• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Pvt Caboose


All that I wanted, were things I had before. All that I needed, I never needed more. All of my questions, are answers to my sins. All of my endings, are waiting to begin.

T

***UNDER CONSTRUCTION***
STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN


It was all gone, like a snap of the fingers. I was ripped away from my world, victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully I was saved from the call, as it nearly ended my life, by something completely alien. Ponies, now in their world, it seems I’m doomed to inhabit the new land, while I wait for my chance to leave. With only my belongings, and memories, I am forced to rebuild my shattered old life, into something better, with my new, fuzzy friends. After all, how hard could it be?

Warning: Some scenes are not portrayed as true as they actually are, remember, fiction, so not everything that happens would happen in real life.

I would like to thank Twilight Best Pony for helping me fine tune my story, along with supporting me through the long road that is this pile of words.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 259 )

You have me intrigued, but I'll wait until the next chapter before I decide to give it a vote. I literally skipped all of the scenes on Earth, they bored me so much.

3187869 i would have to disagree bout the earth parts being boring but I'm with you other than that

By rewriting, do you happen to mean that this story is complete? Because that would be awesome. It's a promising start so far and I'll be keeping my eye on this fic.

3189477 No, what I mean is that I added a lot to both chapters. The used to be just over 3000 words, also, I had to make changes just for approval. But for it being complete? No, hopefully not in the near future.

3191473 I'm literally trying to stay awake and write the next chapter.

3191475 Fien be that way don't write the next chapter! (SARCASM)

I love this idea for a story. Please, keep it up!

Liking the feel of it so far dude, keep going :)

Is he really going to explain everything still dressed head to toe in fireman garb?

3216594 Not much longer, one can only handle the heat of Turnout gear for so long.

3216600 I'd imagine the noise of the respirator would get annoying. :rainbowlaugh:

3216663 Now actually thinking about what I wrote, the SCBA and jacket were stripped, and the pants were half on. But over all, yes, it gets old really fast. It's funny to sound like Darth Vader for like 5 minutes, then after that it's boring.

Yay, a new chapter! I like it, and keep it up!

Interesting so far. For the record, if you want to make it so that that youtube video starts at 4:46 when they click on the link, just put this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8ggJnvG1Y80#t=286

In the part of the thing that requests a link.

Uhhhh.... did she just sedate him? Knowing absolutely nothing about his biology other than a basic physical, or how he might react to Equestrian sedatives?

Wow, way to kill your patient there, Redheart.

3308064 It's Redheart, what do you expect?

3308583 Huehuehuehuehuehuehue that's RedHeart for you.

3347257 Don't worry, it's in the works.

GS4

3347269 also good idea with the fireman would you mind reading my story and seeing if you like it If you want to I will send a link and the password

Is there some fanon depiction of Nurse Redheart as incompetent? Because I don't think I ever saw anything from the series to suggest that she was...

Oh well, no point making a big thing about it, I guess. It was just an niggling detail that stuck out to me.

3350077 From what I've seen with Nurse Redheart, is that she is either (A) A hardass, (B) Hates the shit out of her patients, or (C) Falls head-over-hooves in love with them. I didn't really want her to be any of those, maybe C in the future mind you, but just a normal pony, who could make mistakes.

I skipped to when he arrived in Equestria. I giggled.

3362714 I will forgive you, only because of your name.

First thing to come to mind... 'FEED FUCKING DUCKS YYYEEEAAA!!!!' Glad he can, my ass has a phobia of them fuckers.

I once had a pet duck i rescued it since it was abandoned or its parents where killed...
Now that i have finished this chapter i have to say one thing... when he was grabbing all the bread all i could think of was that one scene from wallace and gromits a grand day out where wallace is shoveling tons of packets of crackers into his arms then running down the stairs to get into their orange rocket before it blasted off...

Everything seems fine and all but... I have to criticise this.

NEVER use a word that ends with and '-ing' to start a sentence. It doesn't make writing the fiction any easier and it makes the reader feel that the fiction is somewhat leaning on the 'stupid' side. I don't think I can handle more of this kind of thing, I have tolerated enough of this from the beginning to this chapter.

I really want to see how this fiction is going to turn out, I hope you could stop the habit of using '-ing' words to start a sentence. (Sing is fine, but not Singing.) :ajsmug:

3378319 I'll make a better habit of not doing that. Only because I'm straining to not start sentences with the same word. And trying to move away from describing actions in a tedious way, with the same words all the time. If that makes sense?

P4

Omg I want to read the next chapter NOW!!!:flutterrage:

P4

3400493 now I have to as you something, are you or have you ever been a firefighter. If not, then how do you have so much knowledge on the gear and whatnot.

3401620 I am actually a firefighter, which is something I love doing. And I love to learn, especially about things I like doing. So I try to learn as much as I can about this.

P4

3406601 oh.:pinkiegasp: well thank you for everything that you do. :pinkiehappy: and please be careful out there.

3407687 Thank you, it's just what I do. Nothing special about it. Also, firefighting has run in my family for several generations. And I will.

And then they had sex. The End!

Seeing the future isn't hard my friend. It is the now that I have troubles with. Considering I have to wait right now for the next chapter to arrive.

3465424 I find that I have the same dilemma, waiting for the next chapter...

P4

Yay, and interesting:duck:

PLEASE...GIVE US PICTURES OF THE VEHICLES FOR US NON CAR PEOPLE :(

3476987 Like everything? Because if so, I have it all.

3479586 Yes Cause being the guy i am who is a train finatic and not a car person you were basicaly talking alien to me...

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