//------------------------------// // Cheer Up Green // Story: Trust Once Lost // by Greenhorne //------------------------------// Applejack woke me when it was time for dinner. I was confused as to where I was for a moment before I realised that she must have somehow transferred me into my own bed without waking me. The ache in my horn had mostly faded, though the fatigue and a general sense of queasiness remained. Thankfully this time I didn’t throw up on Applejack like I had at the hospital. Applejack saw I was having some difficulty walking down the stairs with my only-mostly-healed foreleg,  and rather than argue I just let her carry me down the rest of the way. It wasn’t until I smelled dinner that I realised how hungry I was; and that I had slept through lunch. Dinner was roasted vegetables with some kind of apple-based glaze. I was more focused on shoveling it into my mouth than I was tasting it. I ate three servings before my body finally signaled that I was full. “Green,” said Applejack, “About what happened at school today.” My tired brain didn’t have the tact to suppress an audible groan. “You don’t have ta talk about it right now,” She continued, “Ah just want ya ta know that Ah’m sorry fer bein’ dismissive when ya said ya were worried about school.” I could tell that Applejack had spoken to someone about me. A therapist maybe? The line sounded rehearsed and the wording was a bit off for how Applejack normally spoke. “It’s not your fault,” I said, “I just... lost control. I know I’m making things difficult. “ “Oh sweetpea, Ah don’t want ya ta be worryin’ about that.” Applejack moved forward and gave me a hug. Her coat was soft. “I’m so good at worrying though.” I said sarcastically. “What do you think a cutie mark in anxiety would look like?” “It may not seem like it now,” said Applejack, “But it will get better, Ah promise.” No it won’t. “I believe you.” I said Applejack could tell I was lying and she just hugged me tighter. When I got back upstairs I just crashed on my bed. Everything was just so tiring. Applejack was trying so hard and I was just screwing it up for her. Over and over. I woke before sunrise, again. This time it felt like it was still the middle of the night, which I guess made sense since I’d napped during the day. I didn’t want to get up, in case I woke someone else in the house, but I felt wide awake and couldn’t go back to sleep. It wasn’t pitch black outside, thanks to the oversized moon, but there was no trace of blue on the horizon to indicate an approaching sunrise. I didn’t have a clock in my room, which was irksome. After years of shift work, I lived by the clock - I could be waking up or going to sleep at any hour of the day. Not something I had to worry about anymore, but it was still a comfortable routine to wake and check the time.  I stretched out my limbs, and it felt almost wrong that they didn’t ache.  Unable to sleep, or to get up, I was stuck with my thoughts. In a few hours I was going to have to go to school again. There was no real point trying to convince AJ to let me stay home. It was her job to make sure I went to school, so trying to convince her not to force me to go was just going to make her feel bad; or worse, if I was successful, I’d get her into trouble. Applejack was honest to a fault so she was definitely going to tell them about the soap incident, and I’d be lucky if they didn’t take me away just for that. I couldn’t let them take advantage of Applejack’s overly open and trusting nature. It wasn’t that I was particularly attached to this placement, but Applejack clearly was, and I felt like if I got taken away it would destroy her. So, I had to go to school. It’s not like it would kill me.  It’ll just make me wish I were dead. Joking. Probably. Hopefully. I felt like I needed to get up and pace around, but clip clopping around on the hardwood floor was going to wake everyone up. I also wanted to avoid seeing granny this morning. After what happened last time it was just going to be awkward. When I finally heard the hoofsteps of everypony else walking around the sun was already peaking over the horizon. As awake as I’d felt a couple hours ago, now I felt tired. With no-one else around I allowed my shoulders to slump as I trudged my way to the bathroom to start my morning. When I passed through my bedroom door I made an effort to look less despondent in case anypony saw me. I even put a slight smile on my face which should, in theory, make me feel happier. It didn’t work so well when I was breathing past the tightness in my chest. “Good mornin’ Green,” Said Applejack, “Did’ya sleep alright?” She sounded tired. Did she have trouble sleeping because she was worrying about me? I felt my anxiety rising. I took a deep breath and felt the floor under my hooves. Four points touching the floor, anchoring me. I was being stupid. She was tired because it was early morning and she just woke up - no reason to think that had anything to do with me. Any yet... I couldn’t rule it out either. If I asked her about it she would just lie to save my feelings... wait. This was Applejack, so she wouldn’t lie would she? “I’m fine,” I said, “This is a dumb question and I... were you having trouble sleeping because you’re worrying about me?” “Oh sweetpea you don’t have to worry about me none,” Said Applejack, “I do feel concerned for you, but I slept jus’ fine.” Even though this was the Element of Honesty, I still had a hard time trusting she was telling the truth. I knew I would never tell her the truth if our situations were reversed. I still felt a bit better. Now I just had to get through another day of school. “Aww, cheer up darlin’” Said Applejack, “Ya don’t have ta go ta school today.” Damnit, this is what I was afraid of. “I’m fine, really,” I said, “I can go to school.” “Ah’m real sorry about what Ah said yesterday,” Applejack said, “Ah didn’t mean ta make it sound like ya were going to be kicked out’a this home for missing school.” “It’s not up to you though is it?” I said glumly, “If foal services finds out that you’re letting me miss school then you’ll get in trouble and they won’t let you take care of me anymore.” “Ah spoke with Dayglow yesterday, and yer teacher, and we all think it would be a good idea for ya to have some time off ta settle in.” AJ explained, “Nopony is goin’ ta get in trouble.” “Oh.” I sat down right in the middle of the hallway. I should have felt relieved but I just couldn’t relax. Something was going to go wrong. I felt it in the back of my neck. I hadn’t predicted this, which meant I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know what, but something was going to go wrong. I’d been prepared for going to school, but now... The only warning I had was a widening of Applejack’s eyes as she reacted to something behind me. “No-” She said, just as I was knocked to the floor. I felt hot breath on my face and opened my eyes to see a set of fangs; followed by a rough pink tongue that licked at my face. “Winona!” Commanded Applejack, “Heel!” There were tears streaming down my face, but they were tears of relief. I reached out and hugged the dog. She initially struggled against my grip to obey her master’s command, then she gave in and just licked my ear. Winona was at least as tall as I was, maybe a little taller, but she was rail thin so I had the clear weight and strength advantage.  I released her from the hug and she looked at AJ for a moment as if waiting for a command. When Applejack just smiled at her she turned back to me and bowed down with her front legs, wagging her tail as she invited me to play. I wished I had a tennis ball or something to throw for her. Winona’s boundless enthusiasm was infectious and I actually found myself grinning as she sniffed around me and allowed herself to be pet. The novelty of having a dog as big as me made me giggle. “Well, that’s not tha’ way I planned to introduce you two,” Said Applejack, “But Ah’d say yer gonna get along just fine.”