• Member Since 28th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen October 5th

AdmirerofHeartstrings


I am big fan of well written HiE stories. I'm also a fan of anime and romantic stories. I like to write about good xenphilic romance, though I'm not one of the best writers out there.

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Nightmare Moon was seen like nothing more than a dark tyrant to most of her subjects. But somewhere behind the veil of her darkness, she also felt the need for sympathy, for compassion, for love...

One night a child of unknown species was found in the Royal Gardens of Nightmare Moon's Palace by two of her Royal Guards. They took the child to their Princess to see what they should do.
Nightmare Moon, even though seemed uninterested at first but after she learned some certain facts about him, she decided to keep him, and that's where this unusual story unfolds. Follow the human as he grow up to be the Knight and a Servant to her majesty...

(Set in Nightmare-verse)

(A collab between me and one of my friend)

Sex tag is due to heartwarming romance and suggestions. No detailed description involved.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 26 )

You might want an editor, since I saw a looooootttt of mistakes! Other than that, I like the story. A lot! :pinkiehappy:

9467973
Thanks for letting me know. Can you point a few of them out?

Ooh, Okie Dokie Lokie!

A sharp crying sound of whines was being heard nearby the Palace, though mostly unheard but that was clearly the sound of a crying foal.

Soooooooo, you said that it could be heard, and then said it was unheard? Also, you need a comma after unheard! Another thing, A sharp crying sound of whines? You already said it was crying!

There's a lot of other mistakes, but I need to throw a party for my friends! :pinkiehappy:

So I can't tell you them yet!

9467983
Well... I'm fixing them for the moment. Plus, I wanted to say that his cries were very loud but unheard by anyone until the Royal Guards approach him.

9467996
If the cries were as loud as you seem to be implying, I think it would be better to have them be ignored rather than unheard. Like -Pinkie_Pie- said, there’s a lot that can be improved. A big thing is that it flows really poorly. For example, the first two sentences...

A sharp crying sound was coming nearby the Palace. Though mostly unheard, but that was clearly the sound of a crying foal.

Just over 20 words, but a surprising amount can be done with just this to spruce it up. I think it would flow a lot better if it were instead written like this...

A sharp cry pierced the silence of the Palace Gardens. It was clearly that of a foal, yet the plea went unanswered.

It doesn’t take much for a clear message to become encumbered. In fact, sometimes it’ll flow better if you rearrange the order of parts separated by commas, like what I did to the second sentence. The parts will have to be rewritten if you rearrange them of course. It’s surprising when you really think about it, how many nuances exist in written language.

This Is Really Interesting. Im likeing where this is going so far. Keep up the good work! :)

Great work and interresting story! 👍
Please continue this Story...!:pinkiehappy:

"Oh, no! I'd... I'd like a piece."

Celestia is getting revenge.

Quite interesting I must say, I'm following this for sure. Keep it up!

9469643
Well, this story is prewritten so I'm just taking a break from updating the chapter. That's all. I could just upload all the story at once but then I thought, it would get too boring for readers if I did that. So, hopefully, I will publish the next chapter whether later today or tomorrow.

9469660
ok thx!! hi! :) chara stop being creepy!!!!>:( never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>:)

9470269
Nope. He's 18 at the time.
He was found when he was a year and a few months old, 1+ 13=14+4 years=18

9470345
Just wanted to clear it up.

This story was awesome. We really need more like it.

9497851
Thanks. And if you guys like such stories, I will make more of this kind.

I never thought of Nightmare Moon that way! I would love to hear more!

Can you please add more chapters this is a very good story.

9547895
I'm struggling with some ideas at the moment. I'll appreciate you guys' feedback. I'd like to know what you wanna see next.

This is a great story, I’d love to see more added though

Loved this story! I would like to see meaby a little more, but if no inspiration sparks, I understand. :heart:

Can you do an epilogue?

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