• Published 16th Oct 2019
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Trust Once Lost - Greenhorne



When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong gender, and lost in the wilderness.

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Familiar Faces

As I sat on the hospital bed, I couldn't help but feel guilty for what had happened. If only I had deescalated the situation, maybe none of this would have happened. But I was so angry at Spoiled for being a bully, I couldn't control myself. I said things I shouldn't have, and I provoked her into attacking me.

But I never meant for her to hurt Diamond Tiara. I was only trying to protect her.

When Dayglow came to interview me, I couldn't look her in the eye. I knew that I was partly to blame for what had happened, and I felt like I had let everyone down.

"Green, I know that this is difficult for you," Dayglow said, her voice gentle and kind, "But I need to know the truth. What happened between you and Spoiled?"

I looked down at the hospital sheets, feeling a surge of guilt. "I-I said some mean things to Spoiled, to goad her into hitting me," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper, "But I never meant for her to hurt Diamond."

Dayglow looked at me with concern. "Green, you're not to blame for what happened," she said gently, "Spoiled is the one who hurt you and Diamond Tiara. You are a victim here."

I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed with guilt. "But I wanted her to hit me," I admitted, "I wanted to get her in trouble. I didn't think she would actually break my leg, or hurt Diamond Tiara."

"Green, it was very brave of you to stand up for your friend," Dayglow said, "But you don't have to put yourself in danger like this. You need to understand that what Spoiled did was wrong. She shouldn't have hurt you, and she shouldn't have hit Diamond. She's an adult, and she should know better."

I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. "I know, and I'm sorry," I said, "But I don't want to be the reason why they're separated."

"Do you know if she has hit Diamond Tiara before?"

I shook my head. I didn't know. How could I know if this was the right decision if I didn't know? Maybe she didn't normally act like this. Would Diamond Tiara actually be better off without a mother? Did I actually want Diamond to go back with her potentially abusive mother?

"I don't know." I admitted.

Dayglow sighed and gave me a sympathetic look. "Green, I understand how you feel, but we need to make sure that Diamond is safe. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that happens, and I'll make sure that she has the support she needs. You're not responsible for what decisions I make with Spoiled. What you need to focus on is getting better and recovering from your injuries. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I guess."


Princess Twilight was surprised when she heard a knock at the door to her study. She had asked that she and Applejack not be disturbed.

"Come in!" she called, wondering who it could be.

The young pegasus messenger wore a crisp, professional uniform adorned with the insignia of the hospital where he worked, he had a sleek coat of dark grey fur and a well-groomed black mane. Despite his professional demeanor, there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes and a sheen of sweat on his brow. He stood at attention before Princess Twilight and Applejack, taking a moment to catch his breath before speaking. "Sorry to interrupt your meeting, Princess Sparkle," he began, his voice slightly tremulous. "But I need to inform Miss Applejack that her foster daughter has been in an altercation and now she's in the hospital."

Applejack's blood ran cold. "Oh no," she whispered, "Is she alright?"

The messenger hesitated, his eyes flicking nervously to Princess Twilight before returning to Applejack.

"She re-injured her broken leg." The messenger reported, "I don't know any more than that. She has been admitted to the emergency department."

"How did this happen?" Applejack demanded, "She was at home! What could have happened ta her?"

The messenger fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. "She and Spoiled Rich were having an argument in the town square," he began, his voice faltering under the intensity of Applejack's gaze.

"She what!?" Applejack interrupted.

"For some reason Spoiled grabbed Green's leg and twisted it. That's all the details I was told."

The sound of splintering wood could be heard as the arm of a very expensive chair was crushed by Applejack's Earthpony grip.

"Twilight," Applejack said, "Ah need ya ta come with me, and Ah need ya ta promise ya won't let me alone with Spoiled, or Ah may do something Ah regret."

Twilight nodded in understanding.

"I promise," Twilight said, "I'll teleport us to the hospital, it will be faster."


As Twilight and Applejack arrived at the hospital, there was a second flash of teleportation and they were met by a group of Twilight's Royal Guards. One of them, a tall, muscular stallion with a mustard yellow coat and deep orange mane, stepped forward and bowed.

