//------------------------------//
// Sleeping with Mares: Pinkie Pie 
// Story: Short Hand 
// by Andrew Joshua Talon 
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"Uggghhh..." I felt like the walking dead. My limbs moved like lead weighs were attached to them, and I slowly shuffled my way to my bedroom.

"Urgh... That wasn't a construction site, that was a demolition derby," I grumbled. "Last time I let Derpy near a chainsaw."

I stumbled into my bathroom, and quickly washed my face. I wandered over to the bed and pulled my clothes off. I slid into the bed and sighed deeply.

"Hi Shepherd!"

I closed my eyes.

"I am way too tired to be freaked out by you sneaking into my bed, Pinkie Pie," I said. "But please tell me you aren't going to freak me out or mess me up?"

Pinkie hugged me tightly, and snuggled up close against my side.

"Nah," she said, "I'm just happy to cuddle you! You're nice and warm." She nuzzled up against my chest, and sighed happily.

I sighed.

"Yeah, well, you're pretty cuddly too," I muttered. I scratched the back of her head, and rubbed her curly locks between my fingers. It really was very nice.

"It's my specialty!" Pinkie Pie said happily. "You're pretty tired, huh?"

"Very," I grumbled.

"And sore?" Pinkie Pie guessed.

"Severely," I confirmed.

"That was fun to watch, you avoiding Derpy's chainsaw! That was great," Pinkie chuckled.

"Only with time passing," I grumbled.

"You need to laugh more," Pinkie said. "You have a nice one."

I rested my chin on her head and sighed.

"Thank you," I replied. "... So, really? No tricks? No pranks?"

Pinkie rolled up onto my stomach, and glared at me.

"Shepherd," she admonished gently. I sighed and kissed her nose. She flushed.

"Sorry," I murmured back to her. Pinkie giggled and nuzzled me back.

"You weren't supposed to kiss me that soon!" She said softly. I snorted back at her.

"What, you have a schedule?"

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh yes! Out for years and years! From your first foal's birthday party to the wedding party to the party when you get your life extended!" She beamed at me. "I've planned out every party for you, Shepherd! Because you deserve every one!"

I stared back into her intense blue eyes. For all of her joviality, Pinkie Pie seemed completely one hundred percent sincere. She held my gaze without a single blink.

"That's... Sweet, in a scary kind of way," I said. "I mean, how could you plan everything ahead?" I winced.

"Um... You aren't going to suddenly reveal you're some unnatural thing from beyond reality itself, right?"

Pinkie Pie sighed, and nuzzled my chest.

"You always seem kind of scared of me sometimes, Shepherd," she said. I shook my head.

"Not scared, just..." I sighed. "I just don't understand you sometimes. Your Pinkie sense and your magic, and how it defies explanation." I let out a long breath. "It does scare me a little."

Pinkie nuzzled my chest.

"Aw, Shepherd. You should know by now that I'm not a monster," she said. "I mean, no more than you're a monster."

I grimaced at that. God, I felt like a heel. I hugged her tightly.

"You know I don't really think you're a monster," I murmured. Pinkie Pie nodded.

"I know," she said. "You say a lot of things you don't really mean. You don't think about how it will sound-Until after."

I winced, and scratched the back of her head. Right between her ears.

"Yeah. It can be hard. I feel like I'm spending half of my life apologizing," I said. Pinkie nodded.

"Mm. Like you don't understand what went wrong? Yeah, I have that problem sometimes too." She beamed up at me. "But I know you feel exactly the same way when you mess up. So I can forgive you. If you can forgive me?"

I blinked up at her.

"Forgive you? For what?"

"For freaking you out," Pinkie said. "I do that to a lot of ponies sometimes. And humans too."

"Yeah, but you didn't mean to," I said, stroking her back. I blinked. "Wait, was this all some means of making me realize what kind of a jerk I was? In the nicest possible way?"

Pinkie Pie chuckled and snuggled in tightly. I pulled the covers up and stroked her mane.

"Silly human, who do you think I am? Princess Celestia?" She asked. "Now go to sleep. I want to have fun with Princess Luna and plan our wedding!"

I shook my head.

"Impossible pony," I muttered, and cuddled her tightly. I slowly fell asleep as she began to snore.

She was so random.

***