• Member Since 23rd May, 2018
  • offline last seen March 28th

Funkierparty


T

This is just another human in pony land that I wanted to do for a bit. this is also the very first story that I’ve ever written in my entire life so please I want you to insult me so I know what I’m doing wrong if you see an opening call me a small brain please do so.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 13 )

my only concern about the story is when it does this.<I could tell I was struggling to stay at my feet as I desperately looked around.I could tell I was struggling to stay at my feet as I desperately looked around.> gets a little confusing when it dubbles like that.

Yea I Noticed that. It doubles a sentence after I’m done typing it and I have no idea why it does that. Thx for pointing it out

I think this story is great so far, I can't wait to see what more you are going to write.

i have only two problems, one the story has horrible grammar, I am guessing English is your second language.

The pace is a bit fast but that doesn't matter as much.

Dude, do you like, have auto correct on
Like the grammar i can understand, but
"sweet of bell"?
well besides that, good job i guess

“Sweet of bell” Lol

When I am a kid from Texas :pinkiegasp:

Well i think this story has potential!

Keep it up!

Thx SethFilms I appreciate it but if you Don’t like something about the story even the smallest detail please let me know

I truly do like this story, but all of the spelling and grammar errors can make it hard to read at times. Are you currently looking for a proofreader? I would be willing to help out.

Congratulations on your first fic, of course, your writing needs to improve, but you will fix it.

I like the fic, I am sure that with time you will improve, I look forward to the next chapter

very nice story so far, would like to read some more :D

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