• Member Since 28th Mar, 2019
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Element of Power

I aspire to the purity of the blessed Machine

Element of Power Joined 28th Mar, 2019 · Offline

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Arriving in a strange world, you, a musician, stumble upon a unicorn named Tempest Shadow. As you grow closer to her, it reveals a growing love.

Editing done by Applefai
Chapters (7)
Incomplete Published: Apr 19th, 2019 Download
9,099 words
Comments ( 57 )
karnazom
karnazom #1 · Apr 19th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·
Reply

good, good story. i approve soo much!

Zombieknight27
Zombieknight27 #3 · Apr 19th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·
Reply

I like it. Gonna track. Keep it up :)

coolcatnate
coolcatnate #6 · Apr 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·
Reply

Nice touch with the authors note

Dragon Soul
Dragon Soul #7 · Apr 22nd, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·
Reply

:facehoof: Dang it Pinkie!

Cadaver21
Cadaver21 #8 · Apr 25th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

good chapter man

Element of Power
Element of Power #10 · Apr 25th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

9587638
I'm seeing a recurring theme here...

Dragon Soul
Dragon Soul #12 · Apr 25th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

I think this is the first second-person POV story I've read that I've enjoyed. That style tends not to sit well with me. So far, it is the only gripe I have about this story. For that, I think you're doing a great job. Can't wait to read more.

Element of Power
Element of Power #13 · Apr 25th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

Thanks, second person was never really my thing, but I gave it a try.

Starlight Nova
Starlight Nova #16 · Apr 26th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

9590099
What makes you say that?

LightnDarkGodofSalvation
LightnDarkGodofSalvation #17 · Apr 26th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
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9590275
I don't know how to make sing notes. But for the question, I find it funny.

Legioner8
Legioner8 #18 · Apr 28th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·
Reply

frightened of the creature I was carrying

She?

Cadaver21
Cadaver21 #19 · May 25th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

Great job on chapter four

karnazom
karnazom #20 · Jun 2nd, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·
Reply

Hehe, breaking the fourth wall like a boss since 2010

Cadaver21
Cadaver21 #21 · Jun 5th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

reverse, reverse, reverse; Moon-walking real funny man great job

MisterEdd
MisterEdd #22 · Jun 6th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

This is it so far? Now it's time for the waiting game...

Lorddrakefox
Lorddrakefox #23 · Jun 21st, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

Kinda entertaining, I could see this becoming something I would interested in following, I just hope the chapters will be longer in the future, even if it might take a little longer.

DTavs exe
DTavs exe #24 · Jun 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

This sounds interesting, but I've always ran away from the gore and death tags, how explicit with those tags will this fic be?

Element of Power
Element of Power #25 · Jun 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

9701277
The most that will happen is talking about the past, which could include a death. Not sure If I will continue the story a steady pace though...

Dan
Dan #26 · Jul 18th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
Reply

Sapient. Not Sentient.

Element of Power
Element of Power #27 · Jul 18th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
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9738348
So there is a difference!
Cool.

Dan
Dan #28 · Jul 18th, 2019 · · · Chapter 5 ·
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9738351
All animals are sentient. Except maybe jellyfish and seasponges and the like with the most basic nervous systems.

Albioris
Albioris #32 · Aug 1st, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
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I like it, but the pacing should be slowed down a little. Take your time, explore thoughts, feelings, enviroments, conversations.

Red Neck
Red Neck #33 · Aug 5th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

Dam good song good choice

Applefai
Applefai #34 · Aug 10th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·
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She had been expecting it to be asleep, or walking around, or just gone completely, but instead, it was curled up on the couch, crying . Although she knew nothing about the creature, it broke her heart to hear such sad sounds coming from it. Her own eyes started to tear and blur her vision. Making her way down the stairs again, Tempest then quietly went over to the crying form of the creature.

Just need a space from gone completely

Applefai
Applefai #35 · Aug 10th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

"So, we're going to go, and come back tomorrow. Does that sound good." [got to explain who is talking here]

I meant explain who said they'll come back tomorrow like

"So, we're going to go, and come back tomorrow. Does that sound good." Twilight said looking at both you and Tempest

Element of Power
Element of Power #36 · Aug 10th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
Reply

9774957
Sorry, when you give me the edits, I just kinda copy and paste the whole thing without looking.

Applefai
Applefai #37 · Aug 10th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

9775190
It's ok, no harm done.

LightnDarkGodofSalvation
LightnDarkGodofSalvation #38 · Sep 16th, 2019 · · · Chapter 6 ·
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Twilight, where was your patience?

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #39 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·
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Left, right, right, left . Dodging and weaving through trees, your legs pumping, hot blood flowing through you aching muscles.

Ooh, someone did research on horses' different gaits.

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #40 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 2 ·
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9578162
Oooooh, you jerk. You did that on purpose!

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #41 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 3 ·
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9587638
Aaaaaahhhh! You jerk!

shadow wolf1573
shadow wolf1573 #42 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

9841737
I will do that every chapter

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #43 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 4 ·
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9590029
You'd better, you sadist!

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #44 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 5 ·
Reply

While you walked along, you notice a music shop. Stopping to look, there is an amazing guitar in the window. Looking closer you realize something. That guitar looked exactly like a Synyster Gates guitar . Though you don't understand how ponies could have it, or even play it, you can't stop imagining yourself playing it. Maybe even playing a song for Tempest.

I looked that up. That's an $1100 guitar. (Long and Mcquades in Canada) dude got expensive taste.

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #45 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 6 ·
Reply

"Then GO!" she laughs, pushing you out the door. You briskly walk to town, looking around for the shop you went to earlier. After a few minutes, you see it. Jogging over, you go in immediately looking around for Vinyl. You see her at the counter, looking high bored*(see Author's Note).

Ooh, I get to look forward to an author's note. The intrigue has been doubled.

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #46 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

9841774
*plays harpsichord music* Why? Why can't you be merciful and use damp instead? Must you play with my rage in this way?

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #48 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

Good vocals, awesome solo guitar.

That poor drummer, though. Probably bored out of his mind. The rhythm isn't that imaginitive, and the chord selection is kinda boring. All in all, not a bad song, but not a great one, either. 6/10.

Element of Power
Element of Power #49 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1 ·
Reply

9841676
Wow, the first person to notice that!

Amos Anon
Amos Anon #50 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 7 ·
Reply

9841830
I am unamused in an amused sort of way.

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