Human in Equestria16,976 stories ·16,820 members
No Originality Brigade1,134 stories ·299 members
This story is a sequel to The Stars Revolt!
A continuation of the universe established in "The Stars Revolt", and a reboot of "Hands", Andrew Shepherd is trying to live a normal life as the local Ponyville alien.
Unfortunately, he's in Equestria.
Cover art by Sipioc.
Featured?! Thank you so much!
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Where can I find Sipioc?
stories like this are ones that i love altho i perfer longer chapters i will still give a thumb up and fav til the next one ta ta
YEEEEEEEES
I would like to see all these shorts in one location
Thanks Duder
You know, the density of human beings can be so great that it's antithetical source of romantic gravitation.
You know, there’s stars out there with cores less dense than Shepherd right now.
I like this
I want more
Oh I think I remember this short.
Cows have a Hell?
Wasn’t this a post from a while ago? Ah well, it’s still funny!
Yeah he should, he will have enough protein if he just eats lentils, beans, pickcheak, etc, 500g cooked a day, not raw, fruits, vegetables, seeads for the other nutrients, mushrooms for vit d, and because the crops are being naturally harvested, I think he wouldn't need b12 supplements, he will get enough bacteria from them.
Dude, don't call us plucky. We don't know what it means. We're more optimistic, yes.
I want more
But tq for the chapter
Very funny chapter--I loved how that cow showed her dislike for her adversary.
It was glorious.
That said, one could live on chickens and even rodents(like they do in Peru with their roasted Guinea Pig)--as long as one eats everything, entrails included. Not raw, for obvious reasons and washed thoroughly--but still, a good stew with everything inside with plenty of spice should do the trick.
The red meat has that advantage--to provide everything with a couple of portions a week. Liver nearly all of it--thus the suggestion of having liver once a week instead of regular red meat.
Pity that the taste of liver is very harsh on one's palate if one didn't grow with it.
Also, all hail Filthy Frank and his skit about vegans.
10314643
Ponies have Tartarus
Cows have the grill down bellow, HELL...
Griffons have KFC
10315213
and the worst fate of all
seaponys have long john silvers
Damn I didn’t know these cows could be that cold
10314643
It’s the name of the grill that all bad cows go to
Funny, but one really can do without red meat - there are hundreds of millions of Hindus and Buddhists who don't eat it for religious reasons and get along just fine without supplements. Strict veganism is tricky to do with purely natural foods, but that's not what we're talking about here. [1]
(I have a headcanon myself that cows sell their bodies to the leather and glue industries upon death.)
10314727
Judging from the downvotes, a lot of representatives of the Bacon Culture here.
[1] A meat eater myself, but see no reason to spread propaganda for the American Beef Council.
10321328
Don't know why people down voted, I said the fact that he can live a long helthy without meat, and the prota should'nt worry, it's another matter he choses to look for meat anyway.
Molded by it. I didn't see a monogamous ship, till, I was a man.
You have no idea.
10314643
It's called McDonald's
dancingastronaut.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/hamburgar-ronald-mcdonald.jpg
Delightful
Hmm. This won’t do. I need to color that for you.
10311955
Who wants to know?
10331587
Thank you! That would be great!
As a fan of guns, I feel I must point out. The glock would take .45acp, .45 colt would be to long to fit in the magazine.
Well I can see the CMC casually making a T-1000. It's every weapon but the guns! Man, probably good story right there. My Varying Sized Liquid Metal Killing Machine.
10331680
I know at times they made .45ACP cylinders that could be swapped out for the later models (third gen I believe) and there are more than a few conversions to .45 ACP for the earlier models. The conversions being more desirable as it could still shoot both.
Also, no NFA laws and he still hasn't done a FA conversion. Shame I tell you. He might want to dig up a suppressor or make one soon though.
To be fair, who is?
Now all you need is futuristic armor, a dead pet rabbit and a burning hatred of all things demonic and you're one bonafide Doomguy.
Worse. Discord.
That is correct.
You drive a hard bargain.
He's got you there.
Take what you can get.
I was wondering what was going on and why we had skipped all the way to Princess Twilight Sparkle Part 1. Turns out, you didn't.
10327480
Or the cow level in diablo.
Oh god, not THIS arc. Is he going to shoot Aspen in the face? I hope he shoots Aspen in the face.
Huh. I hadn't realized how similar its start looked to the S4 opener.
10331680
It's a model of Colt for .45 ACP so it can share ammo with the semiautomatic.
"Yes, there he is, officer. Extreme obliviousness in the face of obvious seduction. Slap him in irons; that's a felony around these parts!"
You friendzoned her? You utter bastard!
No, no. It's perfectly justifiable.
Ah yes. The cow mafia. Finding new and inventive ways of disposing of bodies.
Oh gods
Welp. Another convert
Against vines? A chainsaw would do you more good...
Hey, making a reference to the fic you're an AU of is cheating
Why bother? She dictates all her letters to Spike anyway
Remarks and corrections:
> You can breath fire
[breathe] fire
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I believe shotgun is considered the traditional accouterment to the chainsaw.
10333665
Yes, but it's not a substitute!
Oh this should be FUN.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...... Christ, that's funny. I love the mental image of a cow bumping off and eenmy by feeding them to griffons or something.
I hope said army involves clowns with spider-heads, eight limbs and on monocycles juggling running chainsaws.
Now that would be pants-crappingly terrifying to behold.
The best thing about bad ideas is that its rarely what the enemy will expect.
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The traditional human incantation must be said before undertaking such a stupid idea:
"Hold my beer and watch this..."
What you did there. I see it.
Haha, sweet
Only if it's funny.
Just because they are not exactly hot for Shepherd, doesn't mean they would disagree to spending some time as he works those magic fingers of his. ...
Well, you know, gems can hold enchantments... how else do you think these potions get magical?
Unfortunately. From friendzoning pretty mares
Chewy!
Saw that coming
Hah.
Oh, bullshit. You live in this place, Zecora
Terrible rhyme, Zecora. And you'd get into serious trouble threatening his manhood; I have it on good authority that some very powerful mares have claimed dibs on it.
Oh boy
Oh deer
Aw yiss
Remarks and corrections:
> “Huh? What’s that?” He asked
Shouldn't have a capital letter on "he".
> None of y fears mattered now.
"None of [my] fears mattered now."
> “Look down the sites,” I said,
"sights", not "sites".
> “A human?!” Another deer gasped.
No capital letter on "another".
> “What kind of an idea?” He asked.
No capital letter on "he".