"Princess Twilight, we were worried when we couldn't find you," he said. "As captain of your Royal Guards. It is my duty to protect you, and I can't do that if I don't know where you are"

"I appreciate that, Sunrise," Twilight said, trying to keep her frustration in check. "But I am capable of taking care of myself. I don't need a group of guards following me everywhere I go. How did you even find us so fast?"

"When protecting a VIP it's standard procedure to set up monitoring wards." Sunrise explained, "Since you objected to having a tracking spell placed on your person I had to use the monitor ward to analyse your teleport spell and determine it's vector-"

"I know how spell analysis works." Twilight huffed, "I just don't want to be tracked all the time."

"We understand, Princess," said a guard with the standard white coat and blue mane granted by her armor's enchantment, "And we try to be as unobtrusive as possible."

Twilight sighed, feeling irritated that she needed to have guards at all. When Twilight had declined to choose her own personal guards, Princess Celestia had gifted them to her. She knew that the guards were bound by oaths to protect her, but she couldn't help feeling like they were more loyal to Celestia than they were to her, and merely paying lip service to her orders.

"Fine," Twilight said. "But please try to stay out of our way."

"Of course, Princess," Sunrise said with a bow. "We are at your command."

"Alright fine," Twilight ordered, "Sunrise, you can stay with me. The rest of you will have to wait outside."

Sunrise turned to give orders to the other guards.

Twilight nodded and turned to Applejack. "Let's go check on Green," she said. "I hope she's okay."

The Trio entered the hospital.

"Your Highness!" The reception pony asked, "How may I help you?"

"We're here to see Green." Twilight said politely.

"Of course, Your Highness. Right this way." The reception pony led them through the emergency department to a room near the back.

"I'll have to leave you here, Princess," the reception pony said, "I have to assist the next patient in the waiting room."

"Thank you," Twilight replied.

After taking a breath, Applejack opened the door, letting light into the darkened room. She saw Green lying on the bed, and her eyes filled with tears at what she saw.

"Green," Applejack said softly, "Oh Sweetpea what did she do ta ya?"

Green's leg was propped on a pillow and bent awkwardly. Her eyes were closed, her face a mask of pain. Green had told her that Spoiled was dangerous, but she hadn't taken her seriously - or at least not seriously enough.

"Hey," Green mumbled, barely opening her eyes.


Applejack was here now and I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to rest. I couldn't tell her that though. I just had to endure.

"Ah'm here now," Applejack cooed, "Ah'm here now, so don't worry."

I wanted to tell her not to worry, but I knew it would be futile.

"I'm not worried," I said, "I- okay maybe I am worried, but not about me."

"What happened?" Applejack asked.

How could I explain to her that it was my fault that Spoiled had done this? That I had gotten angry, and escalated a situation on purpose? That I had got Diamond and myself hurt for no good reason.

"I don't know."

"Spoiled Rich broke yer leg." Applejack said.

"Well..." I said, "yeah."

"What happened?"

"I got angry at Spoiled," I said, "and I said some things I really shouldn't have."

"It's not yer fault."

"It is my fault," I muttered, "I knew she couldn't control herself. I pushed her into violence so that she would get in trouble, but I only expected a slap. I didn't know she would hurt Diamond, or twist my leg."

"Oh, sweetpea, yer not ta blame." Applejack replied, "Spoiled is responsible for her own actions."

"I know." I moaned, "But I didn't have to push her into this. I didn't have to keep going after I knew she couldn't defend herself."

"What are ya talking about?" Applejack questioned, "Spoiled is five times yer size-"

"Verbally." I interrupted, "She couldn't defend herself verbally. She wasn't smart enough, and I took advantage of her."

"I don't think it's fair to call it taking advantage." Applejack argued, "Ya weren't the one that started it."

"No," I agreed, "I wasn't. But I could tell how fragile Spoiled was. I knew what would happen if I pushed her too far. I planned on it."

"Ya can't blame yourself for what Spoiled did," Applejack said.

"What she did was wrong, but I could have prevented this. I can blame myself for creating the situation," I said, "I was the one that made the decision. Spoiled just reacted. "

"That's no different than her sayin' stuff ta you that made you angry." Applejack countered.

"I know the difference between being in control and not."

"Green, what are ya talkin' about?" Applejack asked.

