everything we’re saying right now?”
Sunny nodded. "We share the same brain, so yeah. I can also hear all her thoughts. She can't hear mine for some reason though. Only kinda feel my feelings."
"Speaking of which she keeps thinking one pony is a 'milf' but won't tell me what that means. Do you know?" Sunny gestured toward a mare I didn't recognize who had been walking past us.
“It’s a human expression, and a rather crude one at that.” I said. “Have you gone native that quickly Jenny?”
"She says she can appreciate fine art even if she doesn't like the style." Sunny frowned. "What are you two talking about?"
I paused for a moment.
“It means that Jenny thinks that’s the kind of mare she’d like to hug and kiss and write sappy love poems about.” I winked at Jenny.
Sunny responded with a glare. "I know I'm younger than you both, but I know what adult stuff is. I heard plenty about it before Jenny realized I could hear her thoughts. And she's definitely not the romantic type."
Sunny paused again, apparently listening to Jenny. "Apparently she actually is. Just not the poem writing kind. Says her last girlfriend had a talent to get her eyes as wet as her first two fingers. And that you'd get that."
Another pause.
"What are fingers?"
“Humans have paws with separate digits, like a dog or wolf, but we also have something called an opposable thumb, which allows us to grab things between our fingers easily. We call the paws “hands”, and the digits “fingers”.”
"Oh!" Sunny exclaimed. "I know about thumbs! Discord made a joke about them and then stuck his… finger on the side of his hoof in the air. Wow, these hand things look weird. Like part of a spider on the end of your hoof."
I walked over to my book bag and pulled out Graymane’s Anatomy.
“The really interesting thing is that ponies have the same bones in their legs as humans do in their hands, but shaped differently.” I explained. “Here, I’ll show you.”
I flipped to the page describing the bones of the foreleg.
"What language is this?" Sunny cocked her head to the side, peering over my shoulder at the book.
“Nevermind that.” I said, “We’re just here for the pictures. See, this joint here?”
"That the connect-y bit?"
“Yeah,” I said, “That connect-y bit is like a human’s fetlock, and then all of these bones in the rest of the leg are smaller and form the hand and fingers.”
"Ah yes, the femur, tibia, and fibula." Sunny nodded sagely. "I know them well."
“Ah, well ‘Jenny’.” I said, “Actually this is a foreleg, so those are the Radius, Ulna and Humerus.”
Sunny snickered. "Now she's complaining how bones were always her least favorite part to study. 'But I can name every bone in the hand by memory!'"
"Really? You can name all the Carpals?" I smirked.
"'Everything from the-'" Sunny began to recite. "Okay, I am not repeating all of that. You tell her yourself."
Another pause.
"Okay Jenny is gonna front because she says she wants to make you eat your words." Sunny explained. "But uh, in case you two get all up in your human stuff…"
“We will not be discussing anything inappropriate.” I said. “Will we, Jenny?”
I shot her a warning look.
Sunny studied the floor for a second before throwing herself around me. Again, I felt her warm up for a moment before she broke the hug.
"Okay! Nice meeting you! Bye!" Sunny chirped. For a second she leaned forward, then straightened back up.
"Proximal row. Scaphoid, lunate, triquetal, pisiform. Distal row. Trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate. And then the three phalanges. Proximal, middle, distal." Jenny recited. "Get wrecked, scrub."
“Too bad those are all fused in Equines, huh?” I smiled.
"Hey, I said of the hand." Jenny pouted. "Not the foreleg. I wasn't studying to be a vet."
“I just mean that the information is useless now,” I explained, “Since we’re horses.”
"You're a horse. I'm a horse-dragon hybrid." Jenny clarified. "And you not gonna be all 'oh Jenny you're so smart, ugh, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you'?"
Jenny smirked at me, arching a brow.
“Ya got me.” I held up my hooves. “Most people only know carpals, metacarpals, proximal middle and distal phalanges. Anything beyond that is doctor stuff.”
"Well, to be fair I only know because I failed that stupid pop quiz twice. At least my professor let me take extra credit to make up for it." Jenny grumbled, before brightening up and winking. "But looks like we got at least the rest of the day for you to revel in my amazing intelligence and charisma."
“What are the chances, huh?” I asked, “Two humans end up in Equestria and we’re both nurses?”
"Yeah, at least send veterinarians." Jenny chuckled. "Get my stupid cutie mark in treating dragons or something."
“Your cutie mark?” I questioned, “This is Sunny’s body, remember?”
"Well unless you can get a mark for being the sweetest thing alive I guess we're at square one."
“Come to think of it, do Kirin even get cutie marks?” I said, “I know Griffons don’t.”
Jenny put a hoof to her chin. "No idea. Hope not. I think they look dumb. But hell, a month ago kirin only meant a brand of beer to me, so what do I know?"
“I’m sure Sunny could tell you.”
We kept chatting until Applejack came to check on us and see if it was time for Sunny to go home. Fortunately she didn’t insist on speaking to Sunny’s parents or we would have been out of luck.
And so it was that I had my first sleepover in Equestria.
This scene is continued in the other side of this chapter, read it here: [link]