"I know what I'm doing." I explained, "I know how I'm supposed to react. I know the consequences of my decisions."

"And Spoiled didn't?"

"No," I said, "She didn't. She just reacted. She was unable to control her emotions and she lashed out at me. I could have stopped it at any time, but I didn't. Because I wanted her to overreact."

"It ain't yer fault," Applejack insisted, "and I'm Ah'm goin' ta keep tellin' ya that until ya believe me."

I stared at the ceiling, "Fine, it's not my fault."

"Okay," Applejack said, "I won't argue with ya anymore."

"Thanks."


I couldn't help but sigh as Nurse Tenderheart entered the room, a small paper cup filled with pills in her hoof.

"I brought you some painkillers, Green," she said, holding out the cup. “Sorry I doubted you about the magic surge.”

I hesitated, memories of my last round of painkillers flooding back to me. They had made me delirious, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through that again.

"What are they specifically?" I asked, trying to hide my uncertainty.

"They're a combination of acetaminophen and codeine," Nurse Tenderheart explained.

I considered asking to just take acetaminophen on its own, but the pain in my head and the constant throbbing in my leg were too aggravating.

"Fine," I grumbled, taking the cup and popping the pills into my mouth. "But if I become delirious again, I'm blaming you."

Nurse Tenderheart chuckled and gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Green. I'll be keeping an eye on you. And Applejack is here too.”

I nodded, already imagining I could feel the effects of the painkillers.

"Thanks," I mumbled, my eyes starting to droop. "I just want to sleep."

"Of course, dear," she replied, tucking me in and turning off the light completely, "Get some rest."

I closed my eyes and let the painkillers take me under, grateful for the relief they brought.

As I settled back against my pillows, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. I knew I had to confront reality eventually, but I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. For now, I just wanted to escape into the oblivion of sleep, even if it was just for a little while.


Every cutie mark crusader was in my room. This was a disaster waiting to happen. I needed something to keep them occupied. They should have their cutie marks by now, but they didn't, because of me. All of a sudden I felt a sense of calm wash over me. The CMC shared similar expressions, as they began to sing in three-part harmony.

"When we grow up,

We won't ever have to worry,

'bout making dumb mistakes because-

we know being big is all it takes."

I was worried that the other patients would be bothered by how loud they were singing, but it seemed like they were all dancing along. Strange. Scootaloo sang her solo part next.

"When I grow up,

I'll fly like I'm a bird and there's

no-pony that could ever drag me down -

be-cause I'd be a grown-up."

The song seemed so familiar but I couldn't place it. The CMC sang in harmony again.

"When we grow up,

We'll eat sweets for breakfast and

Do what we want all day, then

We'll go to bed late every night."

I felt the magic take hold of me and I knew it was my time to sing.

"As I grew up,

I knew I had a lot of problems,

but I was sure that they would pass in time,

because one day I'd be a grown up"

"When you grew up-" The CMC kept up the backup vocals for me.

"When I grew up," I sang,

"I knew that none of that would matter,

And everything would be perfectly fine

When I was finally a grown up

I always felt,

Like every day's a mission,

All I had to do was make sure I survive,

So I could finally be a grown up."

When I grow up-

I always thought,

That I was just so special,

And when I grew up I'd be ready just to thrive.

They don't hold you back when you're grown up.

Diamond Tiara entered the room exactly on cue to sing her part.

"Mom always said,

That I should prove to them I'm better,

That it's the only way to keep them on my side.

I listened because she's a grown-up."

And I had the reply.

"Dad always said,

Son, you fake it till you make it,

You just act the way you want to feel inside.

But now I'm feeling inside out

When I grow up-

Did I grow up?

Or did I just grow older,

And better at pretending I was fine.

Is this really all I'm destined to be.

Am I grown up?

Or am I just pretending,

And inside I'm still frightened like I'm-

that little boy who screwed it up again,

and doesn't know what to-do.

When I grow up-

Diamond Tiara lifted my chin with her hoof.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it

Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it

If you always take it on the chin and wear it

Nothing will change.

Tiara booped my nose and I rubbed it. Nurses from the unit wheeled my bed into the unit floor where they were all preforming a choreographed dance. I could swear the unit wasn't this big before; and that it didn't have a rotating platform in the middle of it.

"It's the slip of a tongue, and the order is wrong," Redheart sang.

"The occasional beep and the patient can't sleep." Melody added.

"A clot can break free and become an infarct," Dr Red Cross had a great Tenor voice, "The smallest of things stills the mightiest heart."

"Every day starts with a name on the board." The nurses sang accompanied by the squeaking of pens as they wrote their names on the whiteboards.

Paperstack burst through the doors to sing her line. "All I want is patient's moving up to the ward."

The nurses were singing again.

"If you treating a filly and start to feel doubt,
They don't have to cry, they don't have to shout!"

'Cause if you write a report you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'rapport' stop you
If you sit around and let suspicions drop, you're
Letting them down!

When you see a filly with an unkempt mane, or
Injuries and scars her parents can't explain, or
You see a colt repeatedly and just ignore it.
You might as well be saying
You think that it's ok
And that's not right!
And if it's not right!
We have to put it right!

"Just because I find myself in this story" I sang,

"It doesn't mean that everything is written for me

If I think the ending is fixed already

I might as well be saying

I think that it's OK"

"And that's not right!" Sang Dayglow

"And if it's not right." Sang the hospital staff in unison, "We have to put it right!"

I turned to see princess Luna, in her filly form, sitting next to me on the bed, bobbing her head and clearly enjoying herself.

"Oh," I realized what should have been apparent a while ago, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"Tis a good dream!" Luna beamed, "We are glad to see thou art in high spirits, considering the circumstances."

I sighed.

"Worry not young Green," Luna said, "We have not come to add to your worries, we are here to wish thee pleasant dreams. You have earned them."

The song ended with everyone singing:

"And when you wake up, remember it's your story!"

"How long have you been listening?" I asked.

"We were here from the beginning," Luna replied, "Dreams are a place where a pony makes sense of their confusing feelings - we merely gave this dream a push in the right direction. Your subconscious weaved together this catchy tune from the unsorted depths of your memories."

"You know then?" I asked. "About who I used to be."

"We have known what you once were for some time," Luna admitted, "But we felt you were not ready to face that truth. Worry not, it changes nothing between us."

"But I lied!" I insisted, "I lied to everypony."

"You said what you believed you needed to say in order to be safe." Luna said. "You had no ill intent; you know the reasons why what you did was wrong so there is no need to lecture thee. Now is the time to grow into yourself and discover who you really are. That is what matters."

"It's hard though," I complained.

"Many things in life are hard," Luna said, "But that doesn't mean they aren't worth doing."

"Then what should I do? How can I fix this?" I pleaded.

Luna looked around the room at my friends, dream representations though they were. She leaned forward and nuzzled me under the chin.

"It will be alright," She said softly. "It might take awhile, but in due time you will find your peace. You have friends now, ponies you can trust."

I nodded against her muzzle. In time, I'd get there. Somehow...


Dr. Red Cross sat in front of his typewriter. Each of his hooves grasped an appropriately sized metal plate that could be moved in six different directions. The combination of the position of each plate printed a character. It was more mechanically complicated than the old binary typewriters, but it allowed for much faster typing without the need for a crystal to convert several taps into one character.

Dear Dr. Mirror Image,

I am writing to refer Green, a patient of mine, to your care for psychological evaluation and treatment. Green is an eight year old unicorn filly recently admitted to the hospital following an altercation that resulted in the re-injury of a broken leg. Green is highly anxious and prone to panic attacks, however, during the course of her treatment I have come to believe that there may be more to her case than meets the eye.

Despite her age, she has a practical understanding of medicine and displayed a mature understanding of her own treatment and care. Green has had a bad experience with a therapist recently so she may be reluctant to seek help, which is why I believe that it is important for her to work with somepony who won’t jump to conclusions. It’s vital for Green to receive support and guidance in processing the events that led to her injury and managing her underlying emotional issues.

I have the highest confidence in your ability to provide Green with the care and support she needs. Your extensive experience and compassionate approach make you the perfect fit for Green's unique needs.

I look forward to discussing Green's case further with you and would be happy to provide any additional information or support as needed.

Sincerely,
Dr. Red Cross MD